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mle LE RE 8 C20 BEST AVAILABLE COPY Ho PORT PERRYCSTR -- Toesday/ Juke 771989 Th 4 | . 5 PD Bap by . Craig Nicholson * (c. 1988 All Rights Reserved) WASTE Vi ape It used to be trash, Which I pitched at the dump. Now it's' waste and I'm supposed to manage it. It's a sad commentary and marks the erosion of yet another cherished foundation of , our society. SU , Lior oat " Ireceived my new. dump card from the township. The good old days of the "community exchange' when I could socialize while picking over someone else's digcarded junk are now numbered. Vanishing is the trading ritual.of parked pick ups, shuttling stuff around from flatbed to flatbed without it ever be- ing actually thrown out. This should mean a big boom in flea markets, those places where one gets to pay for what can be pick- § ed up for free at the dump. And ie whi ground has a sales 2 rer tax army cheering the death of this unde ground econoray. Its is, however, a sad day for archeologists 0 Vix e future. It also heralds the end of bear watching at dusk, skunk avoidance at dawh and fly dodging adfnfinitum. Also, crows; smells, dust and squishy things undetfoot. In keeping with": ; | ® modern waste management techniques, each of these is also be- unland Band promises |~=EtEns ou : \ : : 4 8 A 1 Rr oad 8 1 remember the dayiI put trash and laundry in different green bags. 'And threw. out the wrong one by mistake. Ir- retrievable now withrestricted access. Then I spent an unplea- sant hour rooting around in the dump, now Pd have to wash 'n', ® ® ] ~ 8 wear my garbage. Some choice. TI of 0 & i 0 } (1 ivd Ss No more taking the neighbours garbage as a favour; you A Z BE RY A | BE A BR 2 might be accused of overdumping or dump card fraud. Besides, who knows what illegal substances your neighbour might be try: . LL . ing to smuggle in? ; . : : Hoy kids! Pack up your par- traditional favourites to please - Don't miss the fun ofthe Fun. §- :. The dump has become a fortress. Now there are gates, ents and head to themainFesti- everyone. > land Band. It's tremendous en- §. fences and guards. The young ones are called dumpsters. I hear val Tent Friday July 14 to see The Funland Band features tertainment, and it's atthe Fes- they are training attack bears to keep illegal dumpers out.and: the Funland Band! keyboards, guitar, drums and tival Tent, Friday July 14 legal dumpers under control. This is a strange idea: I've never: The show promises to be the strong vocals which combine to startingat 1p.m. : seen the dump as any kind of Mecca or suddenly been seized by. highlight of Great Britain Festi- create a unique children's con- The show is sure to be a sell- any wild, uncontrollable urges while dumping. Maybe there have val Days fun forkids. .-. 'temporarysound..- = out soget your. tickets now. ($4 been line ups of raving Junatics when I wasn't looking. The Funland Band is quickly You will be captivated by the per child--adults are free if And there's more -- recycling; biodegradable everything and: becoming one of the most popu- _ Funland Band's lovgable char- _ they're accompanied \ aghildh pay per bag. Soon: will be refuse rationing: consume as; Jar children's performing 'acters, Mumfrey, Woofér and "at these Fort Perry focatlo 2: 8 mich as you want, but'you only get to throw out one bag per groups. The show for children Boogabee. This musical experi- Bruton's IDA Drugs, Lake Scu- week. Think of the possibilities -- people shot trying to sneak from ages two to 10 has reached enceisup, fun and positive with gog Lumber, Stedmans, and Se- their extra bags into neighbouring cans; the introduction of the out to the hearts of all, promot- a high degree of participation lections Men's Wear. one ton Glad bag; a black market in trash; coffins large enough ing fun, love and happiness from the audience. to accommodate both the body and a. lifetime's hoard of un~ through music and fantasy. : ny B dumped garbage; demand for extra large safety deposit boxes; ne Band Jag oes fasiired ] : a ------ __-.. |B refuse fashions, furniture and fuel; La Lr i at major festivals, » - ce So net LE ga obscure aunt; an even greater depression triggered consumer tions, schools, malls and more. a : ; po oF © ; bh Lan reluctance to 'anything that isn't' ranteed to disappear on CTV, an Several local television stations. BARRISTERS & SOLICITORS a nd waste saga Geen a eomandd. 10 sort metal and ea has pro. | Saturday Mornings - 9:00 a.m. to 12-noon ale hat hoe sich. Who ses a elon wait ee Tv Ry Band to | ake Scugog Lumber Building ~~ 985 7301 | Hide ae ee campetibon heats up, they! (416) ~1JJ4 | throwing ios 1 A] Their live show incorporates Oshawa Rd., Port Perry be thr 'out half empties, then full bottles)' RE a blend of original songs and L : . : }" 7 Tused my box the day it was delivered. Dutifully, I washed : : .ofat the dog faod ©: and set it out. By the entl of the day, nothing | 'hadbeen pick up. Thinking they were getting pretty choosey; 5. 1 peeled off all the labéls that I had tried to sneak by and set git out again the oy wiek. Thoin Paes i i) What wgs 1:doipg wrong? Why 'was my garbage eing re "jected? Auk it big Wrong? Meni atiough? Ordetly enough? What were the rieighbotirs thinking? 1tried different tines and positions; I scrubbed arid polished the cans, stacked them'in neat 'gleaming rows and;pfaced the box out with all the precision of my hewly agquired waste manageme if Bill Nothing gon rg © (mweroor | OD - 20 pc. family feast BIGFOOT 4 ha : oe 'Cheese Pizza 7 199.99 plus 1.20 pot add. item taste is when ama bringz home BIGFOOT ciaNT {/ : \ : | - 28 pieces Sa Vig Monster Cheese Pizza PIZZK {ram Square Yoy Si J RL! Sales Tax Extra plus 1,75 per add. item Extra Chéese $2.00 80 WATER ST. | GT $250 PORT PERRY = BOT Free Delivery In Town Only = 985-8448 ~ snobs garbage mer, er, sanitafiyjengi Maybe Blue Boxés ae only for Labatt's éh A failure at lite, 1 bought more an appointment with a psychiatrist to, © BY] waste rejection: I POI ed cash bribe. = 7 & Finally I swallowed my pride and phoned: gublic works to pléad for acceptance, I explait ed that 1 was really a pice per- son-and how tenderly { had handled and re-handled my ca Why they were:almost recycled already! Only to be informe that if 1 could also tead, the pgmphlet attached:to the Blue Box stated that fie pick up programme didp't start until'ten days hence. So aside from embarrassment, exércisé arid enough silve polish to shine all my fish hooks, my first waste manageme experience netted a fat zero.!: |. ono ono F | .. But it did make me think. To avoid unnecessary sorting, § - packaging, tying, carrying, 'and grovelling. before. gecyrity guards recruited from Canada Customs, 1 have trimmed my con- { sumption and changed some buying habits. I carry my dum { 'card proudly beside Visa and use it more wisely. I started a LW post heap which the.dogs love. Lam Sat grl B Sure, garbage isn't as carefree as it used to be, but th : neigher am 1. It's time I did my bit for the environment and wasfi management is a simple start. The wife says that for a r «challenge 1 should consider waist mansagenient, but' am tox 'polite to ask whether he mes ng ming or ners 5