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a Intrepid '20 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, July 11, 1989 | Cottager by "ERR ENT TT gute Craig Nicholson (c. 1988 All Rights Reserved) INSECTS | bane, which she shares gladly. : to be fed and that's where they get my attention. away, doused, loused and housed, there's no peace to be had. 3; So out of self preservation I join the fray. . devices on the market than the CIA has spooks. The second is . posed to eliminate. And none are cheap. The result is an unpaid . psychological war that is not winnable. _ wives and bugs, and that husbands will buy anything to avoid | being bugged. Also, there's some small satisfaction in feeling . that you are actually DOING something. 3 The war is like going to battle with a flintlock against high || tech weaponry. For some reason the bugs have the tech. Maybe | they have the budget because they live so cheap. Or because they | can amortize the costs over a hoard of millions. Or because they | have collaborated with the manufacturers. : and money. that no one has marketed a safe, inexpensive pro- | duct that with one simple use will eliminate bugs. They seem | ferent product for each species of bug. Like movie stars each | with their own fragrance. I am compelled to buy a whole new § from last year. And in return, I suspect that the bugs have agreed © duration. So I ante up for metal traps which require a tool kit to open | and a gooey liquid that sticks everything to everything but ants. | them. : For house flies, defined as those that get in doors, I purchase | strips that I'm always walkin into, vapour blocks whose smell | makes me sick and spray which fogs up the window panes. : All the other flies, defined as those few that are not lucky | enough to have got in that time the door opened, I squish with my bare hands, inhale or drown in my drink. Horse flies, nam- ed by size not according to meal preference, only attack me in the canoe or floating on the raft. I have inflicted more self | damage with missed swats than injury to these pests. ing to discourage their nests on my property. Smoke, fire and long distance spray bombs each have their place as does the snorkel and mask that I wear for back up, always keeping the shortest route to the lake in mind. If one gets in the house, I just leave until it dies of old age. t I spend the summer smelling of Deep Woods Off or Musk Oil or both. Hardly a romantic aroma except to mosquitos. But the wife wears it and so do the dogs and soon we don't even notice each other anymore. Like when everybody eats garlic. With coils, smudge pots and bug lights, the place is a real delight to be around. But no more than yours truly the summer I tried not bathing as the ultimate repellant. The wife said it worked for her. The dogs tried to roll in me. The mosquitos stayed away, but I cleaned up when I began to attract flies. As for the other massed insect hoards hovering about out- side, I have capitulated except for the electric bug zapper which can't hold its own but sounds great trying. I still get a kick out of crunching June bugs under foot as long as I'm wearing shoes. The Martins left me for classier digs down the bay and now the dragon flies are my last natural defense. For unnatural defense I have long sleeve turtle necks and gloves which are great for weight loss in ninety degree weather. Then there's the bug hats that mat the hair and make spitting sloppy. Together this ensemble is cumbersome and not recom- mended for greeting new neighbours. _ The wife's solution to the bug menance is good screens and staying inside all summer. Who am I to argue with someorie who swells to mump proportions at every bite? So last year I expand- ed the wife's great outdoors with a screened gazebo attached to the house - a truly bug proof arrangement. After labouring all day to sew, tape, nail, stick, fold and staple all potential bug entrances, I proudly announced that her sanctum was ready - 'No bug will ever get inside!" I declared. She went into the gazebo to admire my handy work and ex- claimed: "And if any bugs do get in, honey, this bird will eat (Turn to page 21) Insects are the bane of my existence. Or at least the wife's : = Generally, I find bugs easy to ignore. After all, they don't : | take up much space, get sick or need petting. They are hard to . | play with. And they are cheap to have around. But they do need = n Not that they feed much on me, but the wife is prime meat. ~~ Her anti-bug antics are a sight to behold. By the time she has : wrapped up, rubbed down, sprayed around, swatted about, run The first thing I learned is that there are more anti-bugging | that all of them are much bigger than the pests they are sup- | | Visa balance and a huge clutter of bug stuff. Bug stuff for a { The psychological part is that manufacturer's know about For instance, I am suspicious with all of our genius, research § © to be immune. I wonder about the fact that I have to buy a dif- ¢ || supply of pest stuff each spring regardless. of what's left over : to stay away from the homes of the manufacturers for the : = Place each "where the ants are" and watch the dogs try to eat § | swatters whose heads always fly off into the salad, dangling : Wasps and hornets I leave pretty much alone except for try- Competition was noisy! Blackstock and Area News by Joyce Kelly The annual Tractor and Truck pull with all its noise and excite- ment turned out to be very suc- cessful. Many classes had very keen competition which created much interest among the large audiences. A good number of modified vehicles which customarily tour the North American circuit were in atten- dance on Friday evening. Thank you to the many people who helped in so many ways. Edith Larmer of Verden, Manitoba is visiting relatives in this community and especially her first cousin Edna Larmer. She attended the Larmer reunion at Tyrone on Sunday afternoon along with Florence Larmer, Ralph Larmer, Glenn and Marion Larmer. Marie Gibson along with her daughters Anne, Grace and Eleanor and Alma Duff held a Graham family bridal shower in honour of Debbie Graham of Millbrook on Saturday afternoon held at the Gibson home. After Debbie opened her many lovely gifts she. thanked everyone. A social time was enjoyed over a delicious lunch. A Jack and Jill Dance was held in honour of Jim Weir and Liz Luke at the Nestleton Hall on Saturday evening when a good number of friends and relatives joined to wish them well in their future together. On Sunday afternoon Rika Wygerde hosted a bridal shower in honour of Sandra Little. After : - thebride opened her many useful and beautiful gifts Sandi replied fittingly. A social time was enjoyed. Sympathy is extended to Mr. and Mrs. Grant Thompson on the passing of Mrs. Thompson's sister Mrs. Naylor of Beaverton last week. Neil .and Kathy McLaughlin entertained a large number of family and friends on Friday evening to a barbecue celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary at their home. A family bridal shower in honour of Elizabeth Luke and Jim Weir was held at the home of the Bride's parents Lois and Harold Luke on Sunday afternoon. About thirty Reader family members gathered for a noon picnic after which the shower was held. After the bride and groom had opened the gifts they replied fittingly. A social time was enjoyed. Sympathy is extended to Barb and Grant Larmer and family on the passing of Barb's father John McMillan who passed away last week. Congratulations to several families who have had new baby boys recently - to Doug and Joyce Larmer, the Frendo-Cumbo fami- ly on Sunrise Drive and Glenn and Toys needed Festival Days are just around the corner so be sure to stop at the new Scugog Toy Lending Library booth. Find out more information about this exciting new project by stopping by our display on July 15th from 10:00 a.m. t0 3:00 p.m.. Any people having new or slightly used toys to donate to our cause can drop them off at this time. Any donations would be greatly appreciated. Janis McCoy all of whom have welcome baby sons to join the sisters in their families. Best wishes to all or you. Alex and Addie Hillock of Jed- do, Michigan spent the weekend with their cousins Gerald and Joyce Kelly, Elaine, and Esther. While here they visited their other "Toms" cousins, attended the Tractor Pull and the Kelly Open House. On Sunday afternoon a large number of relatives and friends from many points attended the Open House in honour of Gerald Sharpen Sharpen up your darts and Britain Festival Days. Sponsore Last year the tournament over by 5 p.m. category. morning. Quality & Satisfaction 45 YEARS OF PERSONAL SERVICE for dart tourney your aim, and get ready for Saturday's second annual Dart Tournament, during Great by the Scugog Chamber of Commerce and Thompson/Odyssey Vacations, the dart tourney will be held at the Thompson/Odyssey Barley Mow Pub (the Latcham Centre, at the lakefront in Port Perry). you've been thinking of entering this year, make sure you register early--registration takes place Saturday, 10 a.m., at the pub. The tournament starts at 11 a.m. and should be There are three categories: Men's Single, and 3) Ladies Single. The registration fee for each event is $5. Cash prizes will go to the winners in each The tourney will be licensed, ain's most popular beers, and the Senior Citizens Club is helping serve up some fantastic Pgh grub (like steak pies, sausage rolls, scotch eggs, pickled e noon on. Doughnuts and coffee will be available in the So if you think you're hot stuff when it comes to dart throwing, bring your darts and your mates to the Barley Mow Pub, this Saturday, and plan on a good time. UXBRIDGE MEMORIAL assured by our own Written Guarantee 852-3 108 BROCK ST. WEST 0a mone s wo, BROTHERS and Joyce Kelly's Silver Wedding Anniversary held at the Blackstock United Church C.E. Room. Following the Open House quite a number of cousins, fami- ly members and friends joined us for an informal meal and a fur- ther visit. A large number of local residents took part in the annual Orange Walk held on Saturday afternoon in Port Perry. Many others enjoyed watching this event which has not been held in Port Perry for many years. Remember the Jack and Jill dance for Robert Green and Sue Fraser which will be held Sat. Ju- ly 15, at the Blackstock Rec. Centre. up aim was a huge success, so if 1) Blind Draw Doubles, 2) featuring four of Great Brit- ggs and salads) from A MEMORIALS OF DISTINCTION CEMETERY LETTERING & RENOVATIONS CUSTOM DESIGNING & LETTERING 14'2 KING ST. E., #201, . OSHAWA, ONT. L1H 1A9 DRIVING SCHOOL A Division of Paul Chapman Enterprises (Durham) Inc. 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