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-- ~ a SO and a Ro oe TUS a Lt a SNS editorial poge A Final Kick at the Library Supporters and opponents of the proposed Scugog Library location on the lakefront will get their second kick at the cat early next month as the Ontario Municipal Board has set September 2 as the date for a re-hearing into the whole matter. That's not a day too soon, and hopefully this time around, the Board will weigh the evidence and testimony presented and come up with a clear-cut decision one way or another as to whether that site can be the home for the proposed new library. The last time the OMB convened a hearing on this matter in April, the decision handed down favoured neither side saying simply that the issue go back to the municipality for further consideration. Members of council, the Library Board and the objectors found that decision unsatisfactory, and the OMB came under some heavy criticism. Rightly so. No matter what your personal feelings about the location of a new library, one thing is certain. This issue has dragged on far too long, and for a time placed in jeopardy the chance of Scugog getting a new library built anywhere in the near future. It has caused some bitterness and rancor in the community, but we can't help get the feeling that the vast majority of Scugog Township residents are just plain tired of hearing and reading about the library. So, when September 2 rolls around, let's get on. with deciding 'the issue. The Library Board, the "Township and the objectors will all "have their day in court," so to speak; a chance to again present their arguments for and against. And once the OMB makes up its mind (surely it will this time) all sides should accept the decision no matter how it goes. If the Board turns down the re-zoning for the lakefront property, then it's up to the Library Board to start looking elsewhere for a site. Likewise if the Board approves the re-zoning, then the objectors must accept this and allow th Library Board to get on with the task of raising th money and getting the construction underway. Appeals of the September decision either back to the OMB or to the Cabinet would serve no purpose in this instance and only add to the growing expense on both sides. Ands.most certainly, it would. sound the death knell for local fund raising projects, and " possibly put in jeopardy the committed Wintario grand, of $100,000. It has been the Star's policy in the past to support the idea of bigger and better library facilities for the people of this Township. This paper has also t ~ supported the proposed lakefront location as far superior to any other, and certainly better than trying to tack an addition onto the rear of the present library building on Queen Street. We recognize and accept the fact that many people in the Township have never been in a library anywhere, and will never use one in Scugog. But one of the sad facts about this long protracted controver- sy Is that there are residents who probably have not made a financial contribution because the location has been embroiled in dispute for so long. One final word on this affair. Some of the objectors have stated publicly that they are not BE ZHI AL HIE BSL RE 0 Wo BERR fay Ph opposed to a new library, or the fact that tax-payers dollars have been committed. They are just against the site, which, they say, should be turned into lakefront parkland. In fact, some of the objectors have said they would gladly campaign for funds for a new library if it were built elsewhere. : If the OMB decides in favour of the objectors and the Library Board must find another location, can we expect to see some or all of the objectors out canvassing for funds? If that happens, the Library Board should take them up on their offer. bill smile BEST-SELLER WRITING Let's see now. Here it is about August, and I was supposed: to-produce a book this summer. I wish it were as simple as getting pregnant and producing a beautiful healthy, welcomed child. Two different parties are after me, as we say in this country, to get off my bottom and pop a best-seller. Some daffy dame in Vancouver got me out of bed one morning at 7:10 with a phone call, offering to be my agent, at tén per cent. I was a little grumpy. Ihave been known to throw the alarm clock right through a window when it goes off at 7:15. I asked her what the hell time it was in Vancouver. It was 2:10 a.m., naturally, a time when even daffy dames should be snoring. * Twenty minutes later, while I was shaving, she called again to ask how many pages the book would have, what kind of paper, what kind of cover, what price. She could have heard my answers all the way to Vancouver wi<hout bothering Ma Bell. A couple of days later, my old lady got a call, right in the middle of her siesta, from some publisher the d.d. in Vancouver called. At this point my o.l. was getting a bit brassed off, answering the phone calls at all hours from old fighter pilots who were flying when they called, people who wanted an instant recipe for becoming a syndicated columnist, and dear old ladies who were suffering from insomnia and just wanted to tell her they'd been reading my column for seventy-six years. As a result, she gave the world-famous publisher what is know as short shrift. I don't know the etymology of the phrase, but basically it means being cut off af the knees, so that your shrift, or whatever, is dangling in the dirt. He didn't call again, and I haven't called him because I don't want to appear to be towering over him. My other agent, and old friend, who could sell cowboy boots to Indians, and moccasins to cowboys, dropped a line with some suggestions and advice. He should know better. He's been giving me both for more than twenty years, and I have not only ignored both, I have usually done the opposite, with no dire results, except that we'd both have made some money if I'd listened. But what good money these days? ot x, First thing he suggested was a title. If I'd had a national contest to choose the worst possible title for my pregnant but un-popped book, his would have won first prize. Next, my old buddy offered some ideas for chapters: the family, the school, sex, politics, etc. I wish he'd spelled out the etcetera, because I don't know much about the others. The family. What a chapter! Dull, dull, dull. Unfortunately I came from a happy family. Ididn't hate either my father, or my mother, so there's no mileage there. 1 get along great with my brothers and sisters, as long as we're several hundred miles apart. I love my son and daughter, when he's in Paraguay and she's in Moosenee. I adore my grandboys, especially when I'm waving good-bye as they leave for another few months. My wife and I put up with each other. So what's to write about? The school? Another dead end. I've been going to school: public, high, univer- sity, air force lectures, teacher, for more than forty years, and I know about twelve per cent more than a six-months infant. In math, I can't even use a calculator without getting all fouled up, as the Revenue Department just informed me this week, to the tune of $810.00. And forty cents. In science, I have just lately figured out that acid rain is from kidney trouble with Santa Claus's reindeer. In geography, I am quite confident that. Texas is south of some oil-producing places, and north of others. In history, I am content with a student's assessment that the Church of England was established because Henry VIII was fed up with the Pope. In English, I'm pretty secure. I know the first line of several of Shakespeare's great soliliquies: "To be or not to be." But I can't remember the second line or any of the others. And I do know what a participle is, which is more than I can say . for the two Grade Ten's I taught this year. So school is out, as a subject. Now about sex. There, I might be able to come up with several chapters. Despite my earlier disclaimer about science, I do know a pistil from a stamen. 1 think. And I got some pretty hot stuff from an electrician one day, when he said, "This is the female plug." And of course anyone who reads modern novels can't help but be pretty well versed. (Is 'versed' @ bad word? I'm never sure.) It comes fromthe same root, if you'll pardon the expression, as 'perverse.' Otherwise} I know most of the stuff. Kinky is'two people with Afro hair-do's getting all tangled up. Aural sex is kissing with your ears instead of your lips, rather like the old myth about Eskimaux rubbing noses. Rather odd, but whatever turns you on, as we sex writers say. No problem with the sex chapters. As to his final suggestion, politics, I could write a book. But nobody would read it, because it would be banned as the most obscene literary effort since Lady Chatter- ly's Lover. "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomor- * " ® 3