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"A Family Tradition for 125 Years" PRESSING MIATTERS "THINGS COULD BE WORSE" Didja hear the one about the guy who sold his business {which had fully paid, 100% coverage for den- tal and health benefits}, then spent the rest of his life (and money} in a dentist's chair? Truth is often funnier than fiction...har, har. We lied to you last week: the winning walleye in "the Bugle's tournament actually weighed 9 pounds even. And for the first time ever, we didn't attend the awards ceremony. Naturally, two of our tickets were drawn for door prizes worth up to $100 each. You had to be there. Things could be worse. First draw of the day was a 10 h.p. outboard mo- tor. The guy holding the first winning ticket had given his stub to a young neighbour. The kid showed up fif- teen minutes too late. The motor eventually went to the fourth ticket drawn. Things could be worse. Much of our last two weeks was spent staring at one of those crazy crescent-shaped lights in a dentist's office. We're impressed by incredible technological ad- vancements in dentistry since our last exposure. Vast changes have taken place, but some things always lin- ger. The light over the chair for example, has been around since the first time Laura Secord took her cow for a walk. Whether a dentist can actually see much with that thing is beyond us. However , we figure anybody who comes up with a way to project advertisements on Think about it. A vacation in Tahiti would look awfully enticing under those circumstances. Aside from staring numbly at the stupid light, what else can one do while strapped into the chair? You could try grunting unintelligible responses to some of the questions posed by a dedicated profession- al who always forgets you're in no position to say any- thing. If you do respond, make sure not to say any- thing offensive while the guy's holding a high-speed drill inside your mouth. There's another aspect which hasn't changed much. Dentistry is painless, keerect? Fine and dandy. Hocum "painless" includes great big needles stuck in your gums? Not merely once or twice. Oh no. More like five or ten wicked lunges, with the dentist's arm inside your mouth up to the elbow, and the needle passing through several feet of tender gum tissue on each thrust. The most upsetting part is the joyous sparkle in the attacker's eye, as you hear: "This might cause just a noe discomfort...{cackle, cackle, cackle...stab, stab, stab.}" As reward for enduring "painless freezing," you spend the rest of the day with your tongue hanging out, your nose missing, and half of your brain floating around in the depths of Outer Space. During that period, you'll encounter every ac- quaintance who always suspected you: a} were bur- dened with a serious drug problem, or b} suffered mas- sive oxygen deprivation at birth. Other dental paraphenalia is worthy of mention. When all that stuff is jammed into the mouth, one feels like a highway construction project. Among the new discoveries is something called a "dam," which resem- bles a tiny trampoline covering the attack zone. The' dam prevents your tongue from fulfilling a craven de- sire to merge with the business end of the whirring drill. Then there's the psychological stuff. Words of en- couragement sometimes turn counter-productive. Our new-found ally in the war against alien tooth in- vaders offered up a beaut just prior to the first full-scale drilling sortie. To quote; "You might want to close your eyes, in case some of the larger pieces fly out." Larger pieces fly out? It takes a fair bit of courage not to make a break for freedom at that stage. The most important rule {in terms of behavioral avoidances after a visit to the dentist}: do not stop fora coffee to regroup your thoughts. Such thoughtless action can result in perma- nent burns to your tongue and inner cheeks, along with an amazing thermo-nuclear reaction from the rest of your body. Most of your head may be numb, but watch Mr. Temperature Gauge kick into gear when the scalding coffee roars down the wide-awake oesoph- agus. Other patrons stare in your direction. Gagging noises aside, they are alerted to your problem because half the coffee is busily dribbling down your best jacket, shirt and tie in large brown rivulets. Containment at- "tempts with your dead lower lip resemble the cleanup effort after the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Turn to Page 8 the lamp's inner surface will become a wealthy man. Lette I'S tothe editor Ready for world tour To the Editor: Well, this is it! By the time these words flow from the paper into your minds and souls I will be either in Tucson, Arizona or at least in the plane on my way to one of the most exciting and nerve-raking experiences of my life (so far). I really do not know what my year has in store for me, but sometimes, not knowing is better for you. It lends an air of mystery to my travels. This letter is to serve as a blanket thank you to all the peo- ple who supported my fundraising efforts; either by purchasing a copy of my book or sending a con- tribution or just by patting me on the back and saying 'good luck and have a great year." Whenever one individual under- takes a project, he/she must feel the support needed. As I travel the world, performing wherever the plane lands, the bus parks, or the boat docks, I will be taking a feeling of a proud citizen of Scugog Township. Well, I have to get ready to go now, I will try to keep everyone posted in this fashion but I am not promising anything. Take care, everyone and may you all have a happy and healthy year. Sincerely yours, Michael Green Not so great a job To the Editor: You may think that you did a great job covering the Festival Days, however, I am one of the many who enjoyed the music of the 'Golden Slippers' on Queen Street on Friday. The street was Thanks for coverage To the Editor: Just a note to let you know that we appreciated your notices in the Port Perry Star advertising our Myrtle Church Beef Barbecue. It was a great success, and we cleared $1600 to start off our fur- nace fundraiser. Thanks for your co-operation. Sincerely, Anne Franklin, Secretary, Myrtle Church packed with people. Perhaps you can explain why they never get much coverage by the Star (I never saw anything in your paper about them after the Canada Day BBQ either, and they drew a crowd there as well.) While I en- joy pictures of children and dogs, do we really need so many. I can understand that this type of music might not appeal to your young reporters, but it is evident that it does to many in this town and other areas as well. This is proven by their ap- pearances at both the Ex in Toronto and at Roy Thompson Hall. They are all long time residents and supporters of the Star, and I think that it is sad that they may have to turn elsewhere for publicity. Yours truly, Helen Hope R.R.3, Port Perry Remember When ? Ke HISTORIC PHOTOS COURTESY SCUGOG SHORES MUSEUM 00, i SAE jadi: tcl A view of Queen Street looking toward Lake Scugog from Perry Street, back In the days of Street Dances during the 1930s. Note the three "Gasoline Bowsers' In front of Archer Motor Sales selling gas at 25¢ per gallon (5.5¢ litre), which is now the home of the Royal Bank. 45 YEARS AGO Thursday, July 18, 1946 A letter from Mr. Robert Johnston, chairman for National Clothing collection to S. Farmer, editor of the Star states that almost five tons of good used clothing had been collected from Port Perry and area and sent to headquarters in Toronto and should be a blessing to the stricken people of Europe. Port Perry was a busy place even 35 years ago. Under Editorial Comments, Mr. Farmer writes four big events were to take place in as many weeks, Lions Club Carnival, Business Men's Association Sport Day, the unveiling of Palmer Memorial by the Chiropractic Association of America being among the events. 38 YEARS AGO Thursday, July 19, 1956 The local bowlers have to forego their games for two weeks, due to the flooding of the greens by the many rainstorms. The International Plowing Match is being held in Brooklin and many people are hard at work planning for the big event. Grace United Church held their annual bazaar and the sum of two hundred and twenty five dollars was realized. Mrs. Gladys Archer and Miss Catherine Christie motored to Montreal to meet Dr. and Mrs. A.G. Christie, who have spent the past two months on the continent. 30 YEARS AGO Thursday, July 20, 1961 Miss Donna Johnson, teacher at Port Perry High School was chosen Ontario County Dairy Princess for 1961. She topped six other contestants at the Whitby Agricultural and Industrial Show. The Warden of Northumberland and Durham PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 10