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PORT PERRY STAR - Tuesday, January 7, 1992 - 7 i i ! / Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (0.C.D.) is a mental quirk which causes the inflicted individual to behave in a repetitive yet illogical , | - manner. It's like a stuck record in which the brain can't seem to move along a normal train of thought, always retreating to one obsesgive idea or scenario. | Now I'm no psychiatrist but I believe we, as a nation are suffering . 0.C.D. Canadians are so consumed |. by the issue of unity that we have lost our normal focus of other import- ant national issues like the environ- ment, unemployment and health care. O.C.D. is stress related and God knows we've been through a shock- ing year. The largest country in the world has fallen and split off into fif- teen smaller countries, four with the last name of Stan, making Canada the largest country in the world. In geography, the pressure doesn't get any worse than this. We witnessed cannibalism in , Milwaukee, a celebrity rape-trial in Florida and just recently a report out of London, England reveals that 300- vo by William Thomas CANADIANS SUFFERING FROM OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER pound media mogul Robert Maxwell who died mysteriously off his yacht last month in the Canary Islands, 'regularly paid $375 to engage in" office sex orgies with Filipino midgets. 1991 was not an easy year for the world to watch and Canada is now as - stressed out as any nation on earth. This is why the unity issue eats away at our collective consciousness causing us to dwell on this single theme, singing just one song over and over when its fact there's a medley that needs......... (MIDGETS! This guys 300 pounds and he's plying hide Mr. Willy with midgets from the Philippines?!) Everyday you pick up the newspa- per and there it is, front page, The constitution, staring us down like we're a bunch of bad children who've broken the recess rules and.... (Why in the office? I mean couldn't a man reportedly worth millions and millions of.dollars check into a ~ Journey's End for crying out loud?) And there's Joe Clark's photo- graph, our national savior._and sud- "denly our nost popular and trusted national leader which is like the sur- vivor of the Titanic saying all she could remember was the band leader was kind of cute but...... : (Do you think that's; $375 per midget or would that be like the total for the whole troupe?) On the radio, on television that's all we ever hear these days --- it's Mulroney warns this and Parizeau threatens that and-the latest poll reveals ......... : (Do you think this is a common practice of newspaper publishers that on Friday afternoon after a hard week with the headlines they just order up a few midgets and go crazy until quit- tin' time.) We simply must snap out of this constitutional fatigue, this obsession with provincial solidarity which......... (Tell me they were all females..... please, we're not talking boy midget /girl midget | Big Bob Maxwell here are we?). The psychological risk we run as a previously sane and sensible country is that to remain mired in a rut of (Let's say you go to Manila on a holiday... I mean does your guide say: "Okay this morning we'll be visiting the Imelda Marcos Shoe Museum and then after lunch we're.going to rent office space downtown and engage in tour group sex with midgets?" Is this \ iP: done in the Philippines on a regular basis?) If we allow ourselves to be totally consumed by one solitary... ... (How would you even indicate to your secretary or an assistant that "you actually have an interest in bring- ing a few Filipino midgets up to the request to work into a business conversation.) "a office. I mean isnt this a difficult To onus is on each and every Canadian to stand up and...... (Now that ballroom dancing is an official Olympic sport in Barcelona in '92 you don't think that by 1996, the Philippines would introduce office acrobatics with...... No, that's not possible.) To do nothing in the face of the forces that would divide us..... : (They wouldn't be circus midgets would they? I mean you don't think Mazxwell's office was equipped with trampolines and trapezes and can- nons and stuff like that do you?) In the eyes of the world, Canada..... | (They must have been in England illegally? I mean when these midgets went through immigration - I'm $yre _ they don't tell the authorities they had a personal performance contract with 300-pound. media mogul Robert Maxwell to éntertain him in his office.) 'History will judge us. In a Christmas card from my (yes, Scottish!) during a riod of Letters 1 the editor | Remember What's in a name? To the Editor: When 2? H)STORIC PHOTO COURTESY OF E. JOHANSEN A to cousin I was very pleased to receive a clipping of the picture of the Prince Albert School (1923) in your "Remember When?" col- umn, as my two brothers are in the front row, Donald and Ken- neth Wauchope, both now deceas- 'ed. They were living with my randparents Mr. and Mrs. . Thomas Turner at the time. My~, "late cousin Bruce Snelgrove is also in the picture. My sister Audrey and I were also born in Prince Albert in 1917 and 1921 fespeciively, and I at- tended Prince Albert School for orie year only, 1933, in what would "now be called Grade 8. I am sure many of my contemporaries would remember our teacher. Her name was Miss Susan Laird and she now lives in Oshawa and I still correspond with her. A wonderful woman and teacher. I must correct one thing - our surname Wauchope was misspell- - ed as Wauchap in the picture, but that's nothing new. All my life I have suffered the slings and ar- rows of outrageous fortune with such an innocuous Scottish name a proliferation of Anglo Saxon names like Smith, Brown, Green, Robinson, Murphy, Hunter, Jef- frey, etc. How longed to have a name that somebody, anybody, could pronounce correctly! Only the Scots know that the "ch" is pronounced "c"' which makes the phonetic pronounciation of the name Walkope, much as the S nish j" is pronounced as an However, in retrospect I am proud to have had a name which always made me stand out in the crowd, even if it was embarrass- ing. Every time a roll was called, and the roll-caller hesitated in between names, I would shoot up my hand and yell present. I was called many names over the years, Warship, Wauchoppy, alkup, Walkdown and Hey You! That's why after all these years I feel it is time to set the record straight. When I saw Wauchap on the picture I burst out laughing, because that was a new variation. Since Canada is now such a cosmopolitan country I feel em- Turn to Page 8 Hurray for Gord Mills "To the Editor: Hurrah for Gord Mills for sug- gesting that Public Employees set an example to all others by accep- ting zero increase In salaries and wages in 1992. atholic high school teachers please take note. If they can't live on $51,330.00 annually I would sug- est that they need a lesson in fousehold economics and budgeting. In my opinion theirs is not a matter of necessity, it is a tter of . M The Fs a and all others who eeking a wage raise at this fime can 8 hankFul that they are 'not senior citizens who rely on in- 'vestment income to augment i. CEFR ENRS SPS RRB EW SETI STR TESTER TSA ---- LE their basic seniors pension. Bigh- teen months ago bank certificates were yielding 11.25 per cent on in- vestment income; today it is down around 7.25 per cent; that is a 64.4 per cent reduction in pay. I am not complaining but I am sick and tired of reading about people who are already receiving wages much in excess of the Canadian average, then threaten- to jeopardizing our children's ucation through strike action because they are not happy with a minimum annual increase of $28,230.00. Yours very regretfully, %, rierson, art Percy. . The above photo has been reproduced from a postcard and shows children playing in Lake Scugog at Caesarea. The postcard was sent from the Lindsay post office on Aug. 19, 1912to a Miss Ethel Arksey in Brandon, Manitoba. Postage was one cent. / 45 YEARS AGO Thursday, January 2, 1947 Mr. and Mrs. Aylmer Cawker had a ten minute phone call with their son William in New Zealand. Mr. Cawker is a veterinarian over a large district. Mrs. Amy McKinnon of Detroit is in town attending the funeral of her mother Mrs. E. Beare. \ On Concession 14 of Reach Township a fire destroyed the home of Stanley Baker on New Year's Eve. The snow plow, with Mr. Ray Hobbs at the wheel, is very busy due to the heavy snowstorms. 35 YEARS AGO Thursday, January 3, 1957 The new Utica Hall being built has now been closed in and just the interior remains to be finished. Teen Towd' held a very successful New Year's Dance in the public school. Mr. and Mrs. Bruce Mountjoy and family of Langstaff have moved into their parent's home in Blackstock. This will be the third generation of Mountjoys to reside in this home. 30 YEARS AGO Thursday, January 4, 1962 In the annual Chamber of Commerce outdoor Christmas lighting contest, the winners were Robert Archer, Bill Lowcock and Charlie Lown. The Scotty Uren Trophy awarded to Port Perry Rod and Gun Club for outstanding work in the field of conservation was accepted on behalf of the club by the secretary, Mr. Stan Tripp. At the WMS meeting a life membership certificate was presented to Mrs. Allan Moore. A group of curlers from Port Perry brought home the coveted Willis Trophy from a bonspiel held in PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 8 ' \ tl emt i cl DOL EN te