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a WWWâ€"W Han Instrnrsrs. a Poetic Family. Elijah Brown, the cobbler, was enamored of the muse, And all his time was given up to stanzas and to shoes. He scorned to live a tuneless life, inglori- ously mute, And nightly laid his last aside to labor at his lute, For he had registered an oath that lyrical renown Shauld trumpet to the universe the worthy name of Brown. And though his own weak pinions failed to reach the height of song, His genius batched a brilliant scheme to . help his oath along, And all his little youngsters, as they nu- merously came, He christened after poets in the pantheon of fame, That their poetic prestige might impress them and inspire A noble emulation to‘ adopt the warbling lyre. And Virgil Brown and Dante Brown and ’l‘asso Brown appeared, And Milton Brown and Byron Brown and Shakespeare Brown were reared. Longfellow Brown and Schiller Brown ar- rived at man’s estate, And Wordsworth Brown and Goldsmith Brown filled up the family slate. And he believed his gifted boys, predes- tined to renown, In time would roll the bowlder from the buried name of Brown. But still the epic is unsung, and still that worthy name Is missing from the pedestals upon the hills of fame, For Dante Brown’s a peddler in the vege- table line, And Byron Brown is pitching for the Tus- carora nine. Longfellow Brown, the lightweight, is a pugilist of note, And Goldsmith Brown's a deckhand on a Jersey ferryboat. In Wordsworth Brown Manhattan has an estimable cop, And Schiller Brown’s an artist in a Brook- lyn barber shop. A roving tar is Virgil Brown upon the bounding seas, And Tasso Brown is usefully engaged in making cheese. . . 'l‘he cobbler’s bench is Milton Brown’s, and there he pegs away, And Shakespeare Brown makes cocktails in a Cripple Creek cafe. --Jolm. Ludlow in Syracuse Courier- ._ _'....__! . Wanted Ally-the frills. GOT THEM, TOO, AND PERHAPS HE WASN’T SO VERY THANKFUL. Of course it didn’t happen in Chicago. It happened in a town where they have fer.- ders on the fronts of their trolly carsâ€"fen- ders that are designed to pick up the in- cautious pedestrian, throw him up in the air two or three times, and then toss him over the platform railing. Of course they don’t do that, but that is what the agent always insists that they will do, and some of them look as if they might. Anyway the old fellow with the carpet bag evident- ly thought so. The was standing in the mid- dle of the track when the car came along, going at the rate ofa mile a minute or less and clanging its gong at a terrible rate. But. he didn’t move. Consequently there was nothing for it but to put on the brakes or take chances of having to defend a suit for damages. The car stopped within about two feet of him. “ Get out of the way i" yelled the motorâ€" man. “ Come on, consarn ye !” roared back the countryman. “ Get ofi‘ the track i” shouted the motor- mau, angrily. “Not much," retorted the countryman determincdly. “l‘m waitin’ for ye. Why don’t ye come on '2" “ Do you want to be killed '2” demanded the conductor, coming to the front of the car to see what was the matter. “ No slice,” returned the countryman. “ l want to git aboard yer blamed old car.” “ Well, Come on then,” said the conduct- or, indicating the step at the side of the platform, but the countryman only shook his head. ~'~’ Ye cant work it that way," he asserted doggedly. “ I’m down here to see the hull town, on yo bet I want all the frills. Come on an li’ist me now, and be quick about it." “ Il'ist you i" exclaimed the conductor. ‘- Are you crazy?" “No, Inint," was the indignant reply, ‘- but I reckon I know my business and can't be put upon by any dnrn streetcar man that lives. I’ve heerd all about yer luxurious way of doin thingsin the city, on while I have money in my pocket [’11) goin to have all the frills and tixiu‘s there are. Ye jest come ahead with that there scoop an pick me up an put me aboard jest the I way yc do fer swell city folks, or I'll report ye to the bOSs, ding me ifI don’t.” In another minute he was lying in the wire netting, yelling like a Comanche, while the our continued its journey, still at the rate of a mile a minute or lessâ€"Chicago .I‘ost. ..____ __.._. - . It must have been a very tender hearted butcher who killed this lamb,” said the cheerful idiot, pausing in the sawing of his chop. “ Why 1’" kindly asked the shoe clerk boarder. “ He must have hesitated three or four years before striking the fatal blow.” “ How do, Hung," said a Pueblo man to an Easterner, who had been here but a few months. ' 4‘ My name is Bacon, sir, if you please," i he replied. " Beg pardon, sir. i thought you were Mr. llogg, the invalid.” “ l was, but i have been cured.” ! 0- First Church Mouseâ€"We're not so poor i as people think. I Second Church Mouseâ€"Not much. They forget that some churches have ten meet- ings every week. “ It is true that he wears the uniform of, a soldier," said the doubting one, " but i 1 understand that he never has been in any real engagement." 4 “ What i" cried thv posted one. -'- Why, he has been sued twice for breach of prom~ he. Engagements? Well, I rather guess." I STILL AT THE FRONT with a well selected stock of Millinery, Wall Paper, Window Blinds, Fancy Goods, Stamped Goods, Materials for Fancy Work, Chinaware, Toys and Dolls. Eggs taken in exchange HIGH CLASS Headquarters at. the Iron‘Warchouse, Corner of Golborne and Francis Streets, Fenelon Falls. HUGH MCBOUGALL, AGENT, ' REPRESENTING Frost & Wood, Smith’s Falls. I Coulthard Scott Co., Oshawa. , Watson Mannracturing Co" Ayr. , Chatham Manufacttu'ing Co., Chatham. K Goold, Shapley & Muir 00.. Brantford. George White 3: Sons’ Co» London. Stephenson Electric Carri 3 works, anmngton. Cockshutt Plow Co., Brantford, and other leading firms in the latest specialties in farming implements. BRANTFORD STEEL GALVANIZED WINDMILLS, roller and ball bearings, thei best and most powerful mill in the market. which may be seen at Mr. Joseph Watson's, Somerville, Mr. John Cullis’s and Mr. John Willocks’, Fenelon, in operation. Ask thesr leading farmers their opinion before purchasing. Also the STEEL KING PUMPER and the famous MAPLE LEAF GRINDER. and terms on application. Prices WATSON FRICTION FEED TURNIP DRILL. PLANET JUNIOR CULTIVATORS. FROST 8: WOOD CULTIVATORS. COCKSHUTT PLOW CO. CULTIVATORS. STEEL and WOOD LAND DRUM ROLLERS. ~ Samples of a number of the leading machines in stock and will be pleased to show at any time. The new FORCE FEED BINDER is a marvel of simplicity, with improved roller bearings, and-is without a peer for lightness of draught and case in operating. See it. SPECIAL ATTENTION GIVEN T0 REPAIRS. nuns: Ee‘icQUGALL, Agent. runs. KEELEY. Furniture, BATTEN DOORS. \VIRE DOORS J. T. THOMPSON, Jr., CARPENTER. Jobbing attended to. Wall Brackets and Easy Chairs made to order. Workshop on Lindsay Street, Near the Ti. T. R. Station, Fepelon Falls. BtUTS, ShtES, RUB? YOU WANT THEM. WE HAVE THEMâ€"- GOOD- CHEAPJ CALL AND SEE. erases arena. THE WEST SIDE STORE. TRADE MARKS DESIGNS ' ‘ - ' COPYRIGHTS &c. Anyone sending a sketch and description may quickly ascertain our opinion free w ether an invention is probably patentuble. Communica- tions strictly confidential. Handbook on Patents sent free. Oldest agency for securing patents. Patents taken through Mono 5'. Co. receive special notice, without charge. in the Scientific itinerant. A handsomely illustrated weekly. Largest ctr. cuintion of any scientific ournai. Terms. $3 a year: four months, $1. So d byull newsdeulers. Iiilliiii & Bessemer New York Branch Office, 625 F St” Washington. D. C- , NEWSPAPER LAW. ' l. A postmaster is required to give notice by letter (returning the paper does not answer the law), when a subscriber does not take his paper out of the office and state the reasons for its not being taken. Any neglect to do so makes the postmaster responsible to the publisher for payment. 2. If any person orders his paper discon- tinued he must pay all arrearagcs, or the publisher may continue to semi it until payment is made, and collect the whole amount, whether it is taken from the office or not. There can be no legal discontinu- ance until the payment is made. 3. Any person who takes a paper from the post-office, whether directed to his name or another, or whether he has sub. scribed or not. is responsible for the pay. 4. It a subscriber orders his paper to be stopped at a certain time, and the pub- lisher continues to send, the subscriber is bound to pay for it if he takes it out of the post-office. This proceeds upon the ground that a man must pay for what he uses. 5. Tir- o: ."1; have decided that refusing to take 11v ~.~;..;w;'s and periodicals from the post- . or re-vuoving and leaving them one. i :‘or. .; y“! in r'uci'e evidence of intro! .. t in. I Boers, Sash, Qaml‘nfigg ST. WEST, FENELON FALLS. ERS. Lunarics N A RED ROOM. Mild cases of lunacy, melancholia, despondency, etc, have been cured by simply keeping the patient 111 a red room, without other treatment. Bright, cheerful apartment-s help to keep sane people sane, make them better able to work and bear trouble â€"make life worth living. DON’T GO GRAZY. Have those dingy walls brightened with new wall paper from Nevison’s Bazaar. You can get the_bcst. point. there too, ready mixed, for outdoors or indoors. WREST TH! ONTARIO WIRE FENCING 00., L11), Picton. Ontario. BEST AND THE CHEAPEST. reassurance FENCEMGS AND STETTEREGS Combine These Two Qualities. HO OTHERS DO. Hog Fencings at special low prices. All other varieties cheap. McMullen’s are the only GOOD Nettings sold in Canada. They i ure unequalled for poultry yards, trellises, lawn fences, etc. Ask your hardware merchant for McMullcn’S goods. If you cannot buy of him write to the lnanufitcturers at Picton, Ont, or to The B. Greening Wire Company, limited, Hamilton and Montreal, General Agents. James Cooper, Montr *nl, General Agent for Railway Fencin". , Buggies and Waggons Repaintecl and Repaired At S. S. Gainer’s Carriage Shop, next; door to ‘Kuox's blacksnnth shop. good material used. 0nd to none. Workmanship sec- S. GAINER. Only; DIRECTORY. -,~ SOCIETI‘IES. ' “L v c o " TNIGIITS OF TEN'l‘ED MACCABERS Diamond Tent No. 208. Meets in the True Blue hall in lit-Arthur's Block on the first and third Tuesday in each month. 'I‘nos. Jonxsrox. Com. t‘. W. lirnoovsn, R. K. .. .__ .. ... _ .. « \IAPIJ“. LEAF 'l‘lll'E RITE LODGE No i 42‘. Regular meetings held on the 211d and 4th \\'eduesd:ty in each month. llnll in McArthur's lilnck. J. A. Possum, W. M. F. Mctenlfe, D. M J. stvaxs, Rec-Secretory CANADIAN ORDER Ol’ ODDFELIATWS ) Trent Valley Lodge No. 71. Meet in the True Blue hall in McArthur‘s Block on the first and third Mondays in each month. Jonx Corr, N. G. R. M. Mason. Y. 8., See. A..- ._.. . .”._‘_. I O. L. No. 996. MEET IN THE ORANGE J. hall on FraueisSt. West on the second Tuesday in every month. Joux Arbors, W. M. 'l‘uos. AL’srix, Rec-Sec. INDEPENDENT ORDER of FORI'ISTI-IRS. Court Phtrnix No. 182. Meet on the last Monday of Ctltli month, in the True Blue hall in McArthur‘s Block. '1‘. Arsrix. Chief Ranger. Janus limv, R. S. CANADIAN IIOMI'Z CIRCLES. FENE LON Falls Circle No. 1'37, meets in the True liluc lrnll in McArthur's Bloek the first Wednesday in every month. 1’. C. llt'mncss, Leader. R. I). Svarsrnn, Secretory. A F. AND A. M., G. R. C. TIIE SPRY . Lodge No.406. Meets on the first Wednesday ofench mouth.on or before the full of the moon, in the lodge room in Cunningham’s lilock. II. II. GRAHAM, W. M. Rev. W. lianxconn, Secretary (31111330111353. BAPTIST CIIU lClIâ€"QUEEN-ST.â€"RE\' James Fraser, Pastor. Service every Sunday morning at 10.30. {Sunday School every Sunday at 2.30. p. in. Prayer meet- iug on Thursday cvruillg at 7.30 ; Minister's Bible-class on Tuesday (fortnightly) at 7.30. METHODIST CIIURCII â€" COLBORNE l Streetâ€"Rev. ll. ll. Leitch, l‘astor. Sunday service it t 10.30 a. m. and 7 p. m. Sabbath School at 2.30 p. m. Epworth League of Christinn Endeavor, Tuesday evening at 8 o‘clock. Prayer meeting or. Thursday evening at 7.30. ST. ANDREW’S CIIUIlClIâ€"COLRORNE Streetâ€"Reverend M. McKinuon, Pus- tor. Services every Sunday at 10.30 a. m. and 7 pm. Sunday School every Sunday at 2.30 p. m. Christian Endeavor meeting every Tuesday at S p. m. Prayer meeting every Thursday at 7.30 p. m. I SIALVATION ARMY -â€" BARRACKS 0N k Bond St. Westâ€"Ensign A. R. Savage. Service held every Thursday and Sat- urdny evenings at 8 p. m., and on Sundays at 7 u. 111., II n. m., 3 p. m. and 7.30 p. in. ST. ALOYSIUS R. C. CHURCHâ€"LOUISA Streetâ€"Rev. Father Nolan, l’nstor. Services cvcry alternate Sunday at 10.30 a. m. Sunday School every Sunday at 2 p. m ST. JAM ES’S CHURCHâ€"BOND STREET East â€"- ltcv. Wm. I’arucomb, l’nstor. Service every Sunday at 10.3011. m. and 7 p. m. Sunday School every Sunday at I Lilo a. in. Bible class every Thursday evening at 7 o’clock. . Smmfrrc in all allure/ms. It'irc/‘g/llrnlj/ mulcdlo ultmnl. Sh'unycrs cordially u'ult-u/m 1/. â€"â€" TVIISCIQLLALN 1201; :3. )L'liL[ChillltAltYâ€"l’A’l‘lthK KELLY Librarian. Open daily, Sundnt vxrcpt: cd. from M o’clock ti. tn. till 10 pin Hooks exchanged on Tuesdays and Snturdnvs from 12 :1.m. till 3 p. m. and in the cvrultiav' from 7.to 9. Reading room in Cotlilt‘clion.” 1305'1‘ ()l’l-‘IUI-Iâ€"l“. J. It'l‘lltli, l’tlS'l‘MAS 'I‘l'llt. (Iflicc hours from 7.1L? u. in. in p. tn. Mull going souili (:14 we at H a. in Maui gorng north closes at 2 12:3 p. ill. SECOND DIVISION COURT â€"0}"TllE-â€"- County 01' Victoria. o__. The next sittings of the nbovc Court will beheld in Dickson’s hull, I’cuclon Falls, ON TUESDAY, SEPT. 27th, 1898, commencingat 10 o’clock in the forenoou Saturday, Sept. 16th, will be the last day f service on defendants residing in this ounty. Defendants living in other conn- tie‘s must be served on or before S: pt. lath. S. NEVISON, Ii. I) . limo, Bailiff. Clerk Fenelon Falls, July 8th, 1898. .â€" The “ lenelon Fails Gazette" is printed every Friday at tie other, on the corner of May and Franc-is streets. SEBSCRII‘TION ST A TEA" IN .illi'.t,\t‘lf. or one cent per week will he added as long as itremains unpaid. Andvcrtiasiug 1hr tons. Professional or business cards, 50 fonts per line pernnnum. Casual mirertiscmcuts. 8 cents per line for the first insertion, and 2 cents per line for every tulisrqueut in:er~ tiou. Contracts by the year, half year or less, upon reasonable terms. JOB PRINTING of all ordinary kinds executed neatly, cor- nod: and at moderate prices. j E. D. i7 .30, "wpruwr