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MARCH. FOCUS.32indd 30 Warm up during March Break... Rent your favourite movie at Et Water Street, Port Perry (aero fc from the tennis courts) 4 Over 25 te, Op, : oO ~ ‘S Ss Stence and e C wim kid OF SCUGOG LIMITED SUMIMER LESSONS 4 2-week sessions available 7:30 am to 8:30 pm Ages 2 1/2 yrs. and up All classes private or semi-private LIMITED SPACES - CALL NOW! 16625 Old Simcoe Road, Port Perry ~~ 905-985-1709 ~~ Continued from page 27 He returned to Guelph and completed a two year Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. He and his wife decided to move somewhere to start a practice. “Our only demands on where we lived were a hospital and a lake.” In 1993 the couple moved to Port Perry and Theo began his family practice. His business grew and he branched into man- agement consulting and trauma debriefing. Now he is an eaker recent- ly serving as Master of Ceremonies for Toronto's International Day for People with Disabilities. His company, Integrity Works, instills organizational values through team building. Selfishness Matters is guaranteed to offend everyone; however, its humour and satire have a deep rooted meaning. “Tam so tired of the emphasis on self-help. It’s time we stopped thinking about helping and lov- ing ourselves and think more about finding ways to help and love others.” Theo’s face turned sober, as he spoke. His cynical tone was replaced with sincerity. “I am so sick of people coming to see me and telling me they ‘don’t know how to communicate’. Then they proceed to eloquently tell me all the things that are wrong with their partner. They communicate dissatisfaction, disinterest, disdain, disrespect, very very well. The issue is that they don’t communicate love.” Theo believes that love still exists. “I tell people to intentionally love. Ideally each member of a couple will try to find as many ways to love the other as they can. It’s sad that I rarely hear in my practice two people ask, ‘How can I love my partner better?’ ” His youth has given him an un- canny ability to understand people’s problems and to at times cry with them on the road to recovery. Theo Selles does not consider himself immune from the seduction of self-absorption. He has certainly made many mistakes and has hurt people he loved en route as he muddles his way through life. In his experience, people who emphasize the importance of being accepted for who they are in relationships tend to be too lazy and self-absorbed to attempt change and growth. The book, Selfishness Matters, pokes fun at self-help gurus and challenges people to examine the degree of selfishness in their lives. Even the cover is a parody of Dr. Phil and his book, Self Matters. It’s a good read and very enjoy- able. Pick it up at Books Galore and More or on line at www.selfishnessmatters.com. Send Theo an email and tell him what you thought of his book, or better still, visit him to discuss your problems... but expect a solution, not lip service. By Jonathan van Bilsen Focus on Scugog 2/22/11 8:03:25 AM