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the new reporter? I condense as much as pos- _ Assistanf--"He did. Here's his ac- count of yesterday's afternoon tea: Mrs. Lovely poured, Mrs. Jabber roar- ed, Mrs, Duller bored, Mrs, Rasping gored and Mrs. Empcnpoint snored. Only the restaurant chef knows what he puts in his soup and he can't remember. 'Boy--""Did you know that they had discovered a new planet?" His Chum--"No, is it anything like spinach?" What gives people the Wiies? We 2 are not sure, But are inclined to sus- A : pect the stork. Dearie--"1 made these biscuits for you all by myself." 4 Hubby-- "That's yery th ughtful of you, sweetheart; but you shouldn't do such heavy work." Late marriages ere to be preferred since the victi 18 have so much short- er time in which to be tired of each other, b Business Man--"What do you think' of the board of directors of the new company?" Friend--""Half o. them ara capuble 3 of nothing, while the rest are capable of anything." The plea of the fiendish murderer | is always for mercy. Something he' did not give himself. | The Miracle--300 women :n the cast and none of them saying a word. He--""To-n.gh I'm going to speak $ my mid to you." i 2d ~ She--"Aren't you really: going to! say anything?" i i Advice . My son, sed 4hat you don't believe All that you hear, or you will grieve; You'll find so many people know So many 'hings that are not so. "Meet "Laundry," boys, she's always called for and de' ered. Nothing is so worthls as a direc tory of folks who never stay put long enough to be counted. "I've got a woman crazy for me," sang the asylum keeper, Bill--"I never kiss a girl except on great occasions," Sue--""What do you call great occa: sions?" Bill--"Whenever I kiss a girl." To be happy cultivate your forget- tery. g "This day started wrons, because the first letter opened began: 'Dear sir and brother." There's small choice. A summer vacation is just as cheap 1s staying at home and entertaining relatives who are on vacation. « Music Teacher (to young man call- ing on his daughter)--"What shall we have--a concerto of a sonata?" 5 Pupil--*"No, thanks; T'll take mine 5 straight." Len Masses Are Afraid : . To Travel by Air? Plain language Is|used by Major John i J. Jeffers 'of the Fortietl. Division, : California National Guard, about safe- ty in flying. He points out to avia- tion enthusiasts that, as a "crash" is always reported - in the newspapers with a reference to previous accidents, "the total effect is further to under- mine the public's confidence in the air- plane as a safe medium of travel." Nevertheless, he says, in an article in 'Aviation, "the only way to stop news of crashes is to stop the crashes." "Man in the mass," writes Majojr . "is not airminded--he Is d-minded." People n.'urally see rent disadvantage of the plane ng able to remain stationary air in fog or in the darkness, compares it with the motor car | 0 h a ship that can live of course. RED can be ios 7 3 Epd A ee 3 at any grocer's, be satisfied to Scrambled Poetry . EHt Whigs The letters of the words in this lit- tle verse seem somehow to have be- come mixed up. See it you can un- ' | ravel them, Woh od ouy kiel ot og pu ni a gwins, Pu ni eht ria os lueb? Ho, I od'hinkt ti het testnaseapl inthg Vere a hilde nac od! pa ni eht riadan vero eth lawl, Lilt I nac ese os diéw, Versir adn "eetr dan tlecat nad lal Evro eth edisyrtnuoc-- Ii I kolo wond no teh dnerag negre, Nwod no eht foro or rabnw-- Pu ni eth rai I og gnityl nagia, Pu ni eht ira nad nwod! Trebor Suiol Nosnevets, eA) nme STURDY CHILDHOOD The sturdy child--the bright, active | little chap is the one everybody loves, It is only the sickly, fretful child who is not attractifle. It is the birthright of every child to be sturdy and well-- to be able to make everyone admire him, = Therefore, mothers, it yours is not attractive it's your fault, not his, He must be ailing and it is up to you to see that he gets rellef--that he is given a medicine that will quickly make him well and keep him well. Baby's Own Tablets are especially designed for infants and young child- ren. There is nothing to equal them for correcting the irregularities of the stomach and bowels--the cause of most of the ills from which little ones suffer. The Tablets are sold by medi- cine dealers or by mail at 25 cents a box from The Dr. Williams" Medicine Co., Brockville, Ont. stain sade R « A millionaire may be reckoned as one who has an income of not less! than $250,000 a year. Britain had, 598 such "millionaires" in 1924, but, this number had decreased to 497 by 1928, few people will drink bulk tea. and ting of the Shycot dam in the Syndh desert, which wiped out villages and. caused hundreds of deaths are among, the experiences of J. Gill, 31, of Braford, England, and P. Irving, 27, of Melbourne, Australia, world-traversing -motoréyclists, who recently arrived in Montreal on the last lap of th ,000 mile journey. Starting trom London, England, on May 13, 1929, Gill, accompanied by W. T. Stephens, who was later obliged to drop out ¢n account of {11 health, went through France, Germany, Switzor- land, Austria, Hungary, Jugo-Slavia, Bulgaria, Turkey, Syria, Irak, Persia, Baluchistan, India, Burma, the Feder. ated Malay States and Aussralia. At Melbourne he picked up Irving, his Present companion, and from there they went to New Zealand, taking a steamer from thers to Vancouver. They came here trom the Pacific coast and took in a little United States ter- ritory on their way. Arriving at Van. couver on April 24, it took them less than two months to reach Montreal. "The object of our trip is to prove to overseas motorcycle dealers that British-made machines ar, still su- preme," Gill sald, "Ours is a Vincent H.R.D. one-cylinder, 4 h.p. machine," he said, "which, when the sidecar is loaded, pulls a weight of more than 1,200 It is, I think, the only Motors of Future ill Run Minus Gas? Automobile owners need not fear a shortage of motor fuel, according to Thomas T. Read, professor of mining engineering in Columbia University. Professor Read foresees the possi- bility that the automobiles of the fu- ture may not require liquid fuel. This development he regards as no more improbable than flying was thirty years ago. He says, as quoted in a press bulletin issued by the Univer- sity"s Department of Public Informa- tion: The only eople who have grounds for immediate worry are the petro- leum refiners, who in 1929 made 420, 000,000 gallons more gasoline than they could sell, and .s0 had to add it to their already large stock. Gasoline is not the only possible fuel for automobiles, fo the research men 'and manufacturers have many oth-= 1 "strings to their bow," we are assured as 'the discussion is continued: Motor fuel can be produced by the hydrogenation of coal, and the Leuna plant in Germany hoped to produce 100,000,000 gallons in that way last year. Even in the face of the fact that more ordinary gasoline is being made than can be sold, a number of possi- bilities of substitute liquid fuels are being studied, and ennsuraging pro- | 'PALE FACES one-cylinder machine that Las ever been used on a trip around the world." JADED NERVES Due To Weak, Watery Blood. Anaemia -- impoverished blood -- comes so stealthily that it {is 'often well advanced before recognized. Fa- tigue and discomfort, the carliest man. ifestations of the trouble, are seldom Still mo re 1 oe os The wonderful quality of their 100% Havana filler has been steadily maintained--and they are foil wrapped. than ever. SON'S BACHE St for + Ci the rat ndi t packs i ive » taken seriously. Soon the face be- comes pale; the nerves jaded; the | heart palpitates violently after the slightest exertion; the appetite be- | comes fickle and before you realize it' you are in a terrible plight, At such time, hy enriching and puri- fying the blcod Pr. Williams' Pink Pills will build up the nerve cells and correct the rundown condition. Con. cerning them Miss Margaret Torrey, Toronto, Ont., says: --"I suffered a complete breakdown, My heart would palpitate on the least exertion. Noth- ing I ate agreed with me. I started taking Dr. Williams' Pink Pills and by the time I had taken several boxes I was ready for anything; I had gain- ed in weight and every distressing symptom had left me." You can get these Pills from any gress is being made. Finally, there is the pssib'lity that the automobile of the fuiure may not Medicine Co, Brockville, Ont, Se require liquid fuel. It seems improbable now, but not more improbable than fying through | mond, has left its exclusively white- So! collar job and put on overalls. the air seemed. thirty years ago. "there is no need for worry. A mimi Little Doris: "Mummy, what is a Civil. Servant?" Mother: "It's so long since we had one that I've almost forgotten, darling." imide ---- The talking pictures have caused a great change in the personnel of the movies. Will television similarly causa some of the popular radio enter- | tainers to seek another' fleld? The Finishing Touch dealer in medicine or by mail at 50 cents a box from The Dr. Willia ths" That precious stone, the white dia- A leading optical company has discover- ed that the jewel, properly mounted, is the best possible cutting tool for finishing small metal parts, cutting literally thousands of pieces with no change In its cutting edge. Aristo- cracy, whether of gems or of men, justifies Its existence best by giving the most service, ------if i P: "How do he and his wife get along together?" Q: "Fins, .hecanse they seldom are." As the giant liner clipped 'off the miles on her regular trans: journey, Miss Edith Young and girl friend reclined on the promehade deck, 'stead; t 'm so shabgy I wi How Ja. that, | Baithyt !" exclaimed Beth to rt Empress of Japan ron SALE C.P.R.s Biggest Shi -- > JAAN. 8 1gges 1p There is quite a lot of fun to be had | Al HAY CHR ni Hareiny dors + Bin +, from an old auto tire. It may be used flex © Write tor free catuloeve A Marble Swimming Pool, Palm | 8 a swing and tied with a strong rope | Switzer tranton_ Ont ' Court and Fine Decora to a beam overhead, or to the strong| gaoRr SALIE--200 Aci Goon CLAY anc ple 1 am, 25 acres bush, balance a - : branch of a tree. A single rope ial I. {pain 25 moves bush, a took, tions suflicient. The one who swings sits | well fenced, Arst class buildings. watet on the lower curve with the feet on'in barns and hou: yne mile from school 3 ' sple and church. Will sell all in bloc! or each An engineering triumph of splendor oie side. of the tre, and the Toad Jud chus on 5 Fall in bloch or each and efficiency, the Empress of Japan, largest ship of the Canadian Pacific Railway's many ocean services, has become a unit in the largest transpor- tation organization in the world. In a few days she will leave for the Pa- cifie. The railway has staked the millions which have gone into the largest ship sailing under the Canadian ensign up- on the growth of trade and devélop- ment of relations with the Far East. The ship is a worthy portrayal of their faith. Never has such a floating palace been placed on the Far East service, and to Canada is offered the pride of sailing the largest ship on the Pacific, built in Glasgow for a Canadian com- pany, operated by Canadians and with an established Glasgow-to- Montreal speed record. Though she will be overshadowed by her sister ship recently launched by the Prince of Wales, the Empress of Britain, nearly half as large again in tonnage and even more luxuriously equipped and fitted, yet the Japan will carry the name of Canada into the far routes of trade. The interior decoration is artistic throughout. Deck after deck appears before the eye, a symphony of har- monious finish. For completeness few ships on any route can compete with her. Spectacular Swimming Pool Sunk in a marble setting at the up- per end of which a golden dolphin spouts a spray of water to the centre of the pool, it is surrounded by a pro- menade. At the lower end is a mod- ernistically designed . buffet from which soothing fluids are dispensed to resting bathers, On boarding the ship the first to catch the eye is the Palm court, reach- ing from side to side and cellinged with ground glass through which filt- ers golden light. At the forward end is the dining salon, the full width of the ship, one end given to a serving stand above which towers a gleaming mirror in the centre of which is em- bedded a tiny clock. A futuristic promenade alley leads to the oak ball room. Here, from a golden stage, the orchestra will be heard. Above it dancers will find a 'garden, a promenade riotous with col- orful blooms, All lighting is from concealed fix- tures. Each room, no matter what its size, is a blending of woods, furnish- ings and fixtures, Two suites, sur- passing that of many hotels and only rivalled in a few Instances, have tiny | Bardens with cool-colored summer fur- Stun All staterooms have green and | Hospitals, bathroo ] ly Liniment gives quick relief. TRIN Tire Antics! per curve. Such a tire may also be! tied ovér a plunge or swimming pool and used as a spring board. The dive may be made from it cither in a sit ting or standing position. | For a stunt contest at a camp program or party, the auto tire is full of possibilities. Below are some suggestions; you will think of many others: 1. See who can roll a pair of auto tires, with the hands, to a certain goal within the shortest time. Someone holds a watch to time each contestant in turn, h See whe can roll a single tire the longest distance ahead of him without allowing it to fall. 3. Suspend an auto tire above the heads of the players, and see who can throw a number of different articles through it, without missing. Such ar- ticles as a ball, an apple, a shoe, a horse shoe or a hat may be tossed through it in turn. 4. Roll a tire toward a-ling of boys and see if each boy on a side (there should be two sides in this contest) can jump and allow the tire to roll be tween the legs. x 5. Have two persons hold an auto tire on the ground and see which boy can crawl through the tire the quick- est. 6. Place an auto tire around the walst and, with this handicap, time each contestant in a racs 'o see who can run the fastest to a certain point. ge Minard's Liniment Checks Colds. smm-- A Lost Heart When Kitty plays tennis, knows She's playing, too, a game as clever; A game I vow I'll have to close, _ Though Kitty would make it last for- ever. - I watch her thus, aglow, alert, + A pretty maid, and so--a flirt; My heart's the ball; 'twas Kitty's way To seize it first, then order--"Play." ef ie well ghe Casey (after seeing Riley fall five stories): "Are yes dead, Riley?" Riley: "Ol am that" Casey: "Shura, an' ye're such a llar Of don't kmow whither to belleve yez or not," Riley: "An' that proves O'lm dead. Yor wudh't call me a lar If Of wuz alive." Nurses Wanted The Toronto in affiliation ool, expenses to Sad Sbly to tae Beveristeadent above the upper curve, holding to the te rope tied around the center of the up- | { "ISSUE No. 27--30 = 3 Classified Advertising Apply Morley Heath. Shanty Pay, D. ¢ AGENTS WANTED GENTS BARN GOOD MONEY selling the best fruit trees, shrubs, evergreens, roses, ete; town or selling outfit supplied: commissions paid & Sons, Ltd. Winona, One res fruit and nursery stock. A Vities, Smith 600 ac . o King Bug Killer The Better Insecticide, Fungicide and Fertilizer A Quick and Sure Death to the Insect Prevents Blight Stimulates the Plant Through the Leaf Guaranteed AT YOUR DEALERS Write us for Literature KING CALCIUM PRODUCTS CAMPBELLVILLE, ONT. PTT ee SS TERR mv oy ATE Y For Sunburn Minard's relieves the acute sting, and prevents the muscle restric. tion attendant on a bad sunburn, YOUNG WIFE STRENGTHENED After Taking Lydia E. an Pinkham's Vegetable Compound 'When 1 's Vi Bancrof took Lydia : . ompound' been 't, Ontario-- is E. Pink | about 8 year