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uv , 4...... l a...“ . an". in... 433.com: Humor ana Philosophy By DUNCAN M. SMITH PERT PARAGRAPHS. When a man tells a woman that she 5 ago it is up to her to seek the advice ~ot the beauty doctor at once. There is no such thing as painless dentistry. The so called painless kind paralyzes the pocketbook and the pain _ is excruciating. When you hire a lawyer you lose it you win. Some people are so fond of approval that they chase it to death. b - V_While the he of miracles is past, the woman who trustrully dips her old dress in a solution made from a ten went package of dyes does not think so. looks as young as she did fifteen years I PERT mama/true While the champion corn. husker is more useful than the champion slugger, the glory does not get around his Way. There is often nothing really big about some people who think they are great but their heads. It is easy to break children of telling the truth by speaking them when they, do so. ' A doctor must believe that pie is healthy to get much of a practice in Boston. When a man thinks that the world revolves around a fad nothing but time will cure him. It is useless to ar- gue the matter. out of business his folks need not be surprised it he is brought home in the ambulance. The man who invented the snow shovel would get bouquets thrown at him in the shape or snowballs it he We wish all our customers and friends a MERRY CHRISTMAS Thankin and ' HAPPY NEW YEAR. 23 0' you for your liberal patronage in the past, we solicit a continuance of the same. s I'Jos. McFaaLAND- SOCImTiEé. I NIGHTS OF 'TEN'I‘ED MACCABEES - " ’ Diamond Tent No. 208." Meets ill the True Blue hall in McArthur’s Block on the first and third Tuesday in‘ each month. CHAS. WISE, Com. 0 W. Bnnoorns, R) K. ANADIAN ORDER OF ODDFELLO'WS Trent. Valley Lodge No. 7l.. Meet in the Orange hall on Francis street West on the first and third Mondays in each month Wu. Drums J in. N. G. J. T. ’i‘nonrsos Ja., See. 0. L. No. 996. MEET IN THE ORANGE . hall on Francis-St. West on the second Tuesday in every month. . Law-is Darius, W. H. S. D. BARB, Ree-See. M EMPIRE LOYAL TRUE BLUE LODGE NW 198 meets first Frida f month in Oi-ange ha" I 0 each, Visiting brethren: always welcome. . Tans. Jonasrox, W. M. WM. BRANDON, Rec. Sec. NDEPENDENTORDER of FORESTERS _ 'Court Phoenix No.182. Meet on the last Monday of each month, in the True Blue hall in McArthur’s Block. . i D. GOULD, Chief Ranger. . ‘ Tues. AUSTIN,.R. S. p- ' CANADIAN ORDER OF FORESTERS -" Fcnelon Falls Lodge No 626. Meet; ' 1 People who have money to burn I came around looking for glory. in the Orange Hall on’Francis straw w", A... would do well to take out lire insur- , I -â€" on the last Thursday of mid, md-n:,,-l_ ‘ ~ 5%»? since before they merrily proceed. It is the dead game sport who rather ' ' F. Summon, Chief Rodger; "When a girl side steps a proposal she is as proud of herself as it she had given $1,000 to the heathen. Every old bachelor deserves a vote iotthanksfor' magnanimously retrain~ 1 "ing from making a martyr of some "timid little woman who might not have Chad the courage to refuse him. ‘ Many a girl lays in a big stock of .accessories beforehand when she is .abo'uttotbe married because she real- izes that it may be the last chance she ’ ywill have to get them. ‘11! any one preached what he prac- ticed he Would be the biggest sensa-. -tion of'the day. I'There'are more ways than one of sskinning a eat. but from the feline estandpoint one way is too many. What a snap a man would have it the could sell all of. his broken resolu- rttions as secondhand pavingmaterial. \ To Reform Him. If your friend is a. poet . And thus unendurnble, ; Do not» despair, tor , .~ . He is not incurable. Some time When the weather Is way below zero - .Seize him and play for l A moment the Nero. 1 Lead him some place where l The snow's drifted worst, Then gleefully toss him Into it head first. Then: let him remain for Three hours or so; He'll then burn his verses 0n “Beautiful Snow." Discovering New Stars. Few people realize what a hard job "it is to discover a new star; not in the “theatrical firmamentâ€"any good, handy '_'j[)l.'9SS agent can discover one there ai~ anost any bright eveningâ€"but in the "vast and boundless dome above. Night after night the patient explorer must sweep the starry heavens with a telescope; a carpet sweeper positively will not do. While the world is snoring :GVVify at the rate of forty miles an hour he must keep watching for some pa- tient little star that is sitting all alone out in the cold waiting to be discov- ered. . And after it is found the discoverer .must check off about a million of those . already known to make certain that it has not been discovered before. It is Urenough to give a man who likes to sleep nights the headache to think .mboutit. Harmless Looking. little white flakes of the beautiful snow Light on our noses and tickle us so; When to dislodge them we wiggle or sneeze, :Straightway they fall to the side- wall: and freeze. There they are held with an iron bound grip, ,LAnd on these samelittlc snow- flakes we slip, And. while the schoolboy right merrily jecrs, “(We-see more stars in the sixteenth part of a second than the Milky W'ay could- put on exhibition in a thousand years. Of Course Not. “Before we were married you antici- g‘patcd my every Wish; now I have to 'r'ueg for everything. Why is it?” ' “My dear. did you ever know a man very for anything after he had got it?” l l I l I prides himself that he is a live one. Paradoxical as it may seem. a sage observation is very seldom spicy. A lazy man is.more apt to stop a clock than a homely man by neglecting towindit. .. ., . ,.. Just Stop and Think before you buy your Christmas present. You may have been dealing with us for some time, or perhaps you have not. We think we show the finest, largest 'and best assorted stock in the County. Wedding Rings, Diamond Rings. Gem Ringgoi all kinds, Gentlemcn‘s Rings. Oilrd‘specinl blow is about our large ,gstp'ék ui WATCHES. S-c our silver, 'ild and gunmetai Watches for boys 1nd girls. Solid gold, gold iillcdalld nicklc cased Walt-hes We cox-iiir in stock over $2,000 womb of Watches alone. Guards, Long Chains. Brooches, Slit-k Pins, and an endless variety ot'_ suitable Christmas gifts. Come and ‘ see for yoursrli‘. . S.J. Petty, the J eveler. The Paint W6 Sell-:- LINDSAY. MILNE’S BLOCK. 99 KENT ST. ' Furniture and fi’adertaking‘. Just received this week an- other lot of nice Baby Car- riages vagagatlltlt are §EEE§3§3 Also Extension Tables, Side- boards and Bedroom Suites. I carry in stock a full line of Parlour Suites Lounges, Chairs, Etc. Picture framing a Specialty. If you are in need of a Sew- ing Machine be sure and see my styles before buying. 1... DEYMASE. ¢@@@G «firefisflewefiewsfl'fiua shoes... ' MANY reasons... ' do not seeas well as they should. Others see well, but theireyes soon become tired. Others suffer with constant headache that medi- ._ cine (lees not relieve, because the headache comes iron-i eye strain. _ fitted. The proper remedy is a pair of glasses properly We make no charge for eXamination. caisson V sacs. - OPTIGIANS. Foot of Kent St., Lindsay- the. seas iuavsv successes makeoverst suswiwks BUSENESS, ‘ lilil Eilllli is printed every Friday at the office, corner May and Francis Streets. SUBSCRIPTION 2 $1.00 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE or one cent per week will be added, as long as it remains unpaid. Advertising Rates. Prolcssional or business cards, 50 cents and will carry a large and upâ€"to-date stock of furniture. Am also prepared to do all "kinds of Carriage Making, Repairing and Repainting, and to make Wall Paper. We have a large stock of Colin McAr- thur’s Wall: paper, the only paper made by double process. Don’t be persuaded to buy any old thing. Just as well get the best. Everything. that IS kept by an upâ€"to-date hardware in stock. 4‘ r L’ encore-n prisms: ocular , â€"or runâ€"â€" -County of Victoria. . ’ he neat sittings of. the above Court wil be held in ’l‘womcy’s hall, Fenelon Falls ON MONDAY, APRIL lDih, 1905, commencing at 1 o’clock in the afternoon. Thursday, lllarchBOth, will b-.- the last day of service on defendants residing in this county. Defendants living in other coun- lies must be served on or before Satur- day, March 25th. 11%” Uiiice hours from 10 a. m. to 4 p. m. ELISHA MARK, E. D.HA.ND, Bailiff. Clerk. Fenclon Falls, Jan. 12th, 1905. Yllil liEE MT 3 i To Montreal or New York for choice patterns or low prices in WEiLL PAPEE’B. W. D. STACY, Sec. r . ‘ , ~' ~ ANA'DIAN HOME CIRCLES. rs LON Falls Circle No.1'27, meets-infill; True Blue hall in McArtliur’s Block the first Wednesday in every month. ' P. O. BURGESS, Leader. R. B. Svassrsn, Secretary. N RAND A.M, G a C THE srr . . . . J A. Lodge No.406. Meets. on the first Wednesday ofcach month,on or before the full of the moon in the led . Cunningham’s liiéck 3'9 room J" F. A. .lchi-iuuiun, 'W. M. E. FITZGERALD, Secretary. CHURCIâ€"IES. ' APTIST CHURCHâ€"QUEEN 8r, REV. 'J> H Hannah, Minister, Preaching services eyeryi‘luuday nt 10 30a. in. and 7 .p. m. Bible Class and Sunday School at 2.30. p. m. Praise and M. er ' ' Thursday at 8 p in. p y SCH/Ice on b E’l‘liODIST VCHURCHâ€"llâ€"y-COI‘JBORNE Streetâ€":Rev. H. B. Kcnney, Pastor. Sunday serwce at 10.30 a. m and 7p. m Sabbath School at 2. 30 p. m. Epwortli League of Christian Endeavor on Tuesday evening at 8 o’clock. P ' l ' ~ Thursday at 7.30. 'myer lneelmg on M T. ANDREW’S CHURCH Connor ‘ â€" .NE 8 Streetâ€"Rev. R. C. H. Sinclair, Pastor. . Sci-Vices every Sunday at'lo 30 a. m. and 7p In. Sunday School every Sunday at 2. do In. Christian Endeavor meeting every Tuesday at 8 p. in Prayer meeting every rlhursday at 7 3. p m. ' SALVATIpN ARMYâ€"~BARRACKS ON . Bond St. Westâ€"Captain Stephens and L Lieutenant Brass Service every Wednes- day), Thursday and Saturday evenings at 8 0 clock, and on Sunday'at‘ll a. m 3 p. m. and 7.30 p m. I ' v M- T. ALOYSIUS R. C CHURCHâ€"LOUI S Streetâ€"Rev. Father O’Leary, Pang: Servmc; evc'iei‘y alternate Sundav at 10 30 a m. ‘un ay School ever ' ' - noon at 2 o’clock. y sundny an" m ‘iT. JAMES’ CHURCH, BOND s’r. EAST, .Rev, A. S Dickinson, Rector. Sunday scrvwe: Matias It) 30 a. m.; evensong at 7 p. m. Celebration of Holy Communion first Sunday of every month at 10 30 a, m and third Bunday of every month' at 8 a m Sunday School 2.30 p. in. Thursday ever: week as follows: Culcchisiug of clllldl‘tflyl at 7 p. m., cvcxflong at 7.30 p. m. choir practice at 8 15 pl 111. ’ _ Seals-free in all churches. ‘E'verybody mmch to attend. Strangers cordiillli/ welcomed N IVIISCELLANIEOUS. Assess: - - ': ‘ v M. )UB'LIC LIBRARY-411$ M E. CALDER “ Librarian. Reading Room open daily Sunday excepted, from 10 o’clock n. m till 10 o’clock p. m. Bookscxchanged on Tues- diiys, 'l‘hursduys and Saturdays from 2 p. m. to 4 p., and in the evening from 7 to 9 I R . “7333!: r $.91}? M )OST-UFFICEâ€"F. J. KERR, POSTMAS- . tcr. Upon daily, Sundays execptod from 7 30 it ill to 7 p. in. Mail going soutli closes at 7 p.1n. Letters for rcgistrotion must be posted liitli'aii hour previous to the time for closing the mails. NEwsrAsER LAW. ” _ . 1. A post-master is required to give i10- two by letter (returning the paper does not answer the low), when a'subscribcr does not take his paper out of the office and state the reasons for its not home“ tliken Any neglect to do so makes the potstniaster rcSponsihlc to'the publisher for payment 2. If any person orders hi . . 8 paper discon- tinqu he must pay all arrcai'gcs, or the publisher may continue to send it until ‘ payment is made, and co‘llcct the whole amountwhcllicr the paper is taken fr ' the ollicc or not There can be no lco‘ul I disconlinuancc until the payment is magi: .5. Any person who takes a paper from the post ollicc, whether directed to his name or another, or whether 'he has sub- scribed or not, is responsible for the 4. If a subscriber orders hi 4 pay. , knitssvmaaemvmfirt .‘z,’ r 7 Worth: . per line per anuuin. Casual advertisements, I S ccnls per line for the first insertion, and 2 cents yer line for every subsequent inscr- iiou. Ccuii-acls by the year, half year or loss, upon reasonable terms. DOORS AND SASH. Planing done on start notice. 3 .. Built For it. Impti to be I “lie always tries his poetry on the 5 (‘10:: first." "Do dogs apprcciatc doggercl?” , stopped at a certain time and the 'iublislicr (:OlllilluL'S to send it, lhe'subsuri'bcrl'i's bound [to puy'lol' it' be mch it 'from the post-office l‘his proceeds upon thc'giouud that a mail We have them here now for your selection. . ._,.-p-_m_ n3;m~_v_pn_...r~gungm ' smart {egfr‘afigrh -197! '. . S : ' * "v I ~' 5 ‘ mu t’pi) ioi “out he Uses . - - - TC-l; Bi) TY:"H".".'~TG crccuied neatly cor- . n... I - Y 9 i "' {he mums “me decide" in“ refilling .51. . His Painful Load. . 3 u . . . ..s_..Ld.'...;. . . .J I mafia-ii. , to take ncu'simiwrs :qu per-Swimls from . .5. . . ,. i. , .. u I .. . ‘. :3 ~. I.‘. 0.3, a... . ‘9; \3 .1 ' mp. l ll-‘I” lt-IrT-H'llf't'. 02' 2%- " ~ I I - - ..i._ . i A.” i... Hum. l. .i :Q‘}; l ‘Jii . . .‘ :L- .. i I I.. “UH'H‘ ""d I‘m-"1"" \ .. y. a . .. ~, ., ' 1,»:v-v-o‘ ‘ bid-3'1 UNI-‘2" l ’- .'. '~" ‘ i ‘ l a H “JG T‘Jo , 5.],1,{_g‘;-_,‘}3,‘ “06:39” ,. i H! 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