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~ l Humor a'na Philosophy I By DUNCAN M. SMITH PERT PARAGRAPHS. Considering how cheap they are, com- ;piiments saw an immense amount of ‘avood. , It is just bare- ly possible that the woman who the best man on ,_ earth has never l-, been asked to 'leave her happy home for him. Some people are honest because it is tronldesoine to be otherwise. If poverty is a blessing in disguise, the disguise is so perfect that you iwould never suspect it. 1 Never judge a man by his clothes. He may have another suit at home, but the. chances are, of course, that he hasn’t. One trade that follows the flag is naturally the fighting trade. It makes the man who is afraid he will yield to temptation sore if none is thrown in his way. The man who invented the fountain (pen has just died, but the fellows who invent words to fit the occasion when it won’t work are still with us. When a girl is about sixteen, she 'thinks the reason all men do not work :at soda fountains is because they can- :not get the jobs. It is a thrilling and joyous sight to .see a dignified man who is some pump- "kins at home trying to push his way through the crowds in a strange city. Sometimes a man does not see an -:opportunity that almost bumps into .him because a pretty girl is passing on the other side of the street. After a man has learned the ways ~01? the world it doesn’t increase his .opinion of the world to any alarming .extent. All In the Business, The drummer in the country town Speaks highly of the little place. He thinks that when he settles down And quits the high, nerve killing pace That he will take his child and wife And settle with them in the woods- In fact, be one of them for life, Because he wants to sell them goods. He thinks their water is the best That he has tasted anywhere, ' And he has traveled east and west And knows the finest draft is there. He doesn't drink it to excess If amber fluid is not shy, ,But he is willing to express Opinions that will make them buy. “The girls, he thinks, are far more fair Than in the next jerkwater town; -".l.‘he men are handsome, true and square; The scenery should bring renown; “The town a future great will find, llas prospects, any one could tell, forgetting not to keep in mind That he is there with goods to sell. \l’hen he goes home he says, alas, That life is dull and commonplaCB Out in the tail and uncut grass. l-le doesn‘t say it to their faceâ€" -Oh, no; he lies with might and main To make the business come his way, 'VVhlie longing for a friendly train So he can make his get-away. Saw Her First. “She never kissed a man in her life." "She doesn't know what she has , inn-sou." "Possibly, but the men know what "they haven‘t.” {new the Marks. “The girls cannot fool him in regard to their ages.” “No?” “He is on to all of the latest wrin- "l'les." - " -‘ *2 So Simple. fit is easy enough if you're going some- \vinrc "l‘o juggle the railroads out of a fare; You can beat them for money, marbles ox chalk. TWeulJ. you know how to do the trick‘l Tell, walk. _ ._ Acrobatic Feat. “He thinks he is eligible to member- aship in the turners' society." "On what grounds?" “lie always turns his cuffs.” Wins the Jobs. “She is fitting herself for a position fie apply for a job as typewriter.” “‘Patronizing a shorthand school 2" 2.“ “LNQ, a beauty doctor.” 5 Ar 8 ~10 5.3.0 Lindsay lv 11.00 11.111. .. lLocn AGENT writeu- At. once for ‘- OAsADA's GREATEST Nunssaiss” {or the town of FEN E LON FALLS and surrounding country, which will be reserved for the right man. Start Nowv, at the best selling season, and handle our Ner Specialties on liberal terms. Write for particulars, and send 25c. for our Handsome Aluminum Pocket Microscope (a little gem), useful to wouldn’t marry Farmers, lll examining seeds and grains. Orchardisls, in examiningr trees for insects Gardeners, in examining plants for insects. Teachers and scholars in studying botany Everybody in a hundred different ways“ STONE 3v. WELLISGTGN. FONTHILL NURSERIES. (OVER 800 ACRES.) TORONTO - 19-3m. star. and; and able to meet. the requirements of the public. and havejus: r-ceived a good assortment ol cocks. I cau supply you with a coed reliable Watch either 7, 15, 17 ('1'21 jr-wel movement, in an), sort oi'cnse l'rl]llll‘- ed, and almost anything else. that a jewellcr carries in his line of mods. ONTARIO. Rings, Brooches, Chains, Links, Souvenir Badges ‘ an Emblems. The old, reliable Waiclunaker and Jciveller. ESTABLISH ED 1878. JOHN SLATER. Fenelon Falls. WSQSOS. If it requires any repairing, bring it to my shop on Francis street east, and the work will be done the way it should be done. And I can show you some Buggies that will make you 0“lad you didn’t buy a buggy elsewhere before you saw them. F. G GHlll-liBERS. ___._~ Trent Valley Navigation 00., LIMITED . 1 Bobcaygeon, Sturgeon Point. Lindsay. Steamer “ ESTURION.” June 151' until Sept. 30th, inclusive. lead down. Read up. a. 11] p m. I p m. p.111. l.v 6.15 3 10 Bolicaygcou Ar 1 13 8.1 Lv 715 4.10 Sturgeonl’tdlv12.10 6.5 ’x 4 During June, July, Aug. and Soph, Sal- urday’s boat will await arrival of G 'l‘ R and-C. 1’ R. evening liains from Toronto, I and G ’l‘. Itcvening train fronrl’ort l-lope. Meals served on board. Connects at Sturgeon Point with steamer Manila. for Cohoconk and intermediate points on Mondays, Wednesdays Saturdays Lindsay, Fendon D-‘alls, Coboconk. “ MANl'l‘A,” June 19 to Sept â€"(1\loudays, Wednesdays and Saturdays ) Read down. Read up Lv 8.30 a. m. Lindsay Arr. (3.00 p. m. “ 9.30 “ Sturgeon Point "' 4.50 “ Ar10.o0 “ Fcnclon Falls Lv 4.20 “ Lv 10.45 “ “ Ar 3.40 “ -‘ 11.23 “ Roscdale Lock “ 3 :30 “ Ar12.25 p.111. Coboconk [iv 2.01) “ On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays this boat is open for special charter. Bobcayegeon, Chemong, Burleigh. “ OGEMAH ” June 19th to Sept.â€" Reud down. Read up. Lv 7.00 a. m. Bobcaygeon Arr 7.45 p. m. “ 9.30 “ Chemong Pk or «1.30 1v 5 ‘l “ 11.30 “ Buckhorn Ar 2.15 “ A1'12.3J p. m. Burlcigh Falls Lv 1.00 “ Connection at Burloigh with “ Empress’ and “Stony Lake” for Lakeiield and _in- tormediate points. Meals served on boa rd. McCallum’s line of busses will give Peter- borough connection with morning and evening boats at. Chemong. Burleigh,-Stony Lake Points. Lakefield. June 19th to Sept. 16th. Strs. Empress, Stony Lake, Majestic. Daily connections made at Lakefield with all G. T. R. trains to and from all Stony Lake points, and with Sir. Ogcmah at Bur- leigh Falls for Chemong and Bobcaygeon Meals served on board. I For tickets and general information apply I to our agent, D. Gould, Echelon Falls.- Paint, Oils. GET one. Paicss on Building Hardware,- Wire Edge Ready Roofing, Metal Shingles and Siding, Glass, Eavetroughing a. specialty. uos. deans. We invite you to inspect our novelties in Enamelled Sterling Silver, Silver Plate, Dainty Bits of Fine China, Desk Novelties, Tableware, Etc. r g Enamelled Gun Metal, e d BRITTON BROS. Foot of Kent St, Lindsay. Our new store is headquarters in Fenelon Falls for GROCERIES, READY-MADE CLOTHING, GROCKERY, GLASS'W’AEE, BOOTS 85 SHOES. lanes soecnasso is. masseuse sentences harness. and will carry a large and up-toâ€"date stock oi furniture. Am also prepared to do all kinds of Carriage Making, Repairing and Repainting, and to make DOORS AND SASH. W Planing done on short notice. S. S. Gainer. SE80 CFSSEWAREQ. ND lVlSIQfi @{IUBT "â€".‘OF THE-â€" County of Victoria. » The next. sittings of the above Court wil beheld in ’l‘womcy’s hall, Fenelon Falls ON Mfli‘iDAY. OCTOBER 9th, 1905, commencing at 1 o’clock in the afternoon. Thursday, Sept. 28th, will be the last day of service on defendants residing in this county. Defendants living in other coun- ties must be served on or before Satur- day, Sept. 23rd. 31%“ Office hours from 10 a. m. to 4 p.111. ELISHA MARK, E. D . HAND, ' Bailiif. Clerk. Fcnclon Falls, July 12th, 1905. You any a, To Montreal or New York for choice patterns or low prices in WALL PAPER. We have them here now for your selection. ocean’s, Linnsnv, NEXT TO SIMPSON HOUSE. DIRECTQRE. SOCIETIES. ANADIAN ORDER 01“ ODDFELLOWS Trent Valley Lodge No. 71. Meet in the Orange hall on Francis street west on the first and third Mondays in each month Wit. DEYMAN Jn., N. G. J. ’1‘. ’l‘nonrson Jn., Sec . O.L. No. 900. MEET IN THE ORANGE . hall on Francis-St. West entire second Tuesday in every month. LEWIS DnvMAx, W ll. 8. D. Bann, Rec â€"Sec. MPIRE LOYAL TRUE BLUE LODGE l N 1 ‘ ' o._ 98, meets first Ivriday of each month 111 Orange hall Visiting brmliren always welcome. Tnos. Jonxs’rox, W .\1. WM. Bnaxnox, Rec. Sec. INDEPENDENT ORDER of FORESTERS Court. Phoenix No.182. Mch on the last Monday of each month, in the True Blue hall in McArthur’s Block. D. GOULD, Chief Ranger. Tnos. AUSTIN, R. S. â€".__ CANADIAN ORDER OF FORESTERS _ Echelon Falls Lodge No (526. Meets 1n the Orange Hall on Francis street west on the last Thursday of each month. ‘ F. Sm'rmnmn Chichan for W. D. STACY: Sec. “ £ 7 N ‘lAN'ADlilN HOME Cll‘f‘l FS 1‘ I ' 1 I. I 4 A . I LON Falls Circle No. .127, meets in the True Blue hall in ilchrihur’s Block the first Wednesday in every month. P. C. lluncnss, Leader. R. B. Sernsrnn, Secretary. \â€" F‘. AND A. M., G. R. C. THE SPRY . Lodge No.406. Meets on the first Wednesday ol'each month,on‘or before the full of the moon, in the lodge room in ‘ Cunningham’s Block. W H. Ronson, W. M.‘ E. FITZGERALD, Secretary. m CIâ€"IURVCI-IECS. APTIST CHURCHâ€"QUEEN ST., REV. .J H Hannah, Minister Preaching servrces eyeryEainday at 10.30 a.,m. and 7 p. m. Bible Class and Sunday School at 2.30 p. m pmise and NH _ v ‘ . , er s . ’lhursday a1 8 p m l y Givrce on M N 'ETHODIST CHURCHâ€"-COLBO RNE Sirect~‘â€"l\‘cv H. B. Kcuncy, Paisley. Sunday scrvrce at 10.30 a m and 7 p. in. Sabbath School at 2. 30 p. m. Epworth League of Christian Endeavor on Tuesday , evening at 8 o’clock. Prayer meeting on Thursday at 7.30. M T. ANDREW’S CHURCHâ€"COLBORNE S Streetâ€"Rev. R. C. H. Sinclair, Pastor. Seerces every Sunday at 10 30 a. m and 7 pm. Sunday School every Sunday at 2. 30 p. m. Christian Endeavor meeting every Tuesday at 8 p. 111. Pm 'er me t' every Thursday at. 7 3.- p m. ) e mg ALVATION ARMYâ€"BARRAC-KS ON ' Bond St. Westâ€"Captain Stephens and Lieutenant Brass Service every Wednes- day, lliursday and Saturday evenings at 8 o clock, and on Sunday at ll a. m 3 p. m. and 7.30 p. m. , N- ST. ALOYSIUS R. O. CHURCHâ€"LOUISA ‘ Streetâ€"Rev. Father O’Leary, Pastor. Servrccs every alternate Sunday at 10.30 a.m. Sunday School over S _ noon at 2 O’clock. 5’ uuday after EH ST. JAMES’ CHURCH, BOND ST. EAST .Rev A. S. Dickinson, Rector. SundayZ servrce: Matins 10.30 a. m.; evensong at 7 p. in. Celebration of Holy Communion first Sunday of every month at 10 30 a. m. and third Sunday of every month at 8 a. In. Sunday School 2.30 p. in. Thursday every week as follows: Catechising of children at 7 p. m., cvcnsong at. 7.30 p. m., choir practice at 8 15 p. m. w ‘ ““hm . Seats-free in all churches. Everybo trialled to attend. Strangers cordially welcomed? DilSClflLszNlCOUS. “N ll)Ub‘-LIC LllJRARY--.\1RS.M E. CALDER ‘ Librarian. Reading Room open daily Sunday excepted, from 10 o’clock a. m till 10 o’clock p. m. Books exchanged on Tues- days, Thursdays and Saturdays from 2 p. m. to l p, and in the evening,r from 7 to 9. JOS’IEOll‘FlCEâ€"F. J. KERR, POSTMAS- . tcr. Open daily, Sundays excepted irom 7 30 a. m. to 7 p. in. Mail going soutli closes at 7 p. m. Letters for registration must be posted halfan hour previous to the time for closing the mails. ‘ 1. A post-master is req rice by letter (reLurning the paper does not answer the law), when a subscriber doe‘ not take his paper out of the ollicr and state the reaSous for its not being r-lk‘cu Any neglect to do so makes the postmaster responsrble to the publisher for payment I 2. if any person ordch his paper discbu- tmucd he must pay all arr-carves or the ])11l.)llSllCl“lllil_)' continue 'to solid ,it until payment is made, and collect the whole amount whether the paper is taken from the ethos or not. There can be no lo ul discontinuation until the payment is maids 3. Any person who takes a paper iroul the post-oilice, whether diroctod to his name or another, or whether he has sub- scribed or not, is responswle for the p». .1. If a subscriber orders his paper toybe stopped at a certain time and the publisher continues to send it, the subscriber is bound to pay for if he takes it from tho post-office 'llns proceeds upon the ground that a. m - . must pay for what he uses. an 5. The couris have decided that refusln r to take newspapers and periodicals froth the post-oliicc, or removing and leaviu tho-m uncalled for, is prima More evide g oi mtentional lraud. “cc Mum“ A. BARGAIN. For sale, at a good deal 1 _ ass th ' value, a yery nice light Top Buggyanltll: newly painted, has new tires and a mom. bl t ' poigczea for children. Apply at the Gagezgg Hired to give no- ‘I “