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"You have to know who -- and what -- you're auditioning for," for real life as well as for the stage. So mused Faith Monaghan, a.k.a. Ottawa's Heather Esdon in her tragi-comedic one-woman tour de farce "Big Girls Don't Cry" performed at the Town Hall on February third. Realistic, relevant, and reveal- ing, Esdon's literate script allow- ed Town Hall 1873 concert patrons an intimate look into the bit- tersweet life of a weighty would- fitting-in -- either her jeans...or her life. Buffet the show was, but no mere confection. There was soulfood in quantity. The au- dience also learned of Faith's grievous loss of her confidante Megan, the bulemic, of Faith's fragile early love affair with "one-stop shopping' Chris, the 'cherry chocolate' in her life, and of Faith's poignant plea to counter her mother's nagging; "I know I'm a big girl now -- and Heather Esdon performs be actress preparing for a make- or-break audition. And in the ac- ting department, Esdon is no slouch either. Mounted on a one-room set, decor late Regent Park, with the water closet a prime focus, Esdon's performance began in a lively, physical, and comic man- ner. Spiced liberally with double- entendres (boyfriend Stewart's almonds are the best part of him), oxymorons "(for a perpetually depressed guy he's anoptimist)," alliterations "(life is full of sizeable surprises)' and pure poetry (slim friend Leanne resembled a "white Spandex or- chid"), Esdon's insightful patter continued uninterrupted for nine- ty minutes, keeping the audience constantly interested and entertained. Who hasn't suffered agonies over chocolate binges when dieting should have been the order of the day? Who hasn't pondered weird information on product labels? And who hasn't wrestled with wardrobe too small/too big/too dirty/too disorganized to cope? Esdon did it all as she struggled in and out of skin-tight jeans, overdone makeup, and assorted personal paraphernalia such as curlers, hairdryers, towels -- all in pursuit of ever-elusive personal perfec- tion. 'If the world would just look past my body and into my eyes," and, "life should be a buffet, with lots of tasty choices left up to me." The audience just had to root for frustrated Faith as she explored the uncertainties of that's the problem," "Lord, can you make me invisible?" However, the show was by no means maudlin, for Faith lingered just long enough on her reveries, then snapped back into her physical act, odd wardrobe, and self-deprecatory, comic tone. After winning rounds against radio-reggae's admonitions to "don't worry, be happy," and a hairdryer-induced blackout, then a short stint of 'Bible study' (Vogue, New Woman, Real Woman, et al), Faith finally departed for the dread audition to the strains of "Tears for Fears," having risen like the Phoenix from her plaintive phone-call to vanished Megan "(I don't know what to do)" to exit on the trium- phant line "Everybody wants to rule the world; keep the Faith!" "Rule the world," Faith? Well, maybe, but an earlier line sums up your show -- and your philosophy; 'maybe getting a laugh once in a while makes a refreshing change from crying." It does indeed. Big girls CAN cry -- and laugh. And Faith does have hope, after all. The appreciative Town Hall audience let Esdon know their approval with consis- tent laughter and sustained final applause. It was another successful pro- duction in the Hall's fifteenth Con- cert Series and proved to be an ideal antidote for the chill February blizzard whirling out- side. Direction of the show was by Barbara Lysnes and set by Roy " Robitschek. Earlier in the Concert Season, on December 9, Toronto's famed Elmer Iseler Singers brought a Christmas glow to the Town Hall stage. Under the direction of the incomparable Dr. Iseler, Canada's dean of choral music directors, the Singers presented their "Welcome Yule" Christmas show to a sold out crowd of en-_ thusiastic concert-goers. "One of Canada's tiny perfect halls," to borrow a phrase from singer Rob Missen (who also doubles as the Singers' agent) rang with such widely varied musical fare as Peter Dickinson's "Christmas is Coming," Vaughn Williams arrangement of "The Wassail Song," Healey Willan's version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas,"" a marvellous musical medley "A Christmas Gift From Cape Breton,' tradi- tional spirituals (tenor solo "I Ain't Got Time To Die' by Rob Missen) and, after intermission, a broad-ranging pastiche of carols interspersed with solos by sopranos Donna Colley and Judi- ty Young. Two special hits with the thrill- ed audience were baritone Nelson Lohnes' 'Song For the Mira," a mesmerizing show-stopper, and Rob Missen's novelty encore at the program's close --- a real, get- down, rockin' '"'Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town." Arrive he did -- and brought down the house. Under Dr. Iseler's intense, in- spired direction, the twenty-two voice ensemble created flawless vocal music. Perfectly shaped tones and modulations, unique and intense phrasing, peerless diction marked the Singers' presentation as they delivered their difficult and artistically chosen repertoire, much of it a a PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, February 6, 1990 -- 1 Big girls can cry -- and laugh capella and all fully focussed throughout. It was a privilege to have hosted this world-famous choral group in Port Perry. Once again, Town Hall 1873 provided a memorable musical event for its patrons. The Singers also raved about the acoustics provided by the Century Hall, and Dr. Iseler himself expressed his extreme pleasure at the success of the engagement. A repeat perfor- mance in the future? Quite possibly. Town Hall 1873's final concert will be on Sat., March 31, when The Toronto Chamber Players make their appearance. Skilled and in high demand, these in- strumentalists are sure to im- press the audience with their high-calibre and virtuosity. Tickets available in March at Ir- win Smith Music in Port Perry. AUCTION: Nine O'Clock DANCE: Nine Thirty O'Clock -- TICKETS -- COMMUNITY MEMORIAL HOSPITAL presents CANDLELIGHT & WINE A SWEETHEART EVENT Immaculate Conception Banquet Hall Highway 7A, Port Perry SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 17th, 1990 Semi-Formal Attire Master of Ceremonies - D. Jerome Taylor COCKTAILS: Six OClock in the Banquet Hall DINNER: Seven O'Clock (Six Course Dinner) Catered by Emiel's Place Catering Auctioneer Don Cochrane Music by Taylor Brothers Band A LOVELY VALENTINE GIFT IDEA FOR YOUR SWEETHEART! Tickets will be accompanied with an engraved invitation and a complimentary box of chocolates. $200.00 per couple or $100.00 per person -- available in Port Perry at-- Nuts about Chocolate, 182 Queen Street 985-0761 po Community Memorial Hospital, 451 Paxton St. 985-7321 Pine Ridge Packers, Hwy. 7A, Blackstock 986-4932 ALL PROCEEDS TO THE COMMUNITY MEMORIAL HOSPITAL BUILDING FUND An official tax receipt will be issued for a portion of the ticket price. / / /, /, 7 HOME - AT + THE LAKESIDE \) Living at the Lakeside has certain will enjoy the many wonders of the advantages most other condominium changing seasons. \) residences lack: a waterfront location. But living at the Lakeside is more § This means you can enjoy all the water than a great investment, more than an : sports most people only get to do on exciting place to live, more than \ ) summer weekends all year "round. In the waterfront locations. It's an elegant home : ' summer it's boating, water skiing, fishing and a weekend hideaway all in one. ) \) and swimming. During the winter it's Home at the Lakeside - carefree 8 skating and ice fishing. In-between you living, right on the lake. : N) \)) \ $ \ ) sures J s 00 S FROM 9 \ \ \ \ \) \) Monday to Friday: Telephone Noon to 6:00 p.m. for viewing \ Pele Saturday, Sunday pPpo - and Holidays: \ 985-4436 11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. CYNE DDE / / /, om ~-- Bat a RY --