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PRT ALS nT ar Bw al. vm wa 1 4 EAI TY STR AA TN "re i TO PRR SE > 5a Rie LER TERRIA RE ERR ABTA PRT. CN He AOR STE I Pr Pe] JUST IN FUN Don't Worry The head of the house was read- ing a newspaper article very care- fully. When he had come to the end he remarked to his wife: "Do you know, dear, [ think there's something in what this article says --that the cleverness of the father often proves a stumbling-btock to the son." His wife heaved a sigh of relief. "Well, thank goodness," she said, "our Bobby won't have any- thing to fall over!" Pick Another The sea was calm and the cap- tain decided it would be a good time to satisfy the cabin boy's de- sire to take the helm. He pointed out thk North Star to the boy, and gave him explicit directions to steer Telling Him "I want a word of advice," the young man remarked to his uncle. "Well?" said Uncle tersely. "What is the best way to ap- proach you for a loan." "If you are sensitive," replied Uncle, grimly "you hsd better write for it. Then when you get my reply just (tear it up without reading it." Misunderstood Counsel for the defence was cross-examining a wit ess. "You have accounted for your movements in the early afternoon and evening," he said, "so will you please tell the Court what you were doing ir. the interim?" "I didn't go there," replied the THIS CURIOUS WORLD ee ---- F we BVER TRAVEL TO THE MOON, WHICH AT ITS NEAREST POSITION [S STILL. R21, 000 MUES AWAY,,, WELL HAVE ATMOSPHERE ONLY FOR THE FIRST JOO AMUESS \ THE SUFFIX "KILL; COMMON IN EASTERN AMERICAN NAMES; MEANS WHAT D VOICE OF THE PRESS \ Definition A boarding house has been de- fined as a place where hot water comes out of the cold tap, and cold water comes out of the hot tap, and nobody ever comes out of the bathroom. -- Peterborough Examiner, Good News for Stingers Mosquitoes, bees, sand flies and just ordinary house and horse flies, were no doubt delighted with the style announcement that bare mid- riffs were to be the vogue for young ladies at summer resorts. --St. Thomas Times-Journal. Smart Fellows A Tokyo paper reveals that the average Jap makes $120 a month and spends $200, which shows how darn'd clever those people are at Keep Tham Busy Judge Joseph Wearing says the need today is a sane, modern method of dealing with juvenile crime. Greater. use of the strap and shorter prison terms were sug- gested. The suggestion may be all right from a prison angle but the real way to cub juvenile crime is to start with the parents and then keep the youtls so busy at con- trolled activities they will not have tne for crime, -- London, Ont, lcho. Not To Be Caught The young politician stood ilash- ed v'th pride and happiness as his friends gathered about him to congratulate him upon his nomina- tion to the state legislature. "Were you surprised when they nominated you?" a friend inquired, TO BE POPULAR as a hostess, serve Maxwell House Coffee. It contains choice 'Latin-American coffees . . . the finest ob tainable. It's blended by experts with traditional 4 Ou R= " p . . 3 ] : wy Pn cclai a -80- . d toward it all the time, nervous witness, "I was in the catching onto the white man's sys- I a Lhe J knowledge and skill, i 4 oy 'hi ; thi y 73 : " , > . d - (IA hor 8 Shite everything vent drawing room all the time. $ CHRIS tem, --Ottawa Citizen prised that my acceptance speech Bs > v tint hha Yt Cg Yai EWSON, ) ' nearly fell out of my hand." 4 Fate bd BO Is culty. aptain, ne ,, Mew Yor Grant Dreher -- Wall Street Journal, NI © called "I've passed that star, will Rather Breezy ONCE.WALKED /4! 847 72/45 Heel Marks TR you please come and pick out an- other?" - IN A SINGLE GAME... AND We all make footprints in the Warth Disgrace He was once the black sheep of the family, When he had won success he presented himself at home again. He told his father how Fortune ) had smiled on him; he was earning The admirul was examining his youngest officer's knowledge of nautical matters. "Suppose, young man," he rap- ped out, "you were in charge of this ship and steaming slowly up the Ganges when you received a wireless message reporting a cy- clone at sea. \What would you do?" The young man, somewhat flus- ONCE WENT 68 /NAV/ANVG.S WITHOUT WALKING ANY" 7 Y. M.REQ.U. 8. PAY, OFF ANSWER! It means "creek, river, or stream." in Dutch. U. S. ADMIRAL sands of time. But some leave th imprint of a great soul, others the marks of a heel. -- Edmonton Journal. A Good Rule Another good rule for motorists to observe is that pedestrians ghould be scen and not hurt. Faster' Than Nylons A Newark woman wouldn't come out of a burning house be- cause she couldn't find her stock- ings. 'The firemen, though, had plenty of hose, so she was rescued. -- Guelph Mercury. And Find It ed Wie of pa HORIZONTAL Answer to Previous Puzzle 10 Ascetic. Kingston WilgSuandard Some men go about looking for Sued Pee: iD cried his bi 8 ainiere + 14d drop an 1 Pictured U. S. E|S[S OR 11 His headquar- } temptation to yield to. 12 257 DROS ? chor, sir. } R admiral, ---- 1 [SIENET ters are in CT Brandon Sun father. 'Supposing you received another --_ Jr i ---- Zealand. Sure Bet alii; Ou Cone iS as, | ne han hove es te or mr | TER SRE 22 ese. TT : . ! . ¢ s £ a (abbr.) Sle 21 Negative word by an expert grower in Wyoming. i "The family can stand a lot of dis- would you do then?" 12 Dines. 23 At this time. And i : height, ther Ay grace for thae" : "I--I'd drop another anchor, 13 Admit. : L 25 Miaow. on pen = " I. pi i. iy AW sir." 14 From. ¢ 27 Degree. wi JC Salig mgt to . oO] ] oO it. : Jt Verified The admiral looked far from sat- 16 Half an em. SITIAITIE] © 29 Operatic air. Windsor Sur Lh \ isfied. 17 Encourage. 30 He won Te ' EAR BARONESS fi i op : Ko - Mrs, Jones was very proud of "But suppose it was ten times 18 Interdiction. victories in Kurds and Way 1; her son, who showed promise as an worse than that. What would you ke ORZY the qd The office punster wants to AY athlete. doz" 20 ny (abbr) [el 1) rid 31 pov s know more about these Kurds in a, "Yes, he must be a very fast The young man strove despair- : odo ; Iran, and their whey of life. 8 2 ; : . . ; 22 Lesser. 32 Kind of dog. , ; runner," she explained proudly to ingly to think of something bright. 45 Ask alms. 24 Leave out. VERTICAL 26 Over (poet.). 46 Street (abbr.) 1 Decrease. 28 Fabulous bird. 47 Toward. 29 Monkey. 48 Entangle. 30 Persian 51 Pound (abbr.) governor. 53 Rifle. 33 Twisted 55 Either, worsted yarn. 56 Whirlwind. (abbr.). 49 Dry. 36 Upon. 57 Cercal grain. 4 Article. 50 Festival. 37 Collar button. 59 South Dakota 5 Active. 51 Missing. 33 Vehicle. 34 Female sheep. 2 He is one of 35 Tales. the U. S. 38 Perform. naval in 39 Myself. the Pacific. 42 Is (Latin). 3 Labrador 45 Morass. i i 3 -- Stratford: Beacon-Herald,, a neighbor. "Look at this news- At last he whispered: "I'd--I"d paper report of the sports yester- drop another anchor, sir." day. It says he fairly burned up "Good Heavens!" roared the ad- the track. miral, "where the deuce do you "And it's quite true," she added. - get all the anchors?" confidentially. "I went to sce the "And where the deuce," the jun- track this morning, and it's noth- ior officer flung at him desperate- ing but cinders." ly, "do you get all the wind?" Wrong Method You can't straighten out the guy by hammering at him --that only flattens him out. , THE SPORTING THING 39 Servant. (abbr.). 6 Devastation. 52 Diminish. Chance for 8,000 i LIFE'S LIKE THAT By Fred Neher 40 Us. 60 Period of 7 Affirm. 54 One who uses. We read that 8,000 Ontario i 41 Alkaline darkness. 8 Land parcel. 56 Electrical unit farms are vacant. And yet there ve) i solution. 62 Rocks. 9 His planes 582000 pounds. are people who <ay that this is no 43 Self. 64 Circular roof. -- to attack 61 Proceed. longer a land of opportunity. We 44 Age. 65 Singing voice. Jap ships. 63 Negative should be interested to see what l 2 3 a 5s | Je 17.18 19.1 To. immigrants from Belgium; Nor- & RE EE a wy and Denmark would do with ; ) | El I 5 12 413 77 a is those farm, 3 eds 2 iA -- Peterborough Examiner. ? HAND iad 1] KA IT 16 - gn ? 7 44% : : 2. - le - $ Kilts Remain 20 # 20 a x2 ni 2 We expected that to happen. 3 C2 oer "or ih Defence Minister Abbott has an- . 27 id ° es nounced that the kilt will continue SN , {4 to be authorized for walking out | " 30 131 v4 ve cect 33 3% 35 | purposes, but that battle-dress will ! ol P2A , be used for operational duty; so | a0 ) 3 : } 7) . | the picturesque dress will remain | . v. to please ail Scots and those who Konth like it, VO -- Niagara Falls Review 0s 55 Cl 1 9 4 5. oy il Slap Them Into Jail RES A black-market butter dealer In E N Montreal was fined $1,000. That is 5 N°. ; X AY, 7 y 3 a 3 ull very well, bit a fine alone is I : a : 2 63 not enough for those who make ry SS ---- : . a dirty profit for themselves out n fe , rr of the butter shortage and obstruct va ? ~ Hews Janinrens $ 5 official efforts at even distribution. Pi . a . --Ottawa Journal, LY (EA "There's only one steak left, sir . . . the chef had his eye on it, ae but he's willing to toss you for it!" (47% : Pg MOPSY byGLADYS PARKER r : ; ; «ih [~ ITSEE ON LOOK. HIM OVER THOROUGHLY, Ra Woh, TOR Drice, " YOOVE, PUT OUR DOCTOR, AND TELL ME THE. WORSY, ANE VASHED AND YOUR. TOYS AWAY AND ITS ALL TOO GOOD TO GN THE ONE THE LICENSE. * DEPARTMENT TOOK DIDN'T DO ME JUSTICE. ; TICIED UP CLOTHES ARE CLEAN! ~~ Com ii 7 ll ihn > : I I POP--Wrong Audience [NOT A BLINKING BENNY IN THREE AILES OF 'EMI By J. MILLAR WATT LTHEY DO THEIR OWN WHISTLING IN THIS BRIGADE | 5 x ee ET a ER nine MER FRE EAI LAL eA TAC AT ME SYMP SEY