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Tales of the recliner | This Is a true story, albeit some- what embellished | picked up a fantastic bargain at a yard sale this summer I saw a recliner that caught my atiention and because it looked so warm and inviting, 1 bought it This magnificent piece of leather furniture held a miniature imbedded on the inside of the left arm, What a find Souggling in, | tried the like bui- ton that said ESC. When | push ESC or Escape on my compuier, it gives me a chose OIF | went in a flash, flung across the room into a plant, head fist, legs and arms Mailing in the air, Y I guess ESC is put there because of he instantancous com- bustion thing we hear on the news about yard sale recliners. Putting'my clothes back 0n and, crawling in again, ripping leaves from my mouth, | said "be 4 spon, Helen, push another button and soe what happens." | MASS... Sounds imigresting Wf me. The moment | pushed the but ton, veloor things snapped across in frost of me, locking my arms, legs and 100 In, but allowing my head 10 be free. It was » seat belt of sorts. This way crazy. Why do | nood a seat bel? M00, | sce. MASS meant having my entire body massaged 0 vio lently that by the time the 40 minute cycle was over, I felt my place in life should have been a "whirl-a-gig" stuck in body's A was starting to feel this front lawn. Other ycpry things began 10 happ My kidneys h worked themselves 10 the outside of the body and remember I stone problem | had? . Dare | hit the bution that HT? Sure, give it a whirl... hi bit of a mess now, anyway. Ink gpot)d by Helen. 81Zdnne The heating clement worked. | was impressed. This was an older model, after all. THE sucker was ly working, but working very The few twits of hair on my head didn't molt, frizeled. | oe ae Lisle Orphan Annie. I oven had her eyes. But there are guardian angels after all. The ROTIS bution was broken, preventing those steel things that were tucked neatly in the guts of the machine from fip- ping me over and over, simulating. a chicken over & spel 1 happeg do got dizzy very casily Appliance Repair REFRIGERATION New § Used Parts kr the Handyman New | Used Appliances kor Sale BUY - SELL - TRADE ou wosoer 986-5312 DONNA | 1-7054828-1156 ' COUNTRY UPHOLSTERY. edi d) Nestleton (416) 986-4564 £ RON LEE « SEPTIC & MOLDING TANK PUMPING (416) 4340454 coming on. Frantically, | pushed ESC. Oops! Another np back into the plant. It came 0 may attention that this recliner was almost alive. In fact, this recliner was alive. Alive with caterpillars, the furry kind you can pat and comb and primp. They were everywhere, crawl. ing around the walls and ceiling, meandering up and down my arms and logs. Thevecliner had been sit- ting outside a few days and the fuer? lide creatures just found themselves a home 1 like taterpillars. They don't demand great things. But, as hard as | have tried, they don't sit up, beg. speak, purr or do all these neat things we expect from pets It's one of life's tude realities, | guess. You just can't train a cater: pillar Time marches on. It's been a few months pow and all those cute little creatures are back outside, ready 0 spread thew wings | may pave embellished shout the chair, but | can ase you the caterpillars were for real Next summer, when | have my yard sale, I'll bet you are wishing the recliner is out there front and ] contre, ready © sell Nope. Net 3 You know the feeling when find » good thing. You just can't let it go <ARTAy, UPHOLSTERY . 985-4357 * Recover 60 VANEDWARD DRIVE - UNIT § - PORT PERRY * J Restore * : soso s2. Si, Harvest NSS You'r€ A MATUREADULT WHER... Young at Heart By Joe Jlhansy po You FEEL |T NECESSARY _ To Show PICTURES OF Your CAT EVERYTIME You Buy PET Food. ° for the A 085-0715 60 Vandedward Or, "Unit #7, Port Perry CONSULTING - PROJECT MANAGEMENT - REPORTS Colin L. Kemp Prone (416) 986-4305 Fu wie) 986-5085 a UXBRIDGE TREE SERVICE: i wo) 8525313. bos Ce 852-7087 * Bucket Truck * Stung Removal * FULLY INSURED Warren Rohrer Minihoe & Landscaping Corifed landscape designer MINHOE SERVICE. dawns gv, pe dag, bcd de pun a. Mes 5318 Box 100, Nestieton, Ont LOB 1L0 WARREN ROMAER - ------ L