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EE ER CBO nd SRS TR aT TE SR ait iid J RE onan Lil LN 6 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, December 15, 1987 One Woman's View by Chris Carlisle So now bananas want rights. They want to be treated with dign ty They want respect. They don't want to be sex symbols any more | suppose next they'll be meeting in Pans with Brigitte Bardot, defen- ding animal rights. Bananas against seal hunts and all that. It all started innocently enough. A television show on AIDS to be aired in November uses a banana to demonstrate safe sex. Or rather-they unroll a condom over a banana to show men the correct way to don a condom. The International Banana Association Inc. 1s not impressed. In fact, it's quite upset and the association president says such use of the banana is unacceptable. "The banana is an important product and deserves to be treated with respect and consideration," Robert Moore protested to the Public Broadcasting Service who will air the show, AIDS: Chang- ing The Rules. The show will be hosted by Ron Reagan, President Reagan's son. The association's outrage over this use of the banana can mean only one thing. The poor banana has been misunderstood for cen- turies. Now it too wants equal rights and the dignity it deserves. Maybe flowers on its birthday. What next? Bananas have feelings too" Let bananas think for themselves? Give bananas the vote" I've never heard of an intellectual banana. I thought their brains were mush. And I thought they were heartless, too. I had no idea a banana could take offense. Maybe they're worried about what all the little bananas will think when they find out Dad has been cavorting around television studios with glamorous stars, placing himself in compromising situations. "Dad used his body to get to the top," they'll sadly tell each other, shaking in their little yellow skins--too yellow to go out and try anything as exciting and dangerous or provocative themselves. It's nonsense. Bananas don't need equal rights or special con- sideration. While cucumbers may welcome the removal of competi- tion and carrots may clamor to grab up some of the attention, there's no reason to bow to the bananas' demands. Bananas after all don't merit special consideration. They are not only two-faced, they're three-faced and totally unreliable. They'll change color from green to yellow to black at a moment's notice. Add a yellow banana to a fruit bowl and ask nothing more of it than to sit there and look pretty for a couple of days and what does it do" Starts sending out little black spots and next thing you know, it's all black and gushy. True they're thick-skinned and should be able to take the scan- dal, but look a little deeper and what do you have" Soft, white pulp. Mush. No fortitude. No strength. All their lives they've done nothing but hang around in bunches, soaking up the sun. Never do they take the initiative to separate - themselves from the gang and go in search of adventure or a job. You want to put a banana to good use and you have to pry them frony their cronies. And who are they hanging around with? Who do they give shelter to" The most undesirables creatures around. Tarantulas and boa constrictors. (Turn to page 8) Letters Outraged by new tax proposal To The Editor I received a letter from my hfe in- surance company informing me that the federal government 1s thinking about taking the increase in the value of life insurance policies with any Investment Income Tax This, the company assures me, will he passed on to policyholders and could possibly 'significantly reduce" the future value of the policy. From my position, I am vehemently opposed to this tax. My combined family incomes, keeps us afloat with little in the way of extras. 1 did not work for many years and will receive little or no Canada Pension | bought my hfe in- surance at a ume when there was much talk that maybe there would be no old age pension when | retired | thought this would be a safe-guard for me in that event | looked up the world "invest: ment" and the definition is 'the outlay of money for income or pro- fit; capital or outlay; also the sum invested or the property purchas- ed" If the government is going strictly by this definition we have no "protection" for our future, only an "investment' in it. If this tax becomes a realty, policyholders are really between a Yesterday's Memories (From Page 5) 10 YEARS AGO Wednesday, December 14, 1977 The Family Allowances legislation calls for annual escalation of payments in January of each year in accordance with the increase in the cost of living. Effective January, the federal government mon- thly allowance paid for children under 18 will rise to $25.68 from $23.89 in most provinces. Old man winter struck with a vengeance last week as two storms in less than four days dumped more than 20 inches of snow on Scugog Township. Scugog Townships winter maintenance program for snow removal and sanding is a costly one, with the 1978 estimate running at about $220,000. Scugog Township council agreed to start the wheels turning for preparation of a district plan in the hamlet of Greenbank. Chatterbox by Cathy Olliffe (From page 4) couple to an elegant dinner for two, and later, to a drive-through fast food restaurant. (Haven't you always wanted to do that? Take a limo through and order a hamburger? Isn't that the greatest?) The limo, of course, was loaded down with a TV, VCR, a bar ---- the works. Now I ask you, is this guy head-over-heels, or what? Isn't that the most romantic date you've ever heard of? Sigh ---- how come nobody ever did that for me? Please, don't answer that. rock and a hard place. The govern ment is saying the tax will be paid by your insurance company but they are stating that it will be passed on to policyholders. I hope there are other people like myself out there who feel as outrag- ed by this as I do. I hope you will ex- press your concerns _to the govern- ment and your insurance company, as | have. Yours sincerely, Bonnie Hudson Nestleton 'No lights (From page 5) to 29 lights from our house will read this. It would appear to us that this per- son has fallen on hard times as on- ly the lights were taken. We hope this person has used these lights to brighten his or her place of residence and to accept these lights as a gift from us, and we hope that this will be a turning point in this person's life to better things. We wish this person a Merry Christmas and hopefully a better 1988 and to all persons who read this, we wish the same. Yours very truly, Derrick & Inez Morley Port Perry, Ontario \ Take OW R aA Vier SHOPLIFTING IS A CRIME This message sponsored by the Port Perry Star Random Jottings by J. Peter Hvidsten SUNDAY SHOPPING It appears that sometime in the near future, councils of small and large communities across the entire province will be faced with making a decision that could have a major impact on their municipalities. The 'on-again, off-again' controversial topic of Sunday shopping has again been thrust into the limelight, this time by a Provincial Government who 'passed the buck,' by throwing the touchy decision whether to allow stores to open or not into the lap of local councils. The problem with asking the local governments to make this decision is that they are in a 'no win" situation. If the Township of Scugog council should decide to disallow Sunday shopping in Port Perry, but the councils of Oshawa and Toronto, decide to ailow stores to open Sundays, this would create a very un- fair business advantage for those stores in Oshawa and Toronto. Critics of this 'pass the buck legislation' say that Sunday restrictions for opening will fall like dominoes once one or two municipalities opt for wide- open Sunday shopping. A recent survey by the Star indicates that most stores in Port Perry are not interested in opening on Sundays, but feel they will be forced into a seven-day week as early as next year. There is no doubt that those stores who are presently open on Sundays do attract a lot of tourists, or out-of-town business on the seventh day, and Port Perry's main street is almost as busy on Sunday afternoon as it is on Saturday. Plans by the Ontario Government to introduce legislation allowing local municipalities to regulate Sunday openings early in the new year, could have a detrimental effect on those local stores already opening. If Scugog council is forced to make a decision on Sunday opening, unless there is a change of heart, or some very strong evidence presented to them that the stores should be allowed to open, it is doubtful that they would give the green light to unlimited Sun- day openings. I say this because it was less than two years ago that Scugog Township refused to support a bid by the local Chamber of Commerce to allow any store in Port Perry to remain open on Sundays. This unanimous vote by council at that time not to support the request was made by the same six councillors who will be sitting in the council chambers for another year. Should the local council pass a by-law NOT allowing Sunday opening, it is quite likely that they would have to enforce the rule strictly, and those businesses who are now enjoying the revenues of Sunday may be forced to close. : On the other hand, should council have a "change of heart," and throw Sunday shopping wide- open, many stores who do not want to open could be forced into opening because their competition is - open. Either way, local councils are going to be the "'scape-goat" for the Liberals, who have taken the "chicken-way-out" on this very controversial subject. Should this legislation be passed by the Province, my sympathies are with the members of councils around the province who are going to have to deal with their voters first hand. Let's not forget .... 1988 is an election year! GLign