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a s rr tsa ts Forth. Ontario Obseruer, iar 2 A WEEELY ii lan Ag POLITIOAL, AGRICULTURAL, " 1 pv a FAMILY NEWSPAPER, ' uy a8] ¢ LEE any ; BEY 'THURSDAY MORNING, "BAIRD & "PARSONS. Ey ces hit, paid' in. ad avn) 0 will charged. No subsc: en for 1 n six months; and no Japer discontiniied until all arrears are Fontan ood ond bags boiog wR oor verre. i For Subieapent ingerth per line. Cards, under ny annum.,,... § 00 pF" Letters containing n money, when ad- dressed to this Office, pre-paid and regester- od, will be at our risk. Advertisments measured . by Nonpareil, wad charged acoording to the space they ac~ cupy, dont zreceixed, for publication, without specific instructions, will be inserted until fordid and chargéd accordingly. No advertisment will be taken out until paid for. A liberal discount allowed to Merchants and others who advertise by the year or half-year. BE These terms will in all cases be strictly adhered to. Job Department, Phamplets, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro- grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt Books, Checks, Books, Circulars, "Business Cards, Ball Cards, &c., of every style and color, "exceuted promptly and at lower rates than any other establishment in the County. Parties from a distance getting hand bills, &e. printed can have them done to take fome with them, J. BAIRD. ' H. PARSONS. vofensional Cavs. eee JONES, M. D,, Coroner, Physiclan, . Surgeon, &o. "Pore Perry. 1) RepidenetOmice door west of the Presby erfan Uhnreh. R. WA Coronor for the County of Ont pig Th Surgeon and Ac- oucheur, Prince Albert. HX SANGSTHER, M. D., Physician, Sur- « g9on-and Aceoucheur, Coroner for the County of Ortario ' PORT PERRY. Office over Nott's Furniture Store, corner of Quealt and Perry Streets. Office hours from § a.m. to 12 m. Rasidence, the dwelling recently occupied £y Mis. Geo, Paxton. S 7 B RS. MCGILL & RAL u &e., g< OI nd Reside neces, fi sty, 41 'Oshawa, WM. MGILL, MD. FRANCIS RAE, M.D. M. F. Mp CHRIE N, M.D, M. R. C. 8., Guy's Hospital, London, Bogland. The kye R. @rhawa, E. FAREWELL, Tn B., Sonny, A Attorney for Ontario, Bar Hy Sollee asd Natary Fab) )f @ plod by 8. H. Cochrane, Esq., Whitby. YMAN L. ENGLISH LL. i Sol Chaneery, Attorney, Conveyancer, &c. Oshawa. 0 Mece--Simcoe street, opposite the Post Office. YOUNG SMITH, LL. B,, Barrister, At- G. torney-at-Law, Solicitor in -Chancery, and Insoly ency, Notary Public, &e. GMmee--MoMillan's Block,- Brock street, Whitby. ema mg an odo TL or MACDONNELL, Barristers J and Attorneys at Solicitors County Gounal, Ontario. oh Court louse, i M, 6, CAMERON, IL J. M&CBONNELL P. A. HURD, Attorney 'at Law, and Solicitor An Chancery, Oflice in the Royal Arcade, i Port Perry. 'W. Maurice Cochrane, TTORNEY-AT-LAW, Solicitor in Chan- cery, Notary Public, xe. &ec. Office hours punctually from Sam. to5 p.m. Money to Lean at 8 per. cent, on all kinds of good security. Siice; Bigelow's Royal Arcade, PORT PERRY. C. N. VARS, L. D. 8. ETH igs ered, on all the latest princi- ples of the 'art, and as cheap as the cheap- est, and good as the best. Tecth filled with. Taetd and TSilver, Teeth extracted without pain by producing local 'anwsth- esia, Deatical Rooms--in Cowan's new block, over Atkinson's Drug Store, King sian] hap EE 0 VOL. XVIII, NO. 4.! .. 290 081 « 002, | FOR THE COUNTY OF ONTARIO, Ander the New Act. * | 1st non. Brock. HENRY GRIST, PATENT SOLICITOR AND DRADGHTSMAN, OTTAWA, CANADA, Transticts business i, fie, Patent Office Ee : d the fr f ghts an. © of Trade ye and Designs procured. es, Specifications, and other D neces- sary to secure Patents of Invention, prepared on receipt of the model of the Invention. Auctioneers. LIPENSED AUCTIONEER, AND TOWNSHIPS OF MARIPOSA & OARTWRIGHY, EGS to thank his many friends and the public generally; for the liberal patron- age bestowed upon him for the pastfive years. Having mow' given up the business of Bailiff, I intend, in future, to devote my whole tite to the busmess of Auctioneer, Collecting, &c. It will be my endeavor, by prompt and careful attention to business, to give full satisfaction to all who may favor me with their Sales or Collecting. Bi'ls draughted and Blank Notes furnished free of charge. Also Bill Stamps always on hand. Arrangements can be made for sales &c., at the Osgeryer Office, and at the Standard Office, Port Perry. W. M. WILLCOX, Prince Albert, Oct. 25, 1873. Wm. Gordon, Licensed Auctioneer, Valuator, &e. OR the "Township of Brock, Uxbridge, ®cott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mariposa and Eldon, F Parties entrusting their Sales to me may rely on the utmost attention being given to their interests. WM. GORDON, Sunderland, Brock. THOS. H. WALSHE. TICENSED Auctioneer for the ¥ownship L of Brock, Thorah, Mara & Rama in North Ontario ; Mariposa, etc., in the County of Victoria. Residence--Cannington, Brock. Orders left at this office, or at his residence will be punctually atte nded to, Debts col-- lected in Cannington, or otherwise, and prompt remittances made. Remember-- WALSHE, the.North Ontario Auction- eur. WHITBY £1 MARBLE WORKS. J. & R. WOLFENDEN, J Y HOLESALE and Retail dealers jn Foreign and American Marble Man tles, Monuments, &c., Dundas St , Whitby. Algo, Agent for the Scottish Granite. Also Building Stone cut to order. JOHN NOTT, Agent, Port Perry. | 32 Whitby, July 29, 1874. W. M. WILLCOX, [5s THE WALKER HOUSE PORT PER PERRY. EE Subscriber embraces this opportunity of his sincere thanks to his)| numerous patrons for the liberal and con- stantly inc _ patronage - which has accommodations till now THE WALKER HOUSE whether for extent or quality of accommo: dations is equalled by few Hotels in the Province and si by none out of the es. Commercial Travelers, the Traveling ublic, Farmes and othéts doing business in the Village ane 4 ie ? general public will THE WALKER HOUSE all that ein be in the matter of accommodation and moderation in charges; The Charges are No Higher at the Welker House than at any other Hotel in Town. : "The House is fitted up throughout in FIRST CLASS STYLE. The Tables and Bar supplied with the choice of the market and the utmost atten~ tion paid to the tonvenience and comfort of ALL GUESTS. An abundance of comfortable Stable and Shed accommodation, and attentive hostlers. T, WALKER. Port Perry, Sept. 1, 1675. 36 r= PERRY HOUSE, PORT PERRY JAS. V. THOMPSON, - PROPRIETOR. The above House is now most comfori- ably furnished, and Guests are cared for in the Home Style.© Good Liquors and Cigars, also, first class Stabling and good Ostlers.-- Additions have been made which maker this the largest and best House in this section of Tebly Fare $1.00 per Day. \ All of a useful character. Port Perry, Dec. 6th, 1875. THE FOLLOWING USEFUL ABFICLES FOR Xmas Holidays ' BIRD CAGES; alt kinds, Round and Square, ard very Cheap. ~~ - * Nichol'and Silver Plated KNIVES, FORKS, and SPOONS, Cruits, Butter Bowls, Toast Racks, Goblets, Cake Baskets, and everything FOR PRESENTS ! per A Call Solicited. Bg W. T. PARRISH. Measures, !'Oh; ou, they say we're nesrs Let's prove it now we'vp got the lel 1s yours--in fact, you're alla treasure ; Your pretty mouth ig less than mine But for the proof, now let as measure." eet A ---- The Absurdity of it. It 1s all very well for th poets to rt Go vl pista ta ly At five o'clock in the mornfilg, out doors, At five o'clock in the morning. But, between me and you, it is all untrue, Believe not a word they utter ; Bring beaux or even bring butter, To poor sleepy cows, if told toarouse, Would do so, perhaps, in & born-ing ; their curls At five o'clock in the morning. song-- Or the moon--if anxious to settle, To kneel on wet grass, and pop, but alas | What if he popped down on a nettle ? knee 1f, in spite of my friendly warning, head, At five o'clock in the morning, It is all very well such stories to tell, EN] SON'S DOMINION HOTEL, At the Railway Station, PORT PERRY. Every attention given to the accommoda- tion and comfort of guests. The table and bar supplied with the best the Market af fords. Choice Liquors and the best brands of Cigars. Excellent stable and shed ac- commodation, and attesative ostlers, D. B. DENISON, Proprietor. EVERE HOUSE, MANCHESTER. By GEO. HOUCK. Having leased ¢he above excellent Hotul it will be my endeavor to conduct it in every particular so as to merit the appro- bation and patronage of the public, Minch tery Oct 8 6, 1815, The comfort and convenience of guests careful attended to. Excellent accommodation of Commercial Travelers. A. H. Whitby, Aug. 12,1275. oa HOTEL i Corner of Cameron and Laidlaw Sts. CANNINGTON, Oxr. D. CAMPBELL, . ProprieTOR RR. RICHARDSON, Re-appointed Issuer of Marriage Fiicenses Office, lot 10, in the Brock, Aug. 5,1874. 33 Act. 1874. New Marriage rer Port Perry, July Ist, ere' ENRY CHARLES having been re- appointed Marriage License Agent-- (after sixteen years duty) ti to fur. nish Licenses as heretofore--at Port Perry. PORT PERRY LIVERY STABLES; i style, and offers every accommodation to travelers | g@¥ First class Sample Rooms. Livery | attached. Cannington, Oct. 20, 1875. 43 This Hotel is now furnished in the best A srnoNg HOUSE, " (LATE ALEIORN,) a. WHITBY, 'ONTARIO. E. ARMSTRONG, PROPRIETOR. A RLO-ANERIOAN HOTEL, PRINCE ALBBRY. W. H. PARK, - - - PROPRIETOR. Having purchased the above pleasantly situated Hotel, 1 have thoroughly repaired |! and renovated the entire premises even to the Sheds. The Hotel has been furnished in First-Class Style and Stocked with the 'best Liquors and Cigars! Strict attention paid to the comfort of guests. The able and bar well supplied. W. H. PARK. Prince Albert, June 12, 1875. NION HOTEL, MANCHESTER. JAMES T. HEARD, ProPRIETOR. Good accommodations, Careful attention to the requirements of travelers and guests. The bar siipphied | Lik the best Liquors and Cigars. Good Stal OEN CHRISTIE; «| 0 ida TOWNSHEP OLERE, re -- | Gill db--3rasiclies ra an sedtiadin odd of re adi SATAY ONEY TO LOA "eo r cept interest M5 Rent Beta, = 2 P. A. HURD. ] Ti Loan on good Pause, ut § "per dent in LYMAN ENGLISH, Any est 1 mane ee ee largest Monetary Institution in Canada. up Capital $1,500,000 T. C. FORMAN, r C. FORMAN, Tr 18SUER OF WANTED TO PURCHASE, will be allowed. rajsois for the Canada Soclety, the cheapest We nappa n from 2 to 20 yeal Several good farms for sale. ZT Agents for several first class Fire surance Companies. Collections made and a general agency busi- ness transacted. 2&~ DEBENTURES BOUGHT."&R General Agents, Port Perry, Oct. em ee 1872, NONE 70 LEAD! The iis has any amount of Money to leud upon Farm and Town Property, at Unusually Low Rates of Interest! Loans can be repaid in any manner to suit he borrower. Apply to JAMES HOLDEN, (13 CLARKE'S: Pa port Perry, March 19, 1874. 12 | November, 21,1866. pr ------ ER -- a Ll Inspector of Weights & Measures For the County of Ontario. Port Perry, Nov 1, 1875. Marriage Licenses. One door west of the Walker House Port Perry. MONEY TO LOAN | MORTGACES WANTED. HE Subscribers have large sums of mon- we bby r of Mortgages for which the Ligh Instalments re-pay Lands Bought and Sold. JOHN & DAVID J. ADAMS, Offlee in Mr. Ross' Ontario Buildings, Port Perry. Also several Improved Farms, and Wild Lands for sale, cheap. Investments made in Municipal Deben- tures, Bank and other marketable Stocks. Official Assignee, Broker, &c. -Orrice--Over the Dominion Bank, McMil- 1an's Block, Brock st., Whitby. Whitby, April 10, 1878, OR THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE."-- See Deuteronomy, chap, xii., verse 23. GO TO 45:tf Per- and Paid able AND In PLAIN AND FANCY Zh BOOKS CHEAP AND COOD. ns Ee 'Neo. 18. Takes eflect on We.nesday, 8th Dec, 1875. Trains Going Norta. WIL HCCHR IBWBLB Wa Fancy Goods! STATIONERY, {General Supplies for Schools W. H. McCAW. Port Perry, May 6, 1874. Pita NN EATEW, & Pon? PERRY EXTEN- But if I were a maid all forlorn.ing, And a lover should doop, ia the clover, Pop, At five o'clock in the morning ; at three," If not, I'd turn on him scoraing ; 8.7 ac plenty of lovers.' laced in their hands Gr mvestment on | Choice, Valuable, and Chea; ; . ROYAL HOTEL, Spe bm vil ron wed , P| But they do not suit me? said other Seeur; nd adloinin t 3 rbar; 5 i , : br Seeuniio i thisind slniving Cogltlonl 5 Barbara, coolly tying her curls be- WHITBY. have funds on Nand us alli I o8 Wi os a 'mirror: : . ATPHDNS0 HISDE, - PROPRIEYOR| orden nion geting ikeir money with the F 'Why not ?* gency. If I give up my liberty, want to be taken care of.' J | with Big Barney, the blacksmith that he was brave." not. nest, the gunsmith ?' 'He's as placid as goat's milk.' ly.! was set upon by robbers.' 'It's not always strength th wins ¥ fight, girl- as well as brawn. bara, give these fellows a fair tria tress and hooking up another. will, mother," said she, as last. smith, knocked early at the door. ing one foot and then the other. ¢ Yes, Ernest,' she replied. other night, when you were here.' ? | had wenk nerves ?' <I shall sleep the sounder.' L SEE mi " Yes, Kate, a shade; but ah | hew fine: ! ab Of milkmaids who rouse +0 manipulate cows; And of mooney young mowers who bundle The charms of their straw beds scorning-- Before break of day, to make love aad, hay, To no milkmaid alive does the finger of five But the sweet conntry girls, would they show It may not be wrong for the man in the For how. could he see what was under his He went out of bed and his house and_his If I liked him, you see, I'd say "Please call «Don't come here, you flat, with conundrums born, Barbara ?' she asked, 'you have 'I want,' when T marry, 'a man who is brave--eqnal to any emer- 'Silly child What is the matter 'He is big, but I never learned 'And you never heard that he was What is the matter with Er- ¢That's no sign he is a coward.-- There is little Fritz, the tanner; he is quarrelsome enough for you, sure- ¢ He is no bigger than a chicken. It is little he could do if the house It takes brains Come now, Bar- Bardara turned her face before the mirror, letting down one raven of That evening Ernest, the gun- 'You sent for me, Barbara? he asked, going to the girl, who stood upon the hearth, coquetishly warm- ' 'I've 'to | been thinking of what you said the > L Good night, then, I will send a lad to show you-the chamber. you stay there til PRying the ifaperious B uo her pretty head, <I'll ms 1 Yoh vow it Pi It Ernest turned : , and followed the lad-in waiting, through dim rooms atid passages, up echoing stairs, along naryow; damp wars, | where rats scuttled before them, to s low chamber: The boy looked pale and scared and evidently wanted to hurry away, bat "Ernest kepé' him] of the windows in them which were barred across. He remembered that old Grandsire Ferros had been insane for several years before his death, so that this precaution had been neces- sary for the safety 'Of himself and others. In the centre of the room stood a coffin ; beside ft was 'placed a chair. The room was otherwise perfectly empty. Ernest stretched himself in the coffin. 'Be kind enough to tell Miss Barbara that it's a good fit,' he said. The boy went out and shut the door leaving the gunsmith alone in the dark. Meanwhile Barbara was talking with the blacksmith in their keep- ing room. ' Barney,' said she, pull- ing her hands away from his grasp when he would have kissed her, ¢ I have a test to put you to before I give you my answer. Thereis a corpse lying in the chamber where my grandsire died, in the untenented wing of the house. Ifyou dare sit with it there all night and let no- thing drive you from your post, you will not ask me to marry you in vain.' ' You will give me a light, and a to like that, bottle of wine and a book to read ?' > At five o'clock in the morning! » 'Nothing.' > Se To ¢ Are these all the conditions you = THRE BRAVE MEN. can offer me, Barbara ?' < Pretty Barbara Ferros would not| 'All. And if get frightened, yon = marry. Her mother was in con-|never need look me in the face sternation. 'Why are you so stub-| agin.' ¢I'll take them, then.' Bo Barney was conducted to his post by alad who had been instruct. ed in the secret, and whose volunt- ary stare at Ernest's placid face as it lay in the cofin was interperated corpse, 1) boy left him alone with the dark. ness, and the rats, and the coffin. Soon after, young Fitz, the tanner, arrived, flattered and hopeful, from the fact that Barbara had sent for him. ¢Have you changed your mind, Bardara ?' he asked. 'No; I shall not until I know that you can do a really brave thing.' ¢ What shall it be? I swear to satisfy you, Barbara.' ' 'I have a proposal to make to you. My plan requires skill as well as courage.' 'Tell me! ¢ Well, in this house is a man watching by a corpse. He has sworn not to leave his post until morning. If you can make him do it, yeu will prove as brave and smart as I require a husband to be.' ' Why, nothing is so easy!' ex- claimed Fritz. away. Furnish me with a sheet, ? at 1 the marning.' to his task. and so far all was well. The night Manchester, iy 16, 1634. 30 Wold Famed Flood Misture, 'Well, Barbara ?' seemed very long for he had no _ : 2 : 6 Mark--t/ Blouq Mixture,' Ernest spoke quietly, but his dark ing the ti At ti 4 AFOE HOUS | spoke quietly, of counting the time. At times pangs C. MK LENZ 1E, D EB JENRUIAT 55000 SURMIL AD SIDA 2 blue eyes uated as be looked at her | went through him, for it sesnted as PROPRI . uric. I ly reco + very intently. if he -could hear low suppresed EMBER of . o Voter Fyistte, : if Ld ppres fl rr Ang ey a J; DAFOE, PROPRIETOR. , Skin Di . 2 rat test you,' she said. ihzeathing not f ; br - a on ane P, G8... el TZ a Sally sani wi Good accommodaiions. 'Careful attention | sores rot iods Skt Discases, = «How ?' Jou egahing 50 a : i be per rst Prize Egsay on S| Gradu- | a supply of superior Horses Horses and Carring is | to the requirements of travelers and guests. | manent cure. - 8 imaelf that it was the win of a First Prize Essay . G PLY pel req gu ' . e ; 8 ated Sept. 16, 1861. eo 20.0 prepared to furnish first class dS Sy ee aon liquors | Tt Sued Sh a " Lysate ae if you dare do &|blowing through the crevices of the gars. Good stabling ures Ulcerated apd Sore Legs. isagreeable thing.' one . Sti t at al Dr: Thora bh + § is he hos L 1 Vv E Rh Y Rr 1 CG $ res Bi or .on the face. | | 3 Platform Stations Trains stop on drial Sage t is it? 2 old house Stl it was pot at aif taken up his re Ty) an Is OYAL EXCHANGE HOTEL, Durss Diacks i at is i cheerful. Jom prepaid treat al ne 1 and sine On Moderate Terms. iin eae, {Gutes Cancerous Ulcers. JAMES HOLDEN, # ¢ There is an old coffin upstairs.--| The face in the coffin gleamed | Ye al ty Fle, ed VB aut, C. McKENZIE, The Subscriber ano Susceeded Mr. Mazon i Dues) Glandural | Swellings. £8. ro a Direct It --_-- of mola. They = 2 whiter than ever through the dark. of Mr Allison, wil : all n h Cleat she Pood ge arising z oon ¢ murderer, was buried in|ness, Therats squeaked asif fum- Y pared neither labor nor expense in re-ftting Tho Yolo Sc aye | WESTERN. ASSURNGE COMP'Y |FEiiotbs esha, Bol thei nd Tm ui As RICHARDSON, {it but the dovil came for his body ine was upon them and they smelled in an ; or = | the best brands of Ci o choice of the ost delicate Conptita of si gly RL DEALER = | and left the coffin empty atthe end|flosh. The thought made him) ov Powys) ct 28, 8 2: TORO N oO; tabling and attentive oe DRTANT, on piston soli ifforess { of 8 week, and it was finally taken | shudder. Me got up and walked d Ade oT . 'Williamsburg, Dee. 6,187, Thousmadsof Testimonial rom lf part: DOORS, SISA MD BLINDS, from the tomb. It is upstairs in the| about, 'but something made a slight SOHN 18.5. 5M, WILLOOX, Imeorpmrned cefirceeniin A88L. | (UREN HOTEL, = tain st hx tue ho | room my grandfather died in, and|noisebshind him and be put his oO" thon of why bas' been ap- 8. DTH Proprietor Toy of 1008 1s prepared to filtall ordersat his | they say grandsire does not rest|chair with the back to the wall and pointed Sh Ca Sital ¥ 400, 000. "Hie Queen's 88 BOW BE 18 unsurpassed | ONEMSTS aD | n ain CU a "Yeasy in his grave for some reason-- | gat down again. He had been hard; OFFICIAR ASSIGNEE lh for Somfort and, convenience. the a Chon Ohne, { though that I know nothing about. [at work all day, and in spite of the county of Ontario. Any business Hon. John McMursich. BE ee eelheg vo the South AB outhe county folly at- 3 n guests has been Aap fully RASLy LINCOLS, ENGDAND. dads Tova Dare you make that your bed to- overything he grew sleepy. Finally nirusted to sre ill be Ab Veronge of gues porT PERRY. erything he g Py y ft is Pe y oh "le Sd ar suppl ih the holes 'EXPORT'AGENTS, 7 night? he nodded, wud then snored: Stables carefully at yue, Burbridges and Co:, Colman St. Port Perry, May 13, 1015. oh hu ini lan, ol. In that all? I| Suddenly, 'it seemed as though opristor, ondon. : Ys ug Clork of Lhe Third Disk Newby and Sons, 37 ewgate St, London. will do that and sleep soundly.--|gomebod. touched him. &He n Bigelow's Blook, | Barclay, and Sons, 95 Farringto ' y 3 a! es ry MO N EY 8 Why, pretty one, did you think Ijawoke witha start, and saw nobody pra 0.10%, i, $0.3 p. Th. [Private Fun merase '¥onr nerves will have good proof| room stood a white figure. ¢Curse| Gp onl if yow undertake it, Remember no| you, get out of this," he exclaimed here!' sui you, ge are | O0O sleeps.in that wing' of the house. {fue of toa recesses, a by Barney to be natural awe of a| He took his seat and the | ¢Icould scare him Barbara did as He requested, and saw the tanner step blythely away It was nearly twolve when she sought her own chamber. Barney was sitting at his vigil, approached. He "Ho started to his The spectre came nearer, pressed him into. the © corner. "The take you!" cried Barney in'his tromity, Involuntarily he back, but still the ad with both arma de = tak® him if & ghastly embrace. -- till bio took & survey of the room by |and béating, 'he met, which-told rer plivyodtpon «4 hisd boew him. As the reader knows, Barney was big ana Fritz was little, and while pummeling each other they were petrified to hear a voice cry, "Take one dt your sizé, big Barney!" Looking tound they saw the corpse sitting up in the coffin. This 'was too much. They released each other and sprang for the door, and quickly made for their respective bomes. It was Barbara {herself who came morping. knap,' said Ernest, turning over in his coffin. So she married him ; and though she sent Fritz and Barney invita- tions to the wedding, they did not appear. If they discovered the trick they kept the knowledge of it to themselves, and never willingly faced Barbara's laughing eyes égain. A = EO Louisville has been amused by a row in a fashionable boarding house A boarder refused to either pay his bill or to go away until the month for which he had bargained had ex- pired. The landlady was told by the lawyers that the money was nof legally due until the end of the month, and that she must fulfil her part of the contract before she could sue him. She next _topk the case into her own hands, put damp sheets on his bed, fed him on the poorest viands, and put a whining puppy ie the room next to his. after three days of endurance. The Hartford Times tells of a smart Connecticut stump speaker who was harranguing a erowd in Fairfield county, when the effect of one of his strong points was terribly broken by a bawling exclamation from a half-drunken fellow in the crowd who sang out :--"Oh, you're 2 demagogue I" The orator fixed his eye on the fellow and, pausing just a moment to fix the attention of the audience and give his response the more effect, merely answered with one of his own unappproach- able grins :--"And put a wisp of straw around your belly and you'd be a demijohn I" It brought down the house and extinguished the bibu- lous offender. eee The following was part of a young attorney's peroration on argument of demurrer in a court recently :-- "May it please your honor, this is a stupendous question. Its decision {By you to-day will live in judicial history long afier you and I shall have passed from this scene of earti. ly glory and subluvary vanity ; when the tower ot Piza shall be for gotten ; when Waterloo and Boro- »| dino shall grow dim in the distant show me the room, and go to your rest, you will find me at the post in cycles of receding centuries ; Wher the names of Eugene, Marlborough and Napoleon ure vo longer remem bered ; when the Pyramids ot tho Pharaohs shall have crambled into dust ; when the hippopotamus shall cease to inhabit its native Nile yeve: then your ruling ujon this demur rer will still survive in the volume: of legal lore, as fresh, green an. imperishable as an antique big Thompson grasshopper or a-Gelora. do potato bug." : ---------- But few men can handle a hot lamp chimney and sing there ism. place like howe at the same time A correspondent wants to know | the best way to become a litgeacs man. Woll, the quickest way is fo! him to make a short voyage to se. He will very likely become a; con- tributor to the Atlantic. tee The wonderfal mh in Detroit Whe - puzzles the doctors by beiby able'to make: his hesit shift sides cus rest heut up as. soon as he dies: Asold Mr --= heaved the Idk | scuttle of four tons of eal into his (cellar, he was heard to remar! they had been boys instead ot near, though in the centre of the ina fright, using the first words last Sunday, i that came to his tongue. The figure | mon, to & hot held up ite right arm and slowly jog Etiog it wonldn't have. ton would ast . EL: The air started up on Barsiey'd and opened tho door the néxt a It's very early; one more little _ He retreated assur edthat he will be beautifully 0 1Y ib <