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' John B. McClelland Cathy Olliffe It did not come as a total surprise. last week to learn that Vicki Keith js hanging up her goggles to retire from marathon swimming, Keith has probably covered more miles in the water than any other human bging. But last week while trying to achieve an un-precedented triple crossing of Lake Ontario (that's 155 kilometres) she was pulled from the water suffering from severe stomach cramps and a few "moments Jater announced that this was her last marathon swim. Vicki Keith has been making waves and headlines since 1985 with her marathort swims (she owns something like 15 world records) and in raising money for disabled children. During the summer of 1988, she swam "all five Great Lakes, and some of her. other tonquests include Sydney Harbour, Catalina Channel and the Strait of June de Fuca. On some of her swims, she used the butterfly stroke exclusively. If you think the butterfly is as easy as the name sounds, jump in the old pool and try a few laps. Finally, she has had to pack it all in, Even though Vicki Keith seemed to get | media atefition when she took to the waler to raise money for Variety Village, the rest@f the year, she was almost ignoréd. She works as a motivational, speaker for industry and boards of educa- tion, For my. money, this 30 year old Kingston: native must rank as one of the best athletes ever in this country. Yet her . recognition factor could be put on a postage stamp compared {o that of, say, Wayne Gretzky. Walk down any street in Canada, say the name Gretzky and people know. instantly who you are talking about. Say the name 'Vicki Keith and, well, the response might be "isn't she a skier?" If we accept the fact that marathon Keith deserves to have the best pinned to her bathing suis. As far as athletes go, she's is in a classy herself, head and shqulders above everyone else. " Still with swimming, I have a nice view of Lake Scugog from the Citizen office on Water Street. During the long, hot spell the lake look mighty inviting. No wonder the beach at Palmer Park was packed. Iwas amazed 10 se¢ so many people in the water, swimming, splashing around and having a nice time. There's a sign on the beach (in plain view), that states clearly the water is not safe for swimming, , - The problem is-the bacterial content which during. the hot spell soared to four times the acceptable safe limits. I' wonder if all those people in the water knew they were swimming in that. The sign, put up by the Durham Region Health Services, which tests the water on a regular 'basis, doesn't specify why peo" ple should not go swimming. Maybe it should. High bacteria levels can cause all kinds of problems like infections to the ears, eyes, nose and throat, not to mention the gastro-intestinal system. I wonder how many people who "enjoyed" a swim ended up the next day at the doctor's office or in the emergency department, adding to the province's health care costs in the protess. Maybe the sign posted at the beach should be worded a tad more strongly. If my life was anything like my house- hold, I'd change my life. As it is, my house and garden are a mess. Twitch grass choked: the carrots to an untimely death' Actually, twitch grass has taken over the garden, leaving room only for tomato hornworms the size of garter snakes -and earwigs so big they look like refugees from the Florida everglades. It's gotten to the point where I am afraid of my garden. Corn rustles in a low, rasping chuckle. Dark shadows scuttle along nar- row gaps in the greeh. Slow, crunching, insectile jaws work patiently through the helpless plants. In the spring, my garden was my refuge from the world, a bright and shiny place with sunwarmed soil that felt good beneath my bare toes. I spent a lot of time there, and then, when the Citizen took away my'time, the garden turned its back on me like I had turned my back on it. Now it is an alien landscape. Rather like the inside of my house. When I say my house is a mess, I am not playing the coy wife who says, "Ooo, but my house is a méss" and might not have dusted that day. Oh please. These * people don't know what 'mess' is. My frignd Monique, the ownel of a local cleaning] business. called 'Grandma's Company', knows what 'mess' is. 1 was complaining to her ope day about my messy house and my garden from hell, and she asked if she could use my house 'as a training ground for poten- |* Y tial gleaners she might hire. "Your houge better be messy," she said. "I hate it ws women say, 'ooh, my house is a mess' and it isn't." I reassured her of thé multi- .tudinous dirt. So, one fine morning, she had a fow ladies over to 'test clean'. Afterwards she popped into the office and agreed that,' yes, my house really is a mess. "Can I use .it again? It's the perfect house," shie said. "It's really messy." I was so embarrassed. When I got home, the bathtub sparkled. The stovetop gleamed. The sink shone. My heart leapt with joy. It was miraculous to'see these three things so in- control. So clean, So perfectly in order. . Thank-you, Monique, for the test-clean. And for the little bit of sanity it has given me. MysrEr vy 4 =| UN8ILVED Like "if you swim here, you're sy in you-know-what." That might get their attention, BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY....... The scientif- ic world got a surge of excitement last week when a team of British astronomers &fhounced the discovery of a previously unknown planet. . If the discovery can be confirmed, it will mark the first time a planet outside Qur solar system has been found. This one is orbiting a star some 30,000 light years from earth. Yawn, ho-hum, big deal, you say. That was my initial reaction as well. Don't we have enough problems right here on planet earth that science could be working on? Like hunger, Syn is an athletic ac lish t has no equal, I have often wondered why we don't see Keith on the ube selling orange juice or milk or a popular soft drink or sneakers or bathings suits or whatever. Aside from the fact she has raised close to $1 million for disabled kids, which is remarkable in itself, her accomplishments in the water merit some kind of national recognition, now that she's retiring. I don't know what medals they have up in Ottawa for "super humans." But Vicki Of course, we have horrendous problems on earth that must be solved and solved soon. But scientists can't quit all exploration, There have been human, social, economic and political problems dogging the human race for cen- turies. That must never stop the quest for new knowledge, be it scientific or otherwise. In fact, scientific discoveries such as the discovery of that far-away planet may prove to the salvation of the planet we call Earth. Where would we be if Galileo, Newton, Pasteur, Baiting or Einstein had thrown' in the towell just because the world around them was. in a mess? ! ' This happy family (they're actually smiling -- that's rare In old photos) would be a lot happler If someone could identify them. Can you help? There are many, many unidentified photos at Scugeg Shores Museum, and curator Gail' Sheridan would love, some day, to have them all properly identi- fied. To.give her a hand, the Citizen will print a different 'unsolved mystery' each week, in the' hopes some of these marvellous but mysterious people .will have names once again. If you think you can solve this week's unsolved mys- tery, call Gail at the museum -- 985-3589. 'SNAPSHOT OF THE WEEK Marna [p | hear from you. their minds. Send us your favorite snapshots -- - of your family, your pets, your vacation, whatever photo you've taken and you're proud of! Citizen staffers will select their favorite snaps and run them in this space. Then, at the end of the year, we'll rave a panel of judges choose their favorite picture, and the phétographer will win a brand new 35mm camera. Our address is 36 Water St., Port Perry. FTER Is something bugging you? Or are you thrilled about something? Whatever's on your and after 5 p.m. weekdays and for Scugog', and more than any- thing, we want to give our read- ers a voice to say whatever's on Hours', an after-hours tele- phone hotline, which records! your 'live' letter to the editor. QURS and write, Simply dial 985- NEWS anytime before 9 a.m. all the time on weekends. Our After Hours answering plimachine will record your ! message (keep it a'reason- + able length). Then we'll tran- Our motto is 'A Proud Voice scribe your call and publish it in our After Hours column. Please include your name and phone number. No anony- mous messages will be printed. Like other newspapers, we The phone number won't be welcome letters to the editor, but to make it even easier for| readers, we've started 'Afte published, b but we will call yon After Hours is even easier If you're too busy fo sit down than it sounds. So call us!