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W . .___._..-.._. Taming the Tables. -'A STORY ABOUT JONFS AND THAT WXLL BE uELirllH). q Science‘has not yet di~ctnort E v" wt or the creature known as the {rt-tie joker belongs to the genus hen." or t. ‘ the genus Simla. In appearance 'e r. - wmbles the former. while hi~ aetim-sl are those of the latter. In the ease in Dobbs,so pronounced was his in mizt I'm joking that his closest friends lilr‘iiknew what to make of him; but, Sine:- his experience with Jones. lmpes are cu- trrtaincd that. he is at la.~t htgit nine to see the error of his way. and may ulti- mately reach a point in his develop- ment where there will be no tluubt ol the tract that he belongs to the human family. It appears that one of Dobi-s' most cherished antics was to up; roach a friend on the street from behind and then softly twitch his pocket. as though feeling for his purse. Of course the friend Would finally feel the twitching. clap his hands on the pocket, and turn upon the supposed tltiefwith a kindling rye and excited demeanor; and then .ltobbs would laugh heartily and tho- roughly enjoy himself. One day he tried this joke on his intimate friend. Jones. A near-by policeman, who was not acquainted with the nature of the case. rushed up just as Jones halted wildly and whirled about with blood in his eye. Dobbs’ joyons laugh was cut. short by the policeman, who laid a hand .on his shoulder and remarked to Jones: “ He was trying to rob you, sir; I raw the whole affair.” " Nonsense l ” returned Dobbs; “it’s only a joke. This gentleman is a friend of mine." , But Jones never cracked a smile. “ Is that. a fact. ?” asked the police- man, appealing to Jones. " Why," returned Jones, by a happy impulse, “I never saw the scoundrel before! Run him in l ” “ That‘s what I will, sir,’ returned the blue-coat, taking a. tighter grip on Dnbbs, and starting; for the patrol-box. " He’s a pretty neat graiterâ€"cvidcntly an old hand at the business.” “ Look here, Jones,” cried Dnbbs, what do you mean? Why, this is an outragcl Let me go, officer ! " “ Not on your lifel If you don't stop pullin’ away I'll give you a taste of my club. Oh, you‘re a fine bird. You’ve got gallows written all over your face.” This was all Jones could stand. and he broke away frotn the rapidly collret- ing crowd. and had a quiet laugh by bimselfaround the corner. As for poor chbs, he was carted off to the station and tiltintatcly bailed out. , Before the matter proceeded farther, Jones called at police head-quarters, explained the situation, and the case was wiped off the calendar. It was some titnc before Dobhs could bring himself to speak to Jones; but at last. they met on the street and Dohbs presented his cigar- oasc, inviting Jones to help himself to a l’crfeeto. 'l‘hcn, together, they whifi'ed the smoke of peace. For a wonder, the cigar wasn't loaded. 7 o-- lt Didn’t Freeze Her. _â€" A freckle-faced girl stopped at the post-office and yelled out : -‘ Anything for the Murphy's ? " “ No, there is not." -‘ Anything for Jane Murphy ? ” “ Nothing." “ Anything for Ann Murphy ?’ 1. NH." 1 ? ” *‘. l ' ' g for Tom Mur 1 A gti’ylt'lnno p y " Anything for Bob Murphy ? " “ No, not a hit." “ Anything for Terry Murphy ? " ~" No. nor for Pat Murphy, nor Den- nis Murphy, nor Peter Murphy, nor Paul Murphy. nor for any Murphyâ€" tlnml, living. unborn. native or foreign. niri'fiizeti or uneivilized, savage or bar. , barons. male or fenutle. black or white ‘ traut-his-ntl or di<lrnnclii<ed naturalized or otherwise. No, there is positively ttoz‘tinr: for any Murphy's, either indivitl u -i‘:_\', jointly. severally. now and forev- \ t, the and inst-parable." 'i‘he girl looked at the post-master in astonislttnunt, and said : " Please look ll 'lll‘i': ' Sail. Pt w ~-r' 2H" VHtY MANY HOUSEHOLD t'.~~> t F THIS ARTICLE. (in fit in min fabrics will not fade 5 in .~t.l»~xqt,c ' w firing if placed in boil- . it-g untt-r m -\ l.ll'l\ has been added three gills o‘” ~alt 1H t'\'I'l'V four quarts of wat- er. Do nnl n-muve the cloth until the \ant‘t‘ i» t'nlal Window LIL-us. lamps, marble and storm raw-s or nut-ties are quickly clean- ed if ruhhntl wit" ~alt slightly dampen- t‘fl ;\ ll‘:l~fitttu;f.lll of Hill in a (mill-Oil lanm tnakc< th-- wick burn brighter and give a r-‘o-rv‘ ligl-t, Freda i- 1; make on carpets and table clrdlw cm in rnurnvcd by repeated ap- plicatirmsnflvw salt Carpets are fresh- cned and colors brightened if wiped with clean cloth: wrung from salt Water. Coarse salt sprinkled occasionally around the edge of oat-pots is a moth destroyer. Ink stains aro removed from gingham by saturating them with sweet milk. then covering with salt. Salt and lemon juice will remove mildew. Soak brooms occasionally in hot salt water; they _will be softer, less brittle and wear longer. Heat salt ten minutes in a very hot oven. Crush fine and sift through a wire sieve. Store in a covered box in a dry place, and it will not cake. This is preferable to mixing cornstarch with it, which thickens delicate dressmgs and soups. Bedroom floors may be kept cool and fresh by wiping them daily with strong salt water. Microbes, moths and other pests are thus destroyed. Salt and cnmphor in cold water is an excellent disinfectant in bedrooms. Cleanse rattan. bamboo and willow work with a brush and saltwater; then rub dry with a soft cloth. Floor mat- ting will be more pliable and less brit- tle if occasionally washed with salt wat- er: Wash chamber ware with cold salt water instead of warm soapy water. To remove egg stains from silvor, rub gently with a damp cloth sprinkled with fine salt. Salt on the. hands will prevent fowls and fish from slipping during the process of dressing. Salt dissolved in alcohol or ammOnia will remove grease spots. An exrcllont application for a sprain is the well-lioaten whites of three eggs mixed with three scant. teasponnfuls of salt. A plaster of the yolk of an egg thickened with salt applied to the seat of acute pain will often relieve. Add salt to the water in which black Cotton goods are washed to prevent fad- ing and Inrniutr brown. Rub rough flat irons over p-vprr thickly sprinkled with salt. Tmmon juice and salt will remove stains from t‘ e hands. Do not use soap itumodiatnlr thereafter. When rank vegetables, cabbage. on- ions. etc. have been cooked, to prevent odors from clinging to pot or pan, put. a littlo salt. on a hot stove and int'ert the vessel over it. a few minutes. Stains on table warn and tea discolorations are re- moved with damp calt. A dull or smouldering fire may be cleared for broiling bv throwinstr 0V0!“ it a handful ofsalt. If salt is thrown on any burning substance it checks the blaze. but if sprinkled over coal makes it burn brighter, last longer. and there are fervor clinkers. Silt thrown on coals when broiling fat will prevent blazing from the drip- ping fat. When Contents of pot. or pan flow over, or are spilled. throw on salt at once. It will prevent. a disagreeable odor. and the stove or range may be more easily cleaned. Feathers or plumes straightened by damn weather or exposure to rain may be t-t-jtiVCnated by shaking them over a shovel of hot coals sprinkled with salt; Fire. is soon extinguished ifspraynd rr splashed with the following solution: 'l‘en pounds of salt. five pounds of am- monin, and three and a half or four gril- ions of water. This should be tightly corked and kcnt in store where there is special danger from fire. To clean black and burnt spiders or kettles, boil in them nlittle salt and vinegar, then scour vigorouslv with an iron rlichcloth. Copper attd brass may be brightened hya vigorous rubbing 5 with n slice of' lemon dipped in salt. it‘ there, is au‘y‘ihiu: for Clarence Mur- l FWZM VP'INfll‘lC-q 3"0 “55 lml'lm‘e‘l if pity.” _ - __.. .0 ...-... _ .-.. Wisdom in the Jury Box. Court Ulrika-Gentlemen of the jury, knew you :\ tt'N‘l upon :1 verdict? Foietnat.â€"‘\\'e have. Clerkâ€"Whit say you': do you find tlze prisoner at the bar guilty or not I’ I. INiruumn-u-ch d”. (ll 't’k â€"‘Y't|l tln ? DJ “‘ltul f w.» find the prisoner at guilty or not guilty. plain . placed at once in a Cold salt water bath and loft in a warm place to thaw. if the cook at any time gets a dish too sweet to suit the taste. a pinch of salt is n onrrcr‘tix’t‘ and vice versa â€"S:tralt E . ll't'lcoz in (he Conan-y Gentleman. _-.__..â€"â€".-o-- If a few slices of bacon are placed in the pan with a piece of lamb that is to sing,” . , ho roast \vl they will greatly improve the flavor of the grarv. When shaking rugs or mats that are we b“- ; small enough to be done with the hands. l always hold them by the middle at the l '. . . . (“ark â€"Bat. gentlemen, you most or ‘ 5‘ l” "“l ""l l" ill“ “"19: f‘" by the latter handling the corners will soon be made to whip out and the fringe or bind- l’nronttvxaâ€"Ui' course. You see. six i n m r“, n“. ..: u< find Lint guilty. and six of us find . "' ’ ' . him .ot "itiltv and we've screedâ€"toE Tl" dull" or“ burp“ 0' dre‘g" , , A, m a: ,mz,‘ ° t that runs hard may be made to work (" ' ‘l I. l touch more smootth and easily ifit is . .. .-.. _.__. taken out and the. edges thorou2hly rub V I V . . hn-"adâ€"‘ll ill. old man, did the d00- b”, “m, hard map. H“ mm," ,5 mm, ‘m i ‘ "‘“i W"? , ed before being put into hard wood ll. 0 InvaltdéYes, of twenty dollars. will go in much more cusilf.‘ RED cross; BARGAINS.__ For the balance of this month we will sell our stock of at these low prices: Men’s Fine Tweed Overcoats, regular price $6.50, for $4. Men’s Fine Worsted Overconts, black and brown, regular price $58, for $5.o0. )Ien’s Heavy Ulsters, regular $7.50, for Boys’ Overcoats, regular price $4 and $5, for $3.25. Every one of these is A SNAP. Our stock is too heavy and they must be cleared out. _ Men’s Heavy Ribbed Shirts and Drawers, regular $1.20, for 750. a suit. WIBURGOYNE - THE RED STORE. é.‘ SPECTAGLES ! SPECTACLES l. Mr. F. J. KERR, Post Office Book Store, has been appointed solc agent for the sale of the Lazarus celebrated Spectacles and Eye-glasses. These spectacles are recomâ€" mended by all the leading medical men and clergymen of the present day. I fit glasses by the latest methods. 30c. upwards. Post Office Book Store, Fenelon Falls. JOB PRINTING Neatly and promptly executed attire GAZETTE Office. Prices reasonable. Price from PHGWEEEPHS. “ 0 l wad some power the giftic gie us To see oorsels as ithcrs see us.” The above wish is easily realized by having your photos taken at. STANTONfS STUDIO. Will guarantee all work equal to the best city work,and prices to suit the times. Family groups a. specialty. Give me. a'call. Life size work in the best style of the art. at moderate prices. J. H. STANTON, , Photographer. Fenelon Falls, July lst, 1897.â€"-2i.52 Furniture, awmwaflgg FRANCIS ST. WEST, FENELON FALLS. ETILL Another consignment of those valuable presents with each pound of Art Baking Powder just received at Wall Paper, Paints and Gila, Glass and . Putty. M”- If you want the best in the above lines call at . . . ' cvison’s Bazaar. ... ‘-._â€"W ‘ » cw DIRE'CT 332* V _.._......- .. -_.... - .._..._â€"....sâ€"â€"â€"-__._._.â€".â€"-â€"-â€"â€" .-€()CII‘.'I‘I ICS. I’NIGHTS 01" 'l‘EXl‘l-ID .\l:\t‘C.\llRES. & Diamond Tent No.208. Meets in the True Blue hall in .\le.-\r'hur‘s lil- ck on the first and third Tuesday in eneh ,month. ll. 1-} ;\l‘ST1\,Ct'm. C. W Buttons. R K. Al‘ldi LEAF Tlil'E BLUE liltlltil‘l No 1 4‘.’. Regular meetings held on the 2nd and 4|h “'edne-tlny in t‘tll‘ll month. Hall in .‘lt‘Arthnt‘s liloek. H. E Al‘s 13'. Master J A. l’. UKEAIN. ltt-pnty .‘ilustcr. RORERTJ DISMMS, Ree-Secretary. lANADlAN ORDER Ul 0D1)l51{1.l.0\VS I ‘l'rt ul Valley l.Ull re No. 71 .\.-t-t in the True lllne bull in lit-Arthur's liluek on the first and third .\1o: tl'l)‘.\‘ in enel mouth. Wat. licliaewx. N t: R. .\1. .\1.\sox, V. 3.. See. I O. L. No. 906. MEET 1.\' THE ORANGE J. hall on Francis St Weston the second Tuesday in every month. stts Darius. W. M. J. '1‘. THOMPSON, Jtt., Rec-Se c NDEPENDENT ORDER of FORESTERS. Court l’htunix No.182. Meet on the last Monday of each month, in the True Blue hall in .lleArlhnr‘s Block. '1‘. Acsrm, Chief Ranger. Ilsttusu'r SANDFMII), R. S. CANADIAN HOME CIRCLES. FENE LON Falls Circle No.127. meets in the True Blue. hall in flit-Arthur's Black the first Wednesday iii-every month. P. C. llunuuss, Leader. 1 V It. B.brt.vssrt~;tt, Secretary. F. AND A. lll., G. R. C. THE SPRY . Lodge No.406. Meets on the first Wednesday of each tuontli,ou or before the full of the moon, in the lodge room in Cunningham's Block. E. Frizctcuam, W. .\l. REV. W. Faua‘enun, Secretary M-._-_ m..- _.> cc . C I unsettle . BAPTIST OilURCHâ€"QUEENâ€"S’l‘.â€"Ill£\'. , James Fraser, Pastor. Service evorr Sunday morning at 10.30. Sunday Schotil every Sunday at 2.30. p. m. Pl‘tl\.(‘l‘ meet- ing on Thursday erening nt7.30 ; Minister’s Bible-class on Tuesday (titrtniglttly) at 7.30. NiE’l‘IIODlST CHURCH â€"â€" ('OldlollNE _ , Streelâ€"Reverend 'l‘. 1’. Steel. l’uslnr. Sunday service at 10.30 a. In. and 7 p. m. Sabbath School at 2.30 p. m. lipworth League of Christian Endeavor, Tuesday evening at 8 o'clock. l’rttycr meeting oit Thursday evening at 7.30. ST. ANDRE“ "S CllURGHâ€"(‘OLRORNE Streetâ€"Reverend .‘ll. illchiunon, Pus- tor. Services every Sundny at 10.110 n. m. and ’i p m. Sunday School everi Sunday at 2 30 p. m. Christian Endeavor meeting every Tuesday at 8 p. in. l’tnrer meeting every 'l'hursdny all 730 p. tn. I C3DlLVATll)N ARMY -â€" BARRAtf‘KS UN l: Bond St \\"est-â€"(.‘npt.a Mrs .llctjlt-llnnd. bet'vtec held every Thursday llllll Sat- urdFay evenings at 8 p tn., and on Suntlats at t n. tn., II n. in , :1 p. in. and 7.3! p. ui. ST.ALOYSIUS R. C (HlURllllâ€"l.0UlSA ‘ Slreelâ€"llev. Father Nolan, Pastor. Servrces every alternate Sunday at 10.30 a. m. Sunday School everySnuthiy at '3 p. in lT. JA ill ES’S (,‘llURUllâ€"RUND S'l‘lll'll'l'l' U lanst â€"â€"- Rev. Wm. l"nrneomh, l’astor. ucrvrcr every Sunday at! i0.110 n. in. and 7 p. m. Sunday St-hnol th-ry Sunday at l l .110 a. tn. Bible class ever ' ’I‘hurstln ' cven'u at7 o’clock. ) I) l g r~ . y a V l w _ hears frcc tn all c/mrclmx. Iz'tw-yfmn’z/ zltvtlcdlo attend. Strangers coro’iollt/ u'elcomnl. MISCchLAi§71g('-)h ,5: he ~__-. my- )Ulllilll‘ldllRARYâ€"l’ATRIClC KELLY lnhrntinn. Open daily, Suntlnr except: ed. from 10 o’elnek a. tn. till 10 pdtn Books exchanged on Tuesdays and Saturdays from 12 um. till 3 p. m. and in the evr-nitig from 7 to 9. Reading room in rennet-lion. ' 081:0lfl’ICEâ€"l“. J. KERR, l'(lS'l'l\l/ll"< Tialt. (Jlliee hours from 7.31511. m. to 8 p. .‘lluil going south t-lt-svs n18 a. m .llutl going tiorth closes at 2 11.5 p.111. NEWSPAPER LAW. i. A postmaster is required to give notire by letter (rt-turning the ltllltt‘l' tit-ca not answer the law), when n. :tilN-tiht-r does not take his paper out of the Ullllff' and state the rt-nsons for its not heingtaken. Any neglect to do so makes the postmaster responsible to the publisher for pm tnI-nl. ‘ 2. if any person orders his paper. (llnf‘Ull' tinut-d he must [my all llrl“'fll'lll_’t'.t, or the, publisher may continue In stud it until payment is made. and eollect the whole amount, wheth r it is tnlmn l'rt tn the affine or not. 'l‘here run be up legal discontinu- Llltjl: until the payun-nt is mmle, It. Any person who takes It paper from the port-(tiller, whether din-rim! In hm name or another, or whether he has Nth. scribed nr not. is real Ullrillll‘ lor the pin, 4. H n subscriber orders his paper to. in- stuppt-tl at it wrtnin Hue, nwl tl-e 'pnh- lulmr cantinur-s to send, the :-ttl;.’~t‘1ll1t’.'r is bound to pay for it if he lulzea it out of the post-onion. This [:I‘Ut'l‘t‘lls upon the ground that it man must it «y for wt at he uses, 5. The courts have decided 'lnt H fusing to take new-.pnp-rrs and It’rl-l‘liil'Hl" fr-m the pod-ullit'e, er removintr nml leaving them uncalled for. its prime mt: evident: of intentional fraud. LOT FOR SALE. The west half of Lot No. .‘1. south of Bond and west of Unllmrtu- alreel, Fettelon Fully, containing n quarter ofur. acre. For terms, etc.,apply to HRS, krill”. Litiqu um}. ,â€"-l21f .. .._.._...._..‘ ,.__.... -.......... l ,. l l 1 t