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K.-... . en ee. 4 16 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, May 27, 1986 The church must make a choice between being a roadblock or a resource in its stand in relation to family violence. This was the central message of a presentation by Jessie Stockton, a member of the conference's Divi- sion of Mission, to the 62nd annyal meeting of the United Church Bay of Quinte Conference held in Perth May 22 to 26. : Mrs. Stockton pointed out that family violence is now a fact of our society. Sixty percent of all female murders are the result of wife assault. Ninety-six percent of all violence is directed toward women and children. She debunked several myths prevalent around the problem. One common belief is that alcohol is a cause of family violence. In fact, while alcohol abuse is often present in such situations, stopping the drinking will not stop the violence. Other myths are that the woman somehow programs the violence, that it is caused by poor com- munications, and that it happens on- ly in low-income families. Violence within family '""Marriage counselling is not the answer and can actually perpetuate the violence," she said. 'It can strengthen the man's conviction that the woman causes the problem. The reality is that the woman can- not express her true feelings in his ~ presence.' To help the victims, their safely must first of all be ensured, and the violence must stop. Only then can work be done toward reconciliation, or toward assisting the vwoman through her mourning of the loss of the relationship. Mrs. Stockton said that she feels that this is the point where the help offered by the church often breaks down. A high priority on the preser- vation of family life tends to lend helpers to begin with the last step and ignore the need for the first two. She outlined some of the con- tributing factors to wife abuse. "In our society, violence toward women has been tolerated," she said. "If a woman is being beaten on the street, passers-by likely won't assist her if they know that the abuser is her husband." L.L.B.O. CAESAREA PHONE 986-5684 _ COUNTRY SOUNDS OF -- "gOUTHERN COMFORT" Friday & Saturday, May 30th & 31st ~~ _ COMING NEXT WEEK -- Rock with "BADLANDS?! Ask your insurance agent, i or me. Employee health and dental programs which offer * responsible coverage e flexible plan design * ease of administration. _ SY For details contact: Ross Freer Suite 204 Peterborough Square © 360 George Street North Peterborough, Ontario K9H 7ES8 (705) 743-0677 ONTARIO BLUE 6385 2K June 5 to 11 Only Fresh Prult and ICE CREAM - No Purchase Necessary M@minan ORCHARDS HWY. 2 between Ajax & Whitby OPENING THURS., JUNE 5 Mon. - Fri. 9am -8pm Sat. & Sun 9am - 6pm CROSS "Also, males have been pro- grammed to believe that women are there to meet their needs," she con- tinued. 'When they fail to do so, their response is anger." She also pointed to a macho at- titude in society that says that the expression of any feelings in a male is weakness. This results in all feel- ings coming out under the umbrella of anger. The cycle of wife-battering follows a predictable course. The woman often has a brief moment of clarity just before the actual explosion, when she understands what is tak- ing place. This is followed by the battering. Mrs. Stockton explained that, at the time of explosion, intervention is un- safe. Many police are killed when in- tervening at this place in the cycle. Then comes a "honeymoon" phase when the man feels remorse and compensates with gift-giving and courting behaviors. In her desperate need for hope, the woman accepts these as genuine indicators of change, and cannot be helped at this time. Sometimes the man goes for help during this period. But he is often put off by a minister or other person in whom he confides, who assumes that since he recognizes the pro- blem, things are OK, and advises him to call when the violence builds up again. "True repentance includes doing whatever is necessary so that the act is not repeated," said Mrs. Stockton. After the 'honeymoon' phase, the tension again begins to build, resulting in repetition of the cycle. Members of the division followed Mrs. Stockton's presentation with a skit written by Dr. Heather Smith portraying two responses of a clergyman approached by a bat- tered wife. One showed the tradi- tional "go home and pray about it"' approach, while the other showed a clergyman taking positive steps toward ensuring the woman"s safe- ty and counteracting her feelings of worthlessness. 44 1b. (2 kg.) . HONEY No. 1 White (Clover) Creamed $435 While present supplies last. ME milan ORCHARDS HWY. 2 between Ajax & Whitby OPENING THURS., JUNE 5 Mon. - Fri. 9am. -8pm. Sat. & Sun. 9am. -6pm. 5 Year Annual Interest 9%)" Rates subject to change without notice ©) the mu Savings & loan corporation ArPLY TO DON FORDER INSURANCE BROKERS LTD. JO WATER ST., PORT PERRY - 985-8471 g Champagne breakfast at the nursing home by Wendy Clark Well we're back again with more exciting news from the Community Nursing Home. It has been a very busy two weeks: On Sunday, May 11th, 27 of the ladies injoyed a Mother's Day Champagne breakfast. Mrs. Margaret Edwards made a toast to all of the mother's with none other than champagne. Everyone then relaxed to a fabulous breakfast. Thanks to Barb Downing, Peggy & Harvey Easton, and to Stephanie for volunteering their time to make it such a success. On Monday, May 12th the residents enjoyed an exciting bowl- ing game. Ten people came out to play. The top score for the day was achieved by Lionel Blaikie with 134 points. Congratulations Lionel! (Turn to page 39) UNITED CHURCH Rev. Glenn C. Jackson, M.A., B.D. SUNDAY JUNE 1 Port Perry 10:00 a.m. - Worship for Centennial The 5th Decade 1926-1936 PRINCE ALBERT 11:30 a.m. Morning Worship Church School (Nursery Care Provided) SCUGOG PASTORAL CHARGE Rev. Brian Robinson B.A. M.Div. Scugog - 9:45 a.m. - Manchester - 11:15 a.m. UNITED CHURCH OF CANADA Rev. Dale Davis SUNDAY JUNE 1 North Nestleton Sunday School Anniversary 11:15 a.m Blackstock friends will join them in celebration Blackstock 7:30 p.m. Musical '"The Victor" by New Jerusalem UNITED CHURCH OF CANADA COLUMBUS UNITED Rev. Gordon Rutherford B.A. M. Div. © 10:00 a.m. Sunday School - Grades 1 to 3 Nursery School GREENBANK PASTORAL CHARGE SERVICES Rev. David Shepherd, Minister 9:30 a.m. Seagrave 11:00 a.m. Greenbank 12:30 p.m. Pinedale COMMUNITY CHURCH CAESAREA Rev. Dr. W.H. Crawford SUNDAY JUNE 1 at 11:15 a.m. We invite you to share with us in family worship Children's Church During Worship Welcome to the Country Church EMMANUEL PENTECOSTAL CHURCH Queen and Rosa Streets Pastor R. Hilsden 985-9222 -- 985-3770 SUNDAY JUNE 1 9:45 a.m. Sunday School For All Ages 11 a.m. & 7 p.m. Services Special Music Nursery Care - Children's Church A Warm Welcome Awaits You ANGLICAN CHURCH The Rev'd M. Ansley Tucker St. John's, Blackstock SUNDAY JUNE 1 9:00 a.m. Holy Communion Ascension, Port Perry SUNDAY JUNE 1 10:30 a.m. Holy Communion Don't waste this space. Small ads pay! PORT PERRY BAPTIST CHURCH Hwy 7A and Island Road East of Port Perry Church Office 985-8681 Senior Pastor: Rev. G.E. Barton, M.A., M.Th. 985-8681 -- 985-8873 Youth Pastor: Mr. T. Michael Putt 985-8154 -- 986-4773 Sunday Services Bible School 9:45 a.m. Worship 11:00 a.m. Musical Presentation 6:30 p.m. 'The Race Is On' The Praise and Power Company 60 member Youth Choir & Instrumental Group Ladies Coffee Hour Tuesday, 9:45 a.m. Nursery Provided Prayer and Bible Study Wednesday 7:30 p.m. C.S.B. Boys Club Thursday 7 p.m. Youth Meetings - Friday Evenings Call Youth Pastor - Special Welcome to the Handicapped HOPE CHRISTIAN REFORMED CHURCH OF PORT PERRY A Christian Reformed Fellowship 166 Simcoe Street, Prince Albert ) Rev. Bart VanEyk, Pastor "The Church of the Back-to-God Hour" Broadcasting Sundays 9:30 a.m. CHOO - 1390 AM and CKAN 1480 AM Services 10:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. A Women's Inter-Faith Study and Children's Story Hour Every Thursday 9:30 a.m. - Nursery Provided "Everyone Welcome' EMMANUEL FULL GOSPEL FELLOWSHIP Durham Road 23 and 7th Conc. Rev. G.B. Parks 852-5871 9:45 a.m. Sunday School Sunday 11:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. Wednesday 7:30 p.m. Bible Study Thursday 9:30 a.m. Ladies Fellowship Friday 7 p.m. Young People PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF CANADA Rev. Stuart McEntyre B.A., B.D. 985-3881 -- 985-3409 ST. JOHN'S, PORT PERRY 319 Queen Street SUNDAY JUNE 1 9:55 a.m. Family Worship Church School and Nursery During Worship Welcome! BURNS CHURCH, ASHBURN 10:00 a.m. Church School 11:15 a.m. Family Worship Nursery & Junior Church Welcome! ! & re Wd e-- A Ai