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ET TRIS 5 TG EOIN TTR, = con MAMA a. I TA Have ,' You Heard? ' Enemy at the Manoeuvres--"You are my prisoner," Sergeant Binks--"Nonsense! did you get here?" = Enemy-----"Qver the bridge," Bergeant Binks--"Then, my dea¥ fellow, you are drowned. We blew up that bridge yesterday!" How After its warfare with Dillinger this country can dare any nation to tell ug we are unprepared --"Roch- ester Democrat." : _REALISM! Mother believed "n appealirg to her children rather than punishing them. One day when Temmy had been par- ticularly fractious she said: "If you are going to be naughty, Tommy, you'll make mother poorly, and she'll die and be taken to the cemetery." : Tommy hugged her, "May I sit beside the coachman?' he asked. GOOD ELF. "Now," said the teacher, "what is an elf?" The boy responded: "Pleas2, Miss," he said, "it's what we usually 'ave at our 'ouse when we 'ave Christmas parties, and Uncle Jack raises his glass and says, "Ere"s 'elf.' Smedley Butler says the Japanese have originated nothing in the milit- ary art, We believe, though, they were the first to "launch a defensive." Diner: "What on earth is thie broth made from, waiter? Surely it isn't chicken broth?" Walter: "Well, sir, it's chicken broth in its infancy. It's made out of the water the eggs were boiled in." i Father (doing crossword puzzle) -- "Vat is another word for srake wid five letters?" Ikey--"A viper." "You silly! Thal's a handkerchief." Sadie--Did you hear about tbe holo- caust in Chicago? ~ Susie--No, hut I'm going back to the Fair this summer and s.e every- thing or know the reason why. A man must be very rich to for- get he has a son at college, B A young man from the Soulh went to spend his holldays wita some friends in Yorkshire. He cought a chill in travelling and' was ccnfimed to bed. His hostess thought she would give her visitor a treat during his confinement, so she baked a York- shire pudding and took fit upstairs, "Just try this," ghe said, "ill shift your cold." Then she left him. Going up some time later she inquired, "Well, have ye "etten it up?" "Eaten it? Eaten it?" gasped the visitor. "No, I'm wearing it on my chest," At the conclusion of the afternoon Scripture Lesson, Teacher said, "Now then, stand up all those children who wish to go to Heaven." All the scholars 'rose--with the ex- ception of Tommy Brown. "But, surely, Tommy," Teacher sald, surprised, "you want to go to Heaven?" 3 "Oh, yes, miss," Tommy s8ajd, "but Mother said I was to be sure and go straight home from school!" . A man was leaving a hospila: after 8 long illness, and was tryicg to ex- press his gratitude to the sis*er of the ward for her great kindness, "I shall never forget what ycv have done for her," he sald warm'y, "You have been really wonderful, and I have thought many times that you must truly be a fallen angel." "Look here, yourg man," sald the playwright father, "this report does not say very nice things abut your work at school." "Coming up in the train, dad, I was reading about the play you had pro- duced last night, and--" "Better. have your tea, young fel- low." [] Building Owners of U.S. Are Warned Toronto, -- Frank 8, Slosson. the president of tLe National Association ) Building Owners and Managers, warned delegates to the association's convention that they must c¢>operate If the industry is to continue econo- mically in the 'ownership operation and development of the real estate in- vestments, At the opening of the second '(ay's business, Mr, Slossqn reported. on the results of his recent trip to Washing: ton, where he brought the special problems of the association before au- thorities dealing with 'provisions of the NRA code, MOUNTAINEERS GATHER BARK The gathering of bark fom oak Irees: for use in leather tanneries is Mm important industry in the moun- tains of North Carolina, pe Former London Waif is Host | Of Theatre's Queen During 90's HOLLYWOOD--Forty years ago Mrs, Patrick Campbell was the toast of London, Qutside the theatre gath- ered the hoi pollol, to touch the hem of royalty's garment. Among the throng was a six-year. old waif from Lambeth who scamper- ed across the Wesuminster bridge at night "Just to smell the: perfume of the ladies as they passed into the theatre," @ : So it was a memorable occasion this week when the former wall, now the world's greatest comedian, entertained Mrs. Campbell at a din- ner party, It was the first time they bad ever met, Mrs, Campbell was fascinated, Charlie Chaplin was inwardly stir- red, 4 Inspired by the great lady's trans. parent admiration, Chaplin was at his best. He re-enacted a recent Jewish play, speaking what seemed to be Yiddish., He did imitations and impersonations, and ended by putting on a wig and playing a classic Japanese drama, "In heaven's name," sald Mrs. Campbell in amazement, "where did you learn Japanese?" "I know no foreign language, but I know the music of mest of them," Charlie replied, The Praying Mantis In many warm countries there is a queer-looking insect which goes by the name of the praying maxtis, or soothsayer. The former name was given to it oecause the first. pair of legs which spring out of the front part of the body are generally held in such a way as to suggest that the creature is putting its hands tegether in prayer. . Its scientific name of iantis, which means soothsayer, or diviner, was given because the insect was sup- posed to be endowed with strange powers. If a child lost its way and asked the mantis the direction of its home, the insect was believed to point to the right road with. its outstretched legs. We know better than this now, and merely regard the mantis as a very interesling insect hecsuse of its strange form and habits, So far from heing devoul and gentle, as ite praying hands suggest, it is quite a hypocrite among insects. It is one of the most savage and bloodthirsty of insects. It lies in wait for its prey, and when an unsuspect- ing insect alights near by, the man- tis, with slow and stealthy steps, moves towards it, and suddenly its forelimbs shoot out and the victim is caught and rushed, - At once it begins to tear its prey to pieces with its strong jaws, and then, when the meal is done, the man- tis again puts its iegs together in the attitude of prayer, as though saying grace after meat, while it piously waits for its next victim. Making Books Live ; For many years librarians, pub. lfshers and authors have labored long and in vain trying to find out why leather-bound books should dlginteg- rato so rapidly, The problem has baffled the entire book world for ages. Various reasons have been put for- ward in an attempt to explain the matter. Some have sald it was due to insects, Others have suggested that dampness may have caused the trouble, while certain literary critics have cynically stated that poetic jus- tice alone was responsible, -It now appears that all these conjectures were wrong, N In England, recently, chemical ex- perts, carrying out some interesting experiments, have solved the mys- tery, They selected twu bnoks -- one from the royal library at Buck- ingham Palace, and ons from the library at Windsor Castle, The Buck- ingham Palace selection was a- vol ume of Disraeli's letters, while the book taken from Windsor was an edi- tion of Lord Salishury's ietters, The investigators found that the one with the leather cover which had rested on the shelves of the city lib. rary was in a state of powdery de- creptitude, while the one that had enjoyed the benefits of a pure, rural existence at Windsor had remained in a vigorous and unwrinkled state of preservation. This seemed very mystifving at first, although a literary critic ex- pressed the opinion that Disraeli's letters would naturally pulverize a a book cover more rapidly than any- thing Lord Salisbury ever wrote. This view, however, was discarded by the chemical experts as en'irely irrele- vant, : After much laboratory work, Fara- day Innes, a descendant of the fam- ous Michael Faraday and himself a noted chemist, was able to prove that the poor condition of the city-dwell- ing book cover was due to the sul: phuric acid it had absorbed from the smoke-laden London atmosphere which the Windsor volume had not been subjected to. Mr. Innes also 'Decrease in Bankruptcy Re- with 16 in the same month last year, stated that there were certain chemi- cal ingredients which could he used when dyeing leather that would re- sist the destructive atmoephere of any city, thus guarantezing the life of a leather cover indefiaitoly, ' 'This means that from now on every book published can be mads to last for centuries, A valuable eontribu- tion indeed to the world of letters. No more disintegration! No more pulverization! It is a staggering thought. But in reality Mr, lnne'sd solution only touches the (ringe of the problem. What we now need is for him to apply his genius lo the discovery of some method by which the contents of a book may be guar- anteed to live as long as its cover.-- The Christian Sclence Monitor, The Seeing Heart One grand, invaluable secret there is, however, which includes all the rest, and, what is comfortable, lies clearly in every man's power: To have an open, loving heart, and what follows from the possession of such, Truly it has been said, em- phatically in these days ought to to be repeated: A loving Heart is the beginning of all Knowledge. This it is that opens the whole mind, quick- ens every faculty of the intellect to do its fit work, that of knowing; and therefrom, by sure consequence, of vividly uttering-forth, Other secret for being "graphic" is there none, worth having: but this is an all- sufficient one. See, for example, what a small Boswell can do! Hereby, in- deed, is the whole man made a living mirror, wherein the wonders of this ever-wonderful Universe are, in their true light (which is ever a magical miraculous one) represented, and re flected back on us. It has been said, "the heart sees farther than the head:" but, indeed, without the sece- ing heart, there is no true seeing for: the head so much as possible; all is mere oversight, hallucination. and vain superficial phantasmagoria, which can permanently profit no one.--Thomas Carlyle, in "Essay on Biography." Assignments Show Decline ports Shown At Ottawa Ottawa, -- A substantial decrease was shown in liabilities and also in the number of assignments under the Bankruptcy and Winding Up Acts in April, as compared with the corres- ponding month of last year, says a re- port issued by the Dominion Burea of Statistics, mmercial fai 8 in April numbered flities of $2,009,381 and compares with 184 as- signments and liabilities of $3,022, 466 in April 1933. All areas showed de- creases with the exception. of British Columbia where an increase of one was shown, In the Maritime provinces there were eight assignments in comparison while in Quebec the failures number- ed 68, and in the Prairie provinces there were 13 as compared with 20 in April 1933. In British Columbia, the only area to show an increase, there were seven as compared with six in the corresponding month last year, Now, Henry, give me a kits and you shall have a penny," ,"No good to me," said Heury with disdain. "I can get twop'nce for taking castor oil." -------- | i Moving the Nation's Freight | cl) ' % $y 2 ro m gy LL [EAKIONT) : 1 ATi900 A ) A i IM - : / fii HE RRAS = : Ne The facilities offered by the new door-to-door freight service in certain zones ,in the East and reeently pro- vided in the threo prairie provinces, is making a distinct appeal to large shipping «houses and the. ~amaller shippers who for some time past have made use almost exclusively of high. Ae 7 ry A ways, Canadian National officials re- port that this economical door-to-door form: of transporting goods is pro. viding a stabilized freight rate struc- ture throughout the country, The railways, {In this innovation, are utilizing cartage facilities to amplify their rall service. > TURRET [27% FINE CUT CIGARETTE TOBACCO We Recommend "CHANTECLER" or "VOGUE" Cigarette Papers {oo ER HANDS Reading in Bed . Bad for Eyesight Never Work in Twilight or Any Light But the Best Among the hundreds of women who come to him for help, only a few really do right by their eyes, declar- es a famous oculist. The others, he sometimes remarks, must spend a good part of their days thinking up ways to harass and dull the orbs that should glow and sparkle with beauty. : No one really means to hurt her eyes, but such a negative attitude is not enough. We must take def- inite steps to give them the care that will prolong their service to use and at the same tim¢ make them better- looking." The girl who rcads in ted is one of the worst offenders against both eye-health and ecye-beauty. Not that anybody would wish to discourage so pleasant a Fabit. But as usual, there are right ways and wrong ways to go about it. Be sure that you choose the right way. First, look to your light. See that it is bright, but not too bright, that it is shaded so that no glare is thrown into your eyes and that a steady, even gleam fails upon the book, The best position for it is fastened to the bed just over your head. If it is on a bedside table, the bulb should be higher than your head and arranged so that your page will not be shadow- ed. In bed you should sit, not lie, comfortably against your pillows, so that your eyes may traverse the page without strain, When they feel tired after you have been writing, reading or sewing for a while, close 'hem for a few minutes and let your imagination picture distant hills and mountains at which to gaze. Never read or work in twilight, or in any light but the besl. Bathe your eyes night and morning with a re- liablé=eye wash, such as a teaspoon Lodaic dissolved in a pmt of warm vater, Kéep your eye-cup clean and never use one used by someone else. Do not form nervous habits of rub- bing your eyes. If a particle of dirt 'gets into them, wash them and be careful not to irritate by rubbing. Calf Has Three Eyes Two Mouths, Tongues Winstead, Conn,, -- A freak calf, having three eyes,'two mouths, two tongues and two sets of nostrils, was born-'on the farm of John Peyre ap- peared strong and destined to live. The third eye Is set in the centre of the forehead, Two ,well-shaped mouths appeared on = either side of where the mouth usually is located and the tongues and nostrils function geparately. New Titles Moscow--DPhysical prowess is to be rewarded hercafter in the Soviet Un- fon by titles and decorations equal to those given scientists, writers and po- litical and military leaders. The title of "Master of Sport" was Ask Mother-= She Knows Mother took this medicine bee fore and after the babies cames It gave her more strength energy when she was nerve ous and sundown ; 3: kept her on the job: all through the Change, No wonder she rece ommends it. : Nin PINKHAM'S VEVEMBLE COMPOUND Issue No. 27--'34 I conferred recently upon Jakov Melin- kov, skating champion; Mickall But- usov, football champion; Alexel Max- umov, long distance running champ- lon; Maria Shamanova, light athletics champion; Alexander Rizhov, shoot- Ing champlon; and Dmitri Vasiliev, champion ski jumper. Mental sport won recognition when the title of master was conferred up- on Peter Romanovsky, famous chess player. Discards Wig London, Eng. -- It is all most unus- ual--even irregular, . Lord Merrivale, that famous judge actually discarded his wig in court last week. The most dignified police in the world, as represented by the bobbies at Rochester, discarded their tunics and directed traffic in their shirtsleeves, As England steamed through a hu- mid day with no rain in right to re- lieve the country-wide drought, 500 poiice arme] with birch brooms guar- ded the Ascot heath and raze-course from the danger of fire. The Prince on His 40th Birthday On June 23rd, the Prince cf Wales was 40. Clair Price, writing fn the New York Times Magazine lias sever- al comments to make, one which reads "A 40th birthday which £rds the Prince still content with his bachelor existence in York House cannot help but be another of the persisting re- minders of the war. If th@1e had been no war, no doubt everything would have been very different, not only for the first of the Kirg's 450, 000,000 subjects, but for all the rest of the 450,000,000 too. No doubt, long before this, there would hove been a Princess of Wales, and Maiiborough House wouid have been a social centre second in brilliance only to buckjng- ham Palace itself." She continues: --*Since the war the Prince has been hammered iittle by little back toward the*mormal course of his life, After a fling ot insati- able restlessiess which has made him the most. travelled Frince in Europe, he has given up iravelling and has settled down at hoc. After risking his neck in polo, huniirg and point-to-point racing, he har accept- ed a question in the House of Com- mons as a peremptory order and has given up those, too. ' Drives Own Car. "More and more he puts his Peter Pan years behind him and becomes the serlous citizen. More ano more he takes on the sober coloring of his father. But he still tticks to York House in the west wing of the group of mellow old brick buildings known as St. James's Palace "Having accepted the tradlijon he spends his time (except the few hours when he is asleep) in a kind of perpetual standing to attention be- foro the country, the Cabinet and the King. Whether he is laced into uni- form, covered with decorat'crs and standing calm nnd straight confront- ing a crash of cheering with lic hand motionless on the hilt of his sword, or in a plain business suit i3 standing with the Mayor behind the potted palms of a provinzial platform, con- fronting the same crash' of cheering and fingering his tle in. a litfle man- nervousness 'but is now only an un. conscious playing up to the stirred emotions of his audience, he embod- ies the tradition of British wonarch- fsm with complete mastery of him. self, "But something in him, psrhaps a bit of his native obstinacy, it.pels him to put off the roses and ttorng to the last possible moment, Kven at 40, he drives himself home to York House in his own two-seater nd lets himself in with hia own !ofchkey; and the old splendors have never come back to Marlborough House, | 1925, nerism which used to betray genuine The great mansion in the trees re- mains as cold and dark as tha tomb. Still Waiting, One of the most remarkabie man- sions in London, Marlborougin House Is so vast that when Wren bullt it In 1709 for the great Duko of Marl borough and his Sarah, it completely eclipsed "Neighbor Georgeu" estab. lishment in St. James's Palace next door. Its most brilliant memories are those of Edward VII and Afcxandra as Prince and Princess of Waies, for it was theirs from the date cf their marriage in. 1863 «down to Victoria's death in 1901, and to this day It is stuffed to bursting point with a red- plushy Edwardian magnificeus ¢, "It was there tha! the present King was born, there that he and the present Queen lived as Price and Princess of Wales during the ten years of hig fatier's reign. "twas there that Alexandra retuned as Queen Mother in 1910. A, a bride and as a widow, she lived 'fore for more than half a century; and to the average Londoner the great house is still filled with her mencry. "As soon as she died vere in the Government got nto the old place and put in a year's work thoroughly modernizing it 1m the Prince's occupancy The Queen her self took charge of the furnishing of his personal suite on the tiyet floor up; and officers for staff were made ready on the ground floor, "Presumably the Prince's suite is still ready ara waiting; but ths cannot aow ba raid either of London in general or of Pall Maii in par. ticular, tor both of then gave up waiting years ago. For b'ter or worse, a bachelor Prinre in York House has long been part of tae ac. cepted order of things." Bonus Helps South Aftican Fruit I'armers Report Good Profits MONIYREAT--South African fruit farmers know very weli indeed that theirs is a happy, hapry land. C. IL. Coltman, citrus fruit. grower of the eastern Cape Province is satisfied of this particularly since he and Mrs. Coltman have begun to realize that there: are comparatively few fruit growers of other countries making round the world trips fer pleasure in these arduous times. "We're well off," he admitted when interviewed in the Queen's Hotel here recently, "because our fruit exports are still being bonuscd by the Gov- ernment, And from private inform- ation [ received a few days ago the bonusing will continua for some time to come." South,Africa, he explained, bonused the Empire export of fruits and other farmers' products during the time when England went off the gold standard awd most of the Dominions followed suit. South Africa, great gold producer as she was, remained on the gold standard for a year longer. During this time her farmers found themselves unable to scll abroad be- cause of -their gold hasis costs, and hence the South African government established a system of bonusing ex- ports to make up the difference bet- ween the Scuth African production STOPS ITCHING In One Minute D.D.D. Prescription Speeds Reliel For quick relief from 'the itching of pimples, mosquito or other insect bites, eczema fashion an) other skin Sroptions, . apply Dr. nis' "pure, cooling, liquid, antiseptic D. D orty . D, D. Prosceiftion. years' world-wide success. Penetrates the skin, soothing and healing the inflamed tissues, No fuss -- no muss, Clear, grease- less and stainless--dries up almost imme- diately, Try D. D, D, Prescription. Nope the most intense itching instantly, A 3 trial bottle, at any drug store, is guaran- teed to prove it--or money back, D.D. D, is made by the owners of ITALIAN BALM, costs and those of the rest of the world, The bonuses have been maintained despite the fact that South Africs also is now off the gold standard, and they make all the difference betweer good profits and none to the produce of that Dominion. One other thing that is excellent in his home country was noted by Mr, Coltman in the coursa of his voyage," "I' used to complain about our South African trains," ne said, "but I'll never @lo so again after travelling or the American lines. We have hol weather (oo, but our cars are wider and you get a large and private com- partment to yourself very easily." Mr. and Mrs. Coltman ave sailing to Engiand shortly. 13) The Password Is Quality in Poultry Canada Following Up Her Good Work in Al Exports "IE Canada is going to get i's share of the British trade in pealivy, in ba- con, in live eatile, or in any other of its agricultural products, the value and necessity of doing thins beter, not worse than compeiitors must he regarded as all-important" said Mr. W. A, Wilson, Canadian Government Animal Products Trade Commissioner in London, England, during his pres. ent visit to the. Dominion. "We made a good reputation with our first <hip- ment of turkeys, because the quaity was there and they were graded and packed according to government standards. The British trade responds to work well done, There is the mar- ket for Canadian poultry and other products and the password Is Quality. "The season for exporting pooltry to Britain should be designed for the 12 months of the year. Buvers over there do not want to chanve their L source of supply if they can be as- sured of the demand being met at all times." "Canada should follow the=sama policy in"tonnection with the present opportunity open for the export of dressed chickens as it has done with turkeys exported to Britain for the 1032 and 1933 Christmas trade, 'The 1,000,000 pounds of turkeys shipped in 1932 were 100 per cent. as to quality, In 1933 they were not quite so good as the previous year but this was due to com" unusual diflicalties asshHeiated with the shipping and are sarmount- able. Turkeys for the British Christ. mas trade must reach the buyers at least week before Christmas day." ) one Ottawa, -- Relief operations in de- partment of national defense camps for single unemployed men in all parts of the Dominion cost approxi- mately $1,521,000 for April, Mav and June, 1934, it was stated in an order- in-council tabled in the House of Come mons. 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