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CH i ao i. i CEI TA Y Se Ch AU TER SB Le a RANI RA Xa ae letters Bill Smiley hits an all time low Dear Sir: Although Bill Smiley and I often have very different points of view on issues, I usually read his column because of his caustic wit. He often amuses, all too fre- quently, however, at the expense of other people. This week, February 1, his column reaches a zenith point on the scale of bad taste. I realize such as phrase as "bad taste' may be rather outdated. Nonetheless it surprises me that a weekly newspaper of the calibre of the Port Perry Star allows such callousness as appears in Smiley's column this 'week. I quote: '"Think of your dead friends, and even more deeply of your dead enemies. This should cheer you up." If this be humor, it is indeed black. Few among the many of us with friends who have passed on, sometimes at very young ages, would in my opinion, find this thought cheering. It is not hard to imagine why Mr. Smiley might have several enemies. To refer in print, to "Brits" being constipat- ed, physically, mentally and emotionally, seems to me not only in poor taste but verging on a racial slur. Bill Smiley's refer- ences to the aged not only are over-flip: they assume superiority of a younger age group. His references to religion are put-downs of people that many find comfort- ing. No doubt, being aware of libel laws, he changed the spelling of the names slightly enough to fool nobody. His references to suicide are revolting -- to me at any rate. (Turn to page 6) PORT PERRY STAR -- Tues. February 8, 1983 -- 5 the S LOS INO E (416) 985-7383 (a) PORT PERRY STAR CO LIMITED 235 QUEEN STREET P.O 80X90 (+ CNA PORT PERRY ONTARIO (599) J. PETER HVIDSTEN Publisher Advertising Manager Member of the Canadian Community Newspaper Assoc:ation and Ontario Community Newspaper Association Published every Tuesday by the Port Perry Star Co. Ltd, Port Perry, Ontario J.B. MCCLELLAND Editor Authorized as second class mail by the Post Office ANADIAN COMM uy 8 12 Ye Qe IA o¥, Department, Ottawa, and for cash payment of postage in cash Second Class Mail Registration Number 0265 Subscription Rate: In Canada $15.00 per year. Elsewhere $45.00 per year. Single copy: 35 bill smiley THE DEPRESSION Depressing, isn't it? And I'm not talking about the weather. Although I could. Came home from work yesterday, mid-January, in the pouring rain. Didn't even bother to plug in the block heater. Got up this mor- ning and it was below zero. Guess what didn't happen. 'And how about that rampant 'flu that is striking down huge, burly men as well as little old ladies. I fall somewhere between the two, and it has certainly stricken me down - about four times. Twice in the last two weeks we have scheduled a party for friends. Everything set: fire laid; glasses polished; booze bought; rug vacuumed almost to death. And twice Ole Mistah Floo has knocked everything in- to a cocked hat, whatever that is. Do you have any conception of the effort required, when all you want to do is die and be incinerated, to have to call up about fifteen people, two weekends in a row, and tell them the party is off? And 80 per cent of them are out on the first, and second, and third call? But what the heck. That's what this country is all about in winter, and it is only then that I curse me ancestors, not loud but deep, for setting forth from the peat and potatoes and deciding they'd go to Canada. Why not Australia, or South Africa, or Tahiti? The only smart person in my entire family collec- tion (connection? That's The Floo) is a nephew who went to Costa Rica, started a small business, made a happy marriage, and has three little girls. We had a hap- py Christmas card from him. Everybody else in the family is sick or stupid or broke or old or having marital problems. And that in- cludes yours truly. Why didn't I go to the Yucatan Penin- sula in Mexico, as Roman Woychuk and I planned to do as soon as -- and if -- we got out prison camp alive? And I wonder what has happened to Chuk. He was a brilliant cartoonist, but had an eccentric streak. Last time I saw him, we were out at a nightclub with our ladies. Toward the end of the evening, he picked up his glass, pretending it was a grenade, pulled the non- existent pin out with his teeth, and hurled it through a mirror that must have cost twenty grand. He probably couldn't even pick up his glasses now, let alone a glass. But I hope he has some of the old esprit left. He was a Canadian Ukrainian and coached us in a few words of Russian, because we knew The Russians Were Coming. All I remember is "Nistrali,"" meaning "Don't shoot." But what am I doing in the Yucatan Peninsula with a crazy Ukrainian? A columnist is supposed to have a theme, state it, defend it and leave the reader in a state of serenity, a problem solved, a difficult dilemma made clear as crystal. And all I've done so far is muddy the waters, ob- fuscate the obvious, and leave the reader with raised eyebrows that indicate Smiley should be put out to pasture. What I really wanted to talk about was The Depres- sion. And don't talk to me about a recession, a slow- down, a shake-down or any other of the cant phrases used by economists who are able to tell us, in double- talk, and at fifty thousand a year, that things are tough all over. We're in a Depression, and note the capital D. How do I know? Well, gentle reader, I've been there before. I know the territory. A few years ago, in my youth, I stated that we could never have another Great Depression, like that of the '30s. After all, we had unemployment insurance, a reasonable Old Age Pension, medicare; all sorts of buf- fers against poverty, hunger, humiliation, raggedy- asses, and the like. I was wrong, and though I hate to admit it, as everyone does who is wrong, I was. Oh, we're not quite back to the thirties, but we're on the way. In the town where I live, roughly thirty per cent of the people are without employment. In the town where I lived during the Great Depres- sion, the figure grew to about forty per cent. That's why my Dad lost his business. He was a softy, and gave credit. People couldn't pay their bills. He went broke. What's going to happen in this country when the unemployment insurance whatever runs out of money? When there isn't enough left in the government coffers to pay the doctors? When there isn't enough money to pay the interest on the massive deficit we've acquired by borrowing on the future? When there isn't enough money left to pay old age pensions, and welfare, and look after all the prisoners and retarded people and insane? Well, it'll be interesting, at any rate. There's going to be a lot of bitterness in the land. Personally, I'm going to buy myself a double bar- relled shotgun. And when I go down to collect my old age pension, and the twerp who still has a job tells me there's no money left, I'm going to throw down on him, and make him extract it from his own hip pocket. And then I'm going to go out and shoot up some metric signs, just for the helluvit. - 60 YEARS AGO Thursday, February 8, 1923 Village council was considering a controversial by- law which would allow them to be paid for the time they spend at council meetings. The first Boy Scout Troop from Port Perry lost a hockey game to an Uxbridge scout team 6-3. Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Dobson of Manchester announ- ced the birth of a daughter. A Port Perry store had a sale on kerosene lanterns: regularly priced at $1.25, reduced to 90 cents. 35 YEARS AGO Thursday, February 5, 1948 A new public school board called the Scugog Township Area School Board held its first meeting. Thirty-two boxes of food were collected for the "Food for Britain" program by post-war convenor of the Im- perial Order Daughters of the Empire, Mrs. Murray. "Variety Girl", a musical starring Bing Crosby, Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour was playing in Port Perry. At the same time a tin of pork and beans (20 ounces) was selling for 18 cents. 25 YEARS AGO Thursday, February 6, 1958 A Canadian weather balloon landed on the farm of Lloyd Fawns, 6th Concession, Reach Township. The congregation of Burns Church celebrated its 100th Anniversary. Port Perry council applied for leave to issue $30,000 worth of debentures so that a town well could be construc- © ted Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Morrison announced the birth of their daughter Carol at Port Perry Hospital. You could buy a package of cheese slices for 29 cents in 1958. i 20 YEARS AGO Thursday, February 7, 1963 Port Perry Council passed a resolution objecting to the pollution of lake water by the use of phosphate detergents. Council accepted, with deep regret, the resignation of Roy Cornish as a member of the Port Perry Athletic Field Committee. Evangelist Billy Rourke Jr. was holding revival meetings at the Pentecostal Church. Five 20 ounce tins of choice tomatoes could be pur- chased in town for $1.00. Port Perry Midgets won the first round of the Ontario Minor Hockey Association playoffs by beating Bay Ridges 3-1. The girls hockey team lost to Uxbridge 3-0. A movie called The Interns was playing in the area. 15 YEARS AGO Thursday, February 1, 1968 At the last meeting of Port Perry Council, it was decided to change the payments of taxes from twice to three times a year making installments due on the first of May, August and November. Well-known resident of Reach Township and ex- warden, Grant Christie received the Centennial Award "in recognition of valuable service to the nation. July 1, 1967", Members of the Community Hospital staff gathered in the Anglican Parish Hall to pay tribute to Mrs. K. Hook, who will be leaving her post as administrator of the hospital at the end of the month. Cartwright Township council consisted of the following members: John R. Hamilton, deputy-reeve; Lawrence Malcolm, reeve; Osmond Wright, councillor; Victor Malcolm, clerk-treasurer; Vernon Asselstine and Gordon Gettins, councillors. Utica Farm Equipment at Utica will be holding their Grand Opening next week. 10 YEARS AGO Thursday, February 7, 1973 Bell Canada has proposed an extension of their "free of long distance charges" for Port Perry area residents. However, monthly rates will increase with this change. A residential private line now costs $4.25 in Port Perry. Ivan Haugen's prize winning standard bred stallion has been sold to Austrian breeders for an undisclosed amount. The pedigreed 10 year old goes into stud in Europe. Mr. Bill Johnson of Stouffville, an accomplished musician has turned composer. His latest tune "Goin' Home Today" is sung by maritimer Linda Stone, one of Canada's fastest rising vocal stars.