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e. 2, AEA EAE Ie SR EAE EV Ia, peo nd Does everybody have a cousin like mine? | sure hope not. 'One day | said to him, "I wish | could ride." He said, "Don't tell me you can't ride! Why, | 'could ride before | could walk." | just love people like that, | usually squelch them with judiciously applied sarcasm. 'Oh, yeah! | guess you didn't walk 'til you were sixteen, Eh?' - : Now, you'd think that would stop him in his tracks, but no, not my cousin. He carried on as though | hadnt said anything. '| can remember . my nurse carrying me to the stables and lifting me on top of Gypsy." | said, "My mother was against us having sex until we were seven or at least until we could walk. She was like that with the whole family." Now, that's pretty devastating stuff and would have finished most people but it didn't faze my cousin. He carried on. "My nurse put me on Gypsy's back, slapped her with a corner of her apron and | galloped off. That's how to learn to ride. That way you practically grow up knowing and never really have to learn." My cousin is supposed to have grown up knowing everything, swimming, skiing, tennis, golf, painting, piano-playing, gourmet cooking. You name it and he can do it. Some people get pretty sarcastic when he tells them how they should have done things but sarcasm never works with my cousin. He doesn't seem to hear it. Tell my cousin a joke and he'll tell you where he heard it before and he'll also tell you how you should have told it to make it really funny. | remember when his brother-in-law was living with him. His brother-in-law went out one day and bought a horse. He marched the horse along the street to my cousin's house, then he dragged the horse upstairs and along the hall. He pushed and shoved that horse through the living-room, through the dining-room, along the back hall and into the bathroom. When he got the horse into the bathroom he lined it up alongside the tub. Then he shot it. Running around quickly he manoveured the Circle Tour Tour departs Dec. 18th departs Dec. 18th $395. $320. per person (twin) per person (twin) $275. per person (twin) per person (twin) 9 11 Da Oy Bench St. ie 4') 8 Dec; 251 departs Dec. 23rd 4 "night ¢ driving) per person (twin) 0322! (twin) As well as many other departure dates to: Florida - Texas - and California for winter of 1977 . . PORT PERRY STAR -- Thursday, Sept. 9, 1976 -- 15 Expand Durham courses inden reac le horse into the bathtub, then sat down in the living-room to wait for my cousin to come home. My cousin's wife was used to odd things happening in her home, but this time she felt just a mite curious and asked, ;'Tell me, George, why did you bring that horse all the way home, drag if down the street, haul it up the stairs and all the way through the house, into the bathroom and then shoot it, and, of all things, put the dead horse in the bath?" My cousin's brother-in-law replied, "Well, Melissa, it's like this. When your husband comes home tonight he'll run up the stairs, he'll go through the living-room, the dining-room, along the back hall, into the bathroom and then he'll come running all the way back through the house to the living-room and Ill be sitting there smoking a cigarette, and drinking a beer. And he'll shout, "THERE'S A DEAD HORSE IN THE BATHROOM!' and I'll slowly lay down my beer, take a puff of my cigarette and I'll say, 'I know Sam, | know, | know, | know!' Well, my cousin came home that night, all right. He went all through the house to the bathroom and then he came running back downstairs and said "M elissa, I've told you to speak to your brother about the mess he always leaves in the bathroom. He's done it again, the same old mess he always leaves. You'd think there was a dead horse in the bathtub again. EARTH BORN SHAMPOO TAME CREME RINSE For the fall of 1976 Durham College offers 300 different courses in a comprehensive community education pro- gram that combines academic interests with leisure and recreational pur- suits. In particular, Applied Arts courses have been expanded. There are now a total of 56 courses in the areas of Mus- ical Arts, Design Arts, Com- munication Arts, Commun- ity Development, Behavioral Science and Fine Arts. There are 69 General In- terest courses, including such subjects as beekeeping, - understanding computers, effective self-defence and gardening with herbs. The College points out that cost for these General Interest courses are covered by student fees. Most Durham College ex- tension classes begin the week of October 4. A Contin- uing Education Calendar, which contains information on all courses, will be mailed the week of September 6 to 74,000 households in the Dur- ham Region. Registration may be made by mail or in person at the College weekdays. Special registration evenings with academic advisors present, will be held September 14, 16 and 20, from 6:30 to 9:00 p.m. SHAAN NARANNNN AACN NN ANNIE NNSS SNS SSSA SSS . CONCRETE Basement Floors Garage Floors Patios - Sidewalks Concrete Steps « DON'S CUSTOM FINISHING mr --- © [3+] ED Gillette Trac Il RAZOR BLADES 731.09 8 oz. PH CONTROLLED BACK TO SCHOOL: SPECIAL DUO TANG s ocx 89° ALL SUNTAN LOTION & OIL PRODUCTS 1/2 M.S.R. PRICE ALL POLAROID COOL-RAY & ULTRA BAN Sunglasses 1/2. Reg. *21.69 THREE STRAP ASSORTED SIZES SANDALS *17.69 New Bonne Bell Cosmetics FULL LINE DISPOSABLE BUTANE LIGHTERS wotore 1.39 SCOPE Lawrence Pharmacy operated sy Port Perry Pharmacy Ld. 209 QUEEN STREET - PORT PERRY - PHONE 985-2231 \ ta CENA LNA [RSS AN FAA YAN a NET PARI KISSER IVEY] SIU BISEEN SRAETI ROSS BNA 1 N\ a a Tr de Cc rt tat LA -~-- HN ON S23 " "8 ~ ~ RK Re » on "Te TAN, TTR Re wes, ~ APR = -- Ea a -- TAT x Pl Se BEATS TY RA NEE NAA rn re ~ hp Trl BLS =r a NT A ee gn