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A... y In; _ -- . x!“ _' 4‘" <57" we». ,<;_, .. . ,. .,._‘..;_,_..=t, _ Down on Columbus. D s D I RE C T 0 353?. (From the Arizona Kicker.) A SOCI‘ETIES. - Two weeks ago the citizens of Gran- -xte City, through the mayor and other eminent residents, invited us to ap- pear last Thursday evening and dclivor our celebrated lecture on Columbus. We accepted the invitation and were on hand, and when we stood before the audience we found about 450 people assembled. It looked to us like a cul- tured audience. We hadn’t got Colum- bus away from his own fireside, when we discovered that what four-fifths of the audience wanted were a topical song and a clog dance. Five minutes later, ‘just as Columbus reached the frontdoor "with a determination to go out and discover something, the people were ...hissing. We hung to our subject, how- evor, and then the bad eggs and dead ~oats began to fly in our direction, and we were pounded off the stage. They ought to have been satisfied with that, but were not. A gang of enthusi- astic citizens insisted on doing us vio- lence, and to escape them we had to hide in the brush for three long hours. As near as we can learn they were dis- appointed in Columbus. He was neither cowboy nor miner. He didn’t jump on his hat or tackle Indians. They were down on us because they were down on him, and we understand that a dozen men looked all around town for Chris- topher and intended to make it hot for him. We made no kick. If they want our lecture, they can have it; it' they «don’t, we are always prepared to make ,‘for out doors as soon as the first egg :sn-ikes us. We have no subscribers at Granite City, and we are glad of it. If We had two of them there, one would probably think that George Washington was running this paper, and the other would want us to publish something --funny about Noah’s ark. Engaged on Sight. “THE STORY OF A BRIGHT, UP TO DATE OFFICE BOY. He was a freckled faced, foxy looking boy of 13 or 14 and not more than about half as big as he ought to be, but he was wiry and his eyes were clear. The proprietor of the store was in his ofiice when the boy entered. “ Do you want a boy here ?” asked the youngster, with confidence. "‘ What do I want with a 'boy ?" re- plied the proprietor, with an intent to ' have fun with his visitor. “ I don’t know,” was the unabashed response. “I guess they have boys around stores sometimes, and I thought _'ycu might want one.” “ Well, since you have mentioned it, I do.” . - “ What kind of a boy do you want?” The proprietor looked him over with a more or less suspicious eye. “I want a good boy,” he said slowly. “ Then I won’t do,” said the young- eter. “ Why won’t you ? Are you a bad boy ? ” “ Umâ€"umâ€"er,” hesitated the caller, '4‘ I’m just a hey, that’s all. There’s something wrong with ’em when they’re good." He started out, when the proprietor called him back. “ Hold on,” he said. “Maybe you are What I want.” “ If you want a good thing, I’m it,” .said the boy, “and you won’t have to push me along, either.” “ How much do you want?” “ I want a million, but I’ll take $3 a week." “ When cad you begin 't‘ ” “ This very minute, if you'll give me my supper. I haven’t had anything to eat for threeweeks.” “ Nothing to eat for three weeks l" exclaimed the proprietor. “ N-nhing fit. I've scraped along as I could. but. I haven’t had a square meal, with pic on the side.” “ All I'lL’ht. You shall have your supper. And where will you sleep? " " Oh. I won’t sleep at all. I’m going to stay awake of nights when I ain’t busy, so's [ can feel how good it is to have a job and get money in my clothes. Hully gee, there’s a kid out there try- ing to get away with a piece of lead pipe. Let me crack him once.” and the new employee dashed out after the of- fender. - His Remedy. The other day a little stenographer in a down town ofliee begged some “workmen who were putting up a new telephone not to place it so high on the wall as they were doing. “You see," she said, |‘I have to use it as much as any one, and I am so short that I can hardly reach it." “Oh, well, miss,” said the humorist in charge of the work. “ you can raise your voice, can’t you ?” o...â€"â€"â€"â€"â€"â€" “ Are you the defendant in this case ? ” asked tlie‘jiidge, sharply. “Nofi‘s'il‘l‘lflianswered the mild-eyed prisoner. "I has a lawyer llll‘cd ter do do defendin’. I ’5 dc man dat done ch dc ahtieles." ASSORTMENT OF ‘ I-Iorse Blankets, Trunks and. Valises AT NEVISON’S HARNESS SHOP. Collars Warranted. Agent for Pianos and Organ Get Your Millinery NOW. Prices away down, as goods on hand must go to make room for a large and beautiful stock of millinery which will be to hand in the space of a week. ' Mrs. J. A. MacDougall. Fickle Fashion’s Fleeting Fancies, to those who would follow faithfully in her footsteps, are frequently a source of bewildermentâ€"sometimes of annoyance. Few there are who do not to some extent pay attention to the changes of fashion. The contour of the fashionable figure has undergone a. decided change during the past few months. The tight sleeve has been found wanting, and we are returning to the full sleeve again. So our head dress- maker informs us, and she keeps thorough- ly posted. We are always up-to-date and a few days ahead. . If you want anything in the dressmaking line you will find that your chances of be- ing suited here, both as to fit, finish, style and price, are as good as elsewhere. Prices for cutting and fitting away down. Our reputation for promptness and satisfaction in this branch merely requires that we call your attention to it. Remember, you are not trying an experiment when leaving your goods and order here. MRS. M. E. CALDER. Over Mr. Geo. McGee’s hardware store. Newest Styles To Dairy Farmers. Lowest Prices IN Furs, Ladies’ Goats, Dress Coeds, and. Pine Millinery. est Fitting Jacket in Town, at W. CAMPELL’S. The Alpha Disc De Laval Cream Separ- ator took the Grand Prize at the Paris Ex‘ position, and is used by all leading dairy- men throughout the Province. Can be seen at the implement shed of the under- signed, who has been appointed sole agent for this district. JOHN NORTHEY, Colborne St. Fenelon Falls, Sept. 27th, 1900. Good Furniture Is always cheap furniture in the long run. Looks better. Wears better. Gives better satisfaction. I have the best and largest stock of furniture of all kinds, from the best manufacturers in the province consisting of -â€"â€"D1NING ROOM FURNITURE ~BEDROOM SETS â€"-EASY CHAIRS, -â€"ROCKERS, -â€"LOUNGES, ~SIDEBOARDS, â€"â€"SPRINGS AND MATTRASSES, â€"KITCHEN FURNITURE (all kinds,) The SELLING OFF. ‘ As I wish to close up my business in Fenelon Falls as soon as possible, all the goods in the store will be sold REGARDLESS of COST. This is an opportunity to obtain great bargains of which all should avail themselVes. Come to the Special Sale on Saturday. is. NEWSON. M TillS. GRO CERIES DEPARTMENT. We desire to call your attention to the following line or goods, just received: Choice Cleaned Currants; Choice Seeded Raisins, one pound packages (East Brand); Fine Filiated Currants; Seected Valencia Raisins; Sultana Raisins. A full stock of Crosse & Backwell’s Peels; ngt-shell Almonds; Shelled Grenoble \Val- nuts; Shelled Almonds. CROCKERY DEPARTMENT. Toilet and Dinner Sets. For the next two weeks we will offer special value in these goods; also a large stock of Fancy Goods, Lamps etc. BOOT AND SHOE DEPARTMENT. A full line of the best goods and latest styles money can buy. ‘ READY-MADE CLOTHING DEPARTMENT. Call and see our Men’s, Youths’ and Boys’ Suits, also a nice line of Ulsters and Overcoats. These are only a few of the lines of new goods just placed in stock. You are invited to take a close look through the stocks and compare prices whether you buy or not. Our 25c. Tea is immense value. cos. threatens. and prices are away down. Repairing and all ordered work promptly attended to. RE?” Undertaking in all its branches. L. DEYMAN. r1?- NEEB N31" GO To Montreal or New York for choice patterns or low prices in WALL PAPER. We have them here now for your selection. ononwau’s, Lmnsnv, NEXT T0 SIMPSON HOUSE. iiilllilii llllS Ellllll is printed every Friday at the office, corner May and Francis Streets. SUBSCRIPTION 1 $1.00 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE, or one cent per week will be added, as long as it remains unpaid. â€" Ad vertising Rates. Professional or business cal-d3, 50 cents per line pcrannum. Casual advertisements, 8 cents per line for the first insertion, and 2 cents per line for every subsequent inser- tion. Contracts by the year, half year or less, upon reasonable terms. .JOB PRINTING executed neatly, cor costly and at moderate prices. E. D. HAND, Proprietor I NIGHTS OF TENTED MACCABEES Diamond Tent No. 208. Meets in the True Blue hall in McArthur’s Black on the first and third Tuesday in each month. CHAS. Wise, Com. 0 W. BURGOYNE, R. K. ANADIAN ORDER OF ODDFELLOWS Trent Valley Lodge No. 71. Meet in the Orange hall on Francis street west on the first and third Mondays in each month R. M. MASON, N G. J. T. THOMPSON Jn.. Sec. O. L. No. 990. MEET IN THE ORANGE . hall on Francis-St. West on the second Tuesday in every month. J. J. NEVISON, W. M. Tnos JOHNSTON, Rec-Sec. “â€" INDEPENDENT ORDER of FORESTERS. Court Phoenix No. 182. Meet on the last Monday of each month, in the True Blue hall in McArthnr’s Block. R. DoonAnTr, Chief Ranger. SAMUEL ELLEnv, R. S. .ANADIAN ORDER OF FORESTERS Fenelon Falls Lodge No. 626. Meetsy in theztminge Hall on Francis street west on the first Thursday of each month. Tune. Jov, Chief Ranger, P. DEYMAN, Sec. ‘lANADIAN HOME CIRCLES. FENE LON Falls Circle No. 127, meets in the True Blue hall in McArthur’s Block first Wednesday in every month. the P. C. BURGESS, Leader. _ R. B. Svtvnsrsn, Secretary. N F. AND A. M., G. R. C. THE SPRY . Lodge No. 406. Meets on the first Wednesday oi each month,on or before the full of the moon in the 10d . Cunningham’s Bléck' ge room m H. H. GRAHAM, W. M. REV: W. Fansconm, Secretary CIIURGIâ€"IES. M BAPTIST CHURCHâ€"QUEENT ST REV .W. T. Roberts, Minister. Preaching servrces every Sunday at 1030 a. m. and m. Bilge Class and Sunday School at . p. m. raise and ' ' - -‘ Thursday at 8 p. m. pm) 01 sewlce' on -._\______ DEETHODIST CHURCH â€"â€" COLBORN Streetâ€"Rev. R. H. ' Sunday service at 10.30 gaming. Sabbath School at 2.30 p. m. Eptfortli League of Christian Endeavor evening at 8 o’clock. P , ’l‘hursdayeveningat 7.30. N T. ANDREW’S CHURCHâ€"COLBORN’E Streetâ€"Rev. R. C. H. Sinclair, Pas- tor. Servxces every Sunday at 10.30 a. m and 7 p. 111. Sunday School every Sunday at 2.30 p. m. Christian Endeavor meeting every Tuesday at 8 p_ m. Pr , every Thursday at 7.30 p. m. ayer meeting N ALVATION ARMY â€" BARRACKS ON I“Font; St. Westâ€"Capts. Bftl‘kel‘dfi Dar- ' '1. ervtce ever Thursda ‘- urday evenings at 8);). y and sat at 7 a. m., 11 a. m., 3 p. m. and 8 p. in. W T. ALOYSIUS R. C. CHURCHâ€"LOUIS S Streetâ€"Rev. Father O’Learv, Paslofi Sci-Vices every alternate Sunday at 10.30 a. In. Sunday School every Sunday at 2 p. m \N T. JAMES’S CHURCHâ€"BOND STREET Eastâ€" Rev. Wm. Farncomb, Pastor, Servrce every Sunday at 10.30 a. m. and 7 p. m. Sunday School every Sunday at 2.30 p. 111. Bible class ever Th . at 7.30 o’clock, y “rSday evening M. "“_" . Seats free in all churches. Everybody mmtcdlo attend. Strangers cordially welcome}! “kw MISCELLANEOUS. \ _ URL [0 LIBRARYâ€"PA TRICK KELLY, Librarian. Open dail Sunda ' ed, from 10 o’clock a. m. 10 p.‘ininl3coed)lis exchanged on Tuesdays and Saturdays from POST-OFFICEâ€"F. J. KERR, POSTMAS- ter. Open daily, Sundays excepted from 7 30 a. m. to 7 p. in. Mail going sontli closes at 7.35 a. m. Mail going north closes at 11.25 a. m. Letters for registration must be posted half an hour rev‘ . 0 time for closing the mails. p 1 us to the w. M‘ W*% NEWSPAPER LAW. 1. A postmastcris re nired to ' ‘ by letter (returning (lire papef'ddegoiizt answer the law), when a subscriber does not take his paper out of the office and state the reasons for its not heingltaken Any neglect to do so makes the postmaster responsible to the publisher for payment. . 2. If any person orders his paper discon- tinued he must pay all arrearagos or the publishedmay continue to send it until payment 13 made, and collect the whole amount, whether it is taken from the office or not. There can be no legal discontinu- ance until the payment is made. 3. Any person who takes a m - the post-office, whether direcicdpelohlii: name or another, or whether he has sub- scribed or not, is responsible for tho pav 4. If a subscriber orders his paper to. be stopped at a certain time, and the ‘pnb- llsher continues to send, the subscriber is bound to pay for it if he takes it out of the post-olfice. This proceeds upon the ground that a man must pay‘t‘or what he uses. 5. The courts have decided that refusing to take newspapers and periodicals from the post-office, or removing and lecvmg them uncalled for, is prz'ma fucz‘e ev‘ _ _ , ide c of intentional fraud. n e m., and on Sundays ,3 SJ , . 6qu .,_fl........ we“ . . .. _ -varwvw.‘