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$i oe - Beard growing contestant Doug Olliffe keeps a wary eye on barber Mike Guido as he shears off Doug's pride and joy ---- the moustache he has worn since he was 16 years old. What comes off must grow back, or so the story goes. Star publisher Peter Hvidsten is hoping against hope that his moustache and a full beard will magically appear sometime within the next few months so he can walk off with a prize in the Chamber of Commerce beard-growing contest. Until he was shaved by Barber Mike Guido Thursday night, Pete had worn a hairy top lip for nine years. His wife Nancy had never seen him without a moustache. Eighteen enter Chamber's beard growing contest a a) by Cathy Robb Personally I think it's the biggest rip-off since those sea monkeys they sell on the back of comic books. I mean, sure, with women's lib and all that stuff it's pretty easy for girls like me to be treated just like one of the guys. So what if they don't ask me to play poker with them once a month, or invite me to be AS on the Port Perry Star Look up the word FEAR in Oxford's dic- tionary and you'll see this picture of Doug Olliffe, undergoing the sharp surgical straight razor of barber Mike Guido from Monte Carlo Hair Fashion. Everything was going great for the beard-growing contestant until he smiled -- and suddenly Doug had an instant dimple. His was the only casualty in what turned out to be a long night of shaving. golf team -- when, in fact, half the members of the Star golf team don't work for the Star. So what about that. I know, deep down, that if I really cared about play- ing golf or poker (which I don't) then they'd let me play. Trouble is, this so- called Beard Growing Contest isn't like golf or poker. To be one of the guys in this circumstance means you gotta be able to grow. hair on your face. Real hair, not just the fuzz that Bleach-Out takes care of. And everyone knows, Real Men Don't Eat Bleach-Out. In fact, the Real Men of this community crawl- ed out to the Scugog Township Offices last Thursday night to submit their faces to Mike Guido, the barber from Monto Carlo who pro- mptly shaved every hair in sight. Didn't matter if they had a full beard, a moustache or just a little bit of fluff, it all came off under the capable hands and straight blade of barber Mike. And the reason for all this nonsense? Well, the Scugog Chamber of Commerce thought it might be sort of cute to host a Beard Growing Contest to Let our team of highly - skilled. GM-trained technicians get your car in shape Youll feel the difference a good professional tune-up makes. So hurry to take advantage of this special celebrate Western Days. So they registered the 20 or so entrants on Thurs- day, who have until Fri- day July 12 (the start of Western Days) to grow the best beard they can. Prizes will be awarded to the Longest, Bushiest, Best Groomed and Worst. Which is all very nice and cozy. But what about the women? Just because we can't grow .. Real Men to sprout \ = hair where Real Women just can't any sizable hair on our faces, should we be ex- cluded from this race? What about equality, human rights and all that jazz? Personally, I think we should be having a Hairy Leg contest, something that both men and women could enter together. And I just know I could win it. Hands down. Up until last Thursday night, Ed Wilson was the proud owner of a thick Tom Selleck look-a-like moustache. Now he has what is commonly known as a bald upper lip. But is he upset? Just look at that grin! FARLY BIRD SPRING TUNE-UP SPECIAL + Spark plug wires, check - Idle stop solenoid and/or dashpot check + Spark plug replacement - Engine timing adjustment and distributor check + Air cleaner and PCV filter elements replacement + PCV valve replacement + Evaporation control system check. and filter replacement + Fuel cap. tank and lines check + Electrical system check. including starting & charging systems + Cvlinder balance check 36% S44 6 cylinder 8 cylinder Complete tune-up includes + Thermo controlled air cleaner check + Carburetor choke and hoses check - Engine idle speed adjustment + Carburetor mounting torque check * Vacuum advance system and hoses check + Fuel filter replacement ST 4 cylinder Most Cars anc Light Trucks Guaranteed Service | ~~. Guaranteed GM Parts Guaranteed Price The early bird catches a great deal at Philp Pontiac Buick Ltd until April 30, 1985. Howard before... The Scugog Chamber of Commerce "Beard Growing Contest" got underway last Thursday evening at the Municipal Office when the faces of about 18 contestants were trimmed. ...and after! Howard Hall was one of those whose beard was lopped off for the occasion, after wearing one since Port Perry's Centen- nial celebrations in 1971. PONTIAC BUICK LIMITED 10 VANEDWARD DRIVE, PORT PERRY - 985-8474 Ov he Community since 1976