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2 . i ghee i ig Lam PORT PERRY. t Fos a TTA y luis i ib i mrss ranet i oe t fps sue Fria 1 A |nunierous patrons FaBiy NEWSPAPER, Gopgighs ah the Regsrton of Trad er ABP UBGISERD "AT AY & PA PARSONS. ii : hing pram © paid dae i ht " * oon, T Sail = 50 will be charged. No | arrears |. Hn Advertisments wo Ey by Nonpareil, +24 cincged sorting tothe space they ac Se tavid for publication, wi io Vigo ns, will be inserted antil nl fordia sud accordingly. No advertisment will bs taken out until paid for. TA ount/ allowed to Merchants and adyertise by the year or half-year. Sy en tn alk oes be Job Department. Phamplets; Hand Bills, Posters, Pro- grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt Books, Cheoks, Books, Circulars, "Business Oards, Ball Cards, &c., of every style and woo, ¢ executed promptly and at lower rates shan gay gther establishment in the County. Parties from a distance getting hand , &c. printed can have them done to take home with them. H. PARSONS. J. BAIRD, ___ | may rely on the utmost attention being 6iven, M. D,, Coromer, Physician, c. RE FG & I Port Perry. Residonce--Oflice door west of the "Presby terian Church. Coronor for the County of hysician, Surgeon and Ac- ~ R. WAR! Ontario, ooucheur, . Prince Albert. H. SANGSTER, M. D., Physician, Sur- « geon and Accoucheur, @6Fofier for the County of Ontario PORT PERRY. Of ver Sars Euptiiture Store, corner of uee Perr, 'hours oa . to12 m. Realdence, the dwelling recently oceupied oy Mrs. Geo, Paxtgn. eminem id en, Dy MCGILL & RAE, Physclans, Surgeons, &e, Shes Rn ek, King st. y Oshawa, Wi. N'GILL, M.D. FRANCIS RAE, M,D. hy fo Ghar [AENEY G GRIST. THE WALE FURS, Y MORNING, 3 1 eade TIE VILE nd Designs procured. Drawings, Macks vd and other "Documents neces- sary to secure Patents of Invention, on receipt of the model of the Invention. Auctioneers. - M. WILLCOX, mol olin Doms LICENSED AUCTIONEER; FOR THE COUNTY OF ONTARIO. AND TOWNSHIPS OF MARIPOSA & OARTWRIGHT, public generally, for the liberal patron- age bestowed upon him for the past five years. Having now given up the business of Bailiff, I intend, in future, to devote my whole time to the business of. Auctioneer, Collecting, &c. It will be my endeavor, by prompt and careful attention to business, ' to give full satisfaction to all who may fayor me with their Sales or Collecting. Bi'ls draughted and Blank Notes furnished free of charge. Also Bill Stamps always on hand. Office, Port Perry. W. M. WILLCOX, Prince Albert, Oct. 25, 1873. Lost vad ao | gros to thank his many friends and the | stantly increasing patronage which' bas nécessitated a continued dT ofthe ' accommodations THE WALKER HOUSE whether for éxtent or quality of Province al surpassed by | none out of the best cities, i Somercicl Travelers, we Ue Duden VIE ae THE WALKER HOUSE all that can be required in the matter of accommodation and moderation in charges. Charges are No Higher at the ater House than at any 'other Hotel in Town. The House is fitted up throughout in FIRST CLASS STYLE. The Tables and Bar supplied with the choice of the market and the utmost atten- tion paid to 'the convenience and comfort of ALL GUESTS. Au abundance of comfortable Stable and Arcangements can be made: for sales &c., at the Opserver Office, and at the Standard | T [JAS X. Shed accommodation, and attentive hostlers, T, WALKER. Port Perry, Sept. 1, 1675. 36 pos PERRY HOUSE, PORT PERRY, ! "PHOMPSON, - PROPRIETOR, Wr Gordon, Licensed Auctioneer, Valuator, &e. OR the Township of Brock, Uxbridge, ' Scott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mariposa and Eldon, Bey Parties entrusting their Sales to me to their interests. WM. GORDON, Sunderland, Brock. THOS. H. WALSHE. i ably furnished, and Guests are cared for in The above House is now most comfort- the Home Style." Good Liquors and Cigars, also, firsticlass Stabling and good Ostlers.-- Additions have been made which maker this | the largest and best House in this section of Yount Fare $1.00 per Day, \ENISON'S DOMINION | HOTEL, At the Railway Station, PORT PERRY. ICENSED Auctioneer for the Township of Brock, Thorah, Mara & Rama in, North Outario; Mariposa, etc., in the County ! of Victoria. Residence--Cannington, Brock. | Orders left at this office, or at his residence will be I tually attended to. Debts col- | lected in Cannington, or otherwise, and | prompt. remittances made, Remember-- WALSHE ' the Norgh Ontario Auction. | eer. WHITBY | STEAM MARBLE WORKS. J. & R. WOLFENDEN, HOLESALE and Retail dealers in Wi and American Marble Man- TM. F. MCBRIEN, M.D, M. R. (*. 8, Guy's "Hespital, London, England. The liye R. hii iid Oshawa, E. MARTIN, M. D. Simcoe St., Twodoors C.% North of the Central Hotel, Oshawa. -- oy E. FAREWELL, LL. B,, County Crown Attorney for Ontari Batristen, Attorney, 4 leitor, and Notary Pu . Oftice lately oc- by 8. H. Sehrate Esq., Brock street, Whitby. YMAN L. ENGLISH, LL. B., Solicitor in L 'Chancery, Attorney, Conveyancer, &c. Oshawa. Ofiice--Simecoe street, opposite the Post Office. OUNG SMITH, LL. B.,, Barrister, At- G SEERA, Solicisal ; 2 Chenery, and Insolvency, Notary 'ubilc, & OMco--MoMillan's phic rook » rect, Whithy. at Law, teitors County on OfMooss Court House, Whitby. H. J. MACDONNELL. and Attorns Leouncil, Ontaris lo. 2, 0, CAMERON, P. Attorney at Law, and Solicitor A OmMce i the Royal Arcade, Port Perry. "W. Maurice Cochrane, FORN] Y-AT-LAW, Solicitor in Chan- gy, Sous Public ho, bo. | | i RT 'from 9 a.m, to 5 p.m. 5 o Loan at 8 per cent, on all Kinds of 200d 'security. Office, Bigelow's Royal Arcade, PORT PERRY. a o.N D8. BETH iase: ERE princi- ples of the att, and as of as the heap racted out pain by producing local anasth- est, sia; | : Cowan's mew block, over Af 's. Dyug, Store, King Street, Oshawa. y KovNTRTAe XB : CHAS. THORN, VS. Toff the Vat stilute, WEEE of First Prize Soupon ated Sept. 16, 186 oeing. fe "Thorn to ammounce that he bas sabenp his hy at Port Perry, and is | to 'treat al} cases eptrusted to 'fhe most skillful and scientific 4) AMMlignders Yoft at the Medioal Hall of Mr Allison, will receive itn b A er We 'WESTERN ASSURANCE, COMP'Y gi 8 = } ; NE, 1 = ay x 0 OBOX Als ¥ 5 1 Wilitox, phi 1A a of. Whitby, has, y Rivas eT ah Capital -" $400,000. Avy sane lly at- oF" Ona Egat. : Marriog ve FEicenses ET AMERON 3) aA MONNELL, Barristers | Under the New Act. tles, Monwbeats, 'kec., Dundas St , Whitby. Also, Agent for the Scottish Granite, Also Building Stone cut to order, i JOHN NOTT, Agent, Port Rn | Whitby, July 29, 1874. R. RICHARDSON, | Re-appointed Issuer of Office, lot 10, in the 1st con. Brock. Brock, Aug. 5,1874, 33 New Marriage Act. Port Perry, sui 1st, Migk ono rn CHARLES having been re- appointed Marriage License nl-- (after sixteen years duty) continues to fyr- nish Licenses as heretofore--at Port Perry. 1874. JH L== OF DIVISION-COURTS FOR THE County of Ont axios Fou THE YEAR 18765. = 8 2 wove | July ~ The comfort and convenience of guests best Liquors and Cid ¥Cigars. Good SI Every attention given to the accommoda- ticn and comfort of guests. i bar supplied with the best the Market af fords. Chaice Liquors and the best brands of Cigars. Excellent stable and shed ac- , commodation, and attentive ostlers, D. B. DENISON, Proprietor. 1 EVERE HOUS MAN By GEO. HOUCK. Having leased the above excellent Hotel it will be my endeavor to conduct it in every parlicular so as to mevit the appro- | bation and patronage of fhe public, Manchester, Oct. 6, ers 'ROYAL HOTEL, . WHITBY. ALPHONSO HINDE, HESTER. ~ PROPRIETOR. careful attended to, Excellent accommodation of Commercial Travelers. A. H. _Wiithy, Avg. 12 12,1875, UEENS HOTEL, Coruer of Cameron and Laidlaw Sts. CANNINGTON, Ox. accomm dations is. equalled by few: Hotels in the gnutial hein. nina, The table and | "AND. GENERAL 1 elo! prvmerer > hema Lakers All of a-useful character. Port Perry, Dec, 6th, 1875, PORT PERRY LIVERY STABLES, C. MK E NZIE, PROPRIETOR. Hes Supsariber having now fully equipped his new and extensive Livery Stables with a supplyof superior Horkes and Carriages, 1s prepared to, furnish first class LIVERY RIGS On Moderate Terms. C. McKENZIE. Port Perry, Aug. 6, 1873. MM ~ - ot - a ele RAR Sil {FURS RENOVATED, CLEAN- WEEPAIRED AND SET 'vp 43 | STYLISH AS NEW FURS ATL SMALL COST. Te Subscriber would take this oppor- tunity of imforming the ladies of Poré Perry, and surrounding townships that she . D. CAMPBELL, ProprieTor 'This Hotel js now furnished in the best style, and offers every accommodation to} v travelews B@F™ First class Sample Rooms. Livery | attached Cannington, Oct, 20, 1875. A Mustroxa HOUSE, 43 (LATE ALBION, WHITBY," ONTARIO. * E. ARMSTRONG, PROPRIETOR. L AGM ERIAY HOTEL, _ PRINCE ALBERT. W. H, PARK, PROPRIETOR. Having purchased the above pleasantly situated Hotel, 1 have. thoroughly repaired and renovated the entire premises even to the Sheds. The Hotel has been furnished Strict attention paid to the comfort of Bue. table and bar well =i, . Prince Albert, June 12, 1875. ox HOTEL, MANCHESTER. Good accommodation. to tive requirements of ar. i 'Fhe bar supplied fit o the bes Li JAMES T. HEARD, Th lv on | has again entered on her winter business in the Fur line at her residence one door west of the brick cottage, Union Avenue, Port Perry, and 18 now prepared to execute all orders in way of Cleaning, Renovating, Repairing, and altering in the best styie all Furs 'entrusted to her care, With many thanks for the liberal pat- ronage bestowed upon me in the past winter # renewal of that patronage is solicited. MRS. E. DRINKWATER. A number of Ladies' Fur Caps just made -{ up and ready for sale. Tanning done on short notice and in the best style. MRS. E. D. Port Perry, Nov. 2, 1875. 4 OR THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE."-- See Deuteronomy, chap. xiv, verse 23. 3 OLARKE'S World' Famed Blood Mixture. Frade Mark--*' Blood Mixture," THE GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER AND RESTORER. For cleansing and clearing the blood from a impurities cannot be too highly recommend- "For Scrofula, Scurvy, Skin Diseases, and sores of all kinds it is a neversfailing and per- Joapent cure, It Sire) 2 Sores. res Ulcerated and Sore Legs. Jareel inckbends, or x pimples on the face. Cures § Lvirty Jores Cures Cancerous Cures Blood and Sen Diseasos. Cures Glandural Swellings. Clears the Boad from all om impure Matter. rom whatever cause arisin 2lto the requirements of travelers.and guests. 3 The barsupplied with the best wines, iguors ? | and cigars. Good stabli ing." 5 a i -------- rT ) JIONEY J- MONEY ! ; pot Perry, Mach 1,00 MEE "To xoirkid bok edt ad ls EXCHANGE HOTEL, 'WILLIAMSBURG, a ga, E. BRYANS, Propriétc " hecrit having: stiocesded Mr. ason rns 3 oe d commodious Hotel has red hotter | nor Se HH with i class of an nd b of Cigars. abies Ee of the sf and attentive / Willigmsbarg, pee. § UBEN'S HOT, peril or 1 Q . DrARBLAND, © "Prépridtor. a Sha conven wll 3 [Private "Funas,) A = PHRF ol ood Visit, at 8 per cen LYMAN Tone st brands of et provided for the Tab! Excellgut, : m8, Yo Bri wr" $ FFoRE FAT ba: re i * Manchester, July 15, "1874. ad a As this mixtare is pleasant 3 tiie taste, and - An ted free fron anythin in arious to ihe ! 7 : t deligate constitution of either se. Pere HOUSE, « Propticto solicits sufferers to giveita Wiad to 'test its value. UTICA, Thousands of Testimonials from all parts. ttles 2s 2d-e: and in cases con- ; J» DAFOE, PROPRIETOR. taining six times the quantity, 11s each--suffi- Good accommodasions. Careful attention {cient to effect & permanent cure. in majority of long Standing eases, SoLD BY ALL CHEMSTS AND PATENT MEDICINE th t the me Sole Proprist x, F. J, (FLAKE, APOTHEOARIES' HAL INCOLN, Tamra, EXPORT AGENTS, an Piteces and Cos, Coli don Newbury 1 - Son Ee aut Son AR nd all Halsfoz-- Avery, Brown and Co. SRE LUGGAGE "TrixEN To AND FON T UND TO ------ (ia pre AND ARO n or anywhere lers promptly re erred 1 2. 4 HURD. oh 21, 1866. Gobi » Teg Port ery Ja. It, 1874, Rimes 'Holidays BIRD CAGES, all kinds, Round and Squars, aid very Cheap. - ow Cruits, 'Butter Bowls, Toast Racks, Goblets, Cfike Baskots, Ba A Call Solicited, "By {the b tures, the great VENDORS : : : A Growhing A Rarope aiid " ST Nevgrte St, Tondoh. © Sis fla , London. | Ee lon. STATION br | Li THE FOLLOWING vers FoR" Nichol and Silver Plated KNIVES, FORKS, apd SPOONS, and everything FOR SRESENIS Ww. T. ok PARRISH, "yp, c. FORMAN, {Inspector of Weights & Measures For, the County of Ontario. Port Putrulh Nov 1, 1875, NOSEY 70 LEAD! Unusually Low Rates of Interest ! Longs pan be repaid i in anys manner tosuit | Tower Also several Lproved a and Wild Lands for gale, cheap, Invéstments made in Municipal Deben- Bank and other marketable Stocks, Apply to JAMES HOLDEN, Official Assignee, Broker, &c. Orrice--Over the Dominion Bank, McMil- lan's Block, Brock st., Whitby. Whitby, April 10, 1873, AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS T" Subscribers having been engaged AGENTS FOR THE JOSEPH HALL Mantfctuing Company | ! OSHAWA, Would take ricult ph Watks, Oshawa, on th | shot TFyvorable Terms. | . The |Champion COMBINED REAPER and MOWER. THE CHAMBION SINGLE MOWER, THE CHANNON SINGLE REAPER, BROAD:0.AS DRILLS. Any the WISNER'S SQOLKEY HORSE-RAKE. THRESHING| MACHINES, &C. nfl Diplomas Awarded the Arfweeping Triumph in the New 111 Curb al y legale Hopges. AGENTS 1x OAR . . , E. WALKER, Montreat, Evans, M a i? Wholesale 4 +/+ 'H. B/JOHNSON, i Port Perry, Deq 3, 1874. Hie hots gy] Bice YIDADS, re and Co. TL . Toronto--Klliott and Cb. lesale Druggists ) CARMICHABL, = u Shapter and BOR. a, § » . Agent at Sunderland, *A' Hamilton ~Winet and Go. "ut 'oui chi i Yoiiin! Jeon sufi Jo fan at 45:40 The undersigned has any amount of Money to lend upon Farm and Town Property, at is opportynjty of ieg the Farmin he of this section of country thatghey mre preparca to furnish | Machine manufactured at 1 Merleuring Company's i and the Most | SOWERS and seouz 14 highest Prize Medals impion in' Eiirope for 1873. ittory in the old world 11 ~ richie ta hong , in, Crowning {Hing of the Harvest Field: JSSUER OB.» ,, ci ah or Piicenges? One. déor wit of thie' Walker 'Hough |" Port Perey +. pan awob baad - ADVERTISER a a © PORT PERRY. PROVINCE OF ONTARIO, THURSDAY, JAN. 6, 1876, th The OCampaigz. * I'think the campaigh, has q think 80 because & dranken nian' ran against me last night and. yelled : ' Rah for Thompson I' [ » 'And he bad scarcely sear out of sight when another, intoxicat- "fed individual came running round the corner and hioarsely "inquired : 'Where's the reptilé that called gur candidate a horse-thief ? Apps in the, evening several nen n front of my bouse and thus "| addressed me as I slumbered : "Come down here, you old gray headed heathen, and give us money to buy powder!' I didn't go down, apd the un~ hinged and carried off my gate and broke down two shade trees. As I said at the start I don't keep myself posted in politics, but T am convinced that j the campaign has opened ; tliie is the way, if I remem- ber rightly, that all campaigns have opened for the last fifteen years. This morning I whs selecting a roast at the butcher's a man with red eyes and wicked face came up, slapped me on the back, and as he twisted around so as to give me the tull force of his tanyard breath he remarked : 'Gimme yor bundles holler for Johnson I' He seizef'my hand and shook me round and-gontinued : 'I kin lick any human bein' who says.a word agin Johnson V 'Who's Johnson ?' I asked. ¢ Who's Johnson ?' he echoed, gaz- ing at mé ii astonishment and in- dignation, 'why, he's lived in your ward for ten years. '1 pever met him.' ' Never did 2 Why, he keeps the biggest and best Stoo in the whole ward I' 'Ah Ho looked at me for a moment in a"puzzled way, not understanding what 'ab I' meant, aud then pulled off his coat and exclaimed : 'See here, maybe you're going to | cut Johnson and vote for Sp " "Maybe I-am* ' You are, eh I" he yelled. 'Youre | going to cut. Johnson off the reg 'lar | ticket and vote for that long haired | Spicer ?' A policeman took the man away just as he was preparing to demon- strate the freedom of the American | ballot box, and I got my roast and went into the grocery. Old Mr. Lovejoy and Mr. Arnold _happened in at the same time: I knew that they differed in politics, but also knew they were good men, and had been friends for twenty years. 'Going to be hot campaign, I guess,' remarked Mr. Arnold, as he hunted for a match to light his pipe. ¢ Oh, Idunno,' replied Mr. Tove- joy, 'I think we'll scoop yoa high and dry without much effort.' 'You will eh? Pll wager that you're the sickest looking man in the county before the snow flies.' 'Guess not,' said Mr. Lovejoy, ina nettled tone ; 'the people are tired of being robbed, and plundered, and burdened and roasted at the stake, as it were, and they are rising in their might to hurl the villanous party from power !' 'What party do you refer to, sir ?' demanded Mr. Arnold. ' Yours, sir,' replied Mr. Lovejoy. * Then you're a dotard and a liar,' said Mr Arnold. ¢ And I'l] knock you dowh I' cried Mr. Lovejoy ; and they struck and kicked' and fell over a barrel, and were Sepafated only to vow eternal enmity, * From now until the campaign is over 1 shall see such . things every day." As I come home men will de mand money 1o drink the health of this or that eandidate; men will seize and rush me into a saloon, and oblige me to swallow some villanous drink to show that I favor their can didate ; men will throw brickbats at me if L come up "a back street to avoid them. If Irideon a street car I shall hear men abuse and ma- lign every man on my party ticket; if I ride in the omnibus I shall bear |w men relate vilanons lids about every man on the other vieket.' The chances are that my ' batcher for their candid or hegauee.. 1 can't soe thi Frders | is a liar, hy- pavEits, horse | thief, burglar, and io, wing. come home to rest just as yi foyinig my B¥6t shy ac Fr ring my bell and want to know if I Lamno politician: myself, but 1 "tstrapped together. The bullets went I twelve to fifteen' miles. and tailor and grocer will fall out] i with;me because 1 refusg to. burrah gaol-breaket; while Morton' has to Wear'an overeoat to: 'hide hie' angel! During the day I, shall hear, all : these things down tow ik am. on this -- or city committee, In less. than hait hour some one will heave a rock against the door from across the street to remind me of the error of my ways. At midnight parties will come along and hurrah for 'sore one, and at daylight the nian who has been "laying wires!" 'at night will wink at me as he' goes along home. If I:take any "past 'in the campaign L must fold tickets and lay plans on' Sundays; reriain most of every night, drink with ev. ery man who asks me, treat every loafer encountered, lie about mien whose characters are above reproach and praise men who are got fit to associate with heathens." I sometimes think I wont have anything todo with politics. : young may avy 8 young woman, ang appeared to well pleased. 'Otie evening he calli whe it was quite oem young lady to inquire Wier iuiit n, 'I had to work to-night. Sensis ¢ What, do you work for & at she inquired in astonishment. 'Certainly,' replied the ydudg man, 'I am = mechanic.' Thon I deslilte the. name of inechamieg and she turned up her pretty nose; This was the last time the man visited the young lady. He ig now a wealthy man, and has one of the best women 1n the suniey Ae wife, The young lady who disliked name of a mechanic is now the of a miserable fool--a regular vag- grant about grog-shops--and the |[verdant, silly, miserable girl, is 'obliged ta take in washing in order to support herself and childrens You dislike the name of mechanie; eh ?--You, whose brothers are but well dressed loafers. We pity 'any' girl who is so verdant, so soft, to think less of a young man for being a mechanic--eone qt God's noblemen. --the most dignified and honorable of heaven's creatures. Beware, young ladies, how you treat young men who work for & living for you might ove day be menial to one of them. Far better discharge the well-fed pauper with all his rings, jewelry, bragenness, and pomposity, and to take youp affection the callous Landed, indus- trious mechanic. Thousands have bitterly repented. their folly who have turned their backs on honest industry. A few years have taught them a severg lesson. eee An astounding 'Weapon. Mr. Koykel, of Pagsiac City, N J., has for ten years past, in connec. tion with the New York mechanic, becn at work-on an invention which promises to revolutionizejord- nance. There was an exhibition, on Saturday, in public, of thé gun.-- The little one used on Saturday looked like a twelve foot gas-pipe, with a half pipe with a half-inch bore, carrying a needle-shaped bul let. On the under side of the gun are melallic pockets, each filled with as much ' powder as the load at the breach. As the gun is fired these additional charges of powder ex- plode as the projectile passes through the barrel, so that before it gets out it receives the impending force of each additional charge. Being prea along the barrel the danger an explosion is averted and the force increased to a wonderful degree The first shot fired was through a solid mass of monitor iron four in- ches thick, which the projectile pierced as though it were a pine board, and bnried itself several in- ches in an oaken stump, against which the iron had been placed. -- Then a shot was fired at a target |eomposed of twelve plates of three- {eighths inch plate iron securely An Instructive Scene In an Hong» lish Court. y Our recent fusion on Law and Equity Courts is working well in some cases. One case tried this , week was particularly amusing .-- The parties were both respectable men, but had worked themselves up nto a fury against each other, and had at last gove ieto Court. The entire sum in dispute was originally five shillings--about a dollar and a quarter. How much each had al- ready speatin trying to have his own way I do not know, but prop- ably if they had gone on the costs and expences would bave swallowed bundreds of pounds. Justice, Deman one of the newest judges, and a capital fellow, managed in the course of the trial to turn the whole case into a farce, and get the whole court, including the two belligerents into fits of laughter, He then simp, ly told the defendant to pay the five shillings, offering to lend him the sum if he had not enough by im. This of course, excited more laughter, but resulted in the follow- ing advice. Now, said the judge; cun't you two manage to shake hands? And shake bands they did in open court. That said the _judge Boy boxes the compass. is the ' power of law and equity.'-- ¢ Well, really, you can do it! Let|But I am told the lawyers don't }ke me hear you box it backwayd.' it. Boy boxes it backward. 'I declare, my son, you do seem to understand your business.' The boy now took his turn at question-asking. 'Pray, sir, what may be your business ?' 'I an a minister of the Gospel.' "* Do you understand your busi- ness ?' '1 think I do, my son. 'Cay you say the Lord's Prayer ?' through this. One of these cannons of six inch bore has been completed and will be tested before United | States officers in a few weeks, and it |is estimated will send a ball from ---------- A' Minister who Couldn't Stand the Test. | A well-known clergymaa was crossing Lake Erie many years ago upon one of the lake steamers, and, seeing a small boy at the wheel steering the_buat accosted him as follows : ' My son, you appear to be a small boy to steer so large a boat.' ¢ Yes, sir, but you see I can do it, though.' 'Do you think you understand your business my son ¥' ¢ Yes, sir, I think I do.' ¢ Can you box the compass ?' 'Yes, sir.' 'Let mo hear you box it.' There is a man in Indiana who takes thirty-two newspapers, and you might as well try to ride » whirlwind on a side saddle as fo try to impose upon that man, ' Have you any nice fresh farmer's éggs ?' inquired a precise old lady at a grocery store. 'No, ma'am,' replied the practical clerk, 'but we have some very good hen's eggs' hd She took three to fry. Yes) « It took Sir Isaac Newton less: d- > Say it.' - | three years to thoroughly digest the The Clergyman repeats the Lords principles of gravitation, while ap Prayer. Indiana farmer has spent eleven years trying to find out Why a "cow never kicks until 'the pail is two thirds full. @ oy The litile birds in Ludlow Saroowt Jail still sing, "Tweed, Tweed, : Tweed," but no Tweed appears, al "She Stoops to Conquer,' was, written before the dayy of pinback skirts. There's & woman in Califorajy Ho years old, who claims to be the old est woman in the world. : claim for & woman to make. Brida) tours are getting Toit of fashion, and 'the -yodng win 'enn ' Well, really, you do know it !-- Now say it backward, The Clergyman said he could not do it. 'You cannot doit, eh? Now, you see I understand. my business Rgrent deal better™shan yon do yours.' Clergyman acknowledges himself beatan, and retired. th hen man "fully realizes that should be enlarged, is when he finds that his wash woman bas mistaken his stockings for his shirt bosom and starched them accordingly. This is the Kind of weather that makes dnshing, young man wish that instead 'of [enjoy the tirst blissful days: Sallis pentiag a dollar and a balf for that a watchful eye of dis mothers ins ohd pin summer, he had judi Haw. ad} eetion Jo invested ie act adi No Chinese: bank no fuiled, " » five hundred yews. When ie o A. , |Tailare took place the officers' h were eut off and Rang: ines Broer with the other assets; Hon ol amen Says 'scientific anthorifv-<SPhin ihe. crop of Fuanvy this yop OU afi a chia o Three ain bulf fot wi Heif foot deep and four thousand: miies ---- Now, don't you wish you were adiyy ods aad HATOItaN That much. talked-of telescope, itn onid,| has Feally broaght the moon within ten | miles of the earfli. Onéi6r twb turns of the Jere say bring tha rhale thing down on 1 Le The efficiency of #he courts is serving to check somewhat the stringétcy of the (fon 8. More poor men are being hanged this season than ever before,