Y: AND GENERAL ADVERTISER. "VOL XXII, NO. 12.t NTARIOC OBSERV PORT PERRY, PROVINCE OF ONTARIO, THURSDAY, msn MARCH 6, 1879. { WHOLE Porth Ontaric Obseruer. A WEEKLY POLITICAL, AGRICUL- TURAL & FAMILY NEWSPAPER, 18 PUBLISHED AT PORT PERRY, ONT., EVERY THURSDAY MORNING, BY BAIRD & PARSONS. PERMS.--$1 per annum, if paid in ad- vance ; if not $1.50 will be charged. No subscription taken for less than six months; and no Dsplgisonsinned until all arrears are paid. RATES OF ADVERTISING. For each line, first insertion ... Subsequent insertions, per line . Cards, under 6 lines, per annum . . x Letters containing money, when ad- dressed to this Office; pre paid and reg ster- ed, willbe at our risk Advertisements measured by Nonpareil, and charged according to the space they oo- cupy. . Advertisements received for publication.' without specific instructions, will be inserted intil forbid and charged accordingly. No advertis ment will be taken out untilpaid for A liberal discount allowed to Merchants and others who advertise by the year or half-year. Thes terms will in all cases be strictly wn odto Job Department. Famp lots, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro- grammes, Bill Hesds, Blank Forms, R C pt Books, Checks, Books. Circulars, Business Cards, Ball 1s, &c., of every style and solor, exeented promptly and at lower rates han any other establishment in the County. ges Partics from a distance geting hand bills, &e. printed can have them dane to take tome with them J. BAIRD. . PARSONS. 11, "ANGSTER, M. J. goon and Acconchenr. Coroner for the County of Ontario PORT PERRY. ver Nott's Furniture Store, corner of d 'e 3 " ¢ occupied or for the County of an, Surgeon and Ac- opposite the town hail. Port Perry. Surgeons, King sty, ALLER Oiliee and Oshawa, Physelans, Residences, Business envy. ONTARIO BANK. CAPI AL $3,000.000 PORT PERRY BRANCH. -- SAVINGS DEPARTMENT. A Savings Department is now open in connection with this Branch. Deposits of FiveDollars and upwards received and inter= est allowed thereon. No notice of withd:awal required, A.A. ALLEN, MANAGER. ee vo BURN HAM, Clerk of the Third Divi- J er Court. Qifice in Bigelow's Block, Port Perry. omce hous from 10a. mJ 3p. m. T. Cc. FORMAN, For the County of Ontario. Port Perry, Nov 1, 1875. 45:t OHN CHRISTIE, J TOWNSHIP CLERK, ser of Marri Licenses--Conveyancer, . Commissioner &c. Mice-- Manchester Sahel ©. FORMAN, . ISSUER OF Moarviige aco nmes, One door west of the Walker House Port Perry. ev iarriage Act. 1874. 1st, Port Perry, July been re- BR. RIC ARDSON Re-appointed Issuer Oshawn, B., County Crown rrisior, Attorney, ir Oflien Incely oe 1sq., Broek stroety | Ralieito curiad by - | ENGLISH LL. B, Solicitor in | , Attorney, Conveyaneer, &¢. Oshawa. ilico--Simeoe street, opposite the Post Offick y{ YOUNG X. torn t ind [nsolvene y Ofice--MeMiilan's Block, Brock street, Whithy. Ww. Maurice Cochrane, TTORNEY-AT-LAW Solicitor in Chan A cory Notary Public, &e., &e jffice hours punctually from 9am. to 5 pm. Money +0 Linin at 8 per cent on all kinds of good security Office, Bigelow's Royal PORT PERR BE tor in tie, &e., Ofice over Brown & Cur * Port © ILI & MeGILLIVRA B Solicitors, Notaries Public, &¢, Port Perry. per John Billings. t Law, and Solicitor in the Royal \reade, J. ATE Patterson & A. MURRAY, ii +! bells Story, Perry. Aw wok dome in iw.' WAY Jatest anl ty: and warranted to giv gatisfactio, Port Per rch 28, 1877 VA Li i \EETH inserted on all the latest pr ples of the art, and as cheap as the cl - :xt, and as good as the best. Teeth filled with Gold and Silver. Teeth extra ted without pain by producing local anwesth asia. Dentical Rooms--in Cowan's new block, over Atkinson's Drug Store, King 3treet, Oshawa. GS. N HE Subscriber wonld beg to inform owners of Hoses and Cattle that having completed a Session in the Ontario Veterin- ary College, Toronto, he has now located in Port Perry, for the practice of his pro- fession aud is now prepared to give advise on and successfully treat all diseses to which horses and cattle are Hable. From Jong study and clos investigation of the nature and habits of Horses aud Cattle and long practice in t.eatiog the Diseases of such together with the great advantages derive d from a Session at the Ontario Veterinary College, Toronto, I flatter myself that parties placing their Horses and Cattle under my treatment will find it to their advantage. Any order or commuaication for me left at Mr. Allison's Drug Store will be promptly attended to. 3 g D. BATEMAN Port Perry, March 27, 1878. oe RX asic ee RF. HARRINGT IN, Teacher of Music Port Perry. Also dealer in Musical In- syruments. Ifesidence,on Union Avenue. ISS 8. 8. HARRINGTON, Teacherof Jusie. Avplistiinus hy Post or in perso! golicited. Residence, on Union Avente, Port Perry. % The VICTORIA MUTUAL Fire Insurance Company of Canada, . EAD OFFICE,....... HAMILTO. EJ HIS isdecidedly one of the best in the Dominion, aud parties having property to insure will do well to consider tho many advantages of insuring with this Company. : T. H. WALSHE, Agent, 'annington, Ont. Mirringe Licenses. Under the New Act. Office, lot 10, in the 1st con, Brock. Brock, Ang. | ENRY GRIST, ACITOR AND H Draven manda Transncts busit with the Patent Office or departments of the Governme nt istration of Trade gems proenred. Drawings, ions, and other Documents seenre Patents of Invention, prep: in receipt of the model of the Invention. \ TM. SPENCE, Coxrnactor, Briiorn, &c. Subseriber in returning his sincere s for the very liberal patronaze bee {on Rim in the past would inform the rally that having honght a pro- pert) moved into the Vill of Prince Albert, he will in future « 5 . attention to his busines now: ready to undertak Plastering v he done. The best m workmanship, a WAM. SPE) Prince , April 5, 1575. WITLI COO% po Ee HERG er av at] LICENSED AUCTIONEER. BTURNING my sincere thanks to my numerous fricnds and patrons for their liberal patronage bestowed upon me as Anctioneer danny the past cight years, I would now ! 10 offer my services to atl rm Stock, Implements; or to sell hy Auction anywhere io, the township of Mariposa projpert North Ontar xtensive practice as Auc- rege nibied me to ju the value of ~ ock with an accy 3 d to Connty, and this ix of import- ance as 1 the A weer is not a good judg: of the value of Stock he may soon lose far more than his fee in any sale, Bill stamps always on hand Sale Bills arranged and notes supplied free of charge Days of Op envi Office, where a be kept Terms Liberal. Port Perry, Sept 4, 1877. tion Farm none in the may be aranged at the Sale Register will W.oM. WW, BE. MAJOR, ICENSED AUCTIONEER All parties 2 wishing his services can call at the GQOlserver! Ofhee, Port Perry, and arrange for days of Sales. Glen Major, Oct. 10, 1876. WM. GORDON, Licensed Auctioneer, Valuator, &e. YOR the Township of Brock, Uxbridge, Scott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mariposa and Eldon, pa¥™ Parties entrusting their Sales to me may rely on the utmost attention being given to their interests. WM GORDON, Sunderland, Brock. T. H. WALSHE, ICENSED Auctioneer for the Township of Brock, Thorah, Mara & Rama in North Ontario; Mariposa, etc., in the County of Victoria. Residence--Cannington, Brock. Orders left at this office, or at his residence will be punctnally attended to. Debts col- Jected In Cannington, or otherwise, and prompt remittarices made. Remember-- WALSHE, the North Ontario Auction- eer. © WHITBY STEAM MARBLE WORKS. J. & R. WOLFENDEN, VW rouesate and Retail dealers in Foreign and American Marble Man- tlex, Monuments, &c., Dundas £¢ , Whitby Also, Agent for the Scottish Granite. Also Building Stone cut to orde:, > JOHN NOTT, Agent, Port Perry. '32 Qanuington, Sept. 26, 1876, Whitby, July 29. 1874, INSPECTOR of WEIGHTS § MEASURES Money, Laud & Insurance PORT PERRY, Investment, Mortgages Purchased. Sale or to Rent. AGENTS FOR THE Of Steamships JOHN & DAVID J. ADAMS, Office in Mr. Ross' Ontario Buildings, Port Perry. Port Perry, Jan, 23, 1579, JAMESLUND, MONEY, LAND & INSURANC3 BROKER, Cc INVEYANCER, Commissioner for taking J Aflidavits in Court of Queen's Bench, &e. INEY 1 LOAN MON i iO JOA In any manner to suit borrowers, Mor Botight, Accom Notes, &e., Collected prompt remittances made, party horrowi 1 eom mission wed to hx his « wl money the Lowest vn time for can get it and iy part oral ¥ binding thems t such sim, whether sn prin. ont on de n 2 to 2) years on farm, or good productive town property In all casos where the title is perfect, the cost Ww , As] light to the he A and 1 possibly be no If the tit pe + money will be paid here in (two weeks after making applica tion, | JAMES IF i Block, Cor, Broce oI streets, Uxbridge. TO LOAN. The undersigned hasany amount of Mone to lend upon Farm and Town Property, 4 | 33 Unusually Low Rates of Interest! | would crush mo to the earth. Loans can be repaid in any mauner to sui the horrower. il Improved Farms, epcheap. nd Wild Investments ma in Municipal tures, Pank end other marketable Stocks. Apply to JAMES HOLDEN, Broker, &e. Whithy, April 10, 1873. NOTICE TU FAI MES & GTHERS MONEY TO LCAN. \ als to suit borrows nt Expedition assured. . CHRISTIAN. 1 ers interest thi and most reasonable te {ONEY TO LOAN. rj" HE Subscriber is prepared to lend money on improved property for terms from one to twenty years, it for Western CANADA Coxe He has also instructed to invest a large amount of Private Funds, Inter st Eight per cent No Commissic N F. PATERSON. Port Perry. May 20, 1878 Solicitor Loax axp CLEMENT DAWES, AS Money to Loan on Farm security in | i any manner to suit borrow Mort. fagres wht at lowest rates Accounts, Notes, &¢, collected on reasonable Com. mission Apply personally, or by letter to C DAWES, Auctioneer, &ce., Port Perry, March 7, 1878. MONEY (Private Funds,] I'o Loan on good Farms, at & per cent in- terest LYMAN ENGLISH, Barrister, &c., Oshawa November 21, 1866. WESTERN ASSURANCE COMPANY. INCORPORATED 1861. CATITAL . ' $802000. (With power to.ncrease to $1,000,000.) HEAD OFFICE, TORONTO. p65 Insurances effected at the lowest cairent rates on Buildings, Merchandise, and other property, against loss or damage Ly fire. JNO & D. J. ADAMS, Ld Ageuts, Port Perry. Port Perry, Jah 22, 1879. THE ONTARIO Farmers' Mutual Insuance Co'y! Head Office, Whitby, and their contents, country School Houses and Churches. Those wishing to iwsure and thereby support a Home Insurance Company have now an opportunity of doing so, either by applying to the Head Office, or to any of the local Agents of the Company. Our rates will be found as low as those of any respon- sible Mutual Insurance Company in Canada. | Head Office--Opposite the Royal Hotel Brock St., Whitby C. NOURSE, Seerctary. INO. & D. J. ADAMS, BROKERS, AVE large sums of money on hand for A number of excellent Farms for You may call it foolish and ro- mantic if you like, but T repeat that 1 more casily forgive one great fault committed under strong temptation and foreign to the natural disposi- tion, than a series of petty, mean- nesses springing from and belong- ing to character. Thus spoke ITelen Travers to her sister, Mrs Cunningham, and the thread of their conversation is taken up where first it was ovorheard. Tt was a strange spot for anything like a confidenfful or it sentimental con versation to have taken place; but every one inust have noticed that subjects of interest often arise in the The two hour at most unexpected manner. ladies had mistaken the which the morning concert was to commence and arrived gomewhat too early. and consequently had taken their seats before any others were occupied. Perhaps, warming with the subject under discussion, they had not observed the few stragglers which had from time to time dropp ed in, and certainly had not beard regular, her countenanco was as changeful as the sea; for it mirrored every thought and feeling as they welled up from her woman's heart. Early moved from the influence of wordly minded parents, she had been reared up by a widowed aunt, a high.minded being, who had found the sweetest solice for her own early bereavement in the artless nature of her young relative. Although by no means a stranger to tho metro- polis, or to society, the country had been Helen's Her young heart had had expanded beneath the inflnences of natare 3 home. that common name must the strang- er be known--so felt he in the hovr of endurance, when that strong man writhed in silent lonely agony on the floor of the gorgeous apartment ot which he he was master. Lifo is cither one long chapter of accidents. or ther is no such thing as an accident in the world. ~ Three days afterwards the stranger of the concert room was formally intro- duced to ITelen Travers at the house of a mutual friend. Three months from that day let us listen to their words, they had been betrothed for weeks. her taste had been refined, her fancy quick- | had | read much she had time and leasure ened by it, and though she to think more. Tn short she was a fine natural { character, a3 little warped as possi - | ble by the prejudicts of the selfish | Death | | had a year deprived horof her more | conventionalities of society. than mother, and the independance | which that beloved relative had be- | quoathed to her, while it rehdered her an object of onvy to her un- added with a smile, 'as you are, my interest | exacted | Inator for | Delen | This Company is now fully organized and is prepared to accept risks on Farm Bnildings married sisters, seemed to her own the tfootfal of a gentleman who heart no consolation for her irrepar- antered, and seated himself im- : : : able loss. madiately behind them, just at that 4 . Bt stranger w cor moment when some of the attends it the stranger who had over | | | | | an heard those few sentences, which, to | using benches near farts were a thoughtful mind, revealed a world | He i i the orchestra and making prodigious aia i, of knowledge, what of him? din in doing so. a i : . 1 co y Lo a * r concert |! «I could not have married a man had come to that morning eoncert | i : thal simply to enjoy music i chic liu whom I did not take pride,' ve |*'MP enjoy music in which he delighted; yet so absorbed did he | plied Mrs. Cunningham ; © Iamvery | become in some that the which he had sought to hear, foll | | all engrossing | sorry for people who have ever been RY £ thoughts sweet sounds | led away to do anything wrong but | they must take the conséquence of s i % upon his soul only from time to timo their own conduct; certainly any y ~ gs chimes that harmonized with his {thing like disgrace or the world's . reflections, whatever they might be censure, falling upon my husband 2 y. mig ! | and were only remembered after wards by the power of association one! { tNot if ior: : : | which linked some peculiar cadence 1} tpi 'fault of a life,' resumed Helen; 'not his fault were the |: i with a thought, a dream, a memory; i you fored him Tory qearly. el or with a moment where his atien- | For, L think his very sufleting (jon pad been aroused by some ex= 1 would draw you more together. 1 | pression of pleasureor admiration in [have an idea that the very happy | the sweetestroice ho hud ever heard | Ho | ido not love half so deeply as those, : . , feo? e ply | --the voice of ITelen Travers. who know sorrow.' : : i ho k was not what boarding school girls | and youths in their teens call young | I call such ideas perfect non- | sense. f jens for he must ndve reached the age of | | "1 {Now y« RE hlied | r sister | o + . . | | know youdo,' replied lier sister) fog op ix and thirty ; and according | {with a faint smile, and playing as! , euch Ligh authority he had pass- | : : | she spoke with the fringe of her og ghe age ol romance and the eapa= | shawl. bility of a sudden love; and yet in| ¢Any one would think to bear| (ose two hours be drank as deeply | | | you talk, that yon had fallen in love! of the draught as ever did mortal | with some scapegrace or another, | man. A strange and awful youth | ind were seeking to excuse your "a i had checked and driven back the | folly, tide of emotions which belong to] [thing of the kind. You know I have {never felt anything more lasting "Susan! you know there is no-| that epoch, only that it might now | well with the concentrated might of a loftier sentiment, a chastened ten- i {than a passing fancy which one | shakes off, just a5 waking up from a derness and a restrained passion, -- Ile would ere half that time had ex- | dream' pired touched her ungloved hand, or to have perilled life to have | "How should 1 know ?' { ¢ Then believe 1 would not deé-| have caressed the light ringlet that ceive you. Though threcand-! floated trom time to time beyond her bonnet! | | | far less than anill assorted union, twenty, indeed I dread old maidism It seemed, too, that fortune was | Ilelen Travers turned her head as : to favor lim, for friends came up sho spoke, and though she did not and addressed Mrs. Canningham by perceive the stranger, he caught the name; mutual introduction elicited that of Helen. He had but to follow them to their door; and now he profile of heranimated countenance. But the audience were by this time arriving, and the sisters drow nearer knew who she was and where she together to make room for new lived. This he did with wonderful comers. There was an end to their | calmness. People always are calm conversation of course. on really great occasions; excep! Notwithstanding a certain family indeed, people who are themselves likeness, a look that was caught too small ever to make or understand now and then, the sisters were very them. different. ham, was far more beaatiful, if ex- Well--the pigmy of soul escapes the which Fate weaves for mankind, Theo elder, Mrs Cunning: through entangled marshes quisitely chiselled features and a into tho outer void of mere animal brilliant complexion could make her oxistence ; they are strong of heart and quick of seuse who are retained to play tho great parts in the strugglo of life and tho war of the presions. And yet, and yet, oh mystery of humanity! who that has suffered deeply has not felt that in the deepest depths of anguish there is o pause that vibrates not with pain! Feebly, and rather as the tirst faint promise of future joy than the flicker of an expiring power but still to console, still to whisper, ¢ Peace, peace; hotter thus than not to feel I' 80. But though quick and clever, even witty and accomplished, she was deficient in sentithent and powers of imagination; was a lover detail; and therefore dispised, be- cause it was to her incomprehen- sible, tho higher and geuveralizing mind. A thoroughly wordly education had completed her charac: ter and rendered hor a cold hearted, selfish woman of the world ; without enough heart to feel the necessity of affection, and yet possessing an in- satiable vanity that fed on universal admiration! Her sister formed a W. H. BROWNE, General Agent, The scene was a drawing- room in an antique country honse. Both were the guests of Mr.and Mrs. Cunningham. 'I bave put ono care, William, one sorrow in this world,' exclaimed Helen, pressing tho hand which bad fondly clasped hers between both his own. 'Oh, why this conceal- ment? You are free to do as you will and so am I. Though goud and generous and {rwo and 'rich,' she family, you well know would re ceive you with open arms.' "The time is come; be seated,' he replied in a tremulous voice, and releasing bis hand with a gesture that might have been, but was not, mistaken for coldness, And while Heien sunk on a neighboring couch he leaned his arin for support on the opposite side of the mantle piece. : lis countenance was pale as ashes, | but his voice became moro steady as he proceeded, +The first time I saw you' he con- tinued "I heard you say you could | more readily forgive the one great fault of a life, than habitual mean- ness of character. 1 have two sins to confess ere T would wed you--as 1 | might do, and you never know | them; you see if am my own se- | cuser, I also mako the most of my | virtues; therefore do I take some credit for enforcing secrecy tiil I) have summoned strength for the, confession For if you reject me, | the act, 1 and sorrow in believe | you would rather take the cold into your confidence. And yet, Helen, if there be solace in reveal- ing what I tell you, be free as air to be 50 worthless," the betrayal of my do so if you will. Life would secret would be as a feather, weigh- od a assuag 'You gainst the sweet thought of ng your sorrow.' frighten me," murmured Ilelen, struggling with emotion, 'In mercy," he exclaimed, 'not I will be brief. One of my sins has been wooing you. with tears --yet, the dark knowledge in my breast that a crime of my early lite and its consequences might well be con- sidered an insuperable obstacle to our union: Oh! forgive me this-- this at least." And he flung himself on his knee: before her, and buried his face in bis garments. ¢ What terror is to come? Quick --quick, in pity tell me, 'No; forgive me this last fault faust.' 'Yes, yes, she murmured, and her hand leaned heavily on his shoulder. The act unnerved him, and ashower of tears rained from his cyes.-- «Tell me,' again she whispered, «I cannot yet. Bear with me. 'Then I will guess.' «Ah, do.' {with childlike sobs, and breathing I given place to a serene happiness on With a shudder as she put each fearful question she began--* Ilave you shed human blood, protected by the law of honor, and feel now that you are a murderor ?' 1 never raised my arm in anger against aught that has breath; I never so much as kicked a snarling cur from my path.' "Have you been a false friend, de= ceiving where you wero trusted ?' I cannot recall to mind alie I ever told.' Once moro Ilelen's hand sought that of her lover ; but she withdrew it as a terrible thought rusbed to her mind. She paused ere she could gixe it words. At Have you been guided by the cod of man's moralitics and won a heart last sno said. perfect contrast. With features less So felt William Jobnson--for by only to fling it from yon ? or--or heen guilty of the deeper darker wrong still ?' "My conscience issirgularly free from all such stains. They who do these things speak not ot them as crimes." And he he looked up and met the tearful gaze of Helen Tra. vers without his own lids drooping. 'Then I will wed you," she ex- claimed, after a moment's pause, and only as your wife will learn this dreadful secret." 'You will 2' and William Johnson started to his feet as one who bad received as clectrie shock. «Twill! ' Tor a moment sho yiclded to his embrace, but he released her quick- ly. 'You would exclaimed, ¢ but you shall not. so wed me, he The dear memory of your words is a bappiness fate cannot take from me, it gives me strength to complete Theso manicle the tho tragedy. Listen. limbs have borne the law furnishes to the convicted thief ; this form bas quailed in the felons dock beneath the callous stare of the stranger multitude; but even then I did not lie. Towned that I had stolen the means to purchase food for a famishing mother. The name which I have dared to ask you to bear, .is forever enrolled in the chronicles of crime--The convict crossed the seas, and was a slave for the seven brightest years of his youth--Ilelen-->Miss Travers, do you not scream or faint, or wither me Oily Are you woman or with a look. tears, quiet common tears! angel ?' 'Be calm, and tell mo all.' ¢ You will believe I meant to re place tae note I--I stole, though the judge would not eredit my story.'-- ppafplict | 4 city in a neighboring state, This is all I have to tell, and why should I picture tuo haunting pre sence of a memory, and the worth lessness of a wealth which descended to me from the relative who ex posed my youth to temptations and left my mother to perish 7 'The future; the happy futare.-- May it make you forget the past! --William I' ¢ ITelen At her {fect once more; bat now passionate exclamations, and fervent blessings. It was the next day; and that burst of wild tumultuous joy hud | | the part of William Johnson, while | | a softer and more thoughtful ex- | pression reigned ellen. 'I have compact to propose,' on tho face of she laying her hand upon hi and looking up calmly, yet allection ately in his face; 'let for the future speak notof this dark thing, except indeed there be just necessity and occasion for renewing the subject, Let it be a sacred deposit, of which each has tho key, but do not suffer | it to belong to our lives by frequent | discourse or thought of it. Thus may time reap bright realities to bide and stifle these smouldering ashes. You tell me that your com mon name hus been to you a shelter from suspicion; that your secret rests with on tried and trusty friend and that the world, among its com- mon blunders,deems your love of ro tiroment the spirit of pride and ex clusiveness. I will look at the re salt of the leisure that retirement has afforded--the cultivation of in- tellect and the habits of simple enjoyment. Yet whence came your enlarged sympathies with humanity? These are not fostered by hermit like retirement.' | that yo | 8! «Can you ask? You are silent, -- 1 need not tell you how much is known intuitively by one who hus | erred and suffered.' ¢ And expiated !' Ab, deep the meaning of that word which burst spontaneously from the heart which jelt aright !-- Deeper and higher and more world embracing wisdom than aught that was ever extracted by the casuistry ofthoschools. Themercifal God by His instruments, the mysteries of 4 3 F) . : gm § inexhaustable nature, beals the wounds and lesser ills of the body until it becomes whole again, And must the wounds of tho soul fester 1 for over? What is man that he dares pluck hope from the breast of iis fellow? And is not the punish- ment he inflicts for crime butSatin's works oun earth, except so far as it provents, amends--and through the sufferings and amends expiates ?-- what should be rather than is, when he declares-- The poet pants 'There is a future for all who have ' [the virtue to repent and the energy to tone.' May Le prove the poet Ee a Of tho myraid of real tragedies which are hidden behind the veil of conventional life, nota few are thera in which woman plays a ministering angel and builds among the wreck of happiness, a saving ark by the spell of her trusting faith and a wisdom that is of the heart! RA SET) There is a ekeleton in every closet, whicit is more than can be said of every grave now« a-days. : The othograplical difference between & sick girl and a brickbet is that one is a missile and the other is a miss ill. +I find you a very profitable concern,' as the spirit merchant said to the cistern, and the sugar dealer to the sand bank. An old sa captain says that when he's aboard ship he is never governed by his mate, Lut when he is at home he always is. They lave a cheerful horse railroad in a One terminus is at a cemetery, and the other is at the State prison, An old miser having listened to a power= ful discourse on charity, said ; ¢ That sermon sstrongly proves the necessity of alms-giving that--1I've almost a mind to beg. An old bachelor accidently dropped his alse teeth into a grate of burning coals.-- « Never mind, uncle,' said the nephew, it isn't the first time I have known you to grate your teeth" An old man laving been badly burt ina railway collision, being advised to sue the company, for damages, said, * Well, no, not 1 for ages: I've had enough of them, but i'll just suc 'em for repaiie,' When the Prime Minister of the first * Napoleon was ill the Emperor said to the physician, ¢ spare no pains. Remember the treasury of France is at your disposal and ha e the life of a Prime Ministerin your han The physician replied: ¢ Tho poorest person in the empire who is in my charge becomes a Prime Minister' A Scotch drugzist was aromsed by the of his night.bell, Ile arose, went vd a customer with a His wife grumbled, * What profit do you get out of that penny? CA down stairs, and se of ha'penny,' was the rgply.--¢ And for that hi'penny you'll be awake a long time,' re- joined the wife, --+ Aweel," replied the placid d t, «the dose of salts will keep him awake h longer,' © An eminent Scottish divine happened to meet two of his parishioners at the house of a lawyer whom he considered too sharp a tionesr, The lawyer jocularly and aciously put the question: « Doctor thes do you look upon them as white or black are members of your flock ; may I ask sheep ?--¢T don't know,' answered the divine dryly, ¢ whether they are white black sheep, but T know if they are here long they are pretty sure to be flecced.! A little girl reproved for playing out of doors with the boys, and informed that be- ing seven years old, she was 'too big for that now.' But, with imaginable innocence she replied, ¢ Why the bigger we grow the better we like 'em,' No blrd is actnally on the wing. The wings are on the bird, A man can never see the point of a joke in @ paper he does not pay for. « The horses and wagon were mixed up like a ham omelette,' says a Navada (Cal.) paper, descrbing a runaway. The Chinese Encyolpredia meetsa long felt want ; no family should be without it.-- It is published in Pekin, and has only 5,020 volumns. Price §7,500. First woman--DBless me, Emily, you don't look as well as usual--indeed, 1 do not think I ever saw you looking so old as you do to- day. Second woman--My dear, I never was asold as I am today. A man whose hen-rooit was recently robbed received a note which said: 'The old black hen was very tough, and a friend whom T invited to dinner has ruined all his front teeth pulling at the old fowl.' An old miser, who was notorious for self thin. ¢Idonot know, said the miser. +I Dave tried various means for getting fatter, but witliont succes,' ¢ Have yon tried vict- nals ?' inquired the friend, 5 NO. 1100 denial, was one day asked why he wasso i