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PARAS, EE Cl a pn SA Le RS ML folio pie =... PTR -- ac SA "A Family Tradition for 125 Years" PRESSING MIATTERS BRIAN AT THE U.N. - WHAT DOES IT MEAN? A tip-off on exactly how terrific thing have been go- ing for most Canadians was the spontaneous appear- ance last week of a fervent prayer being offered up- wards - in both official Canadian languages - to the Gods of whichever religious beliefs might be appropri- ate. Allow us to paraphrase the basic gist of its contents: "Dear Heavenly (pick one): "Although Canada desperately needs beloved Prime Minister Mulroney to keep saving us from the threat of Separatism (as he has done, over and over, for the last 7 years), we are prepared to make the su- preme sacrifice. "Release him. Let him fly to new York. Better he should serve Universal Mankind at the United Na- tions, than devote such amazing talents exclusively to a single, most undeserving country (or what's left of it) such as ours." "We hate to see him go... would tomorrow morning be okay?" If Lyin' Brian does succeed in eventually becoming Secretary General of the United Nations, suspicious of Divine Intervention (no, we don't mean George Bush) probably wouldn't be far off the mark. Consider it god's way of leveling the playing field, and/or telling Canadi- ans He's sorry. What happens next? Good question. Bad answer. A further indication of the nation's wretched state is the citizenry's apparent willingness to aceept Joe Clark, the modern-day Father of Confuddled-nation as replacement Prime Minister at this critical juncture in history. This startling acquiescence does not reflect Can- dain docility, as in the past, but rather suggests a dra- matic change in basic nature for the average Cana- dain. The world can no longer consider us overly cau- tious; afraid to take chances, unwilling to risk bold ventures, prepared to compromise reality in favor of mediocrity. Late last week, when opinion pollsters raised the subject of Joe's second Primal Act, with specific refer- ence to his disastrous performance during a previous Tour of Duty in the late Seventies, the widespread re- sponse was: "Hey, great. Maybe he can screw up Que- bec too." Don't be overly concerned about potential negative implications lurking within this response. It has noth- ing to do with a lack of affection for our French- Canadian brethren. Nay (non). English Canadians, reacting in Pavlovi- an fashion to seven years of "Truth, the Mulroney Way", now merely approach each Brian-induccd cri- sis with a philosophical "Whutthehell, if it's that bad, it ain't worth saving." Actually, the strategy may prove sound. The law of averages suggests sooner or later the Little Guy will win one. "Sooner" has most definitely been beaten to death. If Mulroney gets the job, he'll leave us with much to remember. Despite the possibility of a premature de- parture, many notable accomplishments can already be attributed to Brian. For example, over the last three years his Free Trade deal has successfully whipped the nation's work force into lean, trim, competitive condition. Our workers now stand ready to take on the world, as soon as somebody gives them jobs. An indicator of this strat- egy's effectiveness is evidenced by last year's 24% in- crease in unemployment insurance premiums, paired with a rumoured extra 14% UIC hike for next year. Even more impressively, the recently imposed Tory Goods and Services Tax makes Brian a sure bet to win 1991,s 'Aqua Velva Man' awarded, for single-handedly stimulating the nation's retail industry with a "Thanks, I needed that!" kick in the ass. The additional 7% GST tax thinned out marginal operators,lowered the cost of retail floor space to more ordable levels, and reduced Main Street Canada to a smaller, more manageable size. The resultant new re- tail reality is perfectly suited for brief visits by loyal shop- pers as they scuttle past empty stores in between weekly border crossing tions. Make no mistake: Brian's dramatic bid for global fame is not to be construed with rats leaving sinking ships. Having beaten back all threats to the Canadian way of life - in his own mind, anyway - the Prime Minis- ter appears ready to leave us with a Looney Legacy, and move onward in search of greater personal chal- lenge. : What a shame it would be, to deprive Canadians of a man who has exerted such monumental influence on our lives. Why, we'd even miss an opportunity in the next federal election to express appreciation for every- thing he did to (ooops), for us. Go for it Bri. we're all behind you... (P.S. In case anyone forgot, last weekend it was time to set your clocks back. This year, set them back one hour and seven minutes, just in case the damned GST is applicable.) Letters tothe editor Many fond memories To the Editor: Congratulations on the 125th anniversary of the Port Perry Star. A copy of your su- perb special edition came to me via my granddaughter in To- ronto whose boyfriend came from Port Perry. It brought back many treasured memo- ries of visits, when I was a 'younster with my Aunt Sarah and Uncle Joe Sisson. I was born in 1913 in Toronto so my memories of Port Perry go back to about 1919 to 1936. Aunt Sarah (Skinner) was my mother's sister, their family having grown up on a farm nearby. Before the Kingston Road was paved, we would start in a model T on a Saturday morn- ing, stop for a picnic lunch half- way and get to "Port" in time to go fishing. In the late spring we could catch a pail full of catfish in no time at all. Were they ever delicious! Later in the year, when the catfish were too muddy to eat, we would always get some nice bass. Frogs were the best bait and this meant a hike down the railway track through the swamp. My father and Uncle Joe always made sure I went along since I was much more adept in catching them. Meals were impressive by their abundance of tender meat and fresh vegetables cooked on a big wood stove. Uncle Joe had a big garden and I'll never for- get the Golden Bantam corn picked and on the table in half an hour, the big red tomatoes and new potatoes. We had fresh eggs from the hen house every morning for breakfast. I wonder what Uncle Joe would say if he were here today and bought some "large" eggs from the supermarket - "pullet eggs" for sure. What an experience for a city Turn to Paae 8 Too few are listening To the Editor: Whoever wrote last week's editorial entitled "Reducing In- itiatives" must have just re- turned from a very long vaca- tion. The comment about governments "starting to get the message that there is a seri- ous problem concerning gar- bage in our communities..." is preposterous. Governments have been try- ing to tell us this for quite a while! The statement that the new regulations should have come five or 10 years ago is sheer 20-20 hindsight. None of us was paying attention five years ago. Even though we have been told and told and told that there is a crisis, too few of us are listening even now! A lot of us have learned the hard way that until a landfill study tries to site a dump in our very own backyard, selective hearing seems to screen out the words "garbage problem." Now governments are having to get nasty. They've tried the nice guy route our editorial writer wishes would do the trick, but it simply hasn't worked. If you don't believe me, have a look at the junk in peo- From Page 8 Remember When ? HISTORIC PHOTOS COURTESY SCUGOG SHORES MUSEUM ast vi Paul Frayer Is pictured above shucking corn. The photo was taken in Caesarea but the date is unknown. One thing Is for sure: Looking at the amount of husks on the floor, Mr. Frayer had been busy shucking the corn for quite some time before the pic- tre was taken. 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