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TT » 10 bidmii iid, " Ann ECR y -- -- -~ 1 . Tor WO. X, "No. Ag PRIN CE ALBE RT. "COUN TY OF ON TARIO, C. Wit THURSDAY. 'JAN. 31, 1867. [WHOLE No. 427 ToT -- mm -- rm ---- i ie fukin Bbsecter, | H. Burnham; | MACKI ES HOTEL, THE LIVERPOOL & LONDON & GLOBE it LS FORTUNE TELLING, " Turunent Barants. --A fine looking man i be CLERK THIRD DIVISION COURT, (ATE BRaDIE*s,) Insurance ¢e_Company, | 1 an mar. Quek str eivilnges J : $14 noble physiute, sud lad vu. overesuia ia "CN weEkLY (Office lover Mr. Bigelow's Store, Walton Street, Port Hop rm ne of our exchanges is responsible lor | sioves, and siout boots, was walking out . LITIOAL, ABRIGTLTURAL, PORT PERRY. C.W ; el, x HOPE. yNnvEsSTED FUNDS, 15,000,000 {: STA Gry INANE Ey oF nts Wars | ie following story relative to his Popular the "other day wilh his little three year . i WALSH Wn. MACKIE, Proprietor. |INVESTED IN CANADA, ......8%80,000 | Temper. -- Monday-- A thick fog ; no see- and pernicious vice :-- old daughter--a pale~faced child; With 4 : . x Not many evenings since it is recorded | bare neck and d ali #1 A } ORSE F. Lis al fi ing through it. Tuesday--Gloomy and b ) 5 re neck and arme, and slippers: Fauiny nwara PER, 15! open ha fy im MONEY _To LOAN. Five Depavtwent. ray ROI gy Sout sionet wks its ensapui Jusgink for, | neighbor, meetiug them began 10 ak, with 2 eis wel acy nted w! mode of n x esday--Frosty, at ti years, n Y | great app J n, after the father's WAOTORIA BLOCK, PRINCE AupER', | pricking und trimming and can treat sncpiss- ATL ny R, RATRS OF © INTEREST: INSURANCES ses adioly bee Besdaye iw 4 tai a raiey 'with se¥erat fades." The subject of fortune | health, adding : + But I'm glad your little *"G0UNTY OF ONTARIO, pnb Blu ali Ly (RS MESSIEURS COCHRANE & COCHRANE, fl Youd : : telling was introduced. Several of the one dogs not inliesit your feeble. couatitn- FARM RISKS ar Seecrariy Reoutmp |fY108 clouds," portending hard weather. ' J i 3 iy EVERY THURSD AY MORNING 3 D. o thi h Prifice Albert Raves, Friday Storm iu the moruing, with poals 'angels' pleaded guilty 10 the soft impeach-{ jon." « Feeble constitution I' exclaimed the | 3D. Cottingham, |g roy or A A Ce TH he H] * --Gleams of 'sunshine, with a patil thaw, i 8.4ay in my lie; while, as lo my dunghter, 'BAIRD yh PARSONS, SEER DENTIST, FER (RRIVATE .FUNDs,) iLite Department, frost again at ght, Suntan slight mn their future history, Instances were | we fear she has her mother's consumptive To loan on good Farms, at 8 f No EXTRA Charge for MILITARY 8. th- hs mentioned of some very remarkable de- | tendencies." ¢Inde d! replied his friend oy ' ly per cent interest. in defence of the COUNTRY. south-wester m the morning ; calm und | : : I bo » : I Lf v Tews 80 per or rant? 10 paid within six BOREILI A, C.'W. LYMAN. ENGLISH, pleasant at dinver-lime ; hurricane. and velopements in a certain case hereabouts. | with a sly twinkle of the eye, ¢you take 2.00. No su on for less (hah six m ; and no puper ns antilaliaprers are Joi, = ng mone when addr J Ris reir and sgerel, will pe. og ly RATES OF ADVERTISING. ¥or each line, first dnsertion - - - $0.08 Subsequent: insertions, perline - - - 0.02 Cards, under 6 lines, il annum 5.00 pareil and charged 'dsaraing to the space they EE received for publicati ul spe~ «<ifi8 | ifistructions, will be inserted until orb, and will be taken p- i for. AER 10 Merchants and others hos the yeur or half-year. AA the object of which isto promote he «peatary bench of any individual or company, 10 be lgred an advertisement, aud charged accord- usi he terms will, in all cases, be :rietly ad- sandy i reasing importance of the North : ofthe Of Ever advoeating right, and condemning boty ih ill pried take the lead in forwarding, Li ierents of the een and in the amonni Ee news giver ibe Fitba by Published in © { win JOB EEARTHENT, mphiats, Hnnd * Bills, Posters, Programmes, Bill Hine, Rocel Books, Chieck Books, isuts ards, Ball Cards, &c , jc., of gery le and color, executed promptly, and at lower a any other esiablishment in ihis count: from a distance [5 ting hand bills, &e. {printed hare thom done (0 take home with them. By a New Process, Teeth ean be Ex- tracted without pain, at his office, J.D. yds is , prepared to, areal all Sherntions dispatch. Can and examine his specimens. Single leeth inserted--parts of sets, or whole sets--Cheap, and warranted. UNDERSTAND. --Attention to the Teeth preserves the health. Without teeth in good order it is' impossible to masticate food for the body, sug consequently there cannot be good Ifyou have decayed teeth, get them filled. If you have any out get them replaced by new ones. Prices low, and all work warranted. If the work is not satisfactorily done, the money will be refunded. Office hours from 8 a. m. to 5 p.m. Borelia, Jan. 15, 1867, English Pink Dental Rubber; New and beautiful Vulcanite Base for Arti- tificial Teeth ! C.D WAID, SURGEON-DENTIST, Jain=sSt,, Brvrivae. ALL Dental operations performed with the utmost skill and care,warranted to give sat- 2-1y J. BAIRD, | 1. PARsoNs, | isfaction or no charge, and at prices which defy oF ¢ competition. Lg HR So 8, Por 0] v, urns, it Business DIvectorn, | Soa Boud ka ats Bolster AB Oebridye DR. JONES, D. M. CARD, "(CORONER for the County of Ontario, | T JCENSED AUOTIONEER, Collector of Prince Albert. | Piet Commission, whether in or out of the County. Remittances made Recording to oh DR. WARE, instructions. Sales a attended I ORONER far the County of Quai, SEE Deve Barter Jesh. mutige.~-- Yu Zuyuisin, 3 8 ond A 'at the OnstuvEn Office. all lotters ¥. H. BRATHWAITE, M.D,CM, G RADUATE 'of the University of McGill XX College, Montreal, Physician Surgeon and Adcouchenr,; Prince Albert. Office and Resi- aeuce--the i rk by Dr, Agnew. -.., Drs. McGILL & RAE, P Banton Surgeons, &e., &e. Office and King street, Osh: awa. FRANCIS RAK, M. B, Wi. M'GILL, M.D. JOHN BIL as, Bite Attorney at Law, Solicitor in Chancery, Notary Public, Conveyancer, {Hines Albert. Office over T. O. Formun's COCHRANE & COCHRANE, ARRISTER>, Auorneys, &c. Prince Albert office--opposi te the Town Hall; Perry offic:--over Mr. Bigelow's Store. , properly TE the Uxbridge Post Office, will receive the pid attention, Dyokels, &t. ig REVERE HOUSE," v Haw CHESTER. ! B, LANE PROPRIETOR. Hm ctoibed the above hotel, and has furnished the Bar with the choicest liquors and cigars. Every Yi ution prid, to guests.-- Stages to and from Whitby call daily, Careful ostlers always in dttendance. COTTAGE HOTEL, GREENBANK. YHE subscriber wishes to inform the traveling public that he 'has taken ' the shove hotel, . which he has fitted and furnished 'and where the best accommodation, OR. 'NORMAN Sh ATERSON, s (Late of Miller i. Toronto ) . wl ae eT Sia Chops} BAER oA ancer, Office: y PE) oF Ww Bonn flson, Simcoe-st. x +P, A, HU. 'TTORNEY at Law, Solwitor: in Chan- Sery? Conveygneer, Notary Rublic, &eo., y Gu Wo 1, : " "FAREWELL & MoGEE, BA irc rl Attorneys, Solicitors and Baldi dom Pub) He Ds in the Post Office Oshawa. os a Sa LB. W'GEE, B. A. : ERON pr MACDONELL, IRISTERS and Attorneys at Law, Bitors Oounty Council Ontario. Offices: | H. J. MACDONELL. oil SARE F. McPHERSON, Li BASsTER, iy 2 omay-at) aw, Solici . Peon. 0 street, 3 doors hind of the July 4, 1866.41 3 oad RARE] ay ; ST Law, i ri JR LYM SN 38 "in * hire A Anatnay, ,&e, I Oshawa." 0 apposite the post office. ' Lalo ti: ON VARS, TICAL 'Dentist, Oshawa, C. W. ireetly o) te th t ortranes Simeoe Sirol; oppo door re LISH, L: L B,, " Ronoh,. Convey-|: of etl : Court. of with careful attention, can always be found.-- Good stabling, enclosed yards, and attentive Oates. sao eraRe AcMURTA 2 = a 2 Propel. 5s crea SEiy 13,1866. oly Jewett's Hotel, KENT STREET, LINDSAY. Good stable and shed attached, and anattentive ostler always in attendance. Free Omnibus to and from the Cars and Boats. Saintfield Hotel. Te hotise being aw, ow, Coifiliodions; and well ished : throughout, the public favoring him with thelr custom may de] every conve gute ye Revcsss to their comfort ne tended to. Stabling, id attentive Ostlers D. DG AMPEELL, Proprietor. DAFOE HOUSE, UTICA A ND modataty, Carell sfieie piled. 'men! ers and gi . to The bars: 'with the best wine, d cigars | Fors stabling, % liguosgan ; JE DAFOE, Proprietor. THE 'ROBSON HOUSE! LATE SCRIPTURE' s HOTEL, UNDAS STREET vam ¢ Puan ropsoN, - prorRiEror." ie E Subscriber eased the for beso bth nthe Bp ture' i Hotel, phe renovated ol EE 1 cof at: he Fotslyand ti Beaverton rie Re {ine ersalways in attendante. il {.GEO. ROBSON ' nd on finding '| always in attends i E1 MAJOR, a AoTIONEER 1 for the Buty rio, Terms made known, wad days ce. v at the 8108 eh vie H. WALSHE. poe Avctioneer for the Towh-| of B "Tho! Mi & Rama in LE go ie bs i coll reliance ¥ Can-~ i. oe remittances he North On- Remember-- Hit trio Auctioneer, REVERE HOUSL BEAVERTON, GC, ik E Suh becriber ba Ly toe nied Liv fiited Lu 3 {one but all bout Li ji and ciga dar ad aud His i bie wi will be fu a bedi . Care- ful'and ao ina . igieg i Took Proprigien, Beaverton, J uly 21, 1864. COMMERCIAL, MOTEL BROCK 8 gL uo ' TE unders a yay ilioiinod. thai, Tie Eu Hoel 2 yell $1. Fuowp pros a hd ss Ww HE ped fies Li ing, w ih a reful can always be fou £5 Good bing and atten- tive Ostlers. arges ii 'moderate. 28-1y JOHN MILLER. 8 Myre; Aden Gordo eq. bifid ap- ; id athens, who New } niges Drentutiro Dees oN) il 1 Ea he oh Je Ton bn FE im cua. ; dhe mre TLS con rable aumeken iF The pb dene ne coiable etter, will receive a copy fiee etaom ing Barrister, &c., November 21, 1866. Uaava; Money to Lend IN SUMS OF $8300 and Upwards, Ata low rate of Tor FAREWELL & McGEE, Solicitors, ge. (© Oshawa, Nov. 14, 1866. 45-2m' HALF A MILLION Money to Lend. HE undersigned has completed arrange- ments, whereby Le is prepared to lend $500,000 of Private Funds, on good mortgage sfearity, ata low rate of inferest. . The borrow- er can have Lis own time to pay the principal, Tam also Agent for two of the largest mone- tary institdtions in Canada, that x Fri from 3 to 10 years, at six per' cont interest. 'INo Commission Charged. Silver and Greenbacks bought and sold. Apply personally to JAMES HOLDEN, OFFICIAL ASSIGNEE, Notary PusLic, . Land Insurance, General Agent, §c., §c. Orrice--MeMillan's Block, Brock Street. Whitby, Oct. 3, 1866. Life Policies for the benefit of Wifeor Children are Secure from Seizure by Creditors. Policy for $1000, by the Guaranteed Bonus System costs at age 30, $24.70 a year. Should it become payable after 5 ears, one- fourth of the Preminms are return wiTH the sum assured ; if after 20 ye: one-half are ro- turned ; after 30 years, three-fourths ; after 51, the sum assured is doubled, and the heirs may claim $2,000. xg Claims payableone month after proot of enh, Oe SMITH, Resident Secretary, MONTREAL. M. G. ROBSON, 2 Agent, Prince Albert. Murriase Licenses, (BY AUTHORITY.) Ph at Port Perry. Houss. Office at the Scveoe HENRY CHARLES. Jan. 23, 1867. 3- Farm Stock For Sale ARTIES in want of excellent Farm Stock are requested to inspect the Stock of the Subscriber, on Lot No. 18, in thé 14th Concession. of 'the Jousiip of Reach, hag some first class Stock which he is prepared to part with at moderate Drives; viz : 8 Ewes--hy impo) MONEY TO LOAN I! $100,000. NE HUNDRED 14 THQUSAND dollars |, to Loanon Mortgage security, in sun. to suit borrowers, al a very. moderale rate ol interest. Apply at Warehouse, to the far-famed Manchester JOHN HODGSON. indi mitted to 1, N. Gulls, | Ei JECT Cameron, Fag NOB: Worrell, M. A... Incam ent. Den Esq, Whilhy; Rev. LB Cadwell, Proprietor of the Man t McKindly. Fsq. Borel ry ; Joseph rh Mantle; Jonathan ul on Ripgnescusk Pb Osha 52 wa; \Win La te r t Yateliutine Rab ron or] son, kh iq LOuk e Binbazon, Fiqu Malcolm Gilles x 2 Wicl Tricky Col. Vroom, Hem ies WESTERN ASSURANCE COMPY INCORPORATED, -.. «1851. '" T8400; 000. GRO. MICHIF, Fxg HON. J. McMURRICH SECTY ANDTREAS... RNARD HALDAN, Esq JAMES PRINGLE, Travelling Agent, County of 'Omario THE COMMERCIAL UNION Assurance Sompany 19& 20-Connars, LONDON, : AND a 385 & 887 Sr. Pat 8r., MONTRBAL, CAPITAL 42,600,000 OR $19,500,000. Jui DOonipany affords Barbet secutity to the wired, and offers the advantages of a mu- tual office, with freedom from all liability. JOHN H. BROWN, Agent, Manchester, Capital VaRSIDENT.... PicE-PRESIDENT, ily T-1y BARBER & Architects, Railroad, Building ho Ta Buveyos, VALUATORS, &C., &C., RE pia io fii Data Doi A cations, Bibi) lic buildings, private residences of Svasy de on..or in any style {f architecture, dango all kinds of # es, tombstones, patent rights, mills ai inery, can be had on the shortest possible nchester, E, a In haste Easton sure (HER gma tl 51 #.bhud COWIE PYRE. © 5: | ashes Ang. 0, 1866. and 3 on! Livery Ss MATKENZIE, Frog a bh les. Gaia ind EE | ME CONFESHIONS, AND EXPERIENCE OF Published for the heisehit = ig a Cavrionivy Y ioNG otk TORONTO, Gi Plans Details and n Lamb by Mri James Graham Pome Ram. 2 Mares gol dem by * Sebi Chief." 1 ho supierior LA Dent ing 4 years old and 2 Milch Cows. A FIKST RATE TAVERN STAND Situated on the main road betweea Uxbridge and Brock, 4 miles North of 'the Village or Uxbridge. A capital opening. Immediate pos- session and Title guaranteed. JOUN BLYTH. Reach, Jan. 22d, 1867. BR. THOMAS, SADDI.E AND . Harness Maker, Thomas' New Building, South of Gibbs' Block, Simcoe Street, OSHAWA, HE attention of farmers and others is in- vited to his stock of heavy and light har- ness, all of which is new_and of superior make, Also there will be found a cho ce selection of whips, general saadley' trunks, portmanteaus, fe - Everything in the trade made tor order on he shortest notice, Repairing done neatly and ig RR. THOMAS. oN Ha STRAY ATR on, into the Prenises of the subscriber, Lot No. 12, in the 4th concession of Reach, some time in October last A REDDISH STEER SPRING CALF. If not replevined within 4 months from date it will be sold to defray expenses. HENRY LYLE. Reach, Jan. 23d, 1867. i Insolvent Act of 1864, AND AMENDMENTS THERETO. In the matter of Andrew Cowan, of the Township of Uxbridge, in the County of Ontario, formerly carrying on business as a Merchant, an Insolvent. -- pe Creditors of the Tnsolvent arc notified has made an SasgAment of his estate ct, tome, the un- uired to fapyials sme cif within two months, Frontia ate, Told, i Cla oy ald ud ihe" Slur of it, py ty til le attested staf tii the het under oath, with hori oe hill such claims. : Uxbridge, 22nd Jot, 4 . 1867, iit T. JOHNSTON, signee. . 23,1867, Oshawa, Jon. 23,1860, veo cai (-) HEALS Celebrated Itch Ointment ! | PIE ut TER IImAY ps constantly a la uan- "tity or iis ti Celie Itch Saree A cehre warranted. Price 25 cents a box. si 173i HEAL: Prince Albert, Deg. 0.1866," |] a48:ly a+ Brook lin Drug 'Store. | sili "JOHN DAWES, EALER in 'Drags, Patent Medicines Paints, Oils, Dye-Staffs, Groceries, &c Best Wines and Liquors for medicinal Horerland Cattle Medicines rity on hand. earthquake at night. Hartley Coleridge once being asked which of Wordsworth's productions he considered the prettiest, very promptly replied :--¢ His davghter Dora.' " Come till Queensland, Pat I> writes a son of the Emerald Isle to his friend in Ire- land. «Tiga fine country to get a living in. All ye have to do is to get a three-cor- nered box an' fill it wid brick, an' carry it till the top iv a foor sthory bildin' an' the man at the top doos all the work !" Brimstone. -- A Bible class were asked to name the precious stones named in the Bible. After several scholars had given answers, one little fellow was called om : ¢ Well, Thomas, what precious stones have you found?' «Brimstone, answered the boy.' Itianocedless to ray that a num ser of handkerchiefs were called into requisition to choke down the 'depraved human nature' that seemed desirous of manifest- ing itself in laughter. A low, whisky-drinking fellow was brought before a magistrate named Porter, charged with being dronk and disorderly. The magistrate commited the delinquent to prison for a month, telling him he would give him time to. Gurse whisky. Yes, faith,' was tho reply, and Patter 100." A gowd lady, who had two children sick will mease!s, wrote to a friend for the best remedy. The friend had just received a note from another lady, inquiing the way lo make pickles. In the confusion, 3-tf, | the Jady who inquired about the pickles, received the'x edy for the measels, and the anxious 'mother of the sick children with. horror read the following :--¢ Scald them three or four limes in very hot vinegar and sprinkle them with salt, and in a very few days they will be cured." A horticulturist advertised that he would supply all sorts of fruit trees and plants, especially pie-plants of all kinds. A gen- tleman thereupon sent him an order for one package of custard-pie seed, and a dozen mince-pie plants. The gentleman promp!- ly filled the order by eending him four goose eggsand a small dog. Deacriptive-- She was all sorts of a gal -- there war'nt a sprink lin' too much of her : eye that would make 2 fallow's out GF Hid bosom © Mart ash wae as light as a panther,=and?. hee breath was gs sweet as a praitie flower. Learned professors have occassionally been outwitted by the sayings of the simple. Dr. Hill, an Edinburgh professor of the last century, met in the suburbs of the ety an offensive creature who was generally re- garded as an imbecile, Somewhat irritated by the intrusion on the privacy of his walks, the professor said to him : ¢ How long, Tom. may one (live without braine ?' ¢I. dinna ken,' said Tom ; «How long hae ye lived yersel 72 Wé saw Jake nailing up a box the other day containing some articles which he in- tended serding by express. Fiom the nature of the contents it was essential that the ox should not be inverted on the ge. So we } the suggestion to Jake to place the much abuséd this side | up' &o., conspiciously upon the cover. A few days after we saw Jake. ¢Heard from your goods Jake? Did they get there safe- ly 2° « Every one was broke I" replied Jake sullenly.. « Lost the hull lot! Hang the "Express Company!" «Did you put on this side np,' us we told you 2' ¢ Yes, I did; an, for fear they should -not see it on the bottom tew--donfound 'ém." Avice To Lapy SkaTers.--Hure are a few simple directions fur lady skaters :-- 1. If you wear tiltera on the ice, be sure that you are properly adjusted. The spec- tators along the bank are generally supposed 10 be critical. 2. Seream prettily i in. passing an-air hole, and give Tom's arm a frantic rqueeze. It ional Old R---------- was asked for his opinion. He replied: ¢So far as 1 am personally concerned, I know more about myself than I wish to. 1 don't think any good comes of those things. I hdd a friend who dressed himself in lady's clothes and called upon a celebrated prophetess. He did not believe she would discover the disguise, but he heard what made him exceedingly unhap- py.' Here the old veprobate ceased. A lady much interested asked, ¢ What did she tell him 2° 'She told lum he was to marry soon, and become {he mother of ten children I' ------------------------ GEOGRAPHICAL ILLUSTRATIONS, ¢ John, where ia Africa ?° ¢ Ou the map, Sir." ¢ 1 mean, Joho, in what continent--the Eastern or Western continent 2° « Well, the land of Africa 1sin the East- ern continent ; but the people, sir are all of "em down South.' ¢ What are its products 2° ¢ Well, sir, it hasn't got any; it never had any." ¢ How do the African people live 7° * By drawing.' ¢ Drawing what 2? + Yes, Sir ; by drawing their breath ¢ Sit down John. ¢ Thomas, what is tho equator ?* ¢ Why, sir, it's a horizontal pole running perpendicularly through the Jmuganurions of. and old geograph ¢ Witham Stiggs, what do we mean by an eclipse 7" ¢ An eclipse is a thing as appears when the moun gets on'a bust, and runs against the sun ; consequently, the sun blacks the moon's face 7? ¢ Class is dismissed. emma en BELECTING FOWLS. The famous Platt Evans, of Cincinnatti, had an original mode of selecting fowls, which did him.good service on one occasion. Going 10 maiket one- morning, 'Platt's at- tention was. caught by a pile of dressed geese, in a. market wagon. Now, Plat was very fond of geese, but liked them tender. He had been deceived in his sole tions, and resolved not to be fooled agai. Approaching the farmer, Platt asked the ¢ price of your geese'--for Plan stargmased | alitte, theater THRE dy when quoth Platt: +I ree you've g- of just & d-dozen. I k-keep"b-p-Boarders, and they are the blamedest eaters you ever saw. © Are these geese Lat-tough ? I want some t-tough ones 10 feed to my b-b-bearders." The farmer said there wero several young avd tender ones mn the lot. ¢ W=w-well," said Pla, ¢ y-y-youn pick out the t-tough ones and ly them in a p-p-pile.' The farmer obliged him, placing all the tough together, when Platt suddenly remarked, ¢ I-11 1-t-t-take "these three," seizing the three young and tender towls whioh had been so carefully culled by the farmer. -------------------- UNKNOWN. Show us a young woman 4 hose waist has ever been encompassed by an arm ol the sea. X Where is the identical nose of the bellows that ever smelt a rat ? {Vhere is the person that was ever felt for by the heartof an oak ? Was any barber ever applied to shave the beard of on oyster? : What vocalist can lay claim to having ever been listened to by an ear of corn 7 THINGS such extra care lo protect yourselt from cold, while she goes bare, naked, and in slippers, that I veferred it was you that in- herited the mother's consumptive tenden- dies, and not she." tl A ---- A Jos Wanten.--The other night when the thermometer stood at zero a prominent citizen was aroused by a violent knocking atthe door of his domicil. Supposing that hing extraordipary had happened, be jumped out ol bed and opened the door, when he found a boy who questioned him as follows : ¢ Do you live here 7 "Are you going to hive here next summer 7 Do you own this house ? Upon receiving affir- mative answers the boy further interiogated: ¢ Mr. --, will you want your garden ploughed next spring, because if you do, I want the job." The ¢prominent citizen' slammed the door and went back to bed with 'anything but a religious wi of mind. There is one advantage in being a block- head--you are never attacked with. low spirits of apoplexy. The momenta man can worry he ceases to be a fool. ¢ My German friend, how Jong have you been married 7' ¢ Vel, dis is a ting vot I nefer seldom dont like to dalk apout, but when [ tees, it seems so long as nefer vas." A widow said one day to her daughter, ¢ when you are of my age you will be dreaming of a husband.' ¢ Yes, mamma - replied the young lady, ¢for the second time." A Doctor recently gave the following prescription fora young lady ¢--A new bon- net, a cashmere shawl, and a pair of gaiter boots. The lady, it is needless to say, has entirely recoved, Bip axp Boaun.--A Lonsdale man pub- lishes the following adverusement in the Woonsocket Patriot :--* The young buy that posted his wife Mary, in the last week's Patriot, for leaving his ¢ bed and board,' brought Lis wife to my house, five or six weeks ago, sick with the typhoid fever, and agreed to pay her board, which he failed to do. I hereby forbid all fools posting their wives on My bed and board, alier this date." A Washington Clergyman, in addressing a prayer on behalf of Universal Suffrage, without rega:d to race, color, age, or sex, said :-- ¢« Paradoxical as this may seem to thee, oh Loid !it is nevertheless true." fortune will be shivered in consequence thal Ts, hier Who Nea vis Li€'canle to thé wind, will shen his prefits algo given to the winds. 'A Parisian hairdresser has constructed a waterfall for gentlemen who have lost (heir back-hair. Bald-headed patties may take a little comfort. Water-falls and water-wheels ave out of fashion in London, Paris and New York and the more becoming Queen's Buaid is all the rage. Sunsible al last. SeLrFisuNEss REBUKED.--A poor old man busily planting an apple tree was rudely asked,--¢ What-do you plant trees for 7 you can't expéct lo eat the fruit of them." He raised himself vp, and, leaning upon his spade, answered, Some one planted trees before I was born, and I have eaten of the fruit. 1 now plant for others, to show my gratitude when I am dead." Thus shoold we think and act for the welfure of others. Lost Time.-- Lost wealth may be restor- ed' by industry ; the wreck of health re- gained by temperance ; forgoiten know- ledge restored by study ; ahenated friend ship smoothed into forgetfulness ; even for- feited rep won by peni and vir- Who has ever been pushed by a should of mutton ? [Wa know of many who have been pushed for one.]) The individual who was ever seen by the eye of a potatoe has not been visible. Was there ever an individual unlueky enough fo Je sbavey by the mouth of any river? Who ever felt the breath, from the lungs of a cheet of drawers. makes him feel his oats--in ap way. 3. Af your skating partner i8 eligible, and yourfoot is pretty, don't hesitate in asking him to adjust your ekate straps every five or ten He will rather like it. "NO ER Prox will Be ide at at the next Fy ent for a Se pe FREE ba owas shi Br Bast Whitby to Pont NATHANIEL MAYFAIR, 43-3 Prooklyn, Kings Co., N: Y, Perry, on Lake yuslipief Qctober 17th, 1866. Dogs ara valuable to on of the quantity of bark they yield. EE IL S°S°H ..- HOW 10. BE HAPPY. 0, who seitly' sleeps or wakes, '0f all the sond of men below, As be who the Observer takes, Nor lets the Printer unpaid go, TAKINGS . He took her fancy when he came, He took her hand, he took a kiss, : He took no notice of the shame * That glowed her Lappy cheek pt this. + He 100k 10 come of afternoons, He took an oath he'd ne'er deceive, He 1 ok her master's silver spoons, Aud after that he took his leave. re ---- A ---- Swear not at all, said a champion to a tue ; but who ever again looked upon his Yamal bours--recalled bis slighted years stamped them with wisdom, or effaced from heaveu's record the fearful blot of wasted hme. Cowper ann Coorer.--In old English names the dipthong "ow?" used generally 10 be pronounced ¢ 00." Thus the late Archbishop of Canterbury's name Howley was pronounced Hooley. Earl Cowper's name is prouounced « Cooper,', as was the name of tha poet William Cowper. In Lowland Scotch, which is, in fact, old English, a cow is invariably called a i" goo." The Imperial Court of Riom, France, his just decided that the epithet 'female' applied 10 A woman constituted an insult. Two kind of fish are plentifel i in SEETINGE now--skales and soles. mai who is a monster, a mathe trooper. He repliéd, I do not swear at all, but only at those who annoy me. Ever a mad philosopher is "the slave of some woman. 1] PAY iow iol Calta ster Your de ies