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J hic © fhe Royal _ HEAD OFFICE... TORONTO, ONT. Capital (Paid Up) - - - $8,000,000 oRests - - - 2,000,000 ESTABLISHED 1867. BUSINESS WITH FARMERS In addition to handling Commercial Paper, this Bank makes a special business «of Loans to Farmers, and the discount- ing of Farmers' Sales Notes at reasonable rates of interedt. Careful and "prompt attention is also given to the collecting of Notes, ete. SAVINGS BANK DEPARTMENT. Specinl Attention Is Directed to the Following Advantages q offered by our Savings Bank: . Deposits of One Dollar and upwards received and interest allowed at current rates. Interest is added to the deposit Twice in each year, at the end of May and November. The Depositor is subject to no delay whatever in the withdrawal of the whole or any portion of the deposit. No Charge is made on withdrawing or depositing mouey. * Port Perry Branch 'W. H. DUNSFORD, Manager R. D. "ARCHER, M.D.C.M. Victoria University ; M.B. Toronto University, Membr ov the College of Physicians and Surgeons, Ont.; Licentiate of the Rgyal College of Surgeons, Edinburg: Licentiate lege of Physicians, Edin- burg ; Member of the Faculty of Physicians and Surgeons , Glasgow ; Late Resident Papil of the Rolunda Hospital, Dublin, far Women. Office and Residence, second door west of Davis' Furniture Emporiam, Queen Street, Office hours--9 to 11a. and 2 to 5 p.m,, and evenings. I have taken as partner, my brother, Dr R. Archer, M. D., C. M., Member of Col- "* ege of Physicians and Surgeons, Ont. * Port Perry, June 9, 1897. DR. E. L. PROOTER (SUCCESSOR TO DR, CLEMENS ) M.D C.M. of Trinity College University, Toronto, with Honor Certificate. Fellow of Trinity Medical College, Toronto. Mem, of Col. of Physicians and Surgeons, Ont., Licentiate of University of State of New York. Office and residence on Dr. Clemens' old site. Opposite Town all. PORT PERRY. NOTICE. R. J. H. SANGSTER, Physician, Sur geon and Accoucheur, and Dr. W. A. Sangster, Dentist, may on and after 10-day, be found iu their new Surgical and Dental Offices over the Post Office, where they will be found as heretofore, propured to attend to their respective ob in all their branches. Port Perry Dec, 8, 1897. DR. 8. J. MELLOW, PrYs101AN, SURGEON, &C. Office and Residence, Queen 8t., Port Pery Uffice hours--$ to 10 a.m.; 1to3 p.m, and Evenings. Telephone in office and house, open night Savings Bank | Department, Deposits receivad at the highest current credited to rates, Interest calenlated an: each depositor semi-annually, H. G. HUTOHESON, Port Perry, June 26, 1897. Sanaoet, STERLING (British Capital) To lend at 4 45 and B per cent on good "Mortgage security. Apply to DAVID J. ADAMS Banker and Broker, Part Perry, Ont. MONEY TO LOAN. FYBE Subscriber is pre d to LEN ANY AMOUNT on Farm Security 3b AT 5 PER OENT. 4ar Also on Village Property. 4 MORTGAGES BOUGHT, B31 HUBERT L. EBBELS, Baruister, Office next to Ontario Bank Higher J. A. MURRAY, DENTIST, [Rooms in the Leonard Block over Mr, J, H. Brown's Office.] PORT PERRY. All branches = of nti i Crown and Bre Toe ling practiced. Artifical Teeth on Gold, Silver, Aluminum or Rubher Plates. Fillings of Gold, Silver or Cement Painless extraction when required: 42 Prices to suit the times® We A. SANGSTER, DENTAL SURGEON. )ffice over the Post Office. Office Hours--9 to 12 a.m., 2 to 6 p.m. Also open Saturday evenings. #7Gold Fillings, Bridge Work a Specialty. ie and Crown Vitalised Air. Dr F D. McGrattan (DENTIST) L.D.S. of Royal College of Dental Surge also D.D.S. of Toronto Tarerons: te Office in the Allison Block over Allison's Drug Store. Offico hours--8 a.m. t08.30 p.m, tort Perry, April 9, 1902. JOS. BAIRD ICENSED AUCTIONEER for the County of Ontario. Sale Register at the OBskrvER Office Patronage solicited. Manchester, Jan. 19, 1899. 4nd day over the lines south, co with the residence of G. L. Robson, V.8. Port Perry, Nov. 15, 1894. WM. H. HARRIS, BA. LLB. MONEY TO LOAN. Private Funds at 4 per cent. Feb. 7, 1901 N. F. PATERSON, KX. C, ter, Solicitor, Notary Public, &c., : Nos. 310 311, Temple Building, Cor. Bay and Richmond Streets, Toronto. Toronto, March 31, 1808. J. E. FAREWELL, K.C., LLB. Sounty i: Crown Attorney, Barrister - itor, &c,, Ni Public and Conveymncer ; 2lae-ronth wing Court House, Whitby, nn : McCAW, . ISSUER WwW H. 3 oF MARRIAGE LICENSES, Port Perry Ont. Port. Perry, Dec. 19, 1883. AUOTIONEER. Tue undersigned takes this opportuaity of returning thanks for the very liberal patrcnage he hae received as Auctioneer in the past. The incrensed experience and extensive practice which I have had will be turned to advantage of patrons, and parties \ 3 sales may rely on Tort will be sp to make it profitable i pasties ng viele wales in my hands. ale ster wi ound at th Leland House, Cesarea. . we THOS. SWAIN. Cesarea, Aug. 26, 1896, WM. GORDON, : Licensed Auctioneer, Valuator &c. R the Townships of Brock, Uxbridge, Fei Thorah, Mara, Rama, Mariposa Partieseutrusting their Sales to me may rely on the utmsot attention being given to eir intrests. 'WM. GORDON, Sunderland. PROF. 8. J. COHN eT ? it, ! ve, oronto will visit Port y - All era HY Ta am be t REFERENCES-- Licensed Aucti for the Townshi; of Port " = are directed for CN Valuators Auctioneers g p of Perry and Townshi 3 of Bougog. P EG TO INTIMATE to the general public that ary business under the ve head intrusted their { abo recei in every re] IA ir | b o dates to the OBSERVER Office, Port Perry, and make arrangements there, or apply personally or by letter to either JOHN ABBOTT, Port Perry, or JAS. McKITRICK, Greenbank. F. SMITH, General Carter Takes pleasure in returning thanks to the public for the esteemed pat ronage bestowed on him since com- mencing the business of Carting and would state that he is fully equipped to do CARTING AS IT SHOULD BE at the very shortest notice and at prices that cannot fail to please the public. Carting to and from the Railway Depot a Specialty. Residence--Brick House, oppo- site the Methodist Parsonage. F. SMITH. Port Perry, Aug. 1901. Sittings of the Division Courts COUNTY OF ONTARIO. 1902. 1. WHITBY--Olerk, D. C. Macdonell, Whitby --Janu- ary 8, February 4, March 4, April 2, May6, June 3, Jay's, Beptamber & Ootober November 4, Dec: ember 4. Jan. 6, 1903. OSHAWA Clerk, D. 0. Macdonell, Whitby--Janu- wry 9, February 5, March 5, April 3, May 7, June 4, July 5, September 5, October, N 5, Dec- SnBers, Jan 1. 108. Ey Norte, Des 2. BROUGHAM--Olerk, M. Gleeson, Greenwood: ary 10, March 6, ember 7, Jeu. 8, 3 pope PERRY Oa J Burnham, Part Perry --January 14, March 7, Ma , Beptes 12, November 11, Jan. 9, 1903. ow isa 4 RD Maencas Say 30. Guy 11, 8 Anuary a) 9 ay 30, July 11, tembes robo Tian. 10 003, Ty IT, Septem BC ars 20 Marc Sor Max 36, July 10, Bepibmber anuary 16, March 20, May 9, z rember Bb, Jam, 10s i, Sepiorn 6. BEAVERTON - Clerk, Geo. F. Bruce, Junuary 15, March 19. May 2, Septem! ember 19, Jan. 14, 1903. 1. UPTERGROVE--Clerk, Thos. P. Hart, Uj --March 18, May 27, September 23, Novem By order, |--Janv- May 9, July 8, Beptember 9, Nov. 1003. Gould, Usxbridge-- Beaverton-- ber 24, Nov- ve r 18. J. BE, FAREWELL, Clerk of the Poace. Dated at Whitby, Nov. 28d, 1001 Located in Our New Premises $.T.CawkeraSon ISH TO ANNOUNCE that fhat they are now comfort- ably ensconsed in their new pre mises in the Purdy Block where the Public will always fin an ample supply of CHOICE, FRESH MEATS at prices that cannot fail to please. A full supply of Meats of the very best grades, and cut in dimensions to please the most fastidious. All orders will receive prompt attention. S. T. CAWKER & SON. March 5, rgoz. MISS HARRISON Dress and Mantle Maker ISHES to inform the ladies that she has moved to her fine Rooms in the Allison Block where she is prepared to execute all orders in Dress and Mantle Making in a manner unsurpassed for Correctness of Style ; and Charming Effect. We shape and mold every piece of material until the finished garment resembles a work of art. Remember our claims, and see how carefully we vindicate them. Our charges are consistent with the value given. Port Perry, March 27, 1902. their care will respoct a girl, with a face rather made charming by regular and large dark eyes. og. OR 4 She walked without any hesitation to the office and inquired: ~*~ 4 "Is Senor Tenonl ih?" ¥ The clerk struck a bell and shouted, "Front!" The end boy of the row seated on a bench started up and presented him: self before the clerk with a "Yes, sir" "Show this lady to No. 18." "Oh, no," exclaimed the visitor. "I know where Senor Tenoni's room Is. But would you be so kind as to do me a great favor?" she queried. "With pleasure. I shall pleased to do anything I can for you." "Please take this letter." With the words she held out an envolope. "Why, it's addressed to me!" "Yes; it is addressed to you." "But I did not know I knew you-- ! that is, I didn't know you knew me," cried the astonished man. "No, 1 suppose not," answered the girl, with some embarrassment. Then she added: "But you must promise not to open It for at least half an hour. 'Will you give me your word?" "Why, yes, of course," the clerk an- Lr AN RIGHT OUR MISTAKES." a e policeman guarding him to spring 'forward. But the latter stopped short, his eyes dilated with amazement, and his surprise was shared by every one hose eyes were turned on the dock. Only Mr: Briggs had not turned his edd, but now the counsel said to him: "Just look, Mr. Briggs, and tell me if u see any one In the courtroom who inds you of Miss Cramer." The witness shook his head despond- tly, but raised his eyes. They fell fill on a figure in a blue and white wn, on a salle hat circled with a ble and white band, on a dainty face ted by lustrous dark eyes that med to plerce to the bottom of Mr. Biggs' heart. He gasped and cried: d his cry, "It's she!" courtroom, all eyes fixed on the rsterious woman, who stood, lovely smiling, In the dock. Then in a flash the woman vanished, and Tenonl in her place--Tenoni, who tossed st tolhis counsel the gown and hat and That learned gentleman at once addressed the court: shall, with the court's permission, a few questions of the prisoner as| thit will, I think, effectually clear up ewered, with as much grace of manner gy; mystery. as one so puzzled could command. The mysterious visitor turned away and went slowly down the corridor. The clerk stared after her and saw her pg. pause and knock at No. 18. She wait- ed a moment, apparently for an an- swer, then opened the door and en- tered. When the door had closed be- hind her, he turned to a careful con- templation of the letter, which was ad- dressed in dainty handwriting: Cra "What is your profession?' am a quick change artist." "Who wrote the note read by Mr. gs?" "Rdid." "Who was the person known as Julia er?" "What was your object in the decep- tion?' "I /wished to play a practical joke "John Briggs, Esq., Grand Hotel." The envelope could properly be At a quarter past 8 the door of No. 18 opened, but it He was alone and hastily left the hotel without opened at half past 3. tvas Tenoni who appedfed. a word to any one. "Now, that's funny," t clerk. "But he'll be back soon, I pose." 3 But the moments dragged on, and' I noni did not return. "This is a curious business," clerk mused, and then, it being minute of half past 3, he opened the letter. It ran as follows: Dear Mr. Briggs--Circumstances I must that| would set New York talking about me.| I came here to get an engage- ment. I knew the fact that 1 was un- known in this country would prevent my getting a big salary, so 1 hit on this plan to get talked about." { ar re think you have succeed: "I shall know when I am offered an engagement." There was talk of committing Tenonl for contempt of court, but it came to nothing. Instead the whole country laughed, and all New York went to marvel at the lightning changes of this ingenious artist, whose salary was $300 weekly. not reveal have surrounded me with per- fls. I must see Senor Tenoni today, but he is a desperate man. If you should hear me shriek, come to my help, and if 1 do not come out of his room by 4 o'clock have a search made for me. I trust my life to you, for I have heard of your noble character from a mutual friend. When we next meet, all will be made clear to you. JULIA CRAMER. Mr. Briggs turned pale as he read 01d and New Style Calendar. Under what Is called the old style the Julian calendar assumed the length of the solar year to be 365} days, whereas It was eleven minutes and a few seconds less. accumulated ns years rolled on and be- This annual error this extraordinary document. In a few minutes the whole hotel Repeated knoek- ings at No. 18 gained no response. Then the door was tried and found to be Ultimately the police were summoned, the door was beaten open, Nobody was found, nor was there any trace of the according "to the evi- clerks, bel- boys and porter, had entered there at was in an uproar. locked. and a search was made. wouwan - who, dence of eyewitnesses, 8 o'clock, but had never come out. The same night Tenoni was arres charged with having murdered his vis- itor. When Tenoni was arraigned, court, jury, bar and public were much affect- ed by the charms of the victim as set forth by the clerk, the porter and the The most strenuous efforts on the part of the police failed to dis- to bellboys. cover any other person ANSwel the name or description of Julia mer. It was hoped that Tenoni would ns confess and explain the singular by which he had managed to of the 'body. sessed of dauntless effrontery gisted that he had never kno! person named Julla Cramer, 'When the accused had been f the following questions and were given: nw "Were you in your room at Grand hotel at the time when, stated by the witnesses who preceded you, this person entered the hotel and asked for you?" "I was not." This answer caused much surprise But Tenoni seemed pos- gan to be fully recognized about the begiuning of the sixteenth century. The Gregorian calendar, or new style of writing dates, was first futroduced in the year 1682, and ten days were then struck out of the calendar. Oth er regulations were also made--name- ly, that one day more should be drop ped In each hundredth year which was not a fourth hundredth after 1582. In England the old style was directed to be discontinued and the new style in troduced in the year 1752. The change of style was effected in the following manner In September, 1752: Eleven days being the difference between dates written according to the two styles, old and new, the day after Wednesday, Sept. 2, 1752, was called Thursday, Sept. 14, 1752, omitting the 8d to the 13th, both inclusive. A care- ful reading of the article on "Calen- dar" in any encyclopedia will assist the reader and student to a fair com- prehension of the old style and new style differences and why. ---- He Meant Well. I was laid up in the cabin of a North Carolina mountaineer with a sprained ankle, and, though he would willingly have provided me with the best, the fare consisted of pones, fried squirrel and corn coffee every meal. On the x day I must have let slip some on ol things were growing monoto- for he looked over at me and "#stranger, I reckoned to make a hange in this yere fodder, but it didn't come about." #0Oh, the fodder is all right," I re and rather increased the general feels ing of the prisoner's guilt, since & TO OONSUMPTIVES. The undersigned having been restored to health by a simple meaus, aftér suffering for several years with a very severe lung affection, and that dread disease Consump- tion, is anxious to make known to his fel- low sufferers the means of curc. To those who desire it, he will send (free of charge) a copy of the ion used. which they will find » sure cure for Consumption, atarrh, Bronohitis and all throat and lung es. He hopes all sufferers will try his Fewady, as itis invala: able. Those desiring the presori which will cost them Nothing, an prove a blessing, will please address, ' Rev. EDWARD A. WILSON, ; Brooklyn, New York. may | Goop SHoE | Varugs. ~ Women's shoes, adapted for short skirts, new manish shape--hand sewed and welted in box enamel-- tent leather and vici kid lace or is XV. heels in arch--hand turn flexible soles. See window. . It affords a view of havibg geen him leave the room a few minutes later. ud "pid you have any visitor in your room at the hotel on the day in ques: tion?" 53 of witnesses had testified to 'plied. "But I don't skoesly think it is, and 1 was gwine to make a change. Sorry to say I couldn't do it, but the dratted 'woodchuck got clean away!" A Hopeless Case. not to be! "I did not." A murmur of disapprobation arose, but ceased when the counsel passed to the clerk of the court a small parcel | which had been lying on the table be- fore him. "I wish to offer In evidence the con , | tents of this parcel." 3 The articles were passed to the jud who examined them curiously. counsel then asked that they shou be examined by the prisoner, Who. e glanced at them, but 'however, hardly Jeft them lying in his lap. Counsel for the defense requested that Mr. Briggs should be recalled. Then he asked: all leathers for dress wear--high| enshrined There was a brilliant reception at the house of Mrs. Amory. Among the guests was a certain Mr. Mackenzie, a man of grave and somewhat taciturn 7? eanor, whom several of the young ladles present had tried to engage In versation, but without much suc "One of them spoke to the hostess out him. "He seems to be rather uneasy and of place at a party like this," she es," replied Mrs. Amory, with a ht smile; "be can't talk anything ut sense."-- Youth's Companion, a mar gibs me a whole advice," said Uncle Eben, "1 help e'pleiontn' dat if his opin- came nightly visitors to the farmers' sheep pens, Bears and wolves fol- lowed the deer even into the settlers' clearings and pounced upon them there, killing them at such a rate that deer reeves were afterward chosen in every town to protect those valuable animals. Many a one story house was entirely covered with snow, and even {he chim- neys in some instances could not be seen. Tunnels led from house to house, and snowshoes were in frequent requl- sition. Stepping out of the chamber Win dow, some people ventured to explore the fields of snow. One young man in Newbury, Mass, was paying his ad- dresses to a lady who lived three miles away and had not seen her for a week could no longer be endured, and, mount- his own--by way of a chamber win- dow. As he was the first person the family had seen since the storm, his visit was highly appreciated. Poorly? i GATE "For two years | suffercd ter- ribly from dyspepsia, with great depression, and was always fecling poorly. I then tried Ayer's Sarsa- parilla, and in one weck I was a new man."--John McDonald, Philadelphia, Pa. Don't forget that it's "Ayer's" Sarsaparilla that will make you strong and hopeful. Don't waste your time and money by trying some other kind. Use the old, tested, tried, ind. true Ayer'siSarsapa- rilla. $1.00 a bottle. All druggists. Ask your doctor what he thinks of Ayer's iranpariila. Ho knows all about this grand oid Tammly medicino." Follow bis advice and v Satisfied. © S.C. AYER Co., Lowell, Mass. The Persevering Eel Young eels in passing up a river ghow the most extraordinary perse- verance in overcoming all obstructions. The large flood gates--sometimes fif- teen feet in height--on the Thames might be sepposed sufficient to bar the progress of a fish the size of a darning needle. But young eels have a whole some idea that nothing can stop them, and in consequence nothing does. Speaking of the way in which they as- cend flood gates and other barriers, one writer says: "Those which die stick to the post; others, which get a little high- er, meet with the same fate, until at last a layer of them is formed which enables the rest to overcome the diffi- culty of the passage. "The mortality resulting from such *torlorn hopes' greatly helps to account for the difference in the number of young eels on their upward migration and that of those which return down stream in the autumn. In some places these baby eels are much sought after and are formed into cakes, which are eaten fricd."--London Standard. Explaining His Presence. A young lady who had been pouring tea at a function In a suburban town, baving toward the end of the affair become somewhat fatigued, sat down in a quiet corner of the room, where she witnessed the following incident: A young man came in and made his way to the hostess, greeting her and apologizing for his lateness. "Awfully glad to see you, Mr. Blank," sald the hostess. "So good of you to come, and all the way from New York too. But where is your brother? "] am commissioned to tender his regrets. You see, we are so busy just now that it was fmpossible for both of us to get away, and so we tossed up to see which of us should come." "How nice! Such an original idea! And you won." "No," sald the young man absently; "I lost." His Nightoap. Young Husband (plcking up bundle from table)--What have you here, love --something for me? Young Wife--Yes, dear. I went shop- ping this morning expressly to buy them for you, I hope you'll like them. Young Husband -- Like them! ot course I'll lke them if you bought them. But what are they? Young Wite--They're nightcaps, dear. I heard you tell Sparkles this morning that you'd go down to the club with him this evening and get a nightcap, and I made up my mind at once that I'd save you that trouble by seelng that you had some in the house. Just open the parcel and try them on, won't you, love?--Pearson's. The Reward of Kindness. A kind hearted man in New Zealand form giving apples to a circus caged in a cattle od the | after the storm. This state of things nd all the bellboys and the porter | | ing his snowshoes, he went over tho | hil a left | ills to enter her house as he had left | harvest fields, which recalls the Bibli- ot | i | . dnander Love, ; natives of the Hawaiian Islands d thunder as being Mauua from the clouds, This cu- Lou's | otion has crystallized & weather clan Rtv" yy ¥ plant the house leek-- Jupiter's b --an thelr house roofs as a preventive against thunder, lightning and evil spirits, a custom which reminds one of Charlemagne's edict, "Et habeat quis que supra domum suam Jovis bar- bam." Another widespread superstition, and one that has been noted among the tribes and nations from China to Eng- land and from Cape Hatteras to the Golden Gate, tells us that if the "claps" or reports of thunder come in even numbers the storm will be of short duration and very mild, but, on the other hand, if they come in theven numbers, especially if the reports be a series of five, nine or thirteen dis- tinct claps, much loss of life and prop- erty will result. ---- The Gleaners. The old custom of gleauning in the cal story of Ruth and Naomi, Is not | obsolete In England, and ia Hertford- shire, Bedfordshire and the neighbor- ing counties as soon as the wheat is gathered in the late days of August there may be seen in the newly cleared fields numbers of women and children diligently picking up one by one the scattered ears and forming them into neat little sheaves, which they carry in their hands until large enough to be bound up. When the daylight fails, all the booty is bound up in cloths and carried home on the heads of the gleaners. At home they thrash it out by hand and sell the grain or use it for their chickens. The gathering of | a half peck is usually a full day's work | for a child, and often a woman spends a whole day in gathering very little more. Gleaning, however, is looked upon somewhat in the light of a picnie. The mother and children leave home in the morning, take with them food for LP the ambition out of them. They dull, depressed, lifeless. Listen! The hard work you's hoes Joidg fas hr we i on the kidneys. ery out in protest through the Le Tad You feel wretched all over because the kidneys are not wo! and poison is ci ing in your system. The kidneys must hav help--better give them the benefit of the best Kidney Medicine mada --Dr. Pitcher's Backache Kidney Tablets--the preseription of a kid- | ney specialist--the result of years of study of kidney diseases, PAIN PREVENTED SLEEP, Mrs. N. Laviolette, Arnprior, Ont, writes as follows: "I have used Dr. Pitcher's Backache Kidigy Tablefa, They are beyond question the t kidney rem. edy I have ever used. I had lamenéss aud an actte pain between the shoulders. I could not sleep nights. I had more or less headache, Often I suffered from in- digestion caused by uric acid in my sys. 3 tem. These troubles departed after I hal used Dr. Pitcher's Backache Kidney Tab- lets, my kidneys were strengthened and & rested better nights. I think these Tabiets the most effective kidney remedy I have ever seen. 1 know that they surpass every other that I have tried heretofore, and { do nob hesitate in recommending them." Dr. Pitcher's Backache Kidney Tablets are 50c. a Box, at all druggists or by mail, T= Di. Zixa Prrcuxe Co., Toronto, Ont, The Crafty Farmer, It appears that an old farmer near Houghton owned a large pile of small the day, and stay out in the fields until | gyoneq with which he wished to ll & nightfall. ee A Quick Witted Pastor. In Germany a gountry preacher was a sermon when suddenly he preach lost the thread of his discourse, and, do what he would, he could not find it again. The congregation was greatly embar- ragsed and was wondering what the matter was when he startled it by ex- claiming hurriedly, "Pardon me, my brethren, for pausing in my sermon, but it scems to me that I smell fire somewhere--and--and it might be well to sce that it has not broken out in the church or in any of the nearby houses." Before the words were all uttered the congregation was pouring out of the churcn, each family being anxious to make sure that {ts home was not on fire. It need hardly be said that the fire existed only in the pastor's jmag- itation. How Ile Made Money. Conversation overheard on a train for Monte Carlo. Two travelers un- known to each other chatting familiar iy: "On your way to Monte Carlo, sir, that delightful and exclusive home for all gamblers?" "That is exactly where I am going." "And you will play just a little, 1 stippose?" "I do nothing else, sir. ness." "Gracious! You don't mean to say you make a business of ite" "Yes, sir; twice a day I never by any chance lo "In that case perhaps you will ex: plain your 'system' to me." "Certainly, with pleasure. I play the violin." It is my busi nlarly, and Why He Changed fis Mind. "I tell you, sir, civil service is a great thing. The ished. "Coming from any one but you. that remark would not greatly surprise me," be sald. "You didn't think so when I lust saw you." "No, I didn't." "You considered civil service little short of a civic curse." "That's right. Rut then I was on the outside and trying to get in, while now 1 am ou the Inside and trying to stay fn. Jt makes a great difference." man addressed looked aston: An Opportunity. Henry--There's one thing that can be sald of poor Tom. He died without owing a dollar to any one in the world. Dick--And think of the upportunities he must have had! It sbould be a warning to everybody still alive. You haven't got a couple of dollars about you that you can let me bave uutil I see you again? An Extremist. "Is Mr, Fusse much afraid of ml crobes?" "Well 1 should say. He washes the antiseptic gauze gloves he wears in an antiseptic fluid befere he even handles the sterilized glass that contains the boiled and filtered mineral water he in- tends to drink!" Obedience to the Letter. Policeman--Come along now quietly or it will be worse for you. 0'Toole--OFll not. The magistrate told me last time niver to be brought befoor him again, an' begorra Oi'm goin' to obey hls Instructions."--Boys Empire, of the One Way of Judging. | ditch, but be had already got abound as much work out of his boys as were willing to do, especially as it nearing the hour for all moved, anyhow, and so, pretending to bave discovered a nest of snakes In the ditch, began stoning the place where the snakes were alleged to be. The boys, who a few minutes before were weary and listless, were now all life and animation. Each threw stores as fast as he could grab them, and the pile was soon in the ditch. There are two morals to this story--first, when you set about killing a snake throwing stones is a gladsome occupation: seu- ond, In selecting a father be careful not to choose a liar. et A Difference. An American girl, pretty and bright, had been spending some time in Leam- ington, England. The afternoon before her departure she suddenly remembered that several books from the public library should be returned. She took the volumes, sallied forth and presently encountered a young Englishman whose acquaint- ance, though brief, had not been with out attraction. "Really, now, how queer you Ameri can girls are!" he sald. "Now, I sup- pose if you were at home, walking on Fifth avenue, you would never be seen with a fellow lugging aH these books." "Certainly mot," she quickly und archly answered. "If I were in Amer. fca, the gentleman would be carrying them." hey An Autograph Request. Embassadors receive many queer re- quests in the course of their official duties. Here is one that was sent to Mr. White by a western woman, whe inclosed pieces of linen, when he wus minister to Germany many years ago: "We are going to gite a fair in our church, and 1 am making an autograph quilt. 1 want you to get me the auto- graphs of the emperor and empress, the crown prince and Bismarck, and tell them to be very careful not to write too near the edge of the squares, seam has to be allowed for pu them together." -------------- An Awful Jolt. 1 Miss Cutting--I think you will be- come quite a distinguished man if yor live long enough. Softleigh--Thanks awfully, doncher = know. By the way, what do you--aw --think 1 will be distinguished fob? Miss Cutting -- Longevity. 4 $i ---------------------- a Calling the Roll 2 "Was It an entertaining affair?" "Very. First a man got up and sang "Are There Any More at Home Like You? and then a lady arose end cited 'We Are Seven.' " ge A ladybird can travel 20,000,000.0 tines is own length fn an hour. I that time a moth can ouly travel 8 times \ts own length.