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"A Family Tradition for 125 Years" hea ae dae o acta FRAGT IR pos oe This column has always been called a harbinger of human eventuality and in the case of curlers, it's been called a lot worse. The unseen psychic link of enlightenment between this pen and my readers is so strong that whenever I write a piece about mankind perched at the very margin of the millenium, I get at least half a dozen letters saying: "What is that in Fahrenheit?" Every year I try and trace the cur- rents in this deep and vast ocean we call mankind and this year is no differ- ent than any other year, except that it's already several hours old and no Kennedy has yet been charged with a sex, drug or alcohol offense. Thanks to The Donald, The Ronald and Brian, lying, cheating and not remembering will continue to be popu- lar traits of the rich and the powerful throughout the 90s. Women leaders will be as ineffectual as they have in the past because, quite simply, they lack the talent and intelligence to lie and cheat and not remember. In this, the age of fitness fanatics, more and more retail outlets will switch over to "drive thru." In California they now have drive thru wedding chapels, funeral parlours, con- venience stores and flu shot clinics. We raig by William Thomas TRENDS FOLLOW THAT FORTUNE COOKIE simply do not have time to walk around when we have to get home for our run. And as much as possible, let's keep those engines idling. Department stores will continue to automate and robotize, until by the end of the decade there will be no living beings working in those places at all. Thanks to K-Mart, Zellers and Woolco, most of us have gotten used to that already. Canadians will continue to eat low- fat, low-calories, low-cholesterol foods until the recipe section of this newspa- per, drizzled with a lite ranch dressing, will someday be lunch. As a nation we will continue to become so environmentally friendly that in the spring of 1994, the dwin- dling red fir forest of southern British Columbia will charge us with date- rape. The graying of Canada's population will accelerate near the end of this cen- tury to the point where mandatory retirement will occur at 24 and new- borns will be delivered at age six. In 1992 the Japanese will market a revolutionary recording disc the size of a quarter, just to aggravate those of us who bought C.D. players in 1991. The Soviet Union will continue to self-destruct and split up at about the same rate as the Jackson family. A massive education program, aimed at world youth, will portray the hole in the ozone layer, oil spills, drugs and asbestos, every bit as dangerous as Michael I Can Break Glass With A Crowbar Jackson, yet much more appealing. Literacy will continue to drop in Canada, closing down publishing houses and libraries, yet Pierre Burton will continue to publish his annual, epic, historical novel on the front of T- shirts and the back bumpers of cars, one line at a time. Trash television, with its overt sex- ism, racist innuendo and obscene lan- guage, will continue as long as we have cameras in the House of Commons. Natural disasters like hurricanes, floods and volcanic eruptions will increase exponentially in the 90s, but as in the past year, they will pretty much be limited to the Phillipines. The Ontario N.D.P. government will continue to have so many embarrassing cabinet resignations, that Peter Kormos will eventually be premier and people in other provinces watching them set a world record in ineptness, will continue to vote N.D.P. governments into office. This is a trend that started with metric and continues with the constitution cri- sis - Canadians insist on solidarity when it comes to looking stupid. Traced by historians to the Hapsburgs in 1474, the world's longest running trend will continue well past the year 2000, when nothing of any real importance happens in the country of Switzerland. In North America the plight of the poor will deteriorate in exact proportion to the rising, fortunes of professional baseball players, until a multi-national strike force them from the United States, Canada and Mexico, led by General Norman Schwarzkopf attacks Jack Murphy Stadium in San Diego during the 1992 All-Star Games and mugs both teams. Canadian men will continue to drink less, abstain from sex more and conduct themselves so responsibly that by 1998, we will all look and talk like Floyd Laughren. However Joe Clark will con- tinue to snack between meals until 28 people named Chin listed in the Toronto phone book, will accuse him of making fun of them. Free Trade will really flourish in the early period of the 1990s when in order to curb cross-border shopping, Otto Jelnek finally seals off all routes to the United States and opens up negotia- tions with the islands of St. Pierre and Miquelon. And sometime around mid-decade (I'm guessing Jan. 15, 1996}, the Canadian Navy will arrive home safely from the Persian Gulf War. Well done boys, but don't unpack. He's acting up again. Looking from our immediate past into the not too distant future, I see Canada poised at prescipous of the new millenium, anxious, aggressive and ready to get going right at the crack of oom. Letters io the editor Christmas tree thief To the Editor: On Friday morning, Dec. 20, I stood at my kitchen window just before sunrise and ad- mired the pinkish red glow of the eastern horizon with the dark silhouettes of trees and Purple Hill, and thought what a beautiful picture this view made. However, when day- light broke the picture on our front lawn was not so lovely, for where had stood a nice 6-6 and one half foot spruce tree was now only a stump and one sad lower branch and the fresh tracks in the snow where the tree had been dragged to the road and taken away. I realize that times are diffi- cult for many families now and although I strongly be- lieve that every family should have a Christmas tree, I find it hard to believe that some- one would cut a tree right off a front lawn of a private home. If this was a case of not hav- ing the money to buy a tree {which by the way are cheaper this year than in the past few years) I'm sure there were lots of people including myself who would have been glad to con- tribute toward the purchase of a tree for your family. Norene Crosier Frightened and angry To the Editor: I wish to express my anger and disgust towards the van- dals who have been stealing parts from the snowmobile {and attempting to steal the snowmobile itself) that we have been trying to sell. My husband and I moved here from Toronto thinking that it would be a better, safer place to raise our children. Up until now we have been enjoy- ing the feeling of safety that comes from living in a small community, and we didn't think twice about putting our landlord's snowmobile at the end of the driveway to try to help him sell it. Recently, how- ever, my husband discovered that several (expensive) parts had been stripped from it. Even when we moved the snowmobile into my husband's truck next to the house, we discovered the next morning that someone had tried to take it out of the truck. This incident has left me with a feeling of violation, not to mention fright. We have two infants in the house, and it terrifies me to think that we are not safe here. I am also ex- tremely angry, because it will be up to us to replace those stolen parts. My husband is presently working two jobs {and 1 am looking for work} to try to make ends meet. The last thing we need at this point is to have to spend mon- ey (which is very scarce} be- cause of someone else's utter selfishness and lack of respect for private property. What will be next - stealing the babies' stroller out of the garage? I am not naive, and I do re- Turn to Page 8 Remember When ? | HISTORIC PHOTO COURTESY OF MARTIN FISHER [ Edwin Blight of Seagrave was a motorcycle fan. He's pictured on a Harley Davidson. The date the picture was taken is unknown but motorcycle buffs may be able to tell when it was taken. The Fisher family purchased Mr. Blight's home after he passed away. 45 YEARS AGO Thursday, December 26, 1946 At the close of the final day of free chest X- rays survey sponsored by the Lions Club 3280 residents of Port Perry and the surrounding area received examinations. Rev. Harley Balfour of Hearst officiated at the christening service in the Anglican Chruch of Kenneth Wayne Lade, son of Mr. and Mrs. Douglas Lade of Toronto. Miss Jean Crosier, R.N. of London, Ontario spent Christmas with her parents Mr. and Mrs. J.T. Crosier, Utica. Her sister Mrs. Bruce Beare of Port Perry was also a guest over the holidays. 35 YEARS AGO Thursday, December 27, 1956 The 1956 council of Port Perry honored two members of the 1906 council, Mr. H.G. Hutcheson and Mr. L. Parrish, who have given a great deal of time to the progress and growth of Port Perry. The delegates to the Annual Soil and Crop Improvement Convention to be held in Toronto are Murray Holtby and Roy Ormiston. Earl Redman of Port Perry suffered two broken ankles, a broken nose and minor injuries when he was struck by a car on King Street. 30 YEARS AGO Thursday, December 28, 1961 Morley Davidson of Blackwater was elected president of Port Perry Junior Farmers. The Ontario County Junior Farmers under the direction of Mrs. Elsie Dobson were heard on a CBC broadcast on TV on the program Country Calendar. Mr. and Mrs. R.B. Smallman of Port Perry celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary at a family gathering in their home and a dinner at Flamingo Restaurant. Mr. Robert Baird was elected president of the PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 8