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| Gaught By the Ex-Chief Secretary ¥ For Ireland. The Old Country papers to hand by 'fhe latest malls contain many humor 'ous incidents, which served to modify fhe political heat with which the great battie was fought. Herewith are a few of them: ~ * While Mr. Walter Long was refer- wing, in' a speech at Bristol, to German bread, a member of the audience pro- " @uced a piece and tossed it to the plats form, where the ex-Chlef Secretary for ¥reland effected a neat catch "If T had a gun 1 would shoot you; ¥ou are a traitor to Ireland, and a dis- grace to the King's unif rm," howled en enraged Irishman ai a meeting at Woolwich, addressed by Major Adams, the Unionist candidate, who is an Irish- man. At one of Mr. Liovd-George's meat. #ngs In Carnarvon Boroughs, according fo the Liverpool Post, a heckler, with the view of disparaging the origin of the President of the Board of Trade, &sked him if he remembered that his grandfather drove » donkey and cart. "You will have to forgive me, ladies and gentlem " was the iy NH "the cert has quite HA 1 ihe a ul aver Sn erselatire had a peer for its ra- turning officer, as the High Sheriff, Sir W. H. Wills, recently become Lord Winterstroke A population greater than that of many Irish towns dwells within the walls of the South Dublin Workhouse. At a meeting of the guardians a mem- ber, calling attention to the fect, sug- gested that the number of the inmates was now large enough to entitle them to send a representative to the House of Commons It has been claimed that Sir Charles Dilke's election ac ess was the shor This, est issued within recent years however, is not the ca remembered that Sir Elllo in uth Africa in 1900, electors on these words--"My Pretoria." At a Tariff Reform in East Anglia the candidate wa ked by a burly smith's striker: "I swing a sledgehammer six days a week for 17 Do you call that a r wage? "N answered the candidate "Wi your pol icy give me a better wage?' "Yes; was the reply n youll have to get rid of that little devil in the chair, 'cos he's the man as pays me!" Mr. Herbert Whiteley al candi- date for Ashton-under was ad- dressing a meeting of miners at pit's mouth, when one of the men ex- claimed, "It's all very fine for you to gpealk at the pit's mouth, but you dare not go below!" Mr. Whiteley at once epted the challenge, and in a few minutes was in the workings, Lord Edmund Talbot, Unionist can ditdate for Chichester, who was confin ed to bed by illness, spoke his political convicti gramophone. Lady Edmund tour of the cc 2 the precious the various meet- ings. One Lancashire candidate was paid a rather mixed compliment. He was pay- ing a second visit to the house of a doubtful voter. He scarcely expected | to win him over, and consequently he was very pleased, though s ewhat surprised, on hearing from elector that he would support him Glad ) hear it," said t sandidate. "I thought You were against me "Shure, I was at first," sald the free and independent voter. "Whin the ther day ye called here. and stood by that pig-Stye a talked for half an hour, ye didn't budge me an inch; but after ye had gone away, sir, 1 got to thinking how ye'd reached your hand over the rail and scratched 'the pig's back till he lay down wid pleasure of it. I made up my mind thin that whin a man was 50 so ciable as that wid a poor fellowcrathur I wasn't the bhoy to vote agin him." Two canvassers In Liverpool have had an amazing, if somewhat g mn, ex perience. "Calling at a house r route, they inquired if they could see Mr. Brown, the good mistress of the household answering, "Yes; come in" On entering the house she struck a light, remarking, "Follow mae, please" and started to mount the stairs. At the bedroom door she stopped and sald, "There he 18." Imagine the amazement and disappointment of the canvassers when they found that the man they had come to canvass was dead The canvassers had been mistaken for the undertaker and his assistant Mr. Foote, the candidate for North Bristol, neatly countered a heckler who exclaimed, "You haven't a leg to stand on!" with the answer. "Anyway, I've got a Foote!" A Liverpool canvasser had the curl- ous experience of discovering two householders, residing side by side, of the names of Whiting ¥nd Haddock But his mirth was scarcely concealed when he was informed, in reply request for a short interview, that "Mr. Haddock was at sea." A question was submitted to Mr | to the to his | | all Helme at Lancaster which had been | sent to the meeting by express post-- the postage being prepaid--and marked | "Urgent!" There was no name, and it was suggested that Mr. Bottomley, the on agent, was the auth- event?" The vast audience 'with surprise, and the laugh- tumultuous. Mrs. Helme spoke husband, evidently suggesting BHSwer. "No," replied Mr. Helme, 1 am afrald it will interfere 0 many washing days." (t 'Sunderland an enthusiastic Free r announced that "Mr. Chamber- tose i. subset for Bro, be seat Bo the infirmary, "I@xt MAY the fatnér Voted in The ough election, rier far. Pelle, Jr, was presiaing. off tin Some wrusual methods were employ-, ed in Sunderland. The "Glory of the rrey mission was used to howl down Mr, Hagglé (Union- ist). At one 6f Prof. Stuart's meetings, some person' turned the gas off at the meter, and a panic was narrowly averted. Sir H. Campbell-Bannerman's vote at Cambridge University was rejected, as he had not complied with the instruc- tions for filing up the papers as is re- Ie quired in the proxy votes. [mpoveristed Sol Impoverished boil, like impov= erished blood, needs a proper fertilizer. A chemist by analyz- ing the soil can tell you what fertilizer to use for different products. If your blood is impoverished ur doctor will tell you what A flowery orator, contesting a county you need to fertilize it and give in which his familly possessed heredi- tary acres, implored support on the ground that he had been "personally are lacking in it. connected with the district for more than six centuries." "Enthusiasm 1s getting very hot when some people are actually on fire," said the chairman of an enthusiastic meeting In support of the Hon Guest at Cardiff, when is was discover ed that smoke was Issuing from the Ivor it the rich, red corpuscles that It may be you need a tonic, but more likely you | need a concentrated fat food, and fat is the element lacking in your system. There is no fat food that is | coal-tail pocket of the candidate on the go easily digested and assimi- [luted as platform. "Are you in favor of the Wife's Sister BYil?"" Sir The gler was asked at Gateshes | Theodore waved hix hand to rs his wife, and his sister who were on the | platform, and a beatific smile flitted across his face as he replied, "Certain- iy." An- Sir dare At one of Mr. Henry Norman's meet- ings in South Wolverhampton he accompanied by hls son, not yet nine years of age. In a clear volce the boy tald an audi CI 'mn has heen such a good father to me, he would make a very good member of Parliament for you." An amusing conversation WAS overs heard In a remote district of the North Wilts constituenc Two agricultural laborers were en d in a political discussio and asked the other what the fiscal question was. "Oh came the anation, "they be goin' to tax f r passive resisters be va na Hay's motors took the Shoreditch I vas carried into the "r back," and wa t siding officer while he-recorded his vote Wher man Doyle was ad Sir A. ( t in Galashiels he was dle of his argu rose in the body of pan loaf on the stick, and cried and cheers, "Answer 1 the Dorset division "I am pleased to see s e men who have laid oir lives for their country g at Peterborough pal speakers said 18 dragging this Home Rule red herring across our path, but it misses fire every time!" Canvassing a artisan district of Sunderland, a lady, after chattering with housewife, turned her to the three little ones. "What pleasantly attention was | 'thousand people Deceased | t Broadmoor 'Scott's Emulsion of Cod Liver oil It will nourish and strengthen | the body when milk and cream fail to do it. Scott's Emulsion is always the same; always any cause, either in children or adults. We will send you a sample free. De sure that this fo- ture in the form 45 a label is on the wrapper sion you buy. SCOTT & BOWE CHEMISTS Toronto, Ont. and $1.00, All Drugkista, 50 when he was no mad- der very likely much saner -- than thousands of other men who never put heads within an asylum at all of course, capable of and, redressed, it their This dodge is, immense 8 plaved in our penal es- | tablishments Some convicts, having Broadmoor in distant view and the prison infirmary in the immediate fore- ground, will suddenly develop passions for swallowing the most extraordinary trifles, One man will evince a man- facal taste for swallowing small stones, » trick a certain prisoner carried so far that when he was operated on he was found t ontain more than four I is of stones. Another prisoner will sacrifice his nightly comfort by gradually eating up his mattress, | Blankets and clothing are also absorbed in the same manner, but such dodges as 'these generally miscarry and scarcely ever lead to Broadmoor. The more discreet prisoners prefer to qual- iffy for the asylum by less herole sweet littla darlings," she exclaimed kissing each in turn, and then glancing towards a in seated by the kitchen fire, she dded, "And how like their fat) unfortunately for her he he r. She left without the promise of a vote At Tory meeting in the Spalding div the chairman, in re canvassing experiences, sald he called | at a house, an w the voter's wife He inquired as the politics of her husband. "Well," she replied, "when he goes to a Liberal meeting he fs a Lib- eral, and when he goes to a Tory meet ing he Is a Tory" "But" queried the can sser, "what is he when he is at home And the y gave the unex pected reply, "When he is at home he is & nulsance. tchurch, At a Tory meeting at Wh a speaker, annoyed at a cho joinder shouted from the auc claimed, "One fool at a ti boss!" was the response from the opponents "I doubt very much whether in Eng!and ought to have t to live In at the same tim the Duke of Northumberland tc worth audience Rats were let loose in a ha er borough where a Liberal me was being held. Some fainting pe were jed out, several disturbers were bodily over the heads of the audl- ence and expelled from the hall Mr. Samuel Chapman, Unionist can didate for Perth, endured some lively heckling. At one meeting an oid man came forward and, deliberately laying down his coat and stick, handed up several questions. Mr. Chapman replied first, but the old Scotsman, ges- ticulating wildly, exclaimed, "I canna hear, I'm deaf." The heckler an ear trumpet from his pocket ap- plied it to his ear, and the candidate sbouted his replies into the Instrument TO MAKE LIFE EASIER. British Prisoners Prefer Confinement In Lunatic Asylum -- Dodges They Work to Attain Their Ends. Broadmoor is considered the pick of penal establishments in England, and it is a common dodgé among old stagers committed to any of the ordin- ary prisons to essay to convince their jallors that they are insane and ought to be transferred to that criminal Jun- atic asylum The most effective way of doing this is for a prisoner to make himself so : in Broadmoor or anywhere else: where they are not, and the law- abiding world has no conception of the trouble a convict can cause the staff of a prison where he is lodged without actually committing a breach of the prison rules. A once successful dodge this kind --It is rather threadbare néw--was to evince a fear of being poisoned, to re- fuse all food and drink unless tasted by @ warder in the presence of the dodg- er. The prisoner would invent & plaus- ible story of how his friends put him away in order to possess ghemselves of his fabulous fortune and had threat- eped to bribe some one in the prison to convey a deadly poison to his food. He would tell this tale to every one who would listen and doggedly refuse bis food for days together, often, in- deed, until he was rendered so ill as to here he would frantically refuse both and physic unies it were pouied ¢ down his throat or tasted by the doetor. Consequently he would become eb in that the authorities were. ney of pulling | measures In addition to Broadmoor, and much more accessible, there is the infirmary, into which experienced prisoners will contrive to get I thelr enjoy- nent of the most t health. The dodge by which they secure this form of holiday, or relief from the ordinary routine of prison life, is called "fetch ing the farm," the "farm" being the prison name for the Infirmary Mere sham sicknesses are useless for this purpose, and a prisoner has to resort to some more or less heroic measure to secure his holiday. One such dodge is to set up blood-poison- ing by scratching the flesh of an arm or a leg with a surreptitiously obtained rusty nail. A certain prisoner at Pen- tonville did this successfully that it became necessary to have his leg amputated 80 limb | of every bottle of en | | hath killed its tens of thousands? Don't | they know that while old King Alobs | dodge is to make a wound on a and keep it open until it becomes so bad as to "fetch the farm."--Tit-Bits. | T0 ASK THE IMPOSSIBLE Germany's Gams at Algeciras as France Sees It. France, In Offering to Concede Control of Moroccan Police to the Sultan If He Fronch Officers, Has Reached the Limit of Her Conces- eions--Newspapers 8ay This Fore- shadows Further German Demands. Selects Paris, Feb. 20.--The Foreign Office confirms the Algeciras report that France has offered to concede the con trol of the tan if the latter will select French offi- cers. If this is not accepted a crisis will still be possible, as the French of- ficlals' view is that France has reached the limit of her concessions. The newspapers, including the semi- official Temps and other Government organs, discuss the French concessions regretfully, even coldly, maintaining that they foreshadow further German Public sentiment, while continuing calm, is gradually becoming impressed with the belief that Germany is Seek- ing to lmpose impossible terms upon France . Moroccan Warship Active. Malaga, Spain, Feb. 20.--Despatches demands, tending to humiliate France. | | | | { | i | promptly attended to. | Moroccan police to the Sul- | f from Melilla, Morocco, dated Sunday, ' announce that the Moroccan warship, Sidi El Turki, bombarded the factories belonging to the French filibusters at Marchica destroying a portion ot the works. 3 French filibusters against the a ance of Moroccan authority, Investigation Ordered. Washington, Feb. 20--The Inter. state conference commission has or- dered an investigation of the rates and practices of the railroad carriers 'en- gaged in transporting oil from Kansas and Indian territory to interstate des- tinations, the hearing to be held at Kansas City March 12. English Court Dress. The necessary wardrobe for presen- tation at court in London is no small matter. A simple court dress will cost anything from $600 to $750, not includ - ing lace, 'which may be a family heir- loom above price. The The debutante's bou- quet may include $100 worth of sony orchids and hothouse blooms. As to Chamberlain's Cough Remedy ALWAYS CURES | 5 & Assorted Blak A similar but less drastic | at court are much Victoria's day. The % are now called, are } at night, an hour mu to one's costume and 9 the erstwhile aft there are beautiful b a most excellent $ but by no means least, Queen sit on gorgeous end of a huge and in all the glory of n and jewels beyond price. + 8 Pat Laughed An Irishman on n haberdasher's window & ran, "Everything aod yard," entered and asked | the shop if he sold but "Yes," was the answer, "Then give me a yard," "All right," sald the n ping his finger into a Aish his side, he drew it a vara | 1 the counter. "Anything else?" he qu phantly of Pat. 3 "No," sald Pat. "Just row! a piece of paper, and I'll the." --Limerick News. Pitt's Sarcasm, In 1805 Pitt called a n British militla colonels to g additional force bill. Some @ the clause which called der all circumstances ud I ar 'to another clause, when the Jectors insisted on the militia ing liable to be sent out of the Kin dom. "Except, I suppose," sald with cruel sarcasm, *in case of invasion." The Bpare Bed. 1 have been looking ever my | ance policy, and 1 see nothing the Spare Bed. This is unaccoun What do they mean? Don't the ingufs ance men know that though the has killed Its thousands, the Spare hol hath slain his tens of thousands | the old refiable Spare Bed hath laid ou. its hundreds of thousands? . Take the pulpit, for fmstance. hen {fs not a religious denomination Canada but 1s short of preachers. There are any number of young men enters {ng the ministry; but what becomes of them? Ask the Spare Bed. As soon #4 the lady of the house lights a bedroom candle and leads the callow preachet in the direction when the Spare Bed lieth in wait, I see hix finish. Adied poor youth! Thou who are to-nfg pregnant with celestial fire will have 8 cold to-morrow, and then a cough--==-- "It was a cough that carried him eff; It was a coffin they carried him offfm" I would rather sicep with the hired man or bunk along side the kitches stove.--The Kban. -- a HARNESS N returning thanks to the public | patronage extended to me for of ears, [would respectinlly intinial ready for busi have a m, as usbal, now DOUBLE AND SINGLE HA oh I am determined to sell very CHE yi an inducement "1 y purchaser 1 Dowmuad of 10 por il will ba allowed on all Sales from for: Jan. 1st next. All work bei gar MADE BY HANL and ne factory work kept in steel super arity of my goods will at cnee appa ent. Tatending purchasers will find that 1 giving ne a cull before looking elas the yean he suited in quality and my long experience in the trade heing 5 putavle guarantee that ernest given by any cleph will be Rverthing in my onstantly on hand and repairs ol Eg = = - JOHN ROI PH.. Dec, 1, 1862. H GRAHAM Has just taken possession FOY SHOE SHOP = one door South of (he St. Ch Hotel, where he intends to m; kinds of Boots and Shoes, an o all kinds of repairing strictly attended to please all who come possible. Port Perry, June 10, 1903. Port Perry Lo, his wi INNIS = ral CICK "IN FULL BLAST fim un tr} lake great pleasure i in anne fiatmy New Mills ave now completed and in full oper- ation and that I am better than ever prepared to meet the requirements of my friemds and the general public in every line periaining to my already extensive and rapidly increasing busi- ness. Corvect business principles, prompitude and courteous treatment may be relied on, JAMES CARNEGIE Port Perry, Dec., 1902. La oR NII HH SN RRR CRIBERRIEIOORR The nnders gned won d take this opportunity of thanking his nu- merous customers for the liber . patron Store Willard Block Queen Street cannot fail to please cnstomers. he can give better satisfaction than heretofore, and in erde premises. wa GAME AND FISH IN SEASON. I. J. WHEELER. 7 / ZN / RK =K 3 Sree e received wince opening bukiness in Port Perry, and would inforin the public that he has moved his business from ie Market building to the te ae-ify this state he solicits ull to give kim a call in his new Papering, Paper and ay. furnished i required W. F. NOTT, (Stccessot to J. A. Rodman.) | i | T | Asis Procrastinatio ils also the robber that steals from many a busi- ness man the opportunity to become wealthy... . ... IT IS"NT A BIT Blography, Th , i ani nian S THETHIEFOF TIMES Central Livery PORT P:RRY. J RARTILY thanking the pubdic for the liberal patronage received during the many years | have kept a Livery Fatablish ment in Port Perry, Thave much pleasure in announcing that I have removed where he will be pleased to fill all crders for Meats in 8 manner that MY LIV E R Y ! Having new and increased | frcilities for the transaction of husiness he feels confident that to ny former place of business "Water Street which Tam about to largely extend in crouse facilities so that the public way be better accommodated with safe and desir- able RIGS AT MODERATE CHARGES R. VANSICKLER., Part Peony, June 21, 1900, Loca ed in our New Premises 0.T.CawkeraSon| Wh H TO ANNOUNCE that hat they are now comfort. ably eusconsed in their new pre mises in the Purdy Block where the Public will always find an ample supply of "7 |GHOICE, FRESH MEATS «t prices that cannot fail to please. A full supply of Meats of the very best grades, and cut in dimensions to please the most fastidious. All orders will receive prompt ittention. S. T. CAWKER & SON larch s 102. Sealed Tenders EALED TE TENDERS will be \) received by the undersigned for the purchase of all or any of the Parcels-- Farm Properties. --belong ng to Mr. John Adams, advertised o be sold by auction on the 23r¢ November, and withdrawn at the sale. J. A. McGILLIVRAY, Temple Building, Toronto. Nov. - 39, 1590: 80 YEARS' EXPERIENCE Noy ae bg po free kd Tan Ti SEER ST nt free. Su trout doh ety a he Sak without, oh Scientific American, Seely. jest it. y Agricultural Mache -- AN I am pared do all kinds of z doors north of Mr. Widden's store |' Going - Going North-- 5.13 Pp. rn Gehig South--10 p.m. oF [rd TRY Railway. TIME TABLE. 2 Port Px. GOING $OUTH. GOING NORTH, m. 9-51 COUNTY OF ONTARIO. 1906. L WHITBY Clerk) BO. Macdonall, Whithy yng: 0 February , Nich as: Nay Tome it 3 Jopieri bet 6 Oosober Neveu Deo- OSHAWA Clerk D0. Mactnugil Whit I a onal Wilt hy_dang: July 4 es, October ember , Jan. 10, 197. 2. FROUGHAM- Oler] "ad reenwond --Jant « ary ly March 6, ay, i om 3 etn. 10, Kuw, ember 7, Jin H, 3 PORT TERRY. Clerk, 1 W. Hurnhaum, For ton Perry 7 ~Jqnnury 13, March 8, May 8. July 11, November 9, Jar, Todd. 4. UXBRIDGE (Clerk, Jon Uxbridge January 12, March 16, Ma Hh 9 wl; Heptew 30. Novimber 5, Jan. £0,107 © wy, bo 5 CANNINOTON Clerk, Gen. Sraich January 11, March 15, Jats u. Jul; 30, Noveintber 12, Jan. 13, 1 6. BE. A RTO Tks Qe. F. Bw eo, rch 14, May 14, Jal Fy Novgmber bh Jur 18, act. ji LE UPTERGHROV FE - Clerk, Thos. P. Aart, Uptergrove fri ih 13, May 15, July 17, Tip iiuliil 18, Nov. Comaington-- 5 19, Beptem By otier, J. E. FAREWFLL, Clerk of the Peace. Dated at Whithy, Nov. 14th, 1905. " ea General Blacksmithing The andersiqned 8 having opened business in the Shep lotlay eeougid by Me, E, Ball Just west of Drs. Archer & Archer's Office, 1s prepared to do all kinds of of General Blacksmithing at Reas- onable Charges. HORSE-SHOEING A Specialty and Satisfaction Guaranteed, Patronage Solicited. SW. SWITZER. Port Perr, Sept. 16, gon, PAINTING Kalsomining, &c FPVBE undersigned would take this oppor tunity of thanking his wvunitrons pat- rons for their liberal and still inercaring patrouage during the time he bas carried on the busiuees of PAINTING in Port Perry, and would state that he better prepared than ever to execute a orders for Painting, Kalsomining and Paper Hanging Parties entrnsting their work to me may rely or Bering it neatly and promptly exe- cuted, My charges are moderate. | am also prepared to supply Paints, &e,, when contracting. A continusnce of public pationege sol ited. WM. TREMKER, Port Perry, Mar. 23, 1693. JOHN NOTT, UNDERTAKER, and Funeral Director, PORT PERRY. Our fee returncd if we fail. An: one sending sketch Ard description of any i Invention wri he ni of "same. * How to Obtais fr A request, scoured us for special Emin by Mars sens FREE. VICTOR J. EVANS & CO. (Patent Attorneys,) Evans Bulidiag, WASHINGTON, D. C.