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Scugog Citizen -- Tuesday, July 9, 1991-19 4a The dreaded answering machine Ink Spot by Helen SlZanne There is nothing I hate more than phoning someone and getting. the answering machine. I'know they are convenient and necessary at times, but there is something about speaking on the phone to a machine that bothers me. I have an answering machine of my own, and it took me three tries before I could tape a message anyofte calling would understand. The usual messageais "Hi, thank you for calling. I can't come to the phone right now, but' if you leave your name and num- ber after the beep, I will get back 10 you as soon as I can. Have a great day." Sounds simple, doesn't it. It isn't. At least not for me. As Msoon as the machine starts whirring, I come out with "Hi, phone now, great name and please leave, I'm sorry." I even said "BEEP." I tried again. "Sorry for phoning, come back, can I leave your number and beep soon?" The third time I got it right, or at least presentable. Some people have a wonderful sense of humour when they record a message into a machine. One person answered by saying "Help, I'm a tiny person being held cap- tive inside this telephone. 1 want to reach out and toych someone; so when you hear the ¥ say the magic words to release me from my prison." Cute, but do you think I come with any magic words? Another person said "thank you for calling, but I can't come to the phone right now as I'm busy." The next sound -you hear after a few seconds is that of a toilet flushing. Or. how about the person who said "I'm not telling you if 'this is a recording. If you leave your name and I like you, I'll answer. If I.don't this is a recording." The most imaginative 'one [ heard was "Hello, thanks for call- ing Revenue Canada. We have gone over your 1989 tax form and there seems to be some discrepan- © cies in it which I am sure you are. aware. We will be in touch with you shortly." It seemed harmless enough until Revenue-Canada was inundated with calls from all«over Canada. . If Alexander Graham Bell 1s * watching from that great phone booth in the sky, he's got to be saying: "Wow, . with two tin cans and a rope, and look what happens." Adopt This young, female bearded collie has recovered nicely from a broken jaw suffered when struck by a car last month. The break was repaired at the Uxbridge Veterinarian Clinic with funds from the "doggle banks" at Pete's Pet Pantry and Happy Pet Foods help- ing to. pay the bills. She's grey and white In colour, has a great dl ition and Landscaping and Gardens TREE SERVICE UXBRIDGE FOREST GARDENS LTD. DAVID WATTS, B¥6c. 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PERRY REGIONAL RD. 8 & <r Reach Industrial Park 985-7005 G. Copithorn 985-8877 DURHAM RD 8 = v (KEN P MURRY) iscellaneous Services RON LEE SEPTIC & HOLDING TANK PUMPING Nestleton ~ Mobile (416) 986-4564 (416) 434-0454 is fine with children. She's looking for a new home now. For Information on how to adopt this pooch, call the Scugog/Uxbridge Animal Control Shelter at 985-9547. ki i r ) ™ Call 985-NEWS To Place Your Service Directory Ad ny the Scugog Citizen ) SERVICE DIRECTOR Loo] 01 1: [of (o] OFF: 11 [VO 1 LT 1] (1 6) NE GREEN APPLE Call 985-NEWS CABINETS To Place Your N Service Mrectory Ad Harvey J. 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