Nancy, Don't Fret ELLIS K. BALDWIN 1 had just put little Caroline to bed, hoping she'd sleep through un- til morning. when shuffling down the sidewalk came Cus Olsen. 1 saw him before my young doctor: husband did. Gus was the first. half of a patent medicine testimonial before the great transformation, Hiseface resembled = cathedral gar goyle. His stomach ailment was kuown all over the town, still he swore he would never go to a doc- tor. "Not one of them would be able to help me," he boasted. When Guys retired from thé rail- road he took up his post on his porch, hailing every passerby to discuss his symptoms. Panicky, I should Charlie something that realized if prescribe didn't cure, Gus with his porch lec tures _ would spoil the doctor's chances for building a practice. "Charlie," I -said breathlessly, "I'll tell him you have an emer- gency. Go out and hitch up Dinah." I'd stopped counting the times Charlie harnessed the horse to roll out of the yard like he was headed for a fire. "It'sgexciting for the neigliborhood kids," Charlie would chuckle. Tt didn't mean a thing. The doctor was 'just putting on an act. Half an hour later you'd hear the crunch driveway. . Charlie was saying, "I'm fed up with whirlwind buggy rides. Be- sides, the neighbors are starting to wonder where I go." Gus was walking slowly, hunched over, hand on his stomach. I found. myself clinging to Charlic's* hand like a drowning woman, "Let go of me, darling," the doc- tor said almost angrily. "I must greet our new patient." I whispered desperately. "Dar- ling, you can't face this old .gos- sip." N Suddenly the doctor out, "Good evening, Won't you cone in?" It took Gus a long time to tell his story. I heard the doctor clear was calling Mr. Olsen. '""You've got me flabbergasted," Gus said. his throat a number of time while he let Gus recite his history. Then Charlie began using those long technical terms he'd been boning up on these nights when he held office hours and tio one came in.. "All of a sudden, I heard/ Gus shout an- grily, "Listen here, Doc, you can't tell me that." Goose pimples pop- ped out on my arms. Charlie couldn't afford to get Gus down on him. : ro Then Charlie's voice droned on scemingly unperturbed by Gus' shouting. From where I sat 1 couldn't make out what he was say- ing. It seemed hours before the office door swung open. "You're kind of young," Gus was telling the doctor. "Nothing seems to have 'helped me. Figured you couldn't put me through any more agony "but what, you've just said has got me flabbergasted." Gus moved off intp the night. The doctor didn't say anything. I stood it as long as 1 could, "Charlie, what did you give him?" "It's a tough case," the doctor - grunted, employing the deep bass notés he was learning to use. "Absolutely nothing., If you must know, I told him he was a hypo- chondriac. Told him there was ab- solute'y nothing wrong with him but if he didn't stop glutting him- self with all these patent medicines he shortly would turn into a medi- cine bottle." But all that was ycars ago. Now "the impatient honking of a" motor horn brought me tobogganing back down the years. Out at the curb was Caroline, a_grown weman now, ready to drive her father down to his office in 'the medical building. The office would be jammed be: cause Gas Olsen, focking steadily on his porch durifg the years, re- peated proudly again and again to his passing friends, "I'm a hypo- chopditic, yés sir, a hypochon-- driac." : Invariably he'd add. "If you got any bad symptoms and you want to know quickly what they are, there's . a young doctor down the street..." The End of the wheels on the' Start Collecting Now For Christmas Gifts Mothers, have your children been getting ready for Christmas? If you live in the country, or can reach it easily, there are many preparations tha. can be made in the autumn, When going for a walk, suggest that cach child carry a paper shopp- ing bag. On the first Arip they might secure acorns, to be made into Christmas-tree ornaments. Then, on stormy days, let the boys and girls take out their paints and color some of the acorns... Others could be covered with tinfoil and colored paper. If the acorns are not too ripe, it will be easy to pierce one end of cach with a needle, threaded with 'strong thread that has been doubled and knotted, and to draw the thread through the opposite end. When the thread is cut and tied it will form a loop with which to hang the ornament on' the tree. However, if thé acorns are to be covered with bright papr, instead of being paint- ed or covered with tinfoil, it is more satisfactory -to roll each paper covering in the form of a cylinder --tying the cylinder above and be- low the acorn and leaving a loop at one end. Cones for Fireplaces On another autumn day, che col- lection of cones might be the object of a getting-ready-for-Christinas trip. Cones are delightful those who have fireplaces. * The older children will enjoy making cheesecloth bags of vatrious colors for receptacles, The gift is more interesting when the cones have been treated. chemically so that, while burning, their flames show beautiful hues -- blues and greens -- like those of driftwood. If the cones have been treated chemically, do not allow the papers on which they have been dried to be destroyed ;ginstead, let the little folks roll them tightly and tie them into knots. These paper kiots' will' burn with the same bril- liant colors as the. cones. | Another. way to 'prepare this Christmas gift is one that can be done even by five-year-old children, but be sure to instruct cach child to finish one cone before beginning on another. First, the cone must be covered with shellac, then, while it is still wet, driftwood powder should be scattered -over it.. This powder is sold under different trade names, such as "Seafire" and "Drift- wood Glow." Christmas Bouquets There are many dry grasses, dry berries, and seed pods that when combined 'make pretty Christmas bouquets. she object of one more merry autumn trip. Advise against select- ing any that casily shed particles of any kind -- thus becoming an an- noyance instead of a joy to the re- cipient. Inexpensive scissors should be used for cutting, and only the older children should, carry those grasses that have delicate stems. - This carying should be understood to be an important responsibility gifts for the preparation-of-the-gifts:---- You will think of other country walks with Christmas in view. Baskets can be woven with grasses or rushes and later filled with nuts that the boys and girls have gather- ed. Or, the woven grasses may be formed into covers for glass jars and pots in which vines and hardy colorful living plants may be found in the woods long after winter has come to stay. Replanting Needed trees have been destroyed by fire, or cut with reckless abandon for fuel or lumber . . . If a largescale en, it would-repay the effort in" soil -and. water "conservation and gener- al" farm prosperity. Gathering these can be and a very definite contribution to For "a hundred years, tlie maple replanting of maples was undertak- Who Goes There?--These two peculiar 'looking juveniles are pileated woodpeckers. Their habits, and those of many others are being portrayed in pictures and lectures revealing many. little known facts of plant and animal life. ' Not long ago I saw a letter writ ten to a friend by a woman who had recently lost, through fire, her entire farm house and all its con- tents. Because there might be a valuable idea in it for some readers of this column, I'm going to repro- duce it in part. © _ * x x "The tire insurance company seemed anxious "to be perfectly fair," she wrote, "but the trouble was that I had no record of any of the smaller things in the home; 80 all we could do in the settlement was to accept a blanket rate for each room. Now, almost cvery day I miss something -- maybe some- thing small but still something I really need and have to buy, and _the total cost is running up.dread- fully. I feel sure that L.didn't get enough in settling with the insur- ance company -- but still it's no- body's fault but my own. * * * "So now," the letter goes on, "I am keeping an exact inventory of everything Jve own; and everything, - even if it costs only a quarter, goes on the list. What is more I keep the list in a place -where it is not likely to be destroyed by fire--in a glass fruit jar in a neighbor's basement." x 8 i One of the finest movements of its kind anywhere is the National Farm Radio Forum--the world's largest Radio Study Group Pro- gram which opens its ninth season on Monday, November 1st. Prob- ably you already know more about it than I do; but just in case you don't here are a few of the facts. For although last season there were no less than 1351 groups or Farm: Forums which met and reported regularly during the fall and win- ter--and although over 23,000 peo- ple belonged to them--there's still plenty of room for expansion. * * * The Forum 'is a listening-and discussion project designed espec ially for the farming people of the THIS CURIOUS WORLD , A By William Ferguson COPR. 1947 BY NEA SERV INC, RKWIZ_KORNER, Us Ten som ie: FAMO | IA 1S WHERE JR 15 THOUGHT TO HAVE BEEN NAAT SacaleA FOUND I SOUTHERN NDIA ABOUT J £ALo ALro J TM RE0. U. 8. PAT. OFF. : THEFARM FRONT Dominion. It is jointly sponsored by three non-political and non-profit organizations -- the Canadian. Fed- eration of Agriculture, the Cana- dian Association of Adult Educa- tion, and the Canadian Broadcast- ing Corporation, * « . The setup is extremely simple, ~ A group of neighbors agree to meet together once a week to listen to the National Farm Radio Forum broadcast. Then they discuss the topic of the broadcast, also how their problems can best be solved, and what appropriate action should be taken. * * * There's still time to start such a group in your neighborhood if there isn't already one- there. Get-in-touch with some of the neighbors and talk it over with them; then write to vour Provincial Forum secretary and ask him for the necessary study and informational material for each person expected to attend the meet- ing. Plenty of help will be forth- coming--Ifree of charge, of course --to assist you in getting started. And the place to write, here in On- "tario, js 71 King St. West, Toronto. * * * Being in something of a borrow- ing mood today, I think I'll swipe a few paragraphs from an editorial published in the Farm Journal. Al- though, of course, it refers specifi- cally to conditions in the United States, some of the things it says aren't very far astray 'regarding things here in Canada. So here goes: * * * "The cost of living still rises. Millions of city people are being told, and believe, that because. their food costs more, farmers should be blamed. * * * "They do not know that farmers | are producing MORE this year' than last. Nor do they appreciate that production costs are higher this year than last. They would be. surprised to know that the farmer's share ~of the food dollar is lower' than most of the time during the war. * * * "Agriculture should not silently let itself be made the goat fora condition that arises from other causes. Government spending and government wartime borrowing of money, with no sweat behind it, started the inflation and keep it rolling. When the town folks say you charge them tod much, tell them you don't make the prices. Tell them to put the blame where it belongs." * * * 'Which sound like words with a. whole lot 'of wisdom behind théem--I¥ so I'll leave them with you and sign off for the week. . I | With the Movie and Radio Folks Most reviewers who saw advance showings of Lawrence Olivier's screen version of "Hamlet" went overboard with enthusiasm, hailing it as the greatest thing that had ever happened to the. dear old cinema. Still, here and there one catches a tiny sour note in the chorus of araise. N * * L One captious gent, for example, hints that in the process of filming not only Hamlet, but Shakespeare as well, got murdered; and says that Olivier probably: omitted the line "Oh, what a rogue etc. am r be- cause people migh. take it as a con- fession of guilt for what he had done to. the Bard of Avon. * * * . In spite of this it would seem as if Olivier has done a magnificent job --and now the question is whether the general public will, take to a drama in which laughs are about as scarce as in a radio soap opera, and in which most of the real action takes place in people's minds. Olivier's "Henry Fifth' made a good clean up financially--one which made many film viscacres wonder if they hadn't been making a terrible mis- take as assuming that picture-going mentality is- that of a ten year old kid. The Gloomy Prince of Den- mark is quite another cup of tea, and I can imagine quite a lot of folks coming away wishing that they'd gone to see Bob Hope instead. * _¥ * Fred Allen's first broadcast--the one in which he and Henry Morgan did ac burlesqu- on "giveaway" shows--was screamingly funny, and 1 can't recall, offhand, any single air performance which gave me so nany real laughs. Morgan's take- off of the high pressure MLE. at the telephone was a masterpiece. . ¥ * Still, as a long-time admirer of the bigev-eved comic, after it was all over I coul 'n't help wishing Al- len hadn't done. it. That red is bitter against the "giveaways" is understandable--but to let that bit terness. appear so unmistakeably, and especially that business of guar- antecing listeners to his program against loss-of money they might have won by. tuning in his rivals, struck me as--well, rather cheap. * * * This is, of course, only one per- son's opinion, and I could casily be wrong. But personally T much pre- fer Jack Benny's approach to the 'matter--which has been more or less to ignore it. Benny scems to be saying to himself, "Well, I was here long before the giveaways were _even thought of and I'll prebably be here long after they're all washed "up. In the meantinie--to Heck with it "" * * * One of my pet hates on the air is the type of announcer who always sounds about eighty per cent sin- . cere and convincing--if you know what [ mean and you probably do. He's the kind who, when doing a. fewscast, tries to give you the im- pression that he's just fresh in from a talk over the Berlin situation with Marshall, Bevin and 'Molotov; or, when making a spicl about Some- body's Soapless Suds, gughes over with such enthusiasm that you'd imaging his hands were still drip- How to Store Porch Rockers In small houses, with limited storage space, it is sometimes dif- ficult to know what to do with porch rockers during the winter. Re- cently we saw what we considered a very satisfactory solution of this problem. oo A strip of. wood two inches wide and about one inch thick had been nailed across the cellar joists about 16 inches from the wall. The one we saw was 12 feet long, but the length would be determined by the number of chairs to be stored. The chairs "were turned upside down, with the rockers hanging on this strip and the top or back of the chair, resting against the wall. This arrangement kept the chairs in good condition and released precious floor space for other articles. . "Fair Enough! "Mighty big tip you handed that cloakroom attendant," commented Park. "It seemed only fair," said Tilford, "Look at the beautiful new coat she gave me." > - by (race Bharp fing from doing the weekly wash- g. * * * Perish the thought, they seem to imply, that they're reading ever word from g script which--in ull probability--they never even saw till about a quarter of an hour be- fore they came on the air. They're speaking to you direct from the heart, and don't tet anybody tell you anything different. * * * And 1 couldn't help thinking of these Johnny. Sincere's when I saw a little item recently to the ef- fect that television commercial an- noyncementy are becoming almost entirely film presentations. The rea- son? Well, in television the com- mercial announcers can't work with a script, because the folks would see them doing so and it would kill the effect. -And deprived of a script to read from, it has been found that even after several rehearsals few if any announcers are able to deliver a sponsor's message cffectively and convincingly from memory. TEST YOUR |. Q. HIDDEN BOOK TITLES Each of the following should re- mind you of the actual title of some well-known book. For example, "The Bell and the Volume" is acty- ally Browning's "I'he Ring and the Book." Answers ar upside down below! but no fair looking until you've tried your hardest. 1. Bird Mantle, 5 2. Expanding Earth, 3. Foot Soldier Trio i 4. A Crescent and Twelve Cents. be 5, The Red Epistle, 6. Bug in the Fireplace. 7. Wanderer's Headway. 8. Emerald Palaces. 9. The Tiny Parson. 10. 730 Days as a Sailor. 11. The Lamp Went Out. 12. Cheerless Abode. ANSWERS FSNOH Aedd ZI Spalted dey WyBrp dyy, [1 CISel: AY} 210Jo¢ SIBIX OM, 0 INSU ANT YL, '6 'suolsuepy WH g sso1do1y swuBLy 7 YURI dy) uo POU H- '9 NI PIg AML, S duAdXIS pur Uo YP Loa nsngy ay g, 'f "110s ayy jo pmo1H zo cpooy uqoy Cf SOMETHING TO CROW ABOUT _Almost every morning, a tame crow swoops down on a Chicago... neighborhood, and goes into this routine, First, he announces his visit by tapping on the window, begging food from housewives like Mrs. George Page. At other houses , , 3 Talialkd } + . . he varies this by ringing the door bell . Here, at the home of Mr, and Mrs. Tom Hanson, he says, "I'm here." Then . . , .. . the crow goes out and plays with the dogs, like the Hansons® chihuahua. He sometimes swipes loose items from back porches. WAT, E01 Don QF MY CAMERA! - A . » POON I be ME Rees ea) By Montana HE JUST HAS A PLAIN NOSE... LIKE EVERY ONE ELSE/