The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Hts MXSTAKB.â€"-Hls honor the mayor ' (who is ourself) deeply regrets the little in- cident which occurred at the city hall Mon. day afternoon, and is pleased to learn that the verdict of the public in with him. For many moons past the coroner of this town has considered himself a. bigger ma than "the mayor. It was a. great mistake on his port, but we let it 0 until the critter came to the conclusion tfiat he was running most of the territory. Monday afternoon we found him at our official desk, with his heels on our official blanks, and one of our official cigars between his teeth. He only struck the stairs once on his way down, and it was thirty minutes before he opened his eyes and recognized Mose “'iiiiams, who was feeding him whisky. We were elected to run this town. “'hen we show \ as of weakness it will be time for some ise to step in. The coroner is a. good “1‘.th has a very graceful way oi Ling: an inquest, but the sw‘elli .g in 5-11 must be kept down. He says he " soon as ubie to get on b, e expected. When we We accepted all the met all 0111': T liltg- 1' newspaper on earth, but it" might; as well be understood right here and now that under certain circumstances we shall promptly buckle on two six shooters,mounb our running male and demand an inter- ______ .â€" Dv'v vv his aged father in Connecticut. Josep had simply been joking us in returning the maple copy. He has a great deal of humor in his composition, and sometimes he feel: no funny that he does strange things. He had no idea. that his action would strike as miously, but expected we would be tick- led half to death. We are somewhat given to fun, but when a man returns a sample oopy of our paper we can’t . see the joke. .We don‘t say that we expect everybody to regard the Kicker as. the greatest family wenâ€"“n..-â€" A- n; ALL use had not only squared himSefi' but!I handed over four dollars in cash for two subscriptions3 one of yv'hich gpes ‘10; his an...) I‘LL-_ ,4 OM: 0i“ Joeeex’s Jokni.â€"â€"Last week we received through the mail a. copy of the Kicker which had been sent to Joe Taylor, of Duel; Lake, as a. sample copy of the literary fruits grown. in this neighborhood. Joseph used the margin and a lead pencil to tell us to go to a ciime much hotter than this. We of course mounted our mule and rode over to solicit an interview. Joseph saw ‘us when we were yet a. mile away, and mounting his mule he bolted for Grass Val~ ley. We overhauled himrat Turkey Creek, however, and gave him sixty seconds in which to explain matters. He is a very rapid speaker, and in less than half a. min- We were preparing a veto, astranger walked in and covered us with his gun. He was a slow going chap, and had our old paper- _weight been in place we could have got the drop on him. As it was, he covered us and proceeded . to make us eat dirt. No one happened to come in, and for ten minutes he obliged us to call ourself a thief, liar. swindler, deadbeat and a. heap of other unpleasant things. VVhait grieved us more than all else was to be forced to declare that the Kicker had only one-tourth the circulation of its wretched contem- porary, and that we stood in bodily fear of tho “nae..._r_.._,, 1- -__r or the Mayor (who is ourself) first occupied his official desk in the city hall he used a. revolver as a. paperweight, and things were running along in a smooth and gentle way when the mayor of Buffalo happened out this way. The paperweight attracted his attention, and he read us a moral lecture. He thought there was a certain abandon about the matter incompatible with the dignity of the oflice. We took the advice ofatendertoot for the first time in five years and replaCed the revolver with a piece of quartz silver. The other day 3;: “A u-nmu ‘t..A_ .- _._ DIDN’T Put aside your own ideas next wash-day and try the easy, clean, “SU/ILIGi/T"’ way. No Mom: INNO\'AT:0N5.-â€"Wnen his hon- rrn'mayors fail to understand as m 5 Mi Wash Day Let another wash-day go by without trying it. The Arizona Kleke r. SOAP BY USING You Say: HOW ‘I ND the work socut down thatayoung girl or delicate woman can do a. family Washing without being no HEAVY Bonus T0 lIFT which, wherever used with its latest improvement calls forth wonderful praise. It is the only pump on the market that can be changed so as to throw either a light or heavy stream of water. You should see it before purchasing. W'e manufacture six different- styles of wooden pumps and handle every de- sign of Canadian and American iron pumps. If you are in need of a pump call.‘ and see-us before [caurchasiug It will pay you. Manufactures all kinds of Pump:r and can satisfy you both in style and price. We make aspecialty of the now well known PUMPS I Kee s on hand a. lar 0 stock of COFFINS. :CA KETS and 8.! kinds of Undertaker" Goods. _Bedroom. Parlor and all other kinds of Furniture. hand-made. at lowest. prices. I? Do not fail to call and see him, Hy. Gabinetmaker _ _ - -._ .._ ml“ Acucaulu 5166p ggve strength to the negra, cheerfulness go the 'mlnd and ease to the_body, so that the wet ht of ears bears less heavxly as the thread of 11 e lengt ens. If the persons among whom we decide to dis- tribute our presents object to ublicity, and desire that no mention be made of t eir names, we W111 respect their wishes in the matter and forward Bresents to any address mentioned without the nowledge of even a third rsomOAll communi- cations addressed to us wil be promptly answered and all correspondence regarded as sacredlv eon. tidential. In writing, address TEE PARISIAN MEDICAL 00.. (Canadian Branqli). 32 to 34 ADELAIDE ST. E.- TOROIN 0. __â€"-.. anuvnw uU mu: “0 Iuyo nHul follies“. loss of energy mental worry or over work. should use Health gymbu They act es pecially upon 1:! no bladder and kidneys, and resume the vxgor ot {But}: to all failing organs. both hphysical and men Suffering ‘‘c.mel1!g‘]eg!'1Eit'e.,A " BheandachwesagFMm" in th hefibnntb, consti pat: on, 1188, irregular! ies and mental de- pression. shoud duse Health Pills. They relieve these symptoms. rify the blood stren hen .l‘xe nerves. regulate t e bowels, and assist ature in _ev_ery_w_ay. 9 YOUNG WOMEN Si‘fifi‘l‘lofim‘l’enfilg weakness, scantiness, suppression of their sick- nose heaadache, w hitezhpId pain in the back and beat-mg down pains,e 1011 use Health Pills. They restore the month] 103 in all cases, build up the system. enrich the blood oodand make the face plump, bright and may y. ’â€" M’DDlEAG MEN "Sufi‘ering fr om premature deco. kidney or bladder trEoublea.t 9 results of youthtg full]!!! Inn: (14' nun-u." ml._s -I _._~__ Y” "N 6 ME" Who suffer from exces'ses of youth, nocturnal emissions mental wo , over-work or sleeplessness. shou 1d uge Health 115. They will stop your troubles. mve you enprgy and strength. and make you yourself agam, _ _____ â€"--v u-w unalu'nurfik‘f and worn-out busmeas man finds them es ,cially adapted to his case. They give new [fife and energv. and make hard work eas . DR. MARZ'S HEALTH PILLS s BENG- THEN THE BODY AND BRIGHTEN mm BRAIN. a EVERYBODY NEEDS A PUMP. THOMAS GILLoTT, _v..- v..- wuo v7 V16. DllUulu [Here hen» correct answers, the presents will be dis- trixmted among those whose answers are nearest the correet number. Each answer must . be accompanied by 50 cents In silver or stamps to pay for apex of Dr. Marz's Health Pills. we sell you the pills and give you the resent. To any person who is dissatisfied and oes not find the Pills exactlyas we represent them, we will return their money. Our sole object in making this extraordi- nary ofl’er is to mtroduce this excellent remedy into every home in America. - AS A Tau") Health Pills have no e‘cuul. The tired brain-worke. and worn-out business man finds them especially adapted to his (mm: m in. Man _-â€"â€"» ,. - lreve wy.’ ID. {er AGED ....w u. ~cuumuen's sues as desired. In addition we Wil'llgive ONE HUNDRED EXTRA PRESEN s PATTERNS. VALUABLE PIECES OF JEWELLERY. USEan AND PRETTY the. correct number. Each answer must . be accompanied by 50 cents m silver or stamps to pay for a box of Dr. Marz's Health Pills. \Ve sell you the pills and give you the resent. To any per§on who is dissatisfied and oes not "find-the PIlls 933 (3th SIR wn rnnrnannL LL A“ M can. for years afterwards, I delighted possessors as an ev exactly as we promise. The w gentegiiq ladies’ or gentlemen’ EUREKA PUMP, .. , , a-.-“ “nag. A sample watch 13 'now on exhibition at our office. andcan be seen by an person interested; so it'cur sincerity is doubted t a person may call, or have a friend-do so. and see that they are all we claim. emember each one is first-class and will be acoum anied by aéuarantce from the maker. WE lgfiESEhT OLD WATCHES in this gowpejitjon in preference tn pnncnu nn ,3 u. uuc un rel'b answer-we will give each an ele ant GOLD WATCH.O with ELGIN, “’gALTI-IAM. DUEBER HAMPDEN. er other first-class movement. Wewfllglve the same to the senders of the three cormct answers, whq are equally far “1‘6 Efié‘éték tfiée‘é“ "; answer .we will gig: 33323333140 with 1 _In our last. competition, In which we had a circle containing 545 dots, we had answers rang- ing from 300 to 2,000,000. On the whole, however, our customers counted better than we expected. At the close of the competition the winners were notified of their success, and the presents awarded Just as we advertised. As a proof of this and as an evidence that yve have kept Perfect faith with our patrons, we mu send_a comp ete list ofwinners (excepting those objecting- to publicity) to any address on receipt of a 3 cent stain to pay postage. “’e do this instead of publishing t cm on account of the iist being so ver large. In our present competition we present t e above star and ask our customers to count the dots as theydid with those in the circle. With it we make this offer :â€" To the first threg‘persons sending in the ”meet answer WA will vn an“). -_ _., . A , E Count the D0t§ , _._-- "w Luau xuugcr, and years afterwards, 6e shown by the possessors as an evidence that we do wg promise. The watches will be pre- adles’ or 1gentjemen’s siz§§__as desired. )n “up “7; M..- . GREEN, '. GREEN Undertaker, u ruaranme from the maker. r 60m) WATCHES in this preference to PURSES 0F as a rule the last longer. apd a - -" ‘ arunnulu .._v â€".v-. I‘ll Le bowels, and assist 5531;: Health Pills yield soqnd and ref _resh in; sleep, give nknAâ€"A' â€"-â€"- slee ve _o Ithgpgllnd vicinity that- he has opened 3. Photograph Gallery. in the village and will be pleased to receive orders for all kinds of PnoTOGRAPflS. CARIES DE "ISITB. CABINET, etc.. in the best style of the art and at rnnlr haw...“ “.4“- HE subscriber he s to announce to the is; residents of Mill rook and Any person requiring a. thoroughly reliable article in» the abox‘re line can procure the very best; from H. McCartneyi New Store at Deyell’s corner. Wines ! Any person or persons found cutting or removing any timber off Lot 3, Con. l, Gavan, will be prosecuted according to law, andI have appointed A. D. P. Roohe my agent to look after same and invested him with full power to enforce the law. JOHN J ACKSON, Kendall. P. S. The above property is for sale and will be sold cheap apply to A. D. P. Roche or .1 axe PHOTOGRAPH axe GALLERY. .I'ms uh‘ "sum. (mnmm, etc.. ixiftié style of the art and at rock bottom DI‘ICSS. A Raw-Hide Whip, from butt to tip, for $1 Good Inch German Snap, only 256 Per Dozen Everything Else Accordingly at - - - : Undertaker and Practical Embalmer. Jon-m GlLfiLOTT, i'“ Best of Testimonials can be given $32 ’17] m at ' 85¢Bo'rms; ARTIST, NOTICE. BATESON’S In cases of Liquors. JOHN JACKspN, Ontario. IS . Kendall. Scott’s Emulsion cures Coughs, Golds, Consumption, Scrofula, and all Anaemia and Wasting Diseases. Prevents wasting in Children. Almost as palatable as milk. Get only the genuine. Prepared by Scott a: Bowne, Belleville. Sold by all Druggists, 50 cents and $1.00. any one can see t Scott’s Emu/Sim of Pure N of“ HYPOPhOSphit he beneficial 7‘? and 50d?! upon the face and fnrn In Great Variety and of and Examine Them. Best Make 0f Watches in field And Silver IF YOU WANT ASET OF REAL That is well wonh your attention. are sold at r01 During the next Iew days. Room wanted for stock. Particular value in Gilts. BUY THE BEST SEE. A Fine Line of Platedwape WE HAVE ALSO RECEIVED A VERY LARGE STOCK OI GARDINER AND YOU WILL BUY THE CHEAPEST. WALL PAPER J¢F=UIALTvu LARGE STOCK OF SPECTAGLES OPPOSITE TOWN HALL, MILLBROOK. GOOD HARNESS as Coughs, 1! Serofula, “1 Wasting wasting in palatable as ineu Prepared 3. Sold by an 0. FOR BARGAINS in HAS ON HAND A FINE LINE OF CALL ON E' the Latest Patterns. . They Can’t be‘Beatc at Lowest Prices. new Finest a l'. “info”. A assignee. Books ope counts oolleqtod. Assir ‘ am all dermis oomnb R given to book-keen" a permancv" gcientil .l o BROOK. Fanners' discoanted. Drafts issue Cd: and th.‘ Lnined State collection 0: sale and at! Imus made on real esu Pamberton, Professom Inter C R0 13.1 School 01 now prepar _ to receive mental. at hm residence. instruction at any hour. Husics! instruments at promptly attended to. each month. Pon'ty’po’oi ARENTS AND THE LY are respectfully OJ 0 Oflioe and résidenge he at Queen‘s Howl. M111 W. CLARKE. L.D.S o uttention given to u natural teem. Nitrous ( less extraction of teeth. ( Will be at Bethany the z}: 3. L First-class loans 3nd invested. Mex-cam general law business. IDDELL. ARMSTI Barristers. Solicito: b0 and Brighton. 1 LL . A. J. Armstrong 8- vv “w. fluid at Law, Solicitor, Block. “’almn Stgreet. land on the secunty of {arm property for sale. iéiveEE'ximâ€"s. C. MCKINNON. l o sor go Dr. Aiddrie Umversitges. Licentiaa goons, Edmburvh. Mex: sud Surgeons, Mario. g3 snore. After 011 n 's residence. RITE PRESTOI J. A. V. Preston Notaries. memes, w hook, 011;. md Beth ye In every mg RCHIBALD “'00! RIAGE LICENSE. Keeps constantly on b; mum of all kinds. No trouble to show go Manufacturer of the‘ Hachlne. The best: JOHN _ The above is the Lit Just published. a com the G. T. t. town tic] certainly a complete 1 of families in Chicau visitors during the pc bian Exposition. also city. Chicago is plail map. Those who inu should avail Ihemsclv posting themselves. 1 meme as to rooms, (3 leaving home. The us free to all. at the .30 1". AL. arrive at man Drawing-r0 \‘Vagner Car and go. Dining Cars 1 11.001). M" arrive (ll “'agner Cars :uu 1m%t.. arrive Cl Pullman (Jars a Chicago. WJISHER, Vim “ HOMES FOR WORI FIVE TRA! N S LEAV] NG Pullman Bufl’et L00 P. M.. arrive ( Car to Port Hut For! Huron to - M '[orpmo to Dem 7.50 3.}I. arrive World’s COLLINS CO‘ Vol. MARRIAG CABINE' PROFE: works July. It is S} acquired the Gal! There The V a large being at the tra actors, : Tuesd New Y1 Cornelia with am ence of ‘ the city Mom known ran am by a. fatally jut-edâ€" t‘ north ‘9