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raphic 4 Xperi- grifie. of from for these E the best ired will .petltion‘ prices. vear ‘WELL’S BRUS- OS. 9’ a1 and Wu J v..." A neg-70 boy near Camden. South Carolina, lost a. $1 that belongedtohis mother. He fe't so badly about it that he be; 1 crying bitterly and did not stop for 24 hours, and then he died from exhaustion. w-â€"..I Mrs. Goodheartâ€"“Why don’t you give that woman a dime?” Mrs. Tiptopâ€" "Mercy me! I can’t afford to spare a. cent. As it. is, I don’t see how we’re ever going to pay for that $300 dress I had to order for the charity ball.” Jinks (at a party)â€"-“I don’t see what’s the matter with that pretty woman over there. She was awfully flirty a little while ago, but now she ~won’t have any- “T L....,\ while ago, but now she won’t have any- thing to do with me.” Strangerâ€"“I have just come in. She is my wife.” A cat crawled into the muzzle of a loaded cannon in the British barracks at Cape Colony 3. short time ago. When a distance of 200 feet, but, strange to say, lived two hours after her involuntary flight. - . 1,! .â€"°~-,V Testimony has just been given before the grand jury at Russelvi'le, Ky., that a. farmer recently had an ox he was driving stick fast in the mud, whereupon he skinned the animal alive, and, taking the hide, left the poor brute to die in linger- ing agony. A pegsoti convicted of any crime in1 China, except that of murde-iug one of the royal fam'ly, can hire a substitute to take the punishment, even if it is death. The rate of pay of these substitutes has lately advanced about. 20 per cent. and the Cause is laid to the English. Virginia keeps ahead of the country in panther stories now-a-days. The latest narrative deals with a twelve foot beast, who boarded a moving freifiht train, car- ried oil a lantern and a box of tools from the tender and went rattling up the mountain making music for miles around. The beauty of the family (who has a temper of her own)â€"“Fancy, Mr. De Bullion has proposed ! Isn’t it wonderful, after only lmovhg me two weeks ! Elder sisterâ€"~“ Humph! It- would be a. great deal more wonderéul if he had pr0posed after knowing you two yea:s.”â€"London Fun. Let the Toast Passâ€"The Colonel (a. bachelor)â€"â€""‘ Ah, Professor, here’s to woman and wine, equally intoxicating, and always inseparable.” The professor (benedico)â€"â€"“ Quite so ; i‘ever you marry, you’ll find that no woman is without her whine, and like your portâ€"as she gets older she gets crustier. ”â€"London Fun. lobert Gibson. 21. iriserly farmer living in Crzuvford county, Pennsylvania, a few days ago placed $5,000 in a coffee pot and buried the coflee pot in a barrel of onions, in his cellar. Saturday night some one broke into the cellar and carried off the barrel of onions, money and all. Gibson is reported as having gone insane over his loss. Architecture of the Future â€"â€"The Archi- tect " Iu‘s a. splendid quality of stone I’ve employed for your houseâ€"lasts for ever and grows a beautiful color with age. Of course it’s hideous when it’s new.” The Squireâ€"“ And how long wiil ii; be before it grows a. beautiful color ‘2‘ ’ The Architect cbtltatéu -‘ is 3 ve unf ' ry ortunate thmg for ;_s that 'the best known rhyme for 15 stupld. AV \ v.-..-___._ - “A Inu I. w â€"“ Well, you can huldly expect it to look decent in your lifetime l”-â€"London Punch. SIC‘S'OF THE SEX. Holl'man Howes “ Good gwacious, Gibby, what’s the unattah? Inever saw you look so dweadfully flushed.” Howell Gill‘ocmâ€"NAwful mawtification, Hoffy! I was standing in the Car, and a. man got up, mying: ‘Pway take this seat, Miss!” I’ll nevah go out without my single eye- glass again.”-â€"Puck, A problem in compound proportion, requiring: for the answer a. certaln number of cows, was given an A gramnar boy. He solved the problem correctly, and ob- D90] to be pretty nearly time trim of the ragged edge every body played :he liar plays SWIV- The Colonel (a. for the for Cu- tained the correct answer, but it contained a fraction. On examining the work the teacher remm ked: “Your answer is quite fight, but it seems a. little unreasonable, as we scarcely know how to dispose eof the fiactJon of a cow.” At this Charley’ s face was fairly iadient, as he hastily replied: ‘ ",Why can t we reduce it to calves?” Adx 1ces from the Indian territory say that the diary of Belle Stain, the noted fem: 1le bandit, has been obtained. The 1ecord is 1eplete with thiillnw incidents and disclosures conce1ning crimes in Texas and the Indian tenito1y and tend to prove that innocent men have been sen- tenced on various occasions. The names of piominent nersons are connected with c1 imes committed 111 recent years. Some 1 of the sketches are lively and hu1no1ous. It was the xcitizlg moment in the mad- house scene of “Light 0’ day.” The 'thespians in the St. James’s theatre, Manchester, England, followed the inci- dents intently. Suddenly a young lady, moved by the brutality of the blackguards, rushed past the checker at the stalls, jumped on the stage, and, seizing the actor taking the part of the keeper, set upon him in the most vigorous manner. The audience seemed to appreciate itâ€" he‘r laughter was long and lordâ€"and to rather resent the ofiicials’ iu'teh-aption. Charles T. Orbann, aPhiladelphia news bov, was pushed off a cable train by a conductor. His right leg was cut off. The boy has just recovered $20,000 in dam- ages, the case having been taken to the Supreme Court, and by it sent back to the Court of Common Pleas. Said the judge to the jury which just found liberally for the boy; “If you find that there has been negligence on the part of defendant, the plaintifl‘ is intitlee to damages. In de- termining what damages to give, you must LCL‘luluLuS u uau wuss-5w.) w 6" v, J v... ---.._- regulate it on the theory of compensation. The defendant would be intitled to com- pensation for the deformity he had suf- fered, and for the loss of his earning cap- acity from the time he would reach the age 21 years to the end of his natural life.” Women as Guides. Following out a hint from London, where the women guides are regularly or- ganized and wear a bracelet as a badge, 3 New York woman makes a good living as a guide to other women visiting the city. bhe meets them at the trains, takes them to their rooms shows all the sights, and performs all the duties which are under- taken by European guides. In Phila- delphia this service is rendered sometimes by messenger boys. The A. D. T. stations might, perhaps. consider it worth while to register a few women for this employment. ;Commissionair is a better name than l guides, however, for this includes other services. Quite recently a lady desiring to obtain good boarding in Philadelphia, and not willing to spend the time in per- sonal researches, sent to the Woman’s Guide for a commissionaire. The young woman made out a list of about forty places to visit, was furnished with the figures of price her employer was willing to pay and the price she would prefer to pay; also, the conveniences she must have. etc‘,. It is easier to bargain for others than for oenself. The commissionaire took ten hours to see the forty, selected two or three from which the lady made her choice, and was paid for her time at her own price â€"â€"Philadelphia Record. Coon Hunting. There was sport in the coon hunt for our fathers, and in a measure a man’s importance in some communities was judged by the number of coon skins he could nail to his barn door after a. hunt. Why the coon has come to be despised by sportsmen in these latter days is one of those things about which the remark has once or twice been made that no fellow can find out. He is as cunning as the fox and more difficult to trail. He is, méreover, the cleanest of animals, eats only the most wholesome of f‘ iie shohld not be despised, surely, be- cause he can be hunted only at night, for in threading the woods in the dark- ness, following dogs that you cannot see, and whose buying alone breaks the still- ness, there is a most singular enchant- ment. Even in localities where coons are the most abundant, nine out of ten of the present generation never saw one, and few people know anything about them or their habits. Although the coon prefers the vicinity of civilization as his habitat, he plans to keep aloof from the eyes of men, and his habits render this an easy task. By day he lies in out of the way retreats, in the depths of hollow trees or isolated crevices and bolus in the rocks. He wanders forth only at night and al- though his foraging expeditions may take him to the very doors of farmers, and even Within the boundary lines of vil- lages, he never betrays his presence. If more than one coon is brought to bay in a tree they will invariably be females or a mother coon and her offspring. The scent the coon leaves on the trail is at all times less than that of other game quad- ruped, but when the female is nursing her young during the summer months her scent is hardly perceptible to the dogs, thus saving her and her litter from many a race for life. The scent of the coon grows stronger as the cold weather advances, and through November and December the dogs follow it with com- paratively little difficultyâ€"Philadelphia Press. A W'arrior's Matrimonial Fate. Walking along; Lake Shore with an old soldier, who had married thrice and for money every time, I had some new and valuable light shed upon the ques- tion, “Is marriage afailure?” The war- rior takes an easy view of life. He is inclined to think that women are not as bad as they are painted, but that they re- quire strong handling. “The marriage laws are much too easy on women. Now, look here! I’m a. man of familyâ€" I mean social position. I have an in- come of between $2,500 and $3,000. mmbneem ms, THE WATCHMAN, ' us mme own: 1 married a. w1aow for my first wife. She had 85,000 a year of her own and no social position, as her first husband was a saloon keeper. I got her into refined and fashionable so- ciety. “How did she repay me, think you? Well, she insisted upon spending all her own coin upon herself, and then de- manded half of my little income. VVasn’t that pretty cheeky? She paid me noth- ing for my social position. She got 1 everything and gave nothingâ€"save the 85,000 a year when she died to a twenty- second cousin near Prince Bismarck’s home in Pomerania. My second wife \ '35 in her second widowhood, but not a bit softer about money matters than when she was a maiden fair. Every- thing settled upon herself. I paid for the wedding breakfast. She had a large income and she never gave me a cigar. She went to heaven and left her money to a sister. The sister wouldn’t marry me, but I got a nice little woman with four children, who had buried three hus- bands and was as merry as a butterfly. She is alive now and is the hardest nut of all. She doesn’t take half my money â€"she takes the whole of it, pays my bills and allows me fifty cents a day for spending money. No, sir; marriage was no failureâ€"for three women who had the good fortune to marry me.”â€"Chi- cage Journal. A. Cheap Lesson. ‘ ‘That piece of paper isn’t worth shucks, is it?” queried a. stranger, as he handed a. check in to the cashier of a. Griswold street bank the other day. “No, sir,” was the reply, after a. brief glance. “It is signed John Smith.” “I see it is.” “He’s a. fraud?” “I think 30. Where did you get the check?” “At the depot. Lent a party $20 to get off on a train with, and he gave me this check of $50 as security.” “You have been confidenced.” “I know it. I knew it half an hour ago. When I started to come to town my brother said I’d let some one make a fool of me.’ “And you have.” . “I have. Turned out just as he said. Say, wasn’t that confidence operator rather fresh?” “How?” “See here. Here’s a wallet with $3, 800 in it, and the fool only asked me for $20! Won’t he kick himself if he ever finds out how cheap he let me off!”â€"-Detroit Free Press. Cincinnati has the champion absent minded man. A gentleman living in the suburbs went in a store on W'alnut street to make a few purchases. The only light in the store was a candle standing on the counter near the money drawer. After making his purchases he handed the proprietor a. bill, and after returning him the change the proprietor walked to the rear of the store to arrange some- thing, when suddenly he was left in the dark. He started toward the counter, and, groping around it, found, not the candle, but the change. It struck him then that probably the man, in a fit of absent mindedness, had taken the candle instead of his change. He started out after him, and, catching up with him, saw that he had the bundle in one hand and the candle in the other. After apol- ogizing for the mistake thefstranger took his change and gave back the candle.â€" Chicago Times. The Acropolis of Today. The town of Athens, and especially the Acr0polis, is now passing through a very remarkable period in its existence. It is with mixed feelings that even those who reside here, and Whose chief interest is in archaeology, look upon the sweeping alterations that have quite changed the character of its appearance. The tend- ency to demolish all monuments of me- diaeval or modern history has been al- lowed free play of late years; in a short time hardly anything will be left that does not go back at least to Roman times. The line will probably be drawn here, though if one regards nothing but the work of the great age of Athens as worthy of preservation, it is hard to see why (for instance) the pedestal of Agripâ€" pa deserves more respect than the “Frankish tower,” which certame was more picturesque and of higher histori- cal interest. But now it is too late to regret What may have been lost. Only two or three insignificant fragrnente of later walls re- main. and those of quite recent period; when they are removed the Acropolis will appearâ€"but for the wear and acci- dents of agesâ€"much as it did when the so called “Beule gate” was first built. This is an intelligible aim, and we im- agine it will now be recognized by all as the best attainable. The Acropolis can never again present that picturesque medley of historical associations and monuments of all periods that delighted the visitor twenty or thirty years ago; but we may hope, when the ugliness of recent excavations and alterations has worn off, when a painfully cxact_appear- ance of order and arrangement has been avoided (as is promised), and, above all, when the old verdure and flowers have once more spread over the whole, that a new and more purely classical charm may be found to have resulted from the temporary loss of beauty.â€"â€"Athens Cor. London Athenwum. The Nile Crier. When the inundation approaches the capitalâ€"usually at the end of June or the beginning of Julyâ€"the Nile criers begin their work. ’ r:il‘hese criers are men Whose business it is to call out, or rather to recite, before the how . of .fchose who Wish it. how An Absent Minded Man. LINDSAY, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1889. mucn the Nile has risen during the last twenty-four hours. The Oriental does everything, no mat- ter What it is, gravely, slowly, with. much dignity and verbosity, and is never chary of his time or breath. Even the form of his greeting in the street is a. complicated ceremony of - words and motions, which usually takes some min- utes to perform. And in the same way this announcement of the river’s rise, which seems to us such a simple matter, is a most serious affair. The day before the crier begins his talk, he goes through the streets accom- panied by a boy, Whose part it is to act as chorus, and to sing the responses at the proper moment. The crier sings: “God has looked graciously upon our fields." Response: “Oh, day of glad tidings.” “To-morrow begins the announcement.” Response: “May it be followed by success.” Before the crier proceeds to give the information so much desired he intones With the boy a lengthy, alternating chant, in which he praises God, implor- ing blessings on the Prophet and all be- lievers, and on the master of the house and all his children. , Not until this has been carefully gone through does he proceed to say the Nile has risen so many inches. 7 This ceremony is carried on until the month of September, when the river has reached its culminating point, and the crier, as bringer of such good news, never fails to claim his “baksheesh,” or Canada dairymen are giving i attention to cheese making. drink moneyâ€"sometimes humbly and sometimes, too, very imperiously.â€"Lon- don Tid Bits. Whoesale 85 Retail Grocer, Teas, Sugars, Cofi'ees, Spices, Raisins, c. Coal Oil and syrup Cans, Latest Styles. SPRATT KILLEN, Our Stock of Groceries is now Complete, and are all New, Fresh Goods, and Best Qualities General Groceries. Having enlarged the rear of our premises so as to store our Teas and Coffees and other Goods which we expect to do a large Wholesale Trade m, we have ample room for to do a Retail Grocery and Provision Trade in front, which has been thoroughly refitted, We will be pleased to see all our old customers in this line, and any new ones that may favor us, and will guarantee they will not regret any purchases they may AND New Groceries. PURE TEAS AND FRESH ROASTED COFFEES HAS NOW ON HAND A LARGE STOCK .. CAMPBELL, FRAMES, SASH, DOORS, * ' MOULDINGS, Etc. . CAMPBELL, WHOLESALE RETAIL GROCER, KENT STREET, LINDSAY. Spratt Killen, Prices right and satisiaction guaranteed. 'czm‘z'es z'm‘endz'ng z‘o éuz'la’ Me coming season would call amigez‘ prices for Ingle 85 Ryley. make.