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PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, June 7 1988 -- 5 by John B. McClelland A lot of people around Port Perry are still steam- ing about an article which appeared in the June is- sue of "Toronto," a magazine which comes in the Globe and Mail newspaper. The article, in case you still haven't read it is by Paul Kaihla, and it is called "They Neighbour's Life," sub-titled "The Bottom Line on keeping up with your next-door Joneses." The article makes some rather unflattering com- ments about Port Perry. | won't go into great detail (see Randon Jottings by Peter Hvidsten in this is- sue of the Port Perry Star for some examples) ~ Anyway, it turns out the article was written with tongue in cheek by Mr. Kaihla. If you think the refer- ences to Port Perry are less than flattering, here's what he said about entertainment in Markham. "Markhamite social life is kinky at the margins; af- ter a dinner at the Deer Park Inn in Stouffville, our couple might plug in an adult video.at home. For a birthday, X-rated cakes shaped like torsos and geni- talia from the House of Cakes are popular." Whew. That's pretty heavy stuff. | understand there are a few people in Markham who failed to see the humour in this. But back to the references to Port Perry. One local businessman was so riled, he immediately got on the phone to the editor of this magazine, who told him the article was in jest, a spoof. However, the editor would not give the address or home phone number of the writer, a free-lancer, by the way. | like a good spoof as much as the next guy. In A occasions at April 1. And this magazine piece is a good one. Only problem is that anyone reading it quickly might just take it as gospel. The subtelties throughout are clever and quite subtle. It is easy to see why some people in Port Perry, Markham and Brampton are upset at what they read. Probably the less said about this article the bet- ter. The local businessman who phoned the editor told me he wants to turn any negative vibes into positive ones by inviting Mr. Kaihla to visit Port Per- ry, shop in the local stores, go out to lunch and din- ner, and maybe even take a cruise on the lake in a Chris-Craft. | wonder if this writer would be willing to accept. SOUTHPAWS What will the researchers of this world do next. | was intrigued by an article in a daily paper last week which relates the findings of University of British Columbia psychologists. By studying 1700 former big-league baseball pitchers, they found that the righties lived on aver- age eight months longer than the southpaws. None of the 236 lefties lived to be 90. Big deal, you say. Grist for the file of useless in- formation. Not quite, especially if you are among the 5% per cent of the population who are left-handed. The researchers suggest there may be a couple of reasons why southpaws don't live as long as righties. Being left-handed may be connected with hor- mones, which in turn may somehow reduce the bodys ability to fight off disease. 'he researchers are also exporing the theory that left-handers get eaten up by the right-handed technology of the world. All the tools and machines, which are designed exclusively for right-handed use may result in acci- dent or death when used by lefties, to the point where accidental death for this reason may be statit- ically important. What they have proven, statistically, at least, is that lefties have far more accidents (stitches, brok- en bones, etc) than those who are right-handed. Not exactly a comforting thought for those of you who throw a football from the port side. Years ago, I'm told that grade one teachers would make a determined effort to change a young student from left to right hand; actually force the child to start printing with his or her left hand. That practise fell out of favour in the schools as being un-necessary. Maybe the new research will bring it back in vogue in the school system. IN CLOSING | used to get a little tired of all those stories of boat-loads of "refugees" coming into Canada via the back door by simply showing up on our coast- line in the middle of the night. A lot of Canadians think those "refugees" should be put back on the next boat out of here. I'm not so sure.When people are willing to hand over their life's savings, climb aboard a leaky freight- er for a six day voyage by sea and stumble ashore in a strange land in the middle of the night, it tells you something about them. And it sure as heck tells you something about this country. fact, I've done just that in this paper on a couple of Yesterday's Memories 70 YEARS AGO Thursday, June 6, 1918 Council concluded that they could worry along with a tax rate of 32 mills on the dollar. This in reality is lower than usual because there is a war tax of about 5% mills. Pte. Ransome Bell was one of the Guard of Honour when the King visited Witley Camp a short time ago. In a baseball game between Uxbridge and Port Perry, Guy Raines hit two home run drives into the right field bleachers. The score ended Port Perry 17 - Uxbridge 3. 45 YEARS AGO Thursday, June 3, 1943 Dr. W.A. Sangster received a letter stating that he had been made an honorary member of the Royal College of Dental Surgeons of Ontario. Dr. Sangster has been in practice 50 years in Ontario. In a period of only two years and three months the Epsom puch Ci has sent in a total of $728.50 to the British War Vic- tim's Fund. 35 YEARS AGO Thursday, June 4, 1953 Milt Butson of the Port Perry Rod and Gun Club won the prize of quality at the Carp Derby when he landed a 14 pounder. Milt also had ten nice carp ranging from 3 to 5 pounds. Officers for the Lions Club 1953-54 season are as follows: Pres. - Stan Bruton; 1st Vice-Pres. - Archie Farmer; 2nd Vice- Pres. - Ivan Haugan; 3rd Vice-Pres. - Irving Boyd. 30 YEARS AGO Thursday, June 5, 1958 The new Brewers Retail Store just west of Port Perry open- ed on June 2. - Jeanne Willliams was presented with the highest honour a girl guide can receive. "The Gold Cord." Presentation was made by Mrs. D.R. Gunn, Deputy Provincial Commissioner. 20 YEARS AGO Thursday, June 6, 1968 The Hospital Building Fund received a boost when the Port Perry High School presented a gigantic cheque for $576.68 to Joel Aldred, campaign chairman. This money was raised during a recent student walk-a-thon to Port Perry-Seagrave return. Help- ing with the presentation were Raymond Hillier, Miss Purvis, Muriel Bryant and Mr. J.C. Barton. Miss Margaret Stewart, Lilla Street, Port Perry, has been awarded a Centennial Medal. Miss Stewart, a registered nurse, (Turn to page 6) Letters Consider issues before speaking To The Editor: May I suggest to the author of last week's Letter to the Editor opposing Oak Meadows, along with other opponents of the development, that they carefully consider the issues thoroughly before speaking out. First of all, if you're as fiscally minded as you claim, you would object to developments north of Port Perry on good farmland, not to Oak Meadows which will be on = poor farmland. If developers are allowed to continue consuming workable farms, then your grocery bill will escalate accordingly! Sexuality and Church To The Editor: The controversy over whether or not homosexuals should be or- dained as United Church of Canada clergy is not the main issue raised in the report "Toward a Christian Understan- ding of Sexual Orientation, Lifestyles, and Ministry", but on- ly the tip of the iceberg. The issue goes deeper than the ordination of homosexuals. The main issue, the one that ° does not get the press is what the United Church teaches about sex- ual morality. The key recommendation of the report is this: '"We acknowledge that heterosexual, gay, and les- bian adults can engage in sexual behaviour within a committed relationship with the intention of permanence that is morally responsible. The standards for discerning whether sexual behaviour is morally responsible are the same irrespective of orientation or marital status." That recommendation ap- proves a far different understan- ding of sexual morality than that which the church has traditional- ly taught. Our teaching always has been that sexual intimacy which is moral within marriage is immoral outside of marriage. Also our teaching and practice is that there is no marriage between people of the same sex. The above recommendation of the report seeks to change these teachings. The United Church of Canada has come to the point where a basic decision must be made. Does the United Church teach morals and standards that are Christian or simply those that the church feels will make it more ac- (Turn to page 6) Secondly, you can't be serious quoting the cost of building a school as a major reason for op- posing the development? When was the last time a school was built to service a development of 31 houses? Thirdly, the cost of maintaining the one additional road for Oak Meadows will be considerably less than that for larger developments in the area which have been approved. Oak Meadows is targeted at the ime home buyer. It is well p d and organized. It is an ideal opportunity for the young people of Scugog and of Durham Region to afford houses. It will not cost other taxpayers money as you claim.. More tax dollars will be collected than if the site re- mains vacant. It makes sense. If you are trying to think of a logical, rational reason to oppose the development, you'll be "'think- ing" for a long, long time! Yours truly, Rodney Dewell. to the editor. Letters to the Editor ... our policy It has always been the policy of this newpspaper to encourage our readers to make use of the letters to the editor column. Our readers have a right to freely express their opinions and view- points on just about any subject, and we feel that a lively letters column helps make a better community newspaper. We insist, however, that a letter writer sign his or her name. On rare occasions, we will agree to with-hold publication of a letter writer's name, if we feel there are very good reasons to do so. Under no circumstances will this paper print an anonymous letter While we enjoy receiving letters from our readers, we must con- tinue to insist on knowing the identity of the writer. Tan by cm. a og. A a PO a Ty ws, Vp ----