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WEP en ATT ne ™ La ammmdil AM | WELL I ST EY mr ------ a 6 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, December 22, 1987 ONE WOMAN'S VIEW by Chris Carlisle Got a really unusual Christmas card the other day, postmarked the North Pole. Turns out it was from Rudolph, who has taken up a new hobby-writing. '"This is a little something I scratched out last summer," he wrote me. 'Thought you might like to run it in your column. Might give the boys and girls something to think about. Santa's not getting any younger, you know." Who am I to say no to Rudolph? Here it is: -- "Santa! What's happened? Your skin is as red as your suit!" Mrs. Claus worried about what she saw--and with Christmas only two weeks away. "You're sick!" "How will I ever get all these toys delivered? My skin's on fire and I've got no energy. I pick up just one little dolly and I'm huffing and puffing." Santa unbuttoned his red wool workshirtiand pointed to the mass of red spots all over his chest. "Bad enough the acid rain dulled Rudolph's nose and all the silver bells on the sleigh. Now I've got the measles." But it wasn't the measles, the Elf Doctor said later. "He's old. He's overworked. The world's popula- tion has grown to five billion and it's just too much for the old guy. Between defense missiles firing at the sleigh and airborne chemical spills and the acid rain and snow, the poor old fella's developed an allergy to modern Christmas." Mrs. Claus spilled her tray of Christmas tree cookies all over the floor. : "Santa, allergic to Christmas! Impossible!" But it was true. Poor old Santa was scratching and sneezing at just the mention of a single tin drum. Still, he tried to carry on, but the allergy robbed him of his breath and energy. Christmas was heading for disaster. "What can we do?" Mrs. Claus asked the Elf Doctor. "You'll have to fill in for him." "But I've never driven a sleigh!" "It's the Twentieth Century. Women can do everything a man can. And you'll get equal pay for work of equal value. All those cakes and cookies and snacks on kitchen tables..." RUDOLPH"S STORY "I don't care about that. What about Santa? He's getting worse by the day. Is there no cure?" The Elf Doctor sucked on his chocolate pipe, then said: "The way I see it, Santa's burnt out. Year in, year out, he slaves to deliver presents and what does he get? Never a letter of thanks. Just more and more demands for toys. There's no room on the old sleigh for all the toys anymore and he can't afford a new one. He's worried about disappointing all the boys and girls and not sure at all that the toys will even be finished what with all the work stoppages and labor problems in the workshop. But..." ""There's hope?" . "If he gets a break. He needs love and apprecia- tion. The kids should give him a present for a change. Tell him all they want for Christmas is for him to get better. If all the kids sent that request in their letters..." "But the mail strike! No letter are getting through." They decided to call a press conference and plead with the children to find the old Christmas spirit and the joy of giving instead of receiving. "Think of Santa this year,"" Mrs. Claus pleaded. "Ask only that he get better." Christmas Eve was tense. Mrs. Claus has agreed to drive the sleigh arid she prayed the boys and girls would cooperate. The Elf Doctor warned that even one selfish child making demands for toys could be disasterous because poor Santa would be devastated to think he'd disappointed the child. It could kill the poor man. : After shining up Rudolph's nose as best they could, they took off. Mrs. Claus struggled with reins while Santa sneezed and scratched and wanted to take over the driving, but he was just too tired. And poor Santa was beside himself because he knew there were nowhere near enough toys on the sleigh for everyone. He grew weaker and sadder and more it- chy and more red with every mile. What would he do when the toys ran out? All those disappointed boys and girls...He clutched at his chest. (Turn to page 9) Letters Farms vs subdivisions (From page 5) competitive." For Council to be able to resist pressures for random or strip development in farming areas it needs to be supported when faced with such decisions. There were over 20 people, mostly farmers, pre- sent at Monday's meeting. This type of support needs to continue. We are certainly not against growth in Scugog. However, we hope that Council can continue to develop our Township in such a way that the in- terests of the farming industry and community are not threatened. George Gadanidis, R.R.1, Port Perry. Before you send it, seal it. . with a Christmas Seal! Join the fight against lung disease 1 HI ¥! UNG ASSOCIATION Lungs are tor hte THE ¥ LUNG ASSOCIATION bung: ae ko bie deemed "offensive."' The proposed anti-porn bill is repressive and Victorian in nature, clumsy, badly worded, and at best it will only serve to drive the evil kinds of pornography further underground. What it will do is make a lot of artists, film makers, writers and publishers in this country very skittish, and it will make a lot of money for a few lawyers. If this Bill is passed, the courts could be clogged with charges under its provisions. Typically Canadian, small minded in scope, reactionary and prudish, the Bill attempts to destroy the gnat of pornography with 100 tons of TNT. Just who was it who said not too many years ago that the state has no place in the bedrooms of the nation? Where is he when we really need him? Vi point (From page 5) parents discovered a book on the curriculum that the parent Random Jottings by J. Peter Hvidsten BAD INTERSECTION L3 Janice Holtby of Prince Albert is "right-on" with her comments about the U-Turn situation at the east end of Queen Street. In a letter to the editor last week Janice says that the intersection at the corner of Water and Queen Street is dangerous because of cars making their U-Turns in the middle of the road, and we have to agree whole-heartedly. Just because it has been a tradition to do U- Turns at this corner for years and years, does not mean that it is not time to change the practice. Twenty years ago, even ten years ago, Port Perry did not have to contend with the amount of traffic it does today on its streets, and it can only get worse as the town continues to grow . This year alone there have been over 300 new Homes built in the township, and add to that anoth- er two hundred homes in 1986 and you can see that Port Perry is no longer a small, quaint little vil- lage. It's time for council to take a serious look at this corner, and perhaps ban the U-Turns that are pres- ently allowed. | realize that there have not been very many ac- cidents at this corner to date, but why wait until one happens, and it is too late to rectify the damage it could do. Over the years | have had quite a few narrow misses, a few that put my heart in my throat. Thank- fully I have never been hit, or have never hit anyone at that corner, but | would be happy to give up the convenience of making a U-Turn if | thought for one moment it would make the corner safer for pe- destrians and traffic alike. Mrs. Holtby suggested in her letter last week that anyone who has had a near-miss write in and give the details to the Star. We would welcome those letters as they may be the evidence that is needed to help rectify this situation. On the other hand, if you are of the opposite opinion about the corner, let us know your reasons. If they are strictly because it is convenient, or that there has always been a U-Turn allowed at Water and Queen Street that won't hold much water. But, if you have some valid reasons that we have not been able to think of, 'by all means make them known to us. | At any rate, nothing will change at the corner for a while, so when you are driving or walking in that vi- cinity, please be careful, and keep an eye out for those U-Turns. THE MAD RUSH Well we're down to the last few days before Christmas, and as ususal, I've left my shopping until the last minute.....in fact the very last minute! | promised myself over a month ago that | wouldn't get into the "last minute rush rut" again, but you can be sure that when Christmas Eve rolls around this Thursday, I'll be running around the streets looking for those last few gifts. One thing is for sure, and it's a small consola- tion, | know there will be plenty of other "last minut- ers" running around with me. We see it every year right here at the Star when they come through the door with that blank look on their face. This is the time when a good merchandiser can really take advantage of the shopper because they are so desparate. They walk through the door with perspiration (more like a cold sweat) oh their brow, and run from shelf to shelf trying to come up with some last minute gifts that when wrapped will look like they have been carefully selected with that one person in mind. "Little will the receiver of the gift know it was bought out of sheer desperation". | don't have much else to buy, but I'll be out there next week, so don't get in my way! SANTA VISITS We were fortunate to have Santa Claus visit us at our home one night last week, and it was indeed a great experience for the youngsters. From the moment he walked through the door with his bright red suit and a jolly Ho! Ho! Ho! he was the centre of attraction for Matthew, Jason, Justin and David. Turn to page 8 i