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| i fn vr RIO AND GENERAL ADVERTISER perience in France, the United States and Canada, and holding Certificates from Her Majesty's P ivy Council in Building Construction, I am prepared to turnish DESIGNS, PLANS, DETAILS, ESTI- MATES, §0., For Buildings, ut a low, figure, All orders addressed to me, Port Perry Post Office, will receive immediate attention, NB. [am prepared to erect Buildings of any size or kind. Port Perry, Feb 8, I877. 'TURAL § FAMILY NEWSPAPER, _ 18 PUBLISHED AT PORT PERRY, ONT., EVERY THURSDAY MORNING, BY BAIRD & PARSONS. TERMS.--$1 per annum, if paid in ad- vance ; if not $1.50 will be charged. No subscription taken for less than six months; wad no paper discontinued until all arrcars RATES OF ADVERTISING. ..$0 08 For each line, first insertion . ET Subsequent insertions, per lin 0 02 \ A 7 M. SPENCE, CoxTracTOR, BuiLoer, &c. Cards, ander 6 lines, per annum ..... 5 00 BEF" Letters containing money, when ad- dressed to this Office, pre-paid and regester- ed, will be at our risk Advertisements measured by Nogparell, sud charged according to the space they oc- eupy. A qvertisomenty received for publication. without specific instructions, will be inserted antil forbid and charged accordingly. No advertisement will be taken out untilpaid for. A liberal discount allowed to Merchants WM. SPENCE. and others who advertise by the year or Prince Albert, April 5, 1875. half-year, - Sums re #@F™ These terms will in all cases be FA usic. strictly e~d to a Job Department. ROF. HARRINGTON, Teacher of Music, Port Perry. Also dealer in Musical In- Pamphlets, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro-| uments. Residence,on Union Avenue. grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt i Books, Checks, Books, Circulars, Business N 188" 8. 8. HARRINGTON, Teacher of Carde, Ball Onde 6. of every style and | 1k 1% ARELCH CA" VA Fo color, sxscited promply un silowes ik ern h y than any other establishment in the County. | oe B@™ Parties from a distance getting hand Wills, &c. printed can have them done to take home with them. J. BAIRD. The Subscriber In returning bis sincere thank: val patronpge wo m in the past would inform the public generally at having bought a re perty and moved Into the Village of Prince Albert, he will in future give his whole attention to his business as Contractor, and is now ready to undertake Stone Work, Brick- Laying, Plastering, and everything connecte therewith, which he will execute on the short- est notice and in the best and most durable style, und at the very lowest figure at which a good Job can be done. The best material and first-class workmanship. Bu JAMES W. BEALL. OWNSHIP CLERK, TOWNSHIP OF EAST WHITBY. Conveyancing and General Inswance Agent Office in the Town Hall, from 9a m till 5p. m. The Clerk will be home for township business on Mondays and Saturdays JAMES W. BEALL, Tp. Clerk. ainess € Ts. H. PARSONS. P-feasiony! ra JONES, M. D, Coroner. . Surgeon, &e. Port Perry. Resilence--Oftice door west of the Preshy- terian Church. business hours R. WARE, Coronor for the Cou 3 hy sicl: p : LL Anaro, Physician, Surgeon and C lumbus, March 28, 1877. Albert eri H. ANGSTER, M. In, Physician, Sur- J geon and Accouchenr. Coroner for the County of Ontario PORT PERRY. 'fee over Nott's Furniture Store, corner of queen and Perry Streets. Ofce hours from $a. m. to 12 m. Residence, the dwelling recently oecnpled wy Mrs. Geo, Paxton. ~~ EX. KENNEDY, MD, MCPS, formerly assistant to Prof. Maclean, F the Town of Whithy, has been ap- pointed OFFICIAL ASSIGNEE or the county of Ontario. Any husiness antrusted to his charge will be carefully at- fended to. W. BURN HAM, Clerk of (the Third Divi- +) + sionCourt. Office In Bigelow's Block, Port Perry, + the. Universi <i Surgeon of the University Hospital, Ann Ode Nora fron 1s TI ToS B. 0. Arbor, Mich, + Office--Cur block--corner of - Queen aud Perry steects, Port Perry. T. C. FORMAN, - | INSPECTOR of WEIGHTS § MEASURES | RS. MCGILL & RAE, Physcluns, Surgeons, For the County of Ontario. Wt. WEILL, M.D. &e.. &e, OM Residences, King st, Oshawa, Port Perry, Nov 1, 1875. 45:tf | FRANCIS RAE, M,D. Navin ree mimi M. F. MoBRIEN, \L.D., M. R. C WV Yiospitit, London, England. ), H. La, l Oshawn, 'ew Darriage RE'VE 'A . B., County Crown i i ri Act. 2). Nttorasy for nu Sofleitor, nd Notar 4 cuple | by 3. H. Coel Brock strech | port Perry, July lst, 1874. - re. YAAN I. ENGLISH LL. B., Solicitor in HER CHARLES ngs beens re- 4 Chancery, Attorney, Conveyancer, &¢. appointed Marriage License Agent-- { (after sixteen years duty) continues to fur- nish Licenses as heretofore--at Port Perr Oshawa 1 Mer -Sime e street, opposite the Post Office YUNG SMITIL LL. B, Barrister, At- XK. tornev-at-Law, Solicitor én Chancery, V1 [asolvaney, Notary Public R. RICYARDSON, Re-appointed Issuer of Marvinge Under the New Act. 1st con, Brock. Brock, Avg. T C. FORMAN, ISSUER OF Marmage One door west of the Walker Port Perry. Vieitors County t ilouse. ine lacenses. Office, lot 10, in the Law, anc ior Ww 180 see in the Royal yreade, 65,1871. 33 pict Perey. V. dauries Cochrane, [TORNEY-AT-LAW, Solicitor in Chan- A cery Notary Public, &c., &e Office hours punctually from 9a.m to 5 p.m. Money 0 Loan at 8 per cent, on all &inds of good security. Office, Bigelow's Royal Arcade, licenses, House J OIIN CHRISTIE, a ¢ PORT PERAY. TOWNSHSP CLERK, + Ld ssuer of Marriage Licenses--Conveyancer, J. A. MURRAY, Commissioner &c. | ATE Patterson &. Fenton, Surgeon Mfice-- Manchester. "THE ONTARIO FARMERY Dentist Office over & Cam : | bata Store, Port § Mutual Insurance Company. Perry. All work to : . done in the very This Company is now fully organized and is latest and best style and warranted to give | prepared to accept risks on Farm Buildings satisfaction, and their contents, country School Houses and Churches Those wishing to insure and thereby suppo.t a Home Insurance Company have now an opportunity of doing so, either by applying to the Head Office, or to any of the local Agents of the Company. Our rates will be found as low as those of any respon- sible Mutual Insurance, Company in Canada. Head Office--Opposite the Royal Hotel Brock St., Whitby & . L, FAIRBANKS, Jr, Secretary, Port Perry, March 28, 1877. 55H DENZISTRY. | The undersigned %ould inform the public that he now practices his profession of Dental Surgeon at his residence, Prince Albert, where he is prepared to attend to all wrho require his services, or partis will be attended at their residences if they prefer it. My long and thorough kaowledge of every «department of the profession emable me to wrarrant satisfaction in every instance, R. FOSTER, L.D 8. Prince Albert, Aug. 16, 1876. C. N. VARS, L. D. 8. EETH inserted on all the latest princi- ples of the art, and as cheap as the cheap- est, and as as the best. Teeth filled with Gold and Silver. Teeth extracted without pain by producing local anmsth- |- esis. Dentical Rooms--in Cowan's new ®lock, over Atkinson's Drug Store, King Btreet, Oshawa, CHAS. THORN, 'V 8, EMBER of the Veterinary Institute, Chicago, Ill. Gold Medalist for the best examination on Horse Practice. Author of & First Prize Essay on Shoeing. Gradu- ated Sept. 16, 1867. _ Pr. Thora begs to announce that he has ¢akon up his residence at Port Perry, and is now prepared to treat all cases entrusted to his caren the most skillful and scientific manner. All orders left at the Medical Hall of Mr Allison, will receive prompt attention. ' The Veterinary Stables may be found on Lilly strect, opposite Cossitt's Factory, Port Perry, Oct. 28, 1873 3 ---------------------------- * my | vchitects, 'KC. TTT = ENRY GRIST, PATEN SOLICITOR AND DraveaTuaN, Ottawa, Canada Transacts business with the Patent Office sud other departments of the Government op hts and the Registration of Trade end Disigns procured. Drawings, WHITBY STEAM MARBLE WORKS. J. & R. WOLFENDEN, HOLESALE and Retail dealers in Foreign and American Marble Man-- tles, Monuments, &c., Dundas St , Whitby. Also, Agent for the Scottish Granite. Also BuiMing Stone cut to orde.. JOHN NOTT, Agent, Pott Perry. Whitby, July 20, 1871, Auctionerrs. M. WILLCOX, LICENSED AUCTIONEER, YOR THE CO. OF ONTARIO, AND TOWNSHIPS OF MAR! POSA & CARTWRIGHT, Begs to thank his many friends and the public generally, for the liberal patron- age bestowed upon him for the past five years. Having now given up the business of Bailiff, I intend, in future, to devote my whole time to the business of Auctioneer, Collecting, &c. It will be my endeavor, by prompt and careful attention to business, to give full ion to.all who may favor me with their Sales or Collecting. Bi lsdraughted and Blank Notes furnished free of charge. Also Bill Stamps always on hand. Arrangements can be made for sales &c.,| at the Osserver Office, and at the Stan: fi , and other Documents neces | Office, Port Perry. © sary to secure Patents of Invention, prepared W. M. WILLCOX, " receipt of the model of the Invention, Port Perry, Oct. 25, 1873. "Observer" Office, Port Perry, and arrange for days of Sales, - Glen Major, Oct. 10, 1876. WM. GORDON, Licensed Auctioneer, Valuator, &e. (VOR the Township of Brock, Uxbridge, Scott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mariposa and Eldon, p@¥™ Parties entrusting their Sales to me may rely on the utmost attention being given to their interests.' WM. GORDON, Sunderland, Brock, T. HL WALSHE, Treen Auctioneer for the Township of Brock, Thorah, Mara & Rama in North Ontario; Mariposa, etc., in the County of Victoria. Residence--Cannington, Brock. Orders left at this office, or at his residence will be punctnally attended to. Debts col-- lected in Cannington, or otherwise, and prompt remittances made. Remember-- WALSHE, the North Ontario Auction- eor, THE WALKER HOUSE PORT PERRY VHE Subscriber having leased the hoy | hotel, it will be his endeavor to conduct it in cvery particular so as to merit the Wi and patronage of the public, THE WALKER HOUSE { whether for extent or quality of accommo- | dations is equalled by few Hotels in the | Province and surpassed by none out of the bust cities Commercial Travelers, the Traveling Public, Farmers and others doing business in the Village end the general public will find in THE WALKER HOUSE all that can be required in the matter of accommodation and modgration in charges. Lay JOHN 8S. M WILLCOX, {The Charges are No Higher at the | Walken House than at any other Hotel in Town. The House is fitted up thronghout in FIiS: CLASS STYLE. The Tables and Bar supphed with the choice of the market and the utmost atten-- tion paid to the convenience and comfort of ALL GUESTS. An abundance of comfortable Stable and Shed accommodation, and attentive hostlers, W. B. McGAW. Port Perry, April 20, 1876. posr PERRY HOUSE, PORT PERRY. JAS. V. THOMPSON, - PROPRIETOR. The above House is now most comfort- ably furnished, and Guests are cared for in the Home Style. Good Liquors and Cigars, also, first class Stabling and good Ostlers.-- Additions have been made which maker this the largest and best House in this section of country. Fare $1.00 per Day. Pees HOUSE, PORT PERRY, The Subscriber having leased this comfort. able and convenient Hotel, will spare neither labor nor expense in providing for the com. fort and convenience of guests. The Tables willalways be snpplied with the best to be had in the market, Only choice Liquorsand Cigars at the Bar. Any gqnaatity of firstclass Stable and Shed accommodation properly attended to by careful Ostlers CHAS. HOLT. Port Perry, March 8, 1876 quar CORNER OF KING AND YORK BTS. JAMES POWELL, . . . ProrrigTor, First-class accommodation ; bath rooms, &c. Board, $050 per day. I SPEARE HOTEL, EVERE HOUSE, MANCHESTER. By GEO. HOUCK. Having leased the above excellent Hotel it will be. my endeavor to conduct it in every particular 80 as to merit the appro- bation and patronage of the public. Manchester, Oct. 6, 1875. NTARIO HOTEL, WHITBY, T. MASON, - - PROPRIETOR. The public well cared for, and all Guests will please feel at home. 'Whitby, Nov. 9th, 1876. UEENS HOTEL, Corner of Cameron and Laidlaw Sts. CANNINGTON, On. D. CAMPBELL, . . . Proprietor This Hotel is now furnished in the best style, and offers every accommodation to travelers B&¥~ First class Sample Rooms. Livery attached, Cannington, Oct. 20, 1875. ATaloavgnicay HOTEL, 43 PRINCE ALBERT. W. H. PARK, - - - PROPRIETOR. Having purchased the above pleasantly situated Hotel, 1 have $ | Port Perry, Oct. 11, 1872, W | Whi MORTCACES WANTED. FYHE Subscribers have la: sums of mon- ey placed in their bands oy investment on Improved Farms, Village Properties, and other Securities in this and adjoining Counties at the lowest current rates of interest. As w have funds on hand at all times Borrowers candep nd on getting their money with the east possible delay. WANTED TO PURCHASE, bo Any number of Mortgages for which the high- est figures will be allowed. Weare also Aiprajsers for the Canada Per- manent Building Society, the cheapest and largest Monetary Institution in Canada. Paid ap Capital $1,500,000. Instalments re-payable in from 2 to 20 years. Lands Boight and Sold. ° Several good farms for sale. JA~ Agents for several first class Fire In surance Com panies. Collections made and a general agency busi- ness transacted. Z%- DEBENTURES BOUGHT.-Gx JOHN & DAVID J. ADAMS, General Agents, Office in Mr. Ross' Ontario Buildings, * Port Perry. Moncey to Loan The undersigned has any amount of Money to lend upon Farm and Town Property, at Unusually Low Rates of Interest! Loans can be repaid in any manner to suit the borrower. Also x Improved Farms, and Wild Lands for sale, cheap. Investments made in Municipal Deben- tures, Bank and other marketable Stocks, Apply to JAMES® HOLDEN, Oficial Assignee, Broker, &e, Orrice--Over the Dominion Bank, McMil- lan's Block, Brock st., Whitby. Whitby, April 10, 187 Agency for the Lending of Money A DVANCES made upon the seenrity of LX Real Estate, re-payableat the option of borrower, Rate of interest Eight per cent; mission. Wanted to pmchase good Mortgages and Promissory Notes. No Com- Money always on hand for any good Loan, W. MAURICE COCHRANE. March 1, 1887. Tort Perry MO? [Private "T'o Loan on good Farms, al 8 per dent in- terest. LYMAN ENGLISH, DBarnister, &c., Oshawa November, 21, 1866. ORT WHITBY & PORT PERRY EXTEN- STON RAILWAY. TIME TABLE No. 17. Taking cficet Saturday, 6th Jan, 1877. Trains run by Toronto time, which is twenty- two minutes slower than G.T.R. time. "Trains Going North. > Wednesd"ys Ni Whithy de Junction Manchester . Prince Albert. Port Perry 'Trains Going South. Wednesd'ys & Saturdays Xo. L MAIL. 3 EX. Port Perry «dy 6.00 a.m. (dep. Prince Albert . oh Manchester 2 Summit* Myrtle Brookl thy a Whitby Junetion .. ar, oe Platform Stations--Trains stop on signal- enly | Gommections.--At Whitby Junction with | Grand Trunk Railway Trains, East and West. At Port Perry with Stage for Uxbridge. JAMES HOLDEN, Managing Director. qr OF DIVISION COURTS FOR THE County of Ontario, For the year and renovated the entire premises even to the Sheds. The Hotel has been furnished in First-Class Style and Stocked with the best Liquors and Cigars! Strict attention paid to the comfort of uests. 1 The table and bar well supplied, W. H. PARK. Prince Albert, June 12, 1875. A STRONG HOUSE, : © (LATE ALBION,) - ot WHITBY, ONTARIO. E ARMSTRONG, PROPRIETOR, The Only First Class House in Town. Boy HOUSE, late Jewett House, Kent Street, Lindsay. Board, $1.50 per day. E. BENSON, Proprietor. OYAL EXCHANGE HOTEL, * WILLTAMSBURG, CARTWRIGHT. E. BRYANS, Proprietor, The Subscriber having succeeded Mr. Mason in this pleasant and commodious Hotel has spared neither labor nor expense in re-fitting and renovating the entire premises. The Har supplied with a superior the best brands of Cigars. The choice of the market provided for the es. Excellent stabling and attentive Ostler: E, BRYANS. 'Williamsburg, Deg. 6, 1875. we | July azo | Sept G. H. DARTNELL, Junior Judge. Whitby, Dec. 27,18%6. C. M'KENZIE, PROPRIETOR. Subscriber having now fully ec uipped ™e new and jo Livery Miah with superior Carri ges, to furnish first class LIVERY RICS On' Moderate Terms, C. MoRENZIE ' AC a supply of repared Port Percy, Aug. 6, 3 In Account with the Municipality of CARTWRIGHT, FOR THE YEAR ENDING 7th APRIL, 1677, '1876. To cash received from : Richard Mitchell, on note ,,.. ... W. R. Clemié¢, Licence Inspector Wm, Eliott............ From Collector on roll of 1876 From Collector on Roll of 1876. Dog TAX ...uvviversanens Wm... West, Statute Labor. John 'McDougal, do. do. Robert Osborne, do. do... Arrears of Taxes on Roll... Win. Neal, Exq., J. P., as fin Total Receipts James Dewart, two months license... .. John Cuthbert, payment for timber , RECEIPTS. 'l'o balance on hand from 1875, as per last Audit........ Township Clerk, Manvers for iload Scraper, paid for by Treasurer ....vvvaese "reese . John Prout as taxes on lot 16, 9th con, for the ycar 1875. Clergy Reserve Fund for the year ending 1875. Wm. Neal Fxq,, J. P., as fines from Thos. Cra 10 $6137 96 By Cash Paid: Shed $500...... T Whitfield, for repair Nelson Marlow, repairing s W. E. Yarnold, Esq, P. L 8 for s the 8th con. Cartwright Thomas Coulter, for 25 picces John Evpglish John Coats, t Hart & Rowlinson, for blank Robert Spinks, for cedar timber for Robert Mc Joshna Ferguson, work done on ¥ Alfred Geo W Jolin Wison .. Alfred Nattrass, Alfred Nattiass, John Henry Devitt, for wo :Phail, stamp for counci John Peel for work of James Brown, Cedar Timber John Forder, : James Hovey, Robert Hall, Culvert and Cedar. Wm. Lucas, Salary as Clerk R. II. Spinks, Esq, Reeve, Sr Wm Taylor, John Goggin Jumes Hyland, I James Parr, Esq. Debenture No. Special Rate for Curren 1877 ale , Councilor, 1., do. do. y Samuel Green, 1 John Greer, 1 do do John McKee, 1 do do Smith English, 1 do do Robeet Henry, ' 1 do do Daniel Brown, 1 do do Francis Crozier, 2 do do Henry Seymonr, 2 do do 1877. Balance on hand , Dated this 7th April, 1877. cree Irreverence. Mr. Harvey an employe of the Ottawa Government was dismissed from office a short time ago for refusing to fall down and worship the sweet and gentle McKenzie. -- After the dismissal of Mr. Harvy a deputa. tion waited on him to ask him the reason why, when Mr Mckenzie told the deputation that he had been informed that this man had spoken most disrespectfully of the Govern- in future all who worship the grout destroved be officially 4 - Henry McQuade, for repairing cnlvert on boundary , John Green, balance on road job 1st con line, Wm. McLayghlin, work on road division No. Wm. McLaughlin, salary as Assessor 1876, Henry Watson, building culvert and cedal Robert Bailey, work done on the 9th con line John Cuthbert, part expenses of survey, . . James Hyland, Esq, Com of road sales F W. Hyland, for cedar timber and work Charles Larwer, for cedar tigber for culve John Coats, for work on the Boundary, West Wu. Philp, for work dope oft road Div. No. 40 for work ahd cedar on mead Div, ravel on Reach boundary. . orms .... Thos Goggin, for cedar timber on 1st w's Hill, attrass, for work done on lot No, it, for work done on 6th and 7th con lines r John Jobb for Cedar Tgnber for Culvert... sundary Line cast 1 1, Deputy Reeve, do. do. Andrew Montgomery, work done on 10th aud 11th Con, Henry Seymour, sheep killed .......... J. MONTGOMERY, M.D. JOHN HUGHES, DISBURSEMENTS. K. R. Loscombe, Esq., Insurance on Town Hall and Drill @ Chas. G. Devitt, for work and timber on culvert. .... oe = Sov Se Seon 2 2 ng lot No, 2 i on, bridge Andrew Hyland, for w.rk on Ist con line Alex, Tate, tor wark.on } lin Gro, Fallis, for vedar timber D 6 do. do. lines, ooo vane nseass 10 00 Edward G YY Wm Lucas, serv as Returning Officer. . 9 00 W. W. Mason, do. do, do. No. 3, 13 00 Nelson Marlow, Statute Labor for R. Osborne. 3 00 = John Hughes, ecror in Dog Tax..... 1.00 Mrs. Greer, do. do. 100 John Hughes Returning Offic . 11 00 Wm. McLaughlin, Selecting Jurors 187 2 00 County Treasurer on County rate of 187¢ 231 00 Mrs. Morrison, Cleaning Town Hall... 2 00 Wm. Willis, work done on Gravel Road 1 50 Joseph Armstrong, road job on 8th con. 25 00 . Wm, Humphries, repaid CT 5 On County Rate for th rar 1876 350 00 Collector's, Salary 18 ' 55 00 D. Deacon Esq. Saiary as Treasurer 1876. 50 00 Allowed Collector as abatement..ooes vovvens .e 40 52 Teachers out of Municipal Assessment for half year ending 31st Dec, 1876.00 vuuss "esensr eran anes 371 00 County Treasurer, Balance on County Rate 1876 161 61 John Hughes and J Montgomery, Auditor's fees, . 12 00 1876, Trustees of School Sec. No.1 ,....5 ds veesnsnnnn 210 21 2.. 301 79 3 297 46 4 308 80 { 5 373 80 y 6 359 36 1 403 32 8 265 65 9 eresaes 221 68 INDIGENT AID. Wm Henry for Mrs Loughead ... $28 00 Andrew Crawford. ...... ves 10 00 Mrs. Soles vuveninireens on 5 00 Henry Seymour, for Mrs. Longhead . 6 00 R. Raterson, coffin for late Andrew Crawford . 10 00 -- 59 00 SHEEP LOSSES. Thomas Crawford, for 4 Sheep killed by dogs......vae- 1 do do 6 00 do 4 00 do 4 00 do 4 00 do 333 do 4 00 do 3 33 do 5 33 do 6 00 29 34 . 26429 $8137 96 We hereby certify that we have examined the Treasurer 's accounts with the vouchers thereto belonging and find them correct to date. } Avorrons. * Encouraging Manufactures. A By.law granting a bonus of $2,000 to Messrs Tanner & Harris, to (assist them in erecting and carrying on a woolen factory in Mount Forest, was submitted to a vote of the freeholders of that village, on Tuesday, and carried by a majority of 57 votes -- Mount Forest could scarcely have invested $2,000 to a better purpose. 9 * Sick of the Country. Large numbers of French Canadians are | again reported to be leaving for the States, #5 mauy as two hundred baving left from wv. | the neighborhood of Richmoud during the pest two dure $ .{standing around until he was tired, {be crelited that the=mian left the A painful but funny incident oc. carred in one ot the grocery stores on Broad street the other evening, which was witnessed by several gentlemen who were present. An empty barrel, with a few inches cat off the top, had been standing in the store, and a man who had been sat down ouite Fhis-would have been very well if he had not sat down so far. As it was he went so into the barrel as to double himself up after the manner of a pair of compasses. The fellow realized his mistake and strove to corrbet it, but the more he did the further he worked into the barrel. Finally he was constrained to cry for help, and a halfedozen men, among them the proprietor of the store, came to his rescue. They tried compression of the upper and nether extremities, but this brought too great a strain amidships and had to be abandoned. Then a council was called. At this it was decided that either the barrel or the man had to be sacrificed, and, although the barrel was worth fifty cents, the former alternative was de- cided on. A hatchet was procured and the sides of the barrel dashed in, causing it to collapse, thus relieving the man from a painful position. ludicrous though It will scarcely store without offering to pay for the spoiled barrel. et A A Dutchman being advisedito. rub his limbs well with brandy for the rheumatism, said he had heard of the remedy, but added: "I dosh petter as dat--I drinks the prandy and den rubs mein legs mit der pottle." All the world is a stage and most of the passengers are obliged to go on foot up the hills, and to pry the wheels out of the: mud. The stage is genearlly stuck in the mud when it1s not going up hill. . Rev. Mr. Keyes, of Norristown, Pa, says " The same ineftable felic- ity that exists among lovers here will continue to exist 'in Which is undoubtedly so, they shoud- previously Danbury News. With what you paint the storm at sea ?--The waves rose and the wind blew: low should a secret be painted ?--In violet. IIow should youspuaint an absent-minded friend ?--In a brown study. heaven." unless marry.= colors would A poem of six stanzas, from " Fanny," entitled " Where has oir Beautiful Snowjgone?'is received, and respectfully but firmly declined. Wo don't know where your beuuii- ful snow is gone, and we don't care. We haven't it. Ladies' dresses will fit more close ly than ever this summer. Their dresses will be made so tight, indeed that lovely woman will lose her last relic of superiority over man-- She won't be able to put her clothes on over her head any more, ! A stable-keeper who invariably cautions his patrons against driving fast, repeated the injunction to a gentleman who was hiring a team of him the other day, and received the following response: "I am/ going to a funeral and must keep up with the procession if it kills the borse." Ie was allowed tg drive on. The Buffalo Courier hunts it up again and starts off with: Mr. Sec. retary Thomson bas never served two years before tae mast, but it is affirmed that his nautical acquire- meqts are more varied than were those of President Taylors Secretary of the Navy. When that official first boarded a man-of-war at the Gosport Navy Yard he paused be- fore the hatchway, gave a startled glance down and exclaimed : Great Cmsor's ghost! if the the thing isn't hollow !" It was a sad case. They loved each other fondly, but John was poor and couldn't think of marrying until'he could support a wife. But Maria laughed at his excuse, and said she didn't care how poor he was, she was sare they would both be happier than to live single longer. "Come, let us be married, and I will live on bread and water, and will do my shaie toward earning our support. "Very well," said John, = -- : 1 . : | a m------ " J et me LIE | VOL. XX, NO. 20. PORT PERRY, PROVINCE OF ONTARIO, THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 1877. { WHOLE NO. 1012 hs in Fee TT 5 ONLI Sri ko. Hy Es Paso -- i "MA TARA = ¥ or ene aT 5 - 0 - a eet ] y my i. J. bad considerable. practical ex ED yi ail Juriies MUNEY T0 LOAN D. DEACON, ESQ, TREASURER, 2 Slight Mistake. ship that was wrecked a short time since. The coast guard on duty told them that some one had stolen part of the cargo. The miner speak- ing out said, "Marrow, but they wad sieal the dead bodies tae if they wor ony use tde them." The minister, looking very serious, said : ** Ah, Lut they will have to give an account of 1t when the great arch angel's trump shall call them forth to the seat of judgment." Miner-- " Haud the tongue, mon | he'll niver got a toot, they'll steal Lis trumpot tae." In pocket-picking like evdrything else, & man never succeeds till he gets his Land in It is no longer the bully boy with t! glass eye, but the bovine gentleman wi. the crockery optic, Animals may not be able to communics ideas, but a dog is able to communicate fic which are oh | dears, Six-ycar old: "Mamma, what are ' made for?" Precociens older brothe: that cannibals may eat philopens." Now turn your carpets the other side Not that it makes any partieular differ , but the woman have got to have a littl. © Sir, Charles Diike, who cremated his 2 wife, is going to marry aren. And the Louis 'Republican' thinks that he will b his fingers yet with some of his expe ments, An exchange remarks that it is better have a conscience than to fight, Of cov itis Conscience smites but it dosn't kue out any front teeth. The misery of the young man who cot a spanking, fashionable belle and looses is only excelled by the misery of the mo who courts and wins her, A Whitchi 1 wom n desired her hnsba® to buy.a new spring bonnet, "Why : denn," Le said, 'Low can doit when I ba no money 2" And she simply exclaim owe, dear I! ¢ Well, Bridget, if I cngage yon, I sl want you to stay at Lome whenever I sl wish to go out." ¢ Well ma'am I have objections, providing ycu do the same wl I wish to go out,' An educated young man went to Missi ippl a few years since. His friends we proud of bim and saie he would be heard the world before many years, They w eight ; the young man now beats a Kong ai railroad station, A Kansas farmer purchased a resoh lately for his wifs "and insisted on tary practice so that she could defend her Lot After the bullet 1 been dug out of his leg, and the cow buri he gid he gue sed she bad better shoot w an axe, > in case of Lis absence, tAh!me! we live again in our children ! sighs the fond mother, and as she looks ot the window, suddenly adds, ¢ John He you pesky little wretch, come right, ouy thit mud Tdeclare you hav'nt got st enough to last you from ten o'clock till ner, A teacher questioning little boys about | graduation of "the scale of being, ask 'what comes next to man? Whereupon little shaver, who was evidently smarti under a sense of previous defeat, immediat ly distanced all competitors by prompt shouting, * Lis undershirt ma'am,' "Before we were masried,' raid he to hi friend 'she used to say when I went down the 'And now what docs she say ?" asked the friend. 'Ch just the same,' e the man--buy buy.' 'Ah, I sce,' said the other ; she only exercises a little different spell over you,' *by-ly' so.sweetly steps,' aimed Spring has come at last, Spring is com= posed of biliousness, Land organs, four feet of mud, blue pif and unrequited love, -- And when a man goes to to. the post office inthe morning and finds that it isn't the first of January, and that he hasn't got four thousand dollar bills for old clothes and hair oil in his box, he rejoices with joy beyond expression, and this tead.r, beautiful seagon is once mor« here, Guiicg Liceaity. Our cconomital 'Ottawa Government, like its Ontario bantling, is much more generous to its friends than just to the taxpay r..-- The Ottawa Free Dress, Mr, McKenzies most abject wo-Bhipper got the nice snug sum of $311 50 for printing a fuw admission cards admitting a favored few to the Senate 'chamber for the opening and closing cere-- monies of 1876, No mre than §11 ought to have been paid, so that the $300 over payment may be regarded as a party gift. -- It is casy for McKengic & Co to be gu nerovs with other people's money the taxes of the toiling oncs, ------ Barly at Work. It appears that the Canada Southern Rail way men remember ho Sabbath day to keep it wholly (not Luiy). A telegram from Brantford says: --* Between 3 and 4 o'clock on Sunday morning, 8th insv., a gang of about 200 Cznada Southern men and two trains arrived in Brantford and proceeded to pull up the track of the C. W. &P.B. R. R. The large number of lights attracted tho aggention of the wight watchman, who pro. ceeded to the scene of action. He immed- iately rang che fire almm and aroused the directors of the railway, the myor, sheriff and other officials, Those gentleman svon arrive ed and ordered the work to be stopped. No attention, however, was paid by the Southe "If you really feel like that I am willing, we will set up bousekeep- ing at once, and if you will furnish the bread, I will skirmish around and soo what I can do about water. A miner belonging to Chambyis, and a minister belonging to Biyth wers standing togather looking at a ern men who went on very quickly and systematically pulling np the rails and cast~ ing them aside and piling the ticson thei own cars. About a mile of the road was