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humans BUEDlllll. CROSSING THE ATLANTIC WILL BE A MATTER OF THREE DAYS. ~â€" The New Turbine that: Will Performl Wenders- They are Expected to Trnve . are late orl’orty Miles an Hour. Two boats, each to travel at the amazing speed of forty-three miles an hour. and each capable of crossing the Atlantic in forty hours, are the latest projected marvels of marine engineer- ing. One, an ccean liner v of 10,000 horse-power, modeled after the now famous Turbinia, is being built aVVail- aendâ€"on-the-Tyne, London. The other, a torpedo boat of the latest improved design, is the invention of an Ameri- can. Mr. Planton, of New York. who has submitted his designs to the navy department, with every prospect that this boat will be accepted. This little war dog will surpass the speedy Tur- binia in the fact that she has twelve propellers on six shafts to the. Tur- binia's nine. While the latter is run on the turbine principle of direct steam propulsion the new torpedo boat will be run by electricity, the current running to each shaft from switches which allow all shafts to be run singly or collectively. Like the Turbinia, however, the power is direct, and can be run up to any required standard, developing the astounding burst of speed for which the boat is designed. Unlike the Turbinia, the propellers can be reversed in an instant. and the ves- sel be made to run full speed astern, with almost the same rapidity. ‘ That the ocean liner is no visionary total weight of other machinery, in- cluding turbines, auxiliary engines. condensers, boilers, propellers. shafts, :tanks, and the water in the boilers zwas twenty-two tons. Thus about 100 ihcrse power was attained per ton of 3machinery and nearly fifty horse pow- :er per ton of displacement. This beat all previous records. ; The new boats are being built by the Parsons Marine Steam Turbine com- pany. This corporation was formed last autumn for the purpose of deve- loping the new system. The company has a capital of $5,000,0000. A vast tract of riverside land was bought at ,Wallsâ€"end-on-the-Tyne, where ~enor- mous workshops have been erected. ’The first of the new boats was comâ€" Smenced late last autumn. She will gbe 200 feet long on the water line,with ta horse power of 10,000 which is on!y_a Elittle less than that of the Campania land Lucania. A board of officers from 3 the admiralty, including several of the ichief constructors of the British navy, linspected the frame and plans of this :boat a few months ago and at once 'ordered a duplicate built for use as a torpedo boat. These new turbine boats consume relatively very little coal. This gives them a larger steaming radius than any other ships afloat. _The figures already obtained about the two boats now being built by Mr. Parsons show that they will consume 15 per cent less coal than ordinary engines traveling at the same speed. As the vessels and lthe engines increase in size, so does this difference increase. The higher the tonnage and the larger the ship the greater is the superiority of the turbine to the ordinary engine in this respect - FUNNIGRAMS. .- (Heâ€"Oh, Miss Ethel, how can I ever tell you my love? She, wearily â€" You might try the long-distance telephone. Claribelâ€"They say he is worth half BOheme. but a “Hall-Commarad commer‘ a million, at the least! Matleaâ€"How cial venture, with the solidest kind of financial backing, is shown in the fact that the British admiralty, a very I should like to be his widow. Pa. what is a scheme. I can’t de- fine it, my son; but it is something conservative body, have ordered 0119 which [will fall through quicker than like her for their own'purposes, ' and she is now being constructed along- side the first one. Plans have already been drawn up for the formation of a giant transpori tation. company which, if the new boat proves a success, will at once order a fleet of the same. kind.*Simul- taneously there will be begun the construction of a submarine tunnel between Ireland and England, so that the point of departure of this surpris- ing line. HARBOR 0N AMERICAN SIDE. 0n the American coast the summer harbor is intended to be Hall’s bay, in Newfoundland. ':Between this place and the west coast of Ireland the run- ning distance, across the ocean is only 1,650 miles, or about half that between Liverpool and New York. At Hall's bay trains of Pullman cars will be in waiting for the new swift steamers. The new railroad construction which will be necessary to connect this place with the railway system already in existence will be comparatively slight. A tunnel from Newfoundland to the American continent, built on the same lines as the Irish tunnel, will probably be pushed through. . By means of this astonishing system, which is now attracting much attenâ€" tion in financial circles in London as the new boat at Wailsend is approach- ing completion, New York will be brought within a little over three days of London. \thn the new trans- Atlantic line is put into operation, as is now thought to be likely, you can eat your breakfast in New York on \Vednesday morning and take dinner in London the following Saturday even- ing. ihis new boat, which is expected to revolutionize the navigation of the world and bring London nearer in point of time to New York than New Orleans or Denver, is being construct- ed upon the turbine system of propul- sion. She is a development of the as- tonishing little Turbinia. which was invented by Hon. 0. A. Parsons, and surprised everybody at the great naval reviews year ago by her swiftness and novelty. She has no engine. She has three propeller shafts, each with three screws, nine screws in all. They en- ter the water at a slight downward slant, about twenty-five feet forward ofthc extreme stem. The screws are driven by a jet of steam direct from the boiler. (The jet of steam acts directly upon hundreds of small turbine blades, geared directly to the shaft. which is thus driven with amaz- ing rapidity. The Turbinia wasamere toy. weighing only forty-five and a half tons and measuring only 100 feet in length, with a nine-foot beam. She flow away from every vessel at Spit- hmd a year ago, leaving the fastest torpch ions of the British navy be- hind and she developed the wonderful speed of thirly-four and a half knots an hour. ' FORTEâ€"TWO MILES AN HOUR. This amazing record was, however, subsequently beaten by the Turbinia. She is reliably stated to have reached forly-two miles an hour. Exactly what her highest speed has been Mr. Parsons declines to say. Some of his friends however, assert that from who! they knew of the recent imprrr veinonls he has made in the tur- bine system of propulsion, and from the plans of the new boats. they will mike fifty. and possibly sixty. miles an hour. The Turbinia had 2.100 horse power. so that the two new boots will each be five times more powerful. The steam of the Turbinia was pro. duct-d by a waL-r tube boiler. The anything else on earth. Omensâ€"To snuff a candle out acâ€" cidentally is a sign of marriage. Yes, and to turn down a lamp intentionally is a sign of courtship. \Vhat is the difference between a donkey‘s tail and Hopkins? Give it up. A donkey’s tail is the end of an ass, but Hopkins is no end of an ass. In a Book Storeâ€"Have you a. book entitled Short Road to Wealth? Cer- tainly; and I suppose you’ll want a copy of the penal code, too? From a Novel.-â€"Adolar was bewitch- ed. Never had the Countess seemed to him so beautiful as at v this moment, when, in her dumb grief, she hid her face. - . Miss Adept, with friendly interestâ€" Been playing golf, eh? What did you do it in? Miss First-time-‘round â€" L’o lit in? Oh, my old black bicycle skirt and a shirtbwaiist. No, said the positive girl, I will never tie myself down to one man. Perhaps, he replied, sarcasticaily, if I OI‘ngllZB a syndicate you will consider our offer. Not a Society Topic â€" Rusher â€" Clarence made a dreadful break at the Noodleboodles' dinner. Miss Askins â€" What was it? Rusher â€" He asked il/Ir. Noodlehoodle what business he was in. Little Harryâ€"Pa, why do they call them stump speakers? Paâ€" ’Well, I guess it's because so many of them are stumped when you ask them to ex- plain where they got their figures. Profundity.â€"â€"Mr. Gizzley seems to be a very deep thinker, remarked the im- pressionable young woman. Yes, re- plied Miss Cayenne. He can’t talk five minutes without getting away be- yond his depth. At the Lawyers' Club. â€" Briefs â€" So Lawyer Sharkey got ten thousand dollars for his service in breaking old Hunnigan's will? How much of an estate did old Hannigan leave any- way? .‘Hailawâ€"Why, ten thousand dollars, of course! A Thorough Success. -â€" How about that Klondike mining company you were interested in about a year ago? I thought it was going to be such a big thing. It was :1 lig lhing. \i'e disposed of nearly $500,000 worth of stock. An Innovationâ€"Meeksâ€"My wife is nothing if not. original. Now what do you suppose she said. when I asked her to marry me? Weeksâ€"0h, something about its being so sudden, I suppose. Meeksâ€"No, indeed! She said, \Veil, I think it's about time; I've been ex; pec‘ting you to make a break for three months. Teacherâ€"Parse the sentence, Yucat- an is a peninsula. Pupil, who never could understand grammar,â€"Yucatan is a proper noun. nom'tive case, second person singularâ€"How do you make that out? First person Icatan. second person Yucatan. third person Hecatan; plural, first person \l'ecatan. second perâ€"â€"- Go to .vour seat! Looking into the Futureâ€"I guess I might as well quit school papa, said the boy. -\\'by. my son! Oh, there ain't any use going, except to be able to help my little boy when I grow up, and if they have changed the way of doing things since you were a boy so that you can't help me now, it's likely I'm just wasting my time getting ready to help my little boy. He got the help he wanted. but it was a good thing he didn't hear what his fn'lw had to say about newfangled school- books after he had gone to bed. ! E ll MAN'S HlllliE EXPERIENCE. “Maria.” observed Peter Grigwell to his better half, as he decapitated his second egg at the domestic breakfast table, "I suppose your strongly develâ€" oped feminine procllvities will not al- low of your foregoing, for once in a way, the delirious delights of ather- ough ‘spring cleanin'f" "If, Petsr,ln plain English.you mean that you wish me to shirk my duty as a British housewife by neglecting to clear away a twelvemonth's accumu- lation of grime and cobwebs, you sup- pose correctly," retorted Mrs. Grigwell in a dry, matter-ofâ€"fact tone of voice that ought to have silenced any aver- age man. But Peter had hécbme so acclimatized as it were, to hiszife’s very own style of oratory that it had ceased to imâ€" press him ever so slightly. “Twelve months’ accumulation!" he cried, in well-feigned astonishment. "\Vhy, I have always labored under the impression that the house was kept pretty clean, week in and week out." "Pretty clean, of course," returned Mrs. Peter, with asniff and toss of her head, "but the carpets are. not taken up weekly. (But perhaps you have been so absorbed in the considera- tion of weightier matters that you have failed to‘ notice such a detail as that." This was said in Mrs. G.'s most sarcastic vein, but it only elicited a gruff "Humphi", from her husband, so she returned to the charge with: "Then look at: the ceililngs. You cannot truthfully deny that they require whitening, and badly, too." “I suppose the process is inevitable," observed Peter. atrifle wearily. “No home complete without it, so to speak." "I should think not," exclaimed the lady in a ringing voice of triumph. “There is one thing I am fully de- termined upon, though," said Mr. Grig- well, calmly, "and that is, I am not going to be mulcted to the sametune as I was last year. Dasher's bill was a paralyzer. A few more like it would compel me to undergo the process of whitewashinsr myself." “What do you intend to do, then?" asked Mrs. Grigwell. in a voice as hard as the primest cut of beefsteak. “I intend," answered Peter, in a selfâ€"reliant ions, “to whitewash my- self." "Yes," observed Mrs.Grigwel1,sweet- lyâ€"bitter sweetly, in fact, “but who is going to whitewash the ceilings?” Peter gave his wife a penetrating glance, having a hazy notion that she was trying to get at him. as the saying goes, but as she bore his gimlet-like stare without flinching, he appeared satisfied, and said: "Yes, I am determined to distemper â€"they call it now in the billâ€"the ceil- ings entirely on my own., See?” Mrs. Grigwell felt the situation to be desperate, indeed, but knowing from experience gained in the past how utâ€" terly futile would any attempt be on her part to reason with the self opin- iated Peter. she determined to try the effect of ridicule. “Peter Grivwell,” she said, in her most withering manner. "you will surely never be quite such an idiot as to attempt to whitewash the ceilings of this house ?" "Madam," retorted Mr. Grigwell, grimly, "your remarks are in exceed- ingly bad taste, and ill become the wife of a far-seeing husband, whose sole in- tent is the welfare of his family, and to preserve them from being plundered by rapacious distempering demons." “You will find that your silly fad will cost you dear in the end," retort- ed Mrs. Grigwell, with a derisive laugh. "Bosh!" exclaimed Peter, hotly. “That's just the way! â€" but there, what's the use of arguing with a wo- man! Lemme see, toâ€"day is Wednes- day; I shall make astart with this room toâ€"morrow at 10 sharp. You hear, Maria, at 10 o'clock. Peter spent the remainder of the forenoon in getting together all the old newspapers in the house, and with the aid of a large lobster tin full of paste, a brush and a pair of garden shears, he fashioned from several of the broad sheets mysterious looking led herself, in cluded his toilet by placing on his massive (some called it fat) cranium a paper cap of the orthodox sugar loaf shape so much affected by grotesques of the sawdust. However. there was nobody present to see him, so what did it. matter! Up the handy pair of steps sprang Peter, bucket and brush in hand, and without unnecessary delay he made dash No. 1 at the ceilingâ€"which, by the way, he had forgotten should have first been water washedâ€" with the brush heavily charged with the beau- tifying mixture. The result was not quite as the amateur distemperer may have wished. A far greater percentage of the whiting descended in a thick shower on Peter’s paper dittoes than went on to the ceiling, to say nothing of sundry big splashes upon various parts of his upturned face, causing him to sneeze soviolentlyasto very nearly lose his balance and topple off the steps ignominiously to the floor. After ten minutes’ wild dabbing and splashing Peter thought he might as well assist exhausted nature by blow- ing the fragrant weed during work, just as though he were a real British workman. So he came down from his perch, found his beloved briar, chargâ€" ed it with some of Teddy's “Myrtle Grove" and lighted it with a British- made match. This latter be â€"British workmanlike â€"â€" dropped while still aflame on to his improvised paper drugget. No sooner had Peter again mounted his rostrum. than, glancing downward, he saw to his dismay the devouring element skimming along the floor. Downed scuttled the alarmed distem- perer with the intention of stamping out the blaze. But alas! in the excite- ment of the moment poor Peter forgot the nature of his improvised overalls. The next moment the tongues of the fiery serpents crawling on the floor had licked Peter's “readykma'des'l and he was soon frantically occupied in tearing off the paper covering and burning his hands to a rather "sul- phury" tune. ' The situation threatened to develop into something serious, as the fire had commenced to mount the walls. so Pet- er was reluctantly compelled to fling open the door and yell for assistance. Mrs. Gricwell rushed forth from the back regions, and, giving a wild look into the room, fled, screaming, to the street door, which she flung open, and then she proceeded ‘to shriek out: "Fire! fire! Police! police!" Suddenly a great commotion was heard in the front, the street door was thrown violently open and a brass- helmeted figure loomed faintly through the thick smoke which filled the entrance hall. The next instant a. shining copper tube was pushed forâ€" ward into the room, and before Pet- er could find brealh to tell the man who pointed the nozzle full at him that all danger was past he was almost off his feet byvapowerful jet of water which drenched him to the skin. However, he soon found his tongue sufficient to overwhelm the fireman in some choice vernacular that near- ly had the effect of starting the fire afresh. \Vith an injured look beneath his metal headpiece, the fireman threw down his hose and, going to the street door growled out to his colleagues outside: "Turn orf!" ‘ ‘ ’ The following day the professional “distemperers” came as heretofore. and at Christmas their little (i) bill will come to Peter Grigwell as usual. The house furnishers too, will benefit by Peter's laudable but misdirected ef- fort to economize. Taken altogether, Mrs. Grigwell's prophecy was pretty accurate. - â€".__ m_. GREATEST HORSEVVOMAN. The Baroness Von Rahden, who is at present astonishing all London with her remarkable equestrian feats, is the only child of a Russian banker, and was born at her father‘s country house near Riga 25 years ago, From child- hood she evinccd a great love for horses, and as the years rolled on she became an expert rider. 'When the Baroness was 18 years of age financial difficulties overtook her father, and pressure was used by her family to induce her to marry a weal- thy but somewhat ancient suitor. Rathâ€" er lhan submit, the highâ€"spirited girl determined to take her future'in her own hands, and secured an engageâ€" ment to ride in the circus at Moscow, much to the chagrin of her relations, commencing her professional career in 1891. 1 . " ii The Baroness, who has a wonderful influence over horses, soon distinguish- thc profession of her things bearing aweird resemblance to adoption, by completely subjugaling inordinately expa nsrve sleeves. Next morning Peter was up in good time, and set about mixing his white- wash in a zinc bucket, so as to be in readiness for his work as soon as break- fast was out of the way. By 10 o'clock the course was clear for Peter to com- mence his wrestle with the distemper business. lie, with calm politeness, re- quested that he might be left alone, as he required no assistance, and the whole thing would be done within an hour. Mrs. Grigwell gave her hus- band a pitying look, then silently left him to his own devious devices. Then Peter set *to work in desperate earnest. “‘ith anumber of newspap- ers he enshrouded the various artiâ€" cles of furniture; then spread a fur- ther quantity all over the carpet. Next he proceeded to invest the walls with the order of the paper collar, as one might. term it. All this done, Peâ€" ter looked around upon his handiwork, a smile of satisfaction meandering across his face as he did so. "Who said it was impossible to whitewash a ceiling without spoiling everything in the room?" he soliloquiz- ed. “I'll show 'em how it's done." The self-satisfied Peter then pro- ceeded to conceal his own rotund form with the mysterious paper combina- lions previously mentioned. Certainly his appearance was more that of acir- cus clown than of a respectable rate- paying citizen, especially when be conâ€" co at with be I loon-I'i kc roomy trousers, and an a most vicious horse that had lleon bought by the Director of the hippo- drome out of a racing stable after the brute had killed a groom. The Baroness owes her introduction to her husband to on accident. About four months after the. incident menâ€" tioned, the Baroness was performing in St. Petersburg and had arrived at her sensational finale on Czardas, where she makes the horse rear up and walk on his hind legs, she throwing herself right back until her head near- ly touches the horse‘s tail, when the animal over-balanced himself and fell backward. The Baron 050:11‘ Von Hah- den, aidâ€"de-camp to his uncle, line (ivo- ernor of Siberia, leaped into the ring with revere! other gcnllmnen, the Bar- nn being the first to assist the l’nlll-n artist. They were married four months later. Although the Baroness haslmnn the cause of no less than six duels and one tragic death she is entirely iron from blame in 1h" mailer, having livml :1 most ext-topiary life, and never has the breath of scon'lnl smirched her fair fame. The Barr-n died last October, :11 Brunswick, of heart disease, act-elem!» ed, doubtless, by the years of nervous tension which culminated in the shock- ing tragedy at Clcrmont-lr‘ermnd in August, 1894. when the Baron shot an infatuated Danish nobleman who hm] persislon'ly pursued the Baroness for two years, with his undesirable alien- !ions, and with whom the Baron had al- ready fought two duels. “7-1 EALTil;.. I HOW TO hIANlCU RE. Get a small bowl or finger glass and dissolve therein a small piece of purl 503? in some hot water. Then soak the finger tips for five minutes. wipe dry and then with a knife or an ivory manicure implement gently lousen the labjer of skin around the root of the nail so that it can be trimmed off with cuticle scissors, especially curved scisâ€" sors for the nail. and press the skin well back to distinctly show the half moon or "onyx." This may not be pos- srble at once, when the nails have been neglected. Still. two or three mani- cure treatments will show a marked improvement. With the ivory imple- ment remove any dirt from under the nails. Trim them oval shape wlth cuticle scissors. rub down any unevenâ€" ness wrth prepared toilet emery paper. then apply the nail powder. with a chamors polisher. Rinse the nails in warm water, wipe well and rub the nails again with polisher or with the palm of the hand. and do this after washing, which will serve to keep them polished. for a week. If the nails are brittle and dry, rub a little vaseline over them each night. Perfect cleanliâ€" ness is the greatest adjunct to beauty. but, for all that, do not wash your hands too often. \Vashed seldom but thoroughly they will keep in a far nicâ€" er condition than if they are continu- ously being "rinsed." as it were, which slmlpy serves to grind the dirt into the pores. When gloves are worn at night, be careful that they are per- fectly clean inside. otherwise the grime and dirt are absorbed b ' the overâ€"heat- ed glands and the effect is opposite from what was desired. FOR A PERFECT NECK. A perfect neck is not often seen. The shoulders may be well rounded and the skin white and fine. and yet ugly hol- lows and distinct shadows of collan bones completely spoil the contour. This can all be remedied. and that easily. Let any girl who has such a neck try the effects of gymnastics fifteen min- utes every night and morning for a. month. The result will surprise her. Stand with the toes turned out well hold the knees rigid and keep the shoulders still. Now, with the neck of your dress and all bands loosened. be very deliberate and slow in all the movements, as trou- ble is likely to result in the way of "stitches" and strains. . Let the hands hung at the sides. Now drop the head as low upon the neck as possible, as limply as you can, without moving any part of the body below the neck. Revolve the head slowly. keeping it drooped as low as possible. At the first symptoms of wearincss of vertigo rest until relieved; then re- peat the movement, turning the head as slowly as possible. This will do more to strengthen the undeveloped muscles of the neck. re-t ~ 'duce large, ugly cords, and give the head a free, graceful poise than boxes of skin food, although cocoa button slowly and patiently massaged into the flesh before and after the exercise will help it wonderfully in the good results. The back of the neck and the upper part of the shoulders will become es- pecially beautified, and the “salt 0810 lars" will rapidly disappear. BRUISES. The appearance of a simple bruise is familiar to everyone. The swelling and discoloration are caused by the rupture of small blood-vessels beneath the skin, and the consequent escape of the blood and serum. The best ap- plication is cold in some form. A handkerchief or old piece of linen is dipped in cold water, or in equal parts of alcohol and water, and applied to the part. This must be renewed suf- ficiently often to maintain its coldness; or an iceâ€"bug may be used, the ice chopped very fine and enclosed in a piece of muslin or linen, or in a rub« her iwbag. Equally good applica- tions are extract of witch hazel. and laudanum and water applied in the same way. These remedies should be used as long as any tenderness is pres- ent. when they may be discontinued. and, in their stead, the part rubbed once or twice daily with spirits or soap liniment. W'hcn the head is the seat of injury, u. physician should be con- sulted. as sometimes serious conse- quences result from a blow on this pztrt of the body; particularly in this true when palencsa or vomiting follow the accident. _..... WOMEN lIO'l‘l'Il. Klilil’lillS.. One of the large hotels l0 lu- ()[u'llâ€" ed next winter in New York “ill be cnlirly in chargo of a woman, who, through a previous :ucrnssful experi- ence, has qualified herself to assume a plume of such responsibility. \‘l'omen proprietors of IiOil‘In‘ are not unknown in the Ullllt"l States but tlwy have not hitherto operator! in a fluid so large as that of the woman who will uran- oge this new building. One of these had charge of a private hole! which was uniquv, at least in one particular. During one winh-r the proprietor hall (10 cooks, and the young woman who struggh'd against this visitation o. ill-forlunc did not umsm to think llmt she had been through an experience i-spc-ciully trying. lut she udmillwi that her-ping a hotel furnished spll’fl- did discipline for the character. Wu. men bozo! km‘pcra have been ‘ufll‘elflfl- ful in many parts of the country. and no cecupnlion Her-me more suitable to their abilities. ()ne of the largest bowls in one of the heat known sum. mur resorts is kept by a woman, wile has maintained for yvnrn the high reputation and inclusiveness of tho. house. v...-.....4 . I. â€"m~â€".- ‘._......... . ....