"A Family Tradition for 125 Years" PORT PERRY STAR - Tuesday, August 20, 1991 - 31 Home away from home Service provides rest for handicapped and family By Gillian Barfoot You deserve a break today' isn't just for free-wheeling fam- ilies heading to the nearest fast food joint. It's also for the ones who are tied to their homes either be- cause of a handicap or a family member with a handicap. That's where the Durham Association for Family Respite Services comes in. Its mandate is to give the care-givers -- and the family member with the handicap -- a well-deserved break. "This is a desperately needed service. It fills a huge void in the community," says Mary Wilson, the recently appointed co-ordinator of volunteers. "It's a win, win, win situa- tion," she explains. The indi- viduals with the handicap get a vacation, their family or care- giver gets a break, and the vol- unteer/host family gets a posi- tive feeling about handicaps. "For the family that's the vol- unteer, it's an opportunity to see the world through new eyes." "It's been a learning process for everybody," admits Wendy Johnson, who has been provid- ing respite for five-and-a-half years. She and her husband David and their three children open their home on Scugog Is- land to seven different children with handicaps. "When the child is in our home, that child is treated as our own," she explains. They have the same rules as her own children, the same bedtime, and they are also welcome at family reunions. "It just teaches everybody more tolerance for these chil- dren," says Mrs. Johnson. "They're capable of loving, they're capable of crying. They're no different than we are, except they have a handi- cap." She has been working with handicapped children for 16 years now, but her husband "came into it cold turkey," she says. "He was really leery at first," but now he asks if they can be matched up with more chil- dren. The Johnsons became in- volved in the respite program soon after their oldest child was born, so they don't really notice the handicaps, she says. "It's not something they think about," she explains. "They just accept a child the way heis." She says her children have sometimes become so attached to the visiting children that they don't want them to go home. The willingness of the chil- dren to accept handicaps has led to a recent addition to the family. The Johnsons now have a foster child with a hand- icap, who has been living with them for the past 10 months. The visiting children always Tanya Handsor, as Glump (the living pile of garbage), thrilled an audience of 30 pre-schoolers at Stonemoor Day Care Centre on Aug. 16. She and Caroline Fowler (disguised in the photo as two puppet animals), are the CLOCA (Central Lake Ontario Conservation Area) players. They have per- formed this environmental show for more than 60 audiences across Durham Reglon this summer. seem to enjoy their stay, says Mrs. Johnson. They especially love spending time with their "200", which consists of six par- rots, three dogs and two cats. "The birds do antics more than my kids for attention," she says. . One child asks where the birds are as soon as he gets in the house. She says she has to remind him to say hello to the humans. Others spend all their time with one of the dogs, using him as a pillow and riding on him. "He kisses their ears and they just giggle and think he's the greatest thing on earth," she says. Not every child has an easy time adapting to a different home, however. "A lot of times, this is the first time the child has left home," she explains. She praises the respite ser- vice for having understanding staff and placement workers who "really care about the kids." The children placed by the service can be either physically or developmentally handi- capped, or both, explains Mrs. Wilson. Volunteer families are inter- viewed, screened, submit to a police check and children's aid check, and must provide three references and a note from their doctor. The limitations of their house must also be taken into account, she says. Then a meeting is arranged between the two families, and if they seem suitable, the hand- icapped child can visit. Visits usually start with two hours, and then gradually expand to as much as two weeks at a time, depending on the needs of both families. A host must be age 18, have suitable accomodations, and be caring, loving, and patient with people. "We don't care if they're un- employed or own a $200,000 house. We're just looking for people who care," stresses Mrs. Wilson. Volunteers receive a non- taxable stipend for out-of- pocket expenses, and they al- ways have the right to say Yes', 'No', or 'Not right now.' In the Scugog area there are already a number of volunteers providing respite in their homes, she says, but thereis a need for young people who are willing to become a friend to someone their own age. This program enables young people with handicaps to so- cialize with their peers, make friends, and do other things that most people take for granted. The service also maintains and staffs a bungalow in Oshawa to allow adults with handicaps a more independent vacation. They can book ahead for a couple of days or up to a week, with no planned activi- ties or strict regimen to follow. "It gives them a chance to be treated like ordinary people," explains Mrs. Wilson. "They don't want sympathy. They want acceptance." She encourages anyone who is interested in volunteering or learning more about the Dur- ham Association for Family Respite Services to contact her at (416) 668-3812. Ra MEER J. Wesle (Wes) Pearce celebrated his 90th birthday on Thursday, August 15. Friends and family of Mr. Pearce took him out to dinner at Haugen's Chicken Barbecue. Mr. Pearce was born and raised on Scugog Island. He thrashed for area farmers with Arthur Bailey. He also worked for Wallace Mar- low and was excellent with machinery. He could fix just about anything. Mr. Pearce enjoys watching televised base- ball and hockey, and still cuts the grass at his Blackstock home. Back to school in two more weeks to Co ood Seagrave News by Diane Cooke SS RSA Two more weeks and its back to school! Block Parents are reminded to place their signsin a visible window. I have been ask- ed to remind everyone to be extra safety cautious when leaving children at their bus stops due to the unfortunate crimes in cities not all that far away. This is a good time to re-establish with your children: where to go when they need help, where to go if ear- ly bus dismissal, never to get in or near a strangers car, etc., etc. Seems we can't he too careful these days. Sympathy is extended to Diane and Keith Puckrin and family on the recent loss of Diane's mother. It's a boy! Congratulations to John and Christiane Zidner on the birth of their second child, a boy, 8 Ibs. 10 ozs., born Saturday, August 17 in Oshawa. Anita Edinger was given a bridal shower last Sunday from the Jackson side of the family. Many lovely gifts were received. Anita is the eldest daughter of Helena and Doug Edinger, Rob- inglade Estates. Phyllis, Bill,Lynn and Leann Wray attended the 31st annual Wray family picnic in Ennismore recently. Phyllis' daughter, Barb and Tony, Elisha and Ian travell- ed from Shelbourne to attend the picnic. A good time was had by all as the Wray family got to reminisce with some family and meet new family members. Robinglade Estates Women's Group agenda is nearly com- pleted. 1 still need a couple of volunteers to hold an evening at their home. 1 hope to type, copy and distribute the agenda by Sept. 6. New members always welcome! Call me at 985-3722. All community groups such as U.C.W., ladies groups, brownies, guides, etc. will be starting up again soon, so don't forget to put this information in the Seagrave News. Call Ann Sandiford at 985-9440 or myself with your news for next week's column. More than a few fender benders will happen in Blackstock Friday evening. But don't call the police. It won't be any accident when 30 cars go fender-to-fender in the annual Demolition Derby. Local emcees Harold Wright and Harvey Graham will be on hand to commen- tate on the action and if pre- DemolitionDerby vious Blackstock demolition derbies are any indication, _ it should be a real smash 'em up, crasn 'em up kind of night. The action begins at 7 p.m. at the Blackstock Fair- grounds. . Tickets are $6 for adults and $2 for children and can be purchased at the gate.