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"Scugog's Community Newspaper of Choice" PORT PERRY STAR - Wednesday, May 20, 1992 - 7 Last week 1 was witness to one of life's little car accidents and today I'm coming forth to testify. It was noon hour. I was alone and minding my own business waiting for my bowl of soup to arrive in a real res- taurant - one of those old, main street restaurants that serves the four-crack- er pack with the soup and when you ask for the no-smoking section the waitress always says, no matter where you're sitting: "You're in it. Hey, very small section. We who eat in these old booth and counter treasures wouldn't be caught dead in a ristorante. We fig- ure if the owner can't spell the word restaurant, how good can the alphabet soup be? A steamy bowl of fish chowder is placed in front of me; I punch the liv- ing daylights out of my little pack of crackers and a baby cries out in the booth in front of me. Instinctively, I look up at the wom- an holding a doll-size infant which she shifts from one hand to the other like a seasoned fullback would a football. Deftly she flips a baby blanket over her left shoulder, pulls her sweater up and mostly over her right shoulder and...for anyone who thinks I'm mak- ing this up there's a teenage waitress by William Thomas PUBLIC BREAST FEEDING who was delivering my ice water at this moment who could collaborate my story and would no doubt be here today, in this column with you and me, except that she's down at the health services office browsing through pamphlets on tubal ligation...and what emerged from beneath that sweater could only be described as the mother of all mammary glands. My first reaction was that it wasn't real. I thought to myself, why those clever Japanese, they've gone and invented an artificial body part that's normal and natural in every way except it's the size of Carnduff, Saskatchewan. Referring to it as a mere breast is like classifying the C.N. Tower as an antenna. Had there been a cup there when this gland emerged {and there most definitely was not}! it's name might as well have been Dixie. Not to dwell on this, but suffice to say this particular mammary gland had the ability to reason and it's own postal code. I went into a state of temporary mental confusion commonly called shock. The teenage waitress left with my ice water still in her hand and it's fun- ny but I don't remember her hair being teased all the way out like that when she first came to my table. The baby fell silent but there again it may have been fright. I think you have to be a little leery about drinking from anything that's bigger than you are, no matter how old you are. But he did. Oh, how he did drink. I will not go into detail except to say this was without a doubt the monster truck pull of mother [child nursing. I lost all semblance of time and reality and I suppose I just stared. It seemed like an awful long time elapsed but then how would I know? My watch had stopped at the moment of great breast revelation, an event that a man more religious than myself might have taken as some sort of sign. Such as human nature is, it was virtually impossible not to look. And yes I'm sure many men have told that to the judge after being spotted on apartment balconies wearing only raincoats. But right there in a public restaurant... From somewhere beyond the foggi- ness of my mind a voice said: "Do you want me to warm that up for you?" And I thought, no, please -- they're not going to provide this woman with some sort of microwave device that would actually be adjusted to fit around...it was my waitress and she was pointing at my soup. "It was hot when I brought it" she said, walked off with a bowl of gel that a. used to be fish chowder. Now I know the issue of public breast feeding has been widely debated and I do not mean to lay bare the...I do not mean to again unclothe what has been...I'm experiencing some severe flashbacks here so could you just this once finish this sentence yourself? Two questions still nag at me even now that I'm off the 1.V. machine. First, is this a form of discrimina- tion in restaurants? I mean why should the kid get his food instantly when the rest of us have to wait up to 20 minutes to be served? Second, can this kind of baby care in restaurants be limited to just breast feeding? 1 for one never want to be greeted by a maitre'd with: "But I'm so sorry, monsieur the only think I have is a table for two next to the Huggies Terminal." Oh no, I'm the guy waiters most like to seat next to the kitchen door, there's no way I'm going sitting next to the diaper station. Forget it. I'm still a little woosey and like anyone who's survived a traumatic ordeal, I feel fortunate. The way I see it, if this woman had had twins with coinciding hunger cycles, I'd be a dead man today. To get a woman's opinion, when I got home I asked my 85-year-old moth- er how she felt about breast feeding me in public. I guess she's against it too. She immediately locked herself in her room and she hasn't come out for three days. and John. Date of the picture is unknown. 45 YEARS AGO Thursday, May 15, 1947 The mill rate for Scugog this year will remain at 23 mills. Mayor Robert Saunders of Toronto and Controller McCallum were guest speakers at the Port Perry Lions Club Ladies Night. Messrs. Joel and Victor Aldred are putting the finishing touches on the new church at Scugog. 35 YEARS AGO Thursday, May 16, 1957 A uniform charge of ten cents was adopted by the Bell Telephone for public telephones in Port Perry and area. Mrs. Henry Skerratt of R. R. #4 Port Perry won Remember When 2? HISTORIC PHOTO COURTESY OF GRACE HOPKINS Pictured is William Brock and family including Miriam, Harry, Aunt Sarah, Fred, Ella, Anna, fourth prize in the Toronto Star sewing contest. 30 YEARS AGO Thursday, May 17, 1962 Mrs. W. M. Letcher presented Skipper Ron Bivens of the Port Perry Rover Crew with a flag in commemoration of Mr. Letcher. The boys have chosen to name their group the 1st Port Perry W. M. Letcher Rover Crew. 25 YEARS AGO Thursday, May 18, 1967 The careless use of fire crackers was blamed for a fire which destroyed the grandstand at the fairgrounds. ' Eighty students from Port Perry High School PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 8 Letters io the editor Posting a complaint To the Editor: The Hon. Harvie Andre claimed recently on announcing an employee shareholders plan for Canada Post that "This is not in any way a first step to- wards privatization." Since this is the same person who claims we rural Canadians don't mind having our post offices closed {because we apparently believe frozen superboxes provide "bet- ter service" than postmasters}) you can understand our reluc- tance to accept Mr. Andre's statement as the whole truth. We fear Canadians will wake up to the reality that our nation- al postal service is being priva- tized only when the auction- eer's mallet hits the block, signalling Canada Post 1s sold, sold, sold! For those who have not fol- lowed the federal government's pursuit of postal privatization, hereis asummary: - more than 1,200 rural post offices closed, retail services privatized in gas stations, gar- ages, beauty parlors and gro- cery stores - several hundred urban and rural post offices sold off to be- come offices, pizza parlors, homes - urban wicket services priva- tized in drug stores and station- ary supply shops - the "Canada" taken out of Canada Post as the maple leaf and/or government emblems are removed from the logo, street boxes, trucks, employee uniforms and cheques of this agency of the crown - Canada Post ordered by the federal government to aim for 14 - 15 per cent return on equity - service standards seriously downgraded while profits climb to $149 million If Canadians allow Canada Post to be sold, we will be the only country in the world to have a privatized postal service. It's a distinction we don't want. A privatized postal service will have no guarantees for an equitable, affordable, secure and accountable mail service for Canadiansin all parts of this vast country. Should the gov- ernment undertake to set up a regulatory agency to provide these service guarantees, we taxpayers will end up paying for the watch dog, having sold off the money-making part of the system. Canada Post employees, like other Canadians, are already shareholders of the crown cor- poration by virtue of being tax- payers. Why buy something they already own? If Mr. Andre and Mr. Lander really want to encourage their employees, how about stopping the service cut- backs and providing them with such basic supplies as elastics, pens and receipt books? Yours truly, Cynthia Patterson, National Coordinator, Rural Dignity of Canada LETTERS TO THE EDITOR The Port Perry Star encourages our readers to make use of the letters to the editor column to express their opinions and viewpoints on just about any subject, as we feel a lively letters column helps make a better community newspaper. We insist, however, that all letter writers sign their name. Sorry, no anonymous letter will be printed. Aa gg A a Aub