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"A Family Tradition for 125 Years" PORT PERRY STAR - Tuesday, September 17, 1991 - 23 New agency will help improve parenting skills By Gillian Barfoot _ What happens if you are con- sidered an unfit parent? In the case of Steve and Denise Orton, they had two children taken away by the Children's Aid So- ciety. Christopher was taken when he was two months old because they fought a lot, and Chil- dren's Aid "thought the child would be caught in the cross- fire," says Steve. "They blew it out of proportion." "We never harmed the baby," protests Denise. "They based the whole case on what could have happened." But their second child, Melis- sa, was - apprehended before she even left the hospital, on the grounds that she was in the same danger as Christopher. To Denise, the loss of her children was like losing a part of herself. "It feels like your heart's ripped out," she says. Steve admits he has been di- agnosed as a schizophrenic, and Denise is developmentally handicapped, but she says she practically raised her nephew by herself. "T took care of him, and my sister trusted me with him, but Children's Aid said it didn't matter." When Melissa was taken away, they decided to open a parenting service "to prevent this from happening again." The idea to form Develop- mental Parenting Services " (DPS) was born in March 1990, says Steve. Since then, he and Denise have learned a lot more about the legal system, agen- cies such as the Children's Aid Society, and parenting. "What is normal parenting?" he asks. "Who sets these stan- dards?" "We need to expand on what people already know," he ex- plains. "People have skills, they just don't know how to ap- ply them." "My parenting skills may not be as high as someone else's. But that's not to say they may be as low as someone else's." The agency officially started up on Sept, 11, and one of the Steve Orton and his wife Denise had two children taken services it will provide is pa- renting skills, as well as nutri- tion, budgeting, marriage coun- selling and other life skills, depending on what the clients need, says Steve. The Ortons are depending on volunteers, such as Steve's mother, who has volunteered to teach nutrition, budgeting, cleaning and shopping skills. "Our parents have both been really supportive," adds Steve. Just recently, a professional counsellor and a lawyer have joined their team, offering their services free of charge. away by the Childen's Ald Soclety, so they founded the De- .velopmental Parenting Services to help other familles in Durham Reglon and Northumberland County prevent that from happening to them. Their dog Bud and kitten Bootsle are now our only family," they say. 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"Full Service Gas Bar" We've expanded our movie rentals to over 300I Watch for ovr Grand Opening Specials! 0000000000000 00000000000000000000000000 But what they can't provide yet, due to lack of funding, is what Steve calls a Home Sup- port Team. This team would consist of a program director and up to 10 full-time workers, depending on the number of clients. They would provide supervision for a maximum of 35 hours each week so the parents could spend time with a child who has been taken away by Chil- dren's Aid. "If the worker considers that the child could come to harm during the visit, it would be over," he emphasizes. "If a parent sees a child only two or four hours a week in a Children's Aid office, there is no bonding. They need a chance to be a normal parent." He proposes that DPS could Duplicate bridge results September 11 - Afternoon 4% Table Howell - Avg. 36 1st - Doris Phinney & Judy Atkinson 45. 2nd - Bea Chapman & Bev Stanley - tied with Marie & Blake Vanderwater 42. 3rd - Bonnie & Jack Davies 411%. 4th - Marie Carnegie & Harold Brown 38%. Evening 4, Table Howell - Avg. 36 1st - Judy & Don Atkinson 44. 2nd - Marie & Blake Vander- water 42. 3rd - Jane Demers & Harold Brown tied with Anne Scott & Ed Clark 38. help to keep a family together by finding out what areas the parents need to improve, and then work with them, instead of responding by taking away the child. "More skills means more ac- cess to the child," he explains. "Our main goal is to keep the family together in a healthy and safe environment." The Ortons claim they didn't get the support they needed to keep their family together. If they had been oftered an alter- native, such as learning pa- renting skills, they would have welcomed it. "Children's Aid has too much power," says Steve. "Every person deserves to have a chance to parent their child, with strict supervision if needed. A child should never be apprehended straight from the hospital." "The child is obviously the first concern, but the child's rights should not be taken over the parent's rights." - Steve says he and Denise have had a stormy relationship in the past, but have become closer by working together as they build the agency. Denise, who is illiterate, has started taking an Adult Basic Literacy course provided by the Ministry of Education, and says she can now read "a bit". "We both have calmed down a lot," Steve says. "We have im- proved our skills." For the Ortons it's too late to get their own children back, now age 2 and 6, as they have been adopted. Instead, they want to help other parents be- fore they lose their children. But first they need to find funding. "We're hoping to get letters of support from parents who want to use the service," ex- plains Steve. He will then send them to the Ministry of Com- munity and Social Services and to the Ministry of Health when he applies for funding. If the government fails to provide any funding, the Or- tons will appeal to the private sector. "It's not necessary to open DPS if the government is will- ing to expand the services that are already there," says Steve. "But at this time, from what I can see, no one is providing those services." DPS is in the process of be- coming incorporated as a non- profit organization, and will provide services to Durham Region and Northumberland County from. its office in Oshawa. Steve also hopes that an- other office will soon open in Belleville to serve Hastings and Prince Edward counties. Although he has friends in Belleville, the service needs professional volunteers to make it viable, he explains. He is currently conducting a membership drive in Oshawa to find out how much support there is for his agency. Mem- bership is free and all DPS needs is your name, address and telephone number. DPS can be contacted at 444 Simcoe St. South, Oshawa, L1H 4J6, or call (416) 721-0048 between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. FULL TIME PROFESSIONAL INSTRUCTION PERMANENT FACILITY Central Air, Fully Equipped, Two Training Halls, Weights, Showers 64 Classes a Month to Choose From, 7 Days A Week Day and Evening, All For One Low Cost, Total Of Nine Black Belts To Assist Meet One Of Qur Instructors SENSEI BRIAN NORRISH * 16 years experience * Some background in JUDO and AIKIDO Black Belt since 1986 Area resident for 30 years * Two daughters also training LY REGISTER NOW HIRYU BUSHIDO KAI, Martial Arts Centre 15258 Simcoe Street, Port Perry 985-0205 S