Lake Scugog Historical Society Historic Digital Newspaper Collection

Ontario Observer (Port Perry), 28 Feb 1867, p. 1

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% ut a » re -------- [] &li flues wii S| dis dn lion at oad posithd alk. i" 1g ' TR 8.1 Fdsu "PRINCE ALBERT, COUNTY OF ONTA whit LS FOL x: 2 X4-No, 4 Af da El ftir Buwol nk iE i WEEKLY, POLITIOAL, AGRICTLITRAL Ler ee you blgais FAMILY NEWSPAPER, oro % 20 WSR OED AT THE PICTORIA' , PRINCE ALBERT, wet HO pr hr EVERY. THURSO) AY MORNING, eddy od be es BAIRD & "PARSONS, rns yr Sito ge om i pod Witkin, fi] EEL i Fi drt a aia addressed to ) ve i i? 8 iy Quit a at our risk. 10 ig AMES OF ADVERTISING, pix € fnsertion ~ - - $0.08 Zi dt or IR - = = 0.02 btrwerie 8 ition, por anntin' 5.00 4 Meadured inf Nonpareil, and charged io space they, ocqupy,, gt a) nis received 'for publipation without spe Pe nstrudti 111 bb inserted until forbid, and w <harged 0) bye Noadvertisement will be laken it i libel disédunfaiowsd 16 Mri and others ho ad 1 or half ¥ AY HRA ihe object of which isto promote a vary benefit of any individual or compan by de rel ai vortisomenty and charged iL These terms will, in all cases, be iticily ads Ph of the North Rig sfOnari enon publieation Othe OBSERVER it, aid bic will Foomaniy ake tho lead in forwarding 1é general interests of thi e county; and in the amount and gensral news given, Will be unsurpassed by ay local puper published i Ca Canada. " X Jos DEPAVIMENT. 8, Hand Bi Posters, Programmes, Bill Tow 1 i Forms. i Books, Check Books, Cireul ubiiioss" Cards, Ball Cords, Ke , &c., of a ors execited prompily, and at lower ed ry the bhi coumy. ul bil hillg, fo fee. printed; 'hare on en to ine gus with H. PARSONS. Tuserter, | MI. Burnham, CLERK. THIRD. DIVISION COURT, Office: over Mr. Bigelow's Store, : PORT PERRY, Cc. W R. WALSH, ' FORSE Farrier, i¢ always in rerdiness to attend to all who may favor him with a call, He is well acquainted with the mode of p d tril ing; d can treat success. Hjgking ap eg an BL a hocess: Charges moderate, dente, Prince Albert. J. D. Céttingham, SFR, DENTIST, FHS BORELIA, C. W By a New Process, oss, Teeth can be Ex- tracted without ut pain, at his office, J.D. connected ih is profession. Wd neatness and Single a inserted--parts of sets, or whale sets--Cheap, and warranted. UNDERSTAND.--Attention to the Teeth preserves the health. Without teeth in good prder it is. impossible to masticate food for the Sor consequently there cannot be good t pind have decayed teeth, get them filled. t them replaced by new kin hg ph work SF aranted. If the work 1s not satisfactorily done, tho money will be refunded. Office hours from 8 a. m. to 5 p.m. Borelia, Jan, 15, 1867. 2-1 tificial Teeth 0. DD. "WAID, SURGEON-DENTIST, IMain=St., UArbrivge. Ase Dental operations performed with the utmost skill and care, warranted to give sat- tion or no charge, and at prices which defy 4. BAIRD. : is hea Bugtueas Directory, --Rev, Dr. II. D. Grieg 8, Port 'Hope ; Rev. J. She bot srnd Whitby ; ould, Esq., and J. Bolster, M. B,, Uxbridge s DR, JONES, Copan fot the County of Ontario, D. M. CARD, Frist Apps. ICENSED AUCTIONEER, Collector of Accounts on Cotmmissign, whether in or ont of tie com. emitiguete ade Jocurding to far ah ASE. of ar; instructions es In: attended any- i Wired the County, on thd oan A and "Ac oo i Dares # modere. Days for Sales appointed on 'Onsenver Office. All letters rly addressed to thie Uxbridge Post Office, ,M, D., C. M, il receive the Dropastationtion. LE 2a WAL niversit of McGill kk Pk PAIPHHS -- hE. Botiete, Montréal Thysician tirgeon and y Prince; Albert. Office. and Resi- Dube, Ke. Atcaushou, house lately ooeupied by Dr. Agnew. 'Drs, McGILL & EE, PRISCA, Surgsonsd &e, & iv Office and be WAL. M'GILL, M. Dy FRANCIS RAE, M, B. Lay i Jom BILLINGS, ARRIS Attorney at Law, Solicitor in Clangury, "Notary Publi oe Conveyancer, ringe Albert. . Office over fe, © COCHRANE & COCHRAN E, YARRISTER>, Attorneys, &. Prince Albert "office---o] seopposie the Town Hall; Mr. Bigelow's Store. C. Forman's ort Perry office~ov: "REVERE HOUSE," of no [ .... PROPRIETOR. B. PLANK, HATES purthesed fi the above hotel; and has furnished the Bar with the choicest liquors and cigars. Every attention paid to guess -- Stages to and from Whitby cal 1 daily. Careful ostlers always in attendance, COTTAGE HOTEL, GREENBANK. HE subscriber wishes to inform the traveling public that he has taken the above hotel, Ww ich he has fitted and furnished 'and where the best accommodation, 'NORMAN F, PATERSON, (Late of: Miller & Paterson, Toronto.) \ TTORNEY-at-Law, Solicitor in Chianastyy Conveysncer, &c., Beaverton, Office iho b oceupled by, Dr, Wilson, Simcoe-t. ith ighonty attention, can always be found.-- d stabling, enclosed yards, and attentive Ostlers, F R. A. MURTA, Proprietor. Greenbank, Feb'y 13,1866. 6-1y "eimai P pL HURD, A TTORNEY at'Law, Solicitor in Chan- lp SAT: | Notary Public, &o., FAREWELL & MoGEE, BANmSTERS eys, Solicitors and Pub Bio ffices; in the Post Office Building, Simcoe Street, Oshawa. 7. B. PAREWELL, LL.B. , |i R. M'GER, B, A. N & MACDONELL, aye Ontario. Of 8) H. J. MACDONNLL. a F. MPHERSON, B! RRISTER, 'and ER ha Atom sysaiLw) Solici- OPFOR Denis 8' doors west of the 1 i ph RS and _Aftorneys at. Law, T Jewett's Hotel; | KENT STREET, LINDSAY. Good stable and shed "attached, and an attentive ostler Always in in attendance. Free Omnibus to and from from the Cas and Boats. Saintfield Hotel. FILS house being new, ew, oommodiobs; and well furnished throughout, the public favoring fu youl their custom may depend on finding venience necessary to their comfort at- fended ig Good Stabling, and attentive Ostlers always In 'attendance, D. CAMPBELL, Proprietor. DAFOE HOUSE, Li} x 1 C Au " 0. is prepared to execute dll operations : ee MACKIE 1 Walton Street, Port 'Hope. Wa, MACKIE, Proprietor. ONTARIO HOTEL, BROCKST, WHITBY. C. DAWES, = = "= PROPRIETOR. CL)PARPAS AD HOW A COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER LOST, HS WHISRERS. . prem the Hira Observer Motrdal has a big ll a big belt, a big Cathedral, a big ihill, big wholesale houses, big wharves, viva works, and bigget than py sug {men known'as fal Jira re Og- MONEY TO :LOAN. T LOW RATES OF 1 OF INTEREST, 'Apply to MESSIEURS COCHRANE & COCHRANE, Prince Albert. | casionally these tik, patronize the quiet folks of Elora and other baek country places, | by their presence, set us all staring at the latest city styles;the mngular manner, and the distingue air which marks the repre- MONEY, (BRIVATE FUNDS,) To loan on good Farms, at 8 per cent interest. LYMAN ENGLISH, Barrister, 35 shawa. November 21, 1866. 46 Money to Len d IN BUMS OF S300 and Upwards, Ata low rate of Interest, FAREWELL & McGEE, Solicitors, a Oshawa, Nov. 14, 1866. 46-2m HALF A MILLION TE 2 Money to Lend ! HE undersigned has completed arrange- ments, whereby he is prepared to lend £500,000 of Private Funds, on good. mortgage security, ata low rate of interest, The borrow- er can have his own time to pay the principal. I am .also Agent for two of the largess mone- tary institutions in Canada, that lend money from 3 to 10 years, at six per eént interest. No Cominission Charged. Silver and Greenbacks bought and sold. Apply personally to JAMES HOLDEN, OFFiciaL ASsIONEE, Notary Punic, Land Insurance, General Agent, &c., §e. Orrrop--MeMillan's Block, Boek iStrier. Whitby, Oct. 3, 1866. MONEY T TOANI! $100,000. NE HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars to Loan on Mortgage security, in su ug to suit borrowers, at a very moderate rate of interest. Apply at Warchouse, to the far-famed Manchester JOHN HODGSON. REFER ERs kind permitted to T. ns Gite, in 5 P., Qshaw: MC G. Cameton, J Toronto] Res. 1 Worrell, M. wa; Wan Laing. Faq. Whitby 7 Bi LB Myrtle; Adam Gordo, Esq hnrietor of the els chester Warehouse; Robert McKindly, ¥eq., Borelin{ Neil Sinclair, Esq.. Port Fork ; Joseph Reeder, Esq. Sengog; John Clark, Esq, Manilla ; Jonathan Holg- son, Fig Oakwood ; or Brabazon, Eeq., Wick; LEdq., Brack; Col. Vicoma, Henry ames Spieran, Esq, Vroomanton 1566, 32-3m A heipen, On Uela: adwel Brethour, Esq, Manchester, Sept. 5h. WESTERN ASSURANCE COMP'Y TORONTO, LW. 1851. INCORPORATED, .... Capital, - "$400,000. VAY MICHIE, Es Pice-P RESIDE IN. J. McMURRICH SEC'Y ANDTREAS.. BERNARD HALDAN, Esq JAMES PRINGLE, Travelling Agent. County of Onario THE COMMERCIAL UNION Assurance Company, 19 & 20 Corymmr, LONDON, VRESIDENT.... lly AND } 385 & 387 Sr. Paun Sr, MONTREAL. CAPITAL £2,500,000 OR $12,508,000» fraser A of guests. 5 1806; . Quy HITE NT (a 8 Core vr By ds WILSON, + CEE ARRISTER; Attorney at Law, Solicitor ! Ctitnery, Sud co in' the Victoria HL LB, neers Alle Almeys iy Office--Si oH i Jed w fo Oshawa, C. W | DUNDAS, §T ioe cp Ae PR oi pata st wines, Tig uors and J. DAFOE, Propietor; THE RONSON HOUSE! ! Lu ATE SCRIPTURE'S HOTEL, T. WHITBY, 0, Wo GEOKGE ROBES oh, i 77 FEOPRIETD 1 Subseriber begs to go fo anfiounce hist ho has Re the building ae Kno a8 Scrip-' op nL TE "of i AE ture's Hotel, for a ten and that he has en waged thd i refurnied th Boing thr " pas he HE jPion centre of the town, Omnibus calls a¢ the Hotel, and for Uxbridge sud Beaverton leave the dee pri 1 Bai Corel thers Alyays in attendance. GEO! ROBSON LTR Com 3 ALBERT 8 SPRING, hy BOA | peti = i TES ge an ott. eka FA {arial Ei | for. the Com a] ful 3 Aw TS Tol ~9198¢ anluN E MAJOR, alt AR Li NOW) pad Shr Bh SHO Auctl tioneer, EVER HOUSE BEAVERTON, Cc. W, HE Subscriber be Vd to pen inoue th that | he he hug | iar of. 8 and gars WH! RKIN, Proprietor, | Beaverton, July 27, 1864 "9 HIS C: ore po fect seonrty to the assured, and offers the ad nage of a mu tual office, with freedom from sll liabl JOHN HM. wows, ly 2 . Maneicgior, RE 1] 9 y A L spas o --- THE sub is sa Th his 'numerous etstopie) fioted from the carat to the aise Then proton oni of Mr, Gordon's Store, w! Toute Ltosupr) ly the public sw 3] % Wagons,0 arriages, ic: AT THE SHORTEST NOTICE. Oonstantly on bad 1 supply of tose ex] Revolving Cards Rakes ! Such ng manufactured last year. to Camas 0 Th ie repairs. nds high i qe A {JAMES Pa KIN. Manchester, ApH Aven 1866. fu | iron, grasp ofits myrmidons ? itatixes of the very big dry goods, grocery hardware, crockery and drug houses of the eastern melcopolin.. It lis! true that the M slightly of Griffintown, but such men are exceptions to the rule. - As a whale, the knights of the road are jolly good fellows, everyone,' and we like thefr heaity hand shake, rollicking manners, and love of business combined with fun. Several of them congregated in the village of Mount Forest, or. Sunday last, and passed the day as all decent people do. In the evening howeyer, one of them a dominutive specimen of humanity, with more brass than brains, and bearing a close resemblance to Mr. Tappertit in Barnaby Rudge--and who has the honor of repre- senting one of the largest drug establish- ments.in Canada--sauntered round town, iu his peregrinations grossly insulted a lady walking in the street. No man was at hand, but a boy standing near became the champion of the outraged woman, and ex- pressal himself in terms rather more' terse than polite. Tappentit, feeling his physical advantage, rushed at the boy and knocking him over, retired to his hotel flushed with his double victory over ah uuprotected fe- male and child. The lad, disliking pub- lieity; declined to prosecute the jackanapes, as he deserved, and the boy resolved to turn over the affair to the big brother for future reckoning, but the matter was talked o | about, and chanced to reach the ears of some of the commercial men stopping al the hotel with Tappertit. Determined to be even withthe fellow. who had so die- graced their order, one of them went Up (© his room early next 'morning, telling him that a warrant was out, and that ha could only save himself by immediate fight. Shaking like an aspen; Tappertit at once threw lnmself upon the ready resources of his friend. A hasty breakfast, a quiet de- parture by the back dafr, and a rapid drive to Fergus were recomnjended. Tappertit acted as promptly as hig his shattered nerves would permit. Without venturing near the bar room, the bill was called for and paid, drug samples and all were hastily thrust into a trap in the rear of the premises, and our hero sneaked out of Mount Forrest, through its back lanegand streets at as rapid a rate as horse flesh could carry him. The other commercials followed, but not before calling at the telegraph office and, directing a message to be sent to the leading hotel keeper in Fergus, three hours after their departure. Then they followed their vic- tim in full cry, overtaking him after a Tine, and increasing his terror by telling him 'that Mount Forest was astir, that conslablés would soon be in pursuit, and that he would be nabbed unless using extraordinary ex- erfions. Extraordipary exertions were used, and the whip was plied with vigor. Every few minulgs the eyes of the fleeing Tappertit were turned to the north looking anxiously back for fierce pursuers and his gorgeous black whiskers were hidden fiom the gaze of every traveller he met upon the road, Fergus at length was. reached and the partyl pulled 1 its chief hostelry,, where mine host ¢,réb€ived them with his accustomed urbanityy? &v., &o. Tappertit breathed more freely, For constables had not been seen, angit waseale to register. With fiouieh e, entered his name, and with another "spread, himself in his usual style. Butagloud was gathering. A little boy, inngoent of the terrible missive he carried, entered the dopr with a telegram. r the landlord. Quickly opening it he ad : ed) : Mount Fores, 3rd Dec. 1866: { Datgin--' on a, charge of assault, and " send him back by Anderson's team,' « Where. biti demanded he, look- ing round suspiciously at his newly arrived guests, «Thats not my name, promptly replied our hero. But his pluck has gone. That fatal book would tell the story, and fresh flight alone wopld save him. Ten minutes elapsed before a friendly rig was found to take him to Elora. His friends | after transacting their business, followed. A council was held. What should he do? How escape the meshes of the | law the He, was well known. His gustom his ari lic man- { ners--his peculiar style--his wiskers off, no body. would recognize him. Noble hought! The barber was. sought, the COMME bogs lo 8 toa ounco that, 'he premises | in, Te aude re | Ora| Which have been oly fusion reson i bi 8 ig wi hitlin fos n fo Bor cu. bai 8 ue Kh eed sigbling. enclosed 2 erate. 3-1y JOHN MILLER, Liv ory Stab] es. Cc. MATER with i "Horses Fie riages, at moderate rates, en foaming. father was applied, the cold steel | followed, and Tapperlit was Aransformed 1 f |The Saonfice was great, but, perish the | Bowing, bristling jot black | beauties, rather | than good nae and reputation] If whisk- erless, he was not undone, Looki glass, he did not know himself. best friends and advisers would have pass- | ed him--vo they vowed---=without yecog= wzing ham ! A storekeeper in town, upon whom he called, but who happened. to be In' the secret, couldn't make him out.-- 'Tappertit felt a little shaky, it is true, buy safe. Imagine his surprise, therefore, when, on Taesday morning a formidable fooking person, who had been previously ¢posted® as to whatilo do, tapped him on thie shoulder and claimed him as his i | The d i his instructions exactly, with a single excep- tion--black whiskers were wanting. Had he shaved them off ? Tappertit was loud in his protestations of innocence ; it was all a mistake, He would telegraph to Mount Forest--10 Montreal--all over the world, if necessary to show that he wasn't the man. Tie pseudo constable began to waver. He might be wrong. He must look fuither into the matter. In the mean time he would not hold Tappertit under arrest. Need we add that the poor little fellow took advantage of the opportunity, and sloped for parts unknown ? Maal: If you would save your whisk- ers, don't insult women in Mount Forest. ARTICLES WANTED. The Rural Southerner hits off the fash- ionable airs of the present day in the fol- lowing style : Wanted--An intended bride who is will- ing to commence housekeeping in the same style in which her parents began. Twenty fashionable young ladies who dare to be seen wielding a brush, or darning their brother's stockings, if a gentleman should happen to make an early morning call. Ten independent young ladies of good families," who dare lo wear their last winters bonnet to church on a fine Sun- day. Fourteen young ladies, 'who are any- body," who dare to be"seen in the street, wearing shoes with soles thick enough to keep their feet warm. Fifly young ladies of sufficient age 'to go into company,' who dare confess that they lave ever made a loaf of bread 'or a pudding. GENERAL LEE, ANECDOTE OF The editor of the Galveston (Texas) Civil- ian, in a letter from New Orleans, mention- ing an interview with Gen. James Long- street, stated that he ¢ heard [rom his own trothful tongue the folowing characterestic anecdote of Gen. Robert E. Lee. On one occasion Gen. Lee called Col. L. one of his stafl officers, into his tent, and commenced dictating while Col, wrote, Col. L., had in his mouth a pipe, and was smoking. The general inhale the noxious vapor until his patience became exhausted, and then smd : ¢ Col. 1L., you can retire, and send me Col, M. ; he does pot smoke." Col. L., retired, and in a few moments Col. M. entered, to whom the general commenced dictating, but after inhaling the atmosphere of the tent for a while, he discovered it to be consider- ably impregnated, not with the perfume of ses, but the odious smell of villainous | whisky, which he could not stand. ¢ Retire, Col. M., and send me an officer who nei- ther drinks nor smokes ; 1 would rather en- dure the smoke of tobacco than the smell of whisky." YOU CAN'T CATCH IT, You can't catch it, boys orgirls. You may be as fleet of foot as the anteloupe, or you may fly as on the wings of an eagle, buf you can't overtake it.} Cannot eveitake what 7 The bad word, that has passed your lips! It has fled to heaven, and written itsell upon the book of Gop. You can't catch it. The wicked deed you performed is soar- ing to the judgment, and was stereotyped on the memory of the Judge." You can't caléh ite The sinful thought you indulged! Its image was caught by the light of Gov's eye, and photographed on the roll of your history. You can't, catch it. Beyare, + then, O children, what you think, what you do, what you say. rt pe A DRUMMERS Ep, The stagnation of trade has been sevel ely felt by all business men, and even that ei» terprising class of our fellow-crealures known as ¢drammer's,' or travelling sales- men, despite their almost inexhaustible in- veution and resources, have been obliged occasionally to yield to the prosure of the times, One of these' gentlemen 'who las recent- ly returned from a trip for Thistle Bros. & Co., of this city, did not show a very large exhibit of orders to balance the liberal ex- pense account allowed him by the firm, and Mr. Thistle, alter looking over his return, said-- ¢ Mr. Ralaplany [am afraid you do not approach 'the dealers in the right way I used to bowery successful in this line. Now just suppose me to be M Mr. Bigher, of | ® | Sellout, 1l., and show mo the way you in- , | troduce the house." Accordingly Rataplan stepped out of the counting-room and re-entered, Fy wnghiring, i¢ ds Mr. Bighbein ©) <0 "bar andy wre ASL «That, in my samme, seid Thistle, urban E Why is 8 ly. Si A «My name is rataplag, sit; 1 represen. | the house of Thistle Bros, & Co., of Bostont (Thistle, in his chara of Wisiern mer- chant, here rose, of 'the 'salesman 8 chair, and xpretoed Sivgiautato at seeing him.) ¢ I am stopping with ange, at the Stickem House, and have a fine unbroken lot ot samples which I should like to show you ; think we can offer you some special advantages," &c. And Rataplan delivered himself of a neat speech in professional style, ¢ Very well, very well," said Thistle ; ¢1 don't see but that you understaud the way to get at customers.' ¢ Excuse me, Mr. Thistle,' said Rataplan; ¢ I am afraid you do not understand the style of Western merchants just now; supp you exchange places with me, and we re- peat this rehearsal.' ¢ Certainly,' said Thistle, and picking up his hat, he stepped out. Returning, he found Rataplan with his chair nlted back, hat cocked fiercely over his right eye, his heels planted on thistle's polished desk, and a lighted cigar between his teeth. Thistle looked a litle staggared, but nevertheless he commenced :-- ¢1s Mr. Bigher in ? ¢ Yes, he is,' responded Rataplan, blow- ing a cloud of pure Connecticut into Thistle's eyes. ¢ Who in thunder are you ?' ¢ I represent the house of Chistle Bros, & Co." said the astonished employer, cough- ing out about a quart of smoke from his throat, ¢ The blazes you do ; concern ?* ¢ No, sir, 1 am not,' said Thistle. ¢ Well, it's lucky for you that you are not for 1'veshad two drummers to one customer in my store for the last two months, and 1f I could get hold of one of the blasted fools that send em out here at this time, I'm darned if T wouldn't boot him clean out of the town of Sellont. ¢ That'll do, that'll dé, Mr. Rataplan,' said Thistle; ¢ I have no doubt yod did the best you could for the interest of the house, Trade 1s ja little dull.>~Commercial Bel- letium, are you one of that 'GO ON, SIR, GO ON! Arago says in his ¢ Autobiography,' that his master in mathematics was a word or two of advice which be found in the binding of one of his text-books, Puzzled and dis- couraged by the difficuities he met with in his early studies, he was almost ready to give over the pursuit. Some words which he found on the waste leaf used to suffen 'the cover of his paper-bound text-book caught his eye and and interesied him. ¢ Impelled," hie says, ¢ by an indefinable curiosity, I dampened the cover of the book and carefully unrolled the leal to see what was on the other side. It proved to be a letter from D'Alembert to a'young person disheartened, like myself, by the difficulties of mathematical study, and who had written to hjm for_counsel.. £ Go pn, nir ga on," was the counsel which D'Alembert gave him. ¢The difficulties you meet will re- solve themselves as yon advance. Proceed, and light will dawn and shine with increas- ing clearness on your path," That maxim,' said Arago, 'was my greatest master in mathematics," Following out the simple words, ¢ Go on, sir, go on,' made him the first astronomical mathematician of his age et Smartt see Roo For AN INFERENGE.--Lawyer C.-- (entering his friend's, Dr. M 'e, office, and speaking in a hoarse whisper)--¢ Fred, I've got such a cold this morning, I can't speak the truth." Dr. M.--¢ Well, I'm glad it' nothing that will interfere with your business." C. finds enough of his voice to mutter some antiquated - remafks about doctors beingslegalized murderers, &c., and boits off 10 meet an engagement. ¢ Now, girls," said Mr. Partington the other day to her nieces, ¢ you must get hus- banns as soon as possible, or they'll be murdered.' ¢ Why so, aunt," they asked, ¢ Why I see by the papers that we've got almost fifteen "thousand post offices, and . | nearly all on 'em despatches & mail every day. ~ Pity us poor widows!' said the old lady , stepping quietly to her looking, glass to put on her new cap.' lp A ---- ee. Binos or or a Featuer.--An ornithological match. recently made in Paris near Edin- burgh, 'has sel the whole neighborhood in a fut r.. Miss Henrietta Peacock espoused r. in Sparrow, the Bridesman being Mr, Philip Hawk, and the bridesmaid Miss Larkins. The Marriage leas were taken by J. Crow! MatnemaTican WIND. Tha Inte Pro- fessor Vince, one morning (several tres having been blown down the Hig pe vious) meeting a friend in the walks John's College, | Cambridge, was accosted | ¥ with ¢ how 23 do 8 sir 4 et a bluster- ing wind this. es.8 - answered Vince, ¢1t1s a rave Eo) wind? =. ¢ Mathe~ matical wind I' exclaimed thy other,' how 80 7° Why, replied Vince, ¢ it has exlracl- ed a great many roots." eet tet "Wine is a capilal medicine when taken in the ¢ original packages'--viz., 'grapes. An Trish Tady in hoe wil ndated her body to be buraed after hor dd was aftaid of being buried An eminent artist pn ups of peo rind mri Why is a newspaper ls a good. wife} Because every man should have one of his own, and not borrow of his neighbour. A poot says that the wind Kisses ihe waves. That, we suppose, is the celebrated « kiss for a blow? about which we have heard 80 much, tan A curate who adopted a wb notonasiy whine in his prayers on being remensirated with by his diocesan, pleaded that such a tone was proper to aots of suppleation, because beggars always assumed a whine when they asked alms. The 'bishop ro- plied: ¢ Yes; but when they do I always know that they are impoain7 am give them nothing Keep your temper. The oil hammer moulds and masters red-hot-iron. The man who fell into error was lifted out by a lever of public opinion. A flirt 28 the dipper of the public pump, which all may drink.of, but gone cary a» way. The boy who undertook to ride a horse radish is now practising ou a saddle of muts ton. ¢I can't undertake, wife, to-gratily all your whims, it would be as much as my life ip worth." "Oh, sir, that's nothing' Why do young ladies confess that Rituals istic Curates are desireable speculation ? Be~ cause they are preity in-yesjments, Teeth are stopped with gold, and tongues may be so, likewise. A man with a neh wife is often silenced by throwing her mon» ey in his teeth. Mt. Dobbs says he has one of the most obedient boys in the world, He tells him to do us he pleases; and he does jt withops murmuring. It is said that there js 2 man down east whose feet are so large that ha cannot get a glimpse of the ground without throwing a somersault--a feat rather dificult for-him to perform. A sailor being asked how he liked his bride, replied : «* Wh, d'ye see, I took her to be only half of me, as the parson says, but dash me if she isn't twice as much asl. I'm orily a tar,but she is a tartar." A daughter is always right when she ens deavours to intimate her mother ; but we da nat think the mother is equally right when, at a certain period of her life, she tries all she can to imitate her daughter. The Jews are catohing the sqintof reform and progress. They are building a synago~ gue 1n the fashionable part of New York, ta colt $600,000. The congregation is of the reformed arder--families are to sit together--- the ram's horn gives place toan elegant organ. They hold that much of the law ot Moses is sanitory, fot moral, and Snot odligatory under a different clime. Tne hog in Palestine was diseased; if Moses: could have tasted our Cincinnati ham, he would not have forbiden it. The oysters of Syria were coppery ; not so the New York oysters, Had the Jews been wn Russia the law against building a fire on Sunday would not have been created, as the nation would have frozen to death! We are never satisfied that a lady une (ferstands a kies unless we have it from ber own lips, b Early next year fattening old ores will be commenced on a large scale 'in' France, with a view to the requirements, eonepe gent upon the influx of foreigners, , eg AN ACROSTIO, Born in Natures swestest hohe, EF wraces hove! round heed Uniouy worth, gud honor bound Thus while 8 youth proglaisat thes - ir Youth ove will name thes A cute Yankee youth vickimized two dhe zona of London last week-- Me. Parnell of : the # City Arms" hotel, and Mr. D. T.. Ware, jewler, by passing upon them eoun- terfait American greenbacks. The former took $20 of the stuff in paymemt for board, iy the latter $140 of it for a gold' watch and chain, -- Exchange. The Guelph Advertiser says; On of er t morning last, Mr, Wm. Hearn, butcher, 'Waterloo road, was bit by 340g yppedd {8 be affected with h The dog came Into tne stable, and Mr. Hearn at tempting to secure it, the cnr bitone of his' ttle. Singers very severely. Being Gppre- he same in to Dr. -- son after, who amputated the finger about the middle joint; Anan, was made {0 seoure the dog Hearn, bot he made of, and: be i 2 anes, been seen. id The oup that wether choses mor ifebri= ates--the hic-oup. ® Te Sat 3 ig

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