McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 27 Nov 1919, p. 6.

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t.tf .3s )* -% .s*v»«i •'. » J t * «>- '. „*•{>"• •. + *r Mi" <• v4 ' «h>V * " ^ "v^ --jfev: * ..VA- - , • • THE WcHEHHY PLArNDEAXJEB, McHEKTRY, 1*A MANY FAIRIES IN GREEN ISLE WHERE ESKIMO IS SUPERIOR Wn That the OnemM Have appeared la Declared te B Altogether Erroneous. Dia* 512,000,000 Tunnel for Vehicles and Pedestrians NEW YORK.--Announcement ts made that the contract between the states of New York and New Jersey for the construction of a vehicular runnel raider the Hudson river, from a point In the vicinity of Canal street, Manhattan, to about Twelfth street, Jersey City, has been signed at the Joint office of the New York state bridge and tunnel commission and the New Jersey interstate bridge and tunnel commission. Actual work on the tunnel. It was said, will be begun in a short time. Authority to enter Into the contract by the New York state commission was given in an act of the legislature, signed by Governor Smith, April 11. The tunnel commissions at once were organized, and an engineer- IBS staff was created, which has been busy since then preparing plans and obtaining data. The form of contract was prepared under the direction of the New York commission, and was submitted to the New Jersey commission May 20, 1919, which accepted it substantially in the form proposed. It provides for the joint construction, operntion, repair and maintenance of the tunnel, subject to appropriations made by the legislatures of the two states. The tunnel is to be exclusively for vehicles and pedestrians. No franchise or right can be given to a public service corporation except with the approval of the governors and legislatures of both states. It is estimated that the tunnel will cost $12,000,000. • schedule of tolls is to be established when the tunnel is finished sufficient to repay to each state within 20 years principal and interest of the amount advanced for construction. The contract also provides that either state may submit It to congress for ratification. rlages among post office employees, having them meet one another "by - accident" and later acting as best man % at the wedding. L, The minute a new girl Joins the te . post office staff, Slattery sizes her up \ and decides what fellow will do best. The girl is "doomed^' Dan nonchalantly drifts Into her department some day and asks if she don't like to ^1"# luce. A smile goes around the department. V'/* - The girl says "yes." Then Dan remarks casually: ' W&l: *Td like to have you drop around to Slattery's hall next Wednesday night." ."Nobody to go with.** KiW I: *Oh, I'll take you!" 'r.l'- J., irbe man Dan'has chosen Is there. Dam Introduces them and leasts. The - " following Sunday he invites them to visit him at the "lodge," a romantic log '<&' 1 <shack in San Geronlmo, in lovely Marin county. | As a rule after one Sunday spent at the "lodge" the couple can be left F* ,**'! safely, whereupon Dan goes to work on the next pair. V ' Why does Dan Slattery give a dance each month, "Slattery's ball/* at hia Yjt c ,£ ••wn expense, just to have people meet, marry and be happy? " i' Why does he throw open bis "lodge" to young folks who otherwise would never know one another? ; Just because he believes that great happiness lies in marriage. fV/.- ' "It's all mathematics," the post office "Cupid" declares. "You can't dispute ' "f ' mathematics. Throw a man and woman Into one another's company at the fep v proper time, in the proper place, and there's bound to be a marriage 1* Of all the marriages that the post office "Cupid" has engineered there has P; j, never been a failure. '%•;ffe!hi^Not one divorce," he insists, "and only three broken engagements. c,„"{ -That's happiness enough for a homely guy like me!" - y fi'v Indiana Merchants Put Skids Under Old H. C. L '$•4 '• BRAZIL, IND.--That the excuse for exorbitant prices for foodstuffs and j ^ D other necessities of life is flimsy Is being illustrated in this little city In a •jjfej1s showing up the true buying power of a dollar In such a i&Hr?' ' * * fashion that Brazil is getting some nation- wide publicity, while the residents of the city are benefiting from the existing state of affairs. Competition between rival grocers and proprietors of meat markets is largely responsible for beating down the cost of living here and it Is contended that one can buy provisions In Brazil cheapen than in almost any city of its size in the entire country. Farmers have been bringing their ' apples and pears to the city to sell for $L50 a bushel, while sorghum has been on the market here at $1 a gallon and fine strained* honey has been selling at 25 cents a pound, the latter aiding materially during the recent sugar famine, which was on here as in other places. I While about everything in the line of eatables has been at rock-nottom prices recently, the following are a few of the prices that prevailed, an argument that somebody Is profiteering in other cities where higher prices are charged: * 1 Boiling beef, pound, 6 cents; young roast beef, 81-3 cents; beefsteak, 10 cents; veal chops, 25 cents; veal stew, 20 cents; hamburger. 10 cents; sausage, 12% cents; mutton chops, 22% cents; best breakfast bacon, 34 cents; hams, 33 cents; porterhouse steaks, 18 cents; potatoes, bushel, $1.90; Kansas flour, ffivpir 24 pounds, $1.35; pears, bushel, $1.50; pure lard, No. 5 pall, $1.35; pork chops, pound. 33 cents; pork steak, 30 cents; coal delivered, ton (bituminous), $855; best block coal, delivered, $4.40; cabbage, 10 pounds, 40 cents; bread, standard loaf, 9 cents; toilet goap (15-cent cake), 5 cents; laundry soap, 5 cents; rent, modern five-room house, $20; children's shoes, 9 to 12 sizes. $1.98 to $2.69; women's shoes, $2.48 to $4.98; men's dress shoes, $2.98 to $4.98. Low' prices here are not due to low wages. Girls at the furniture factory are making from $18 to $30 a week and male labor is correspondingly higher. Badger Potato Supply Divided Into' Four Grades MADISON, WIS.--Despite the fact that the country is experiencing a shortage of potatoes, standard grades for Wisconsin potatoes are announced by the state division of markets. These grades arefotir: Wisconsin Badger brand. U. S. grade No. 1, U. S. grade , No. 2, and unclassified grade. While the majority of the states will be glad enough to get tubers of any dimensions, Wisconsin Badger brand potatoes must be of minimum diameter of : f not less than two inches and of maxi- I mum diameter of not more than three 1 Inches. | U. S- grade No. 1 stipulates minimum diameter of 1% Inches for potatoes of round varieties, and 1% inches for potatoes of long varieties. U. S. grade No. 2 prescribes minimum diameter of 1% inches. > Unclassified grade includes all potatoes not conforming to Wisconsin V; Badger brand, U. S. grade No. 1, U. S. grade No. 2. \ Regulations of the division of markets provide that an official seal will / • ; |j» furnished at cost to packers of Wisconsin Badger brand potatoes. No person shall sell potatoes as Wisconsin Badger brand unless such potatoes art marked with this official seal. If any person labels potatoes "Wisconsin Aadger brand" which do not conform to that grade the seal may be revoked. Rules of the division of markets permit variatlon#of 5 per cent in sixc «nd of 3 per cent in other requirements of the Badger grade. Variations of 9 per cent in size and of 6 per cent in the remaining requirements are permitted -4jttE jjjTfUt^ps ,1 St» Red-Headed "Dan Cupid" Leads Many to Happiness SAN FRANCISCO.--"Dan Cupid" has a self-appointed helper working behind the money-order window in the San Francisco post office. His name is Dan Slattery, and he's steered at least 20 couples of postal employees along the rosy road of romance. Dan's a funny little red-headed Irishman, poi« eessed of a pair of bright blue eyfi* that twinkle and a broad mouth that's ' continually breaking Into a whimsical grin. His specialty is "framing" mar- There still are fairies In Ireland,, declares the Ulster Folklore, which explains by saying: To many, perhaps, this statement will be really news. Of course, anyone who has never taken any interest In the matter at all knows that in the days gone by there were plenty of them from one end Of the green isle to the other--are not their old haunts, the thorn bushes, their raths, forts, coves and souterralnes still to be found In every corner of Ireland just as they have existed since time out of mind? But it has been the general belief that the fairies themselves long ago, In one fashion or another, had forsaken or been driven froni their secret places, the last hegira being placed at as modern a period as the middle of the nineteenth century--the night of the big wind, In fact when they were all supposed to have been blown into the sea with the exception of a few that landed in Scotland. The error of that belief, however, has been scientifically ascertained In a series of investigations pursued by Miss Elizabeth Andrews, F. R, A. L, for a decade or so. "The belief is general," Miss Andrews says, "that these,little people were at one time very numerous throughout the country, but have now disappeared from many of their former haunts. At Ballynahlnch I was told they had been blown away 50 years ago by a great storm, and the caretaker at Killevy said they had gone to Scotland. They are, however, supposed still to Inhabit the more remote parts of the country, and the old people have many stories of fairy visitors and of what happened in their own youth and in the time of their fathers and grandfathers." WAS PIONEER IN WIRELESS f:', r L'.'v * 4V*-' James Bowman Lindsay, Scottish Engineer, Has Not Been Given the Credit He Deserves. Little Is heard about James Bowman Lindsay, and much about wireless telegraphy, yet the career of the one and the history of the other are inseparable, says the Christian Science Monitor. Upwards of sixty years ago Bowman Lindsay operated a system across the River Tay, a distance of one and a half miles, just above the bridge the construction of which ranks as one of the most notable feats in engineering. His efforts failed to attract attention at the time, however, because of his retiring disposition; but the history of electrical research records few names more deserving of respect than his. He was a pioneer in the application of electricity for heating and lighting purposes and bespoke a great future for it. Apropos of Bowman Lindsay, as he was familiarly known, it is interesting to note that his energies were not wholly directed to the advancement of the mechanical arts. He was a linguist and as such started out to translate the Bible into many different languages. Seven years' labor was expended on the task, and the work was far from being finished when it had to be abandoned. The Bible, In incomplete form, may still be seen in the Albert institute, Dundee, Scotland. It lies open in a glass case and shows that the method employed was to divide the book into the requisite number of columns and in each column place the words In English and their equivalent in each language Into which they were translated. Dangerous Counterfeit. The most expert means of counterfeiting American greenbacks has been discovered by the state police in the Adirondacks lumber camps, where $20, (50 and $100 notes were being duplicated. Banking experts have pronounced them the most clever counterfelts In existence. The information now In the hands of the state police Is to be tiirned over to the United States department of justice. The secret of the device is a machine which is capable of splitting the thin note paper on which American notes are engraved and permitting the face and back of the note to be stripped from each other. Waxed paper is then laid over each half of the note and a solution applied to transfer enough of the original ink to the waxed paper to make an exact dupll- Cute of the note. The waxed sections to which the ink has been transferred are then pasted to the opposite half of the good note and in this way two bank notes exactly alike are produced. DAMW EVENING •UTCHER BlftD. "Tve gota nice sounding name,* S8?d the Butcher Bird, whose real name was Collared Butcher Bird. His friends in the bird house of the zoo called him Butcher Bird because the whole of his name was too long. "It's a nice name for it makes me sound rather prosperous and comfortable and all of that," he said. "That's what people say when they come to the zoo. I fancy butchers are very rich and very superior, something like kings, I Imagine, who wear* aprons instead of crowns. "But in many ways I believe they're like kings, with subjects and all «of Jhat. ^ "Anyway It Is nice to think ^one has a prosperous, rich name. When I was wild in the south-jast part of Australia I never thought so much about my name. "I dressed the Same way th«re as here. My orange beak and gray feathers were all that I cared for in the way of dress and style. "I've always had a few feathers arranged coming back from my head and hanging down my back." "Yes," said the Masked Jay Thrush In the next cage, "you always have as long as I've known you here, and I don't imagine you've changed your ways much." "Of course," said the Butcher Bird, "when I was free I had different sort of food. I used to eatf Insects and small birds and mammals and lizards, and I used to enjoy them thoroughly. I am about the size of a large shrike In case anyone doesn't know what I look like in size." "Yes, you used to do all those things. Now I am different and I will tell you why," said the Masked Jay Thrush. "I am a thrush and I come from Japan. Some of my family come from southern China and some from Slam. I am one of the rarest of the Jay thrushes but little is known of my ways and my habits when I am wild and free. I do not tell secrets. I keep things to myself. I do not let anyone know about me, and my family are all the same. We keep things to ourselves." Just then a number of the Jay Thrush's brothers and sisters and cousins came and sat alongside of him. They were all very affectionate and sat near together. , The Black Throated Jay Thrushes from China were sitting huddled close together, too. "We come from China," one of them said. "There we live in the great and Home Life Declared by itefaneeon ts Be Pnactleally Ideal--Hospitable In the Extreme. Vilhjalmur Stefansson, in writing of his 13 months' stay among the Eskimos, tells of their great kindness to a guest who could not pay for his keep, says Harper's, a stranger whose purpose among them thfey did inot know, thus: "In an Eskimo home I have never heard an unpleasant word between a man and his wife, never seen a child punished nor an old person treated Inconsiderately. The household affairs are carried on In an orderly way and the good behavior of the children Is remarked by practically every traveler. "In many things we are the superiors of the Eskimo and In a few we are his Inferiors. The moral value of some of his superiority Is small. He can make better garments against cold than our tailors and furriers; he can thrive in barren wastes where a New Englander would starve. "But of some of his superiority the moral value is great. He has developed individual quality further than we, he is less selfish, more helpful to his" fellows, kinder to his wife, gentler to his child, more reticent about the faults of his neighbor than any but the rarest and best of our race. "When I tried to express thanks for their kindness in my fragmentary Eskimo, they were more surprised than pleased. " 'Do, then. In the white man's land, some starve and shiver while others eat much and are warmly clad?* "To that question I said 'No,' although I knew I was lying. I was afraid the competitive Bystem could not be explained to them satisfactorily; neither was I, being the poorest among them, very anxious to try Justifying it" HE WANTED to KNOW. A party of Americans was being conducted over the ancient abbey in one of our famous old towns. The learned attendant pointed out the ages of the various parts, and referring to one arch in particular, said, "That arch may possibly go back to William the Conqueror." "Don't you like it?" promptly asked one of the sightseers. The attendant signified that he did not understand. Well, why are you sending It back, anyway?" was the reply. "Dont It suit you?"--London Tit-Bits. Something* The College Boy--Dad, I wish you'd spare me a hundred. His Father--It's outrageous. You're twenty and you've never made anything for yourself. The College Boy--Beg pardon, sir, but I always make my own cigarettes, OLDEST OF FRENCH JOURNALS Qazette do France Was First Published 2$t Years Ago, and Is 9tlll In existence. I The -first number of the OasMte de France, the oldest newspaper In France, was published 283 years ago, May 90, 1631, under the editorial direction of Doctor Renaudot. This most powerful of the early journalists of France w*s born In 1584 and. after graduating in medicine, established himself in Paris about 1612. Richelieu and Pierre d'Hozlner, the genealogist, are said to have inspired Renaudot in establishing the Gazette, which was published weekly and consisted of two small sheets, the first bearing the title of Gazette and the second Nouvelles Ordinalres de Divers Endrolts. Doctor Renaudot established the precedent, long followed in European Journalism and by no means extinct, of presenting foreign news first and relegating domestic and local news to the last page. Soon after the establishment of the Gazette Doctor Renaudot was granted an exclusive monopoly of printing and selling newspapers in France. When the founder died in 1653 the Gazette passed to his sons. The title of Gazette de France was first used In the middle of the eighteenth century. It has been published under that title ever since, with the exception of a brief period during the revolution of 1848, when the name was temporarily changed t<* Le People Francais. CLAD FOR MM hclmsh* KAOe Malines Carillons Busy. The carillons of Malines have never been heard so much and to such splendid effect as of late. The truth Is that Malines has undertaken to get together a sufficient sum of money with which to present to St. Quentln a new carillon, the Germans having seized the bells of the French town. So every carillon of Malines has been ringing and pealing. There have been carillon concerts, one of the performers on the bells of the cathedral of St. Rombaut being the bell rlngei; of St. Quentln himself. The hymn which he played embodied the motifs of the "Marseillaise" and the "Brabanconne. All Busy. ••What's your wife doing?? "Preserving watermelon rind." ^ "So?" "And the kids are enthusiastically supplying her with the materiaL"--• Ixwlsvllle Courier-Journal. "Prosperous and Comfoi'table." heavy forests and we travel In small flocks. We are unlike the other, jay thrushes for our notes are loud and harsh. We don't care about sweet, soft notes and beautiful singing. "We have long tails which drop down over the bars of our cage as we perch here, and we lean our heads against each other and sit shoulder to shoulder to show how much we care for each other. "Once in a while we yawn'* he said, as he opened his long beak very wide. "And the two cousins who're sitting up on the topmost bar of the cage with their mouths open wide are hoping that the rain will fall through the roof into their mouths. They will find water down In .their cages but we do that when we're free and some of us do it now." "You all hqve a good deal to tell about yourselves," said the Masked Jay Thrush, "and in many ways I would like to talk. But still I like better to keep my family secrets to myself. I like to keep all the little stories of the sweet things that members of my family have done as memories too lovely to share with anyone. "And I like to keep the family ways to myself and the little things we all do. That is the way we all feel about It. We don't mean to be rude and to be quiet, but we simply cannot make ou,r family affairs public though we have nothing against those who do talk and tell interesting things in their home life." "I'm glad of that," said the Butcher Bird, "but I would have to tell my diet, you see or rather what food 1 cared about in the free state, for everyone would be interested in what the Butcher Bird did. And another thing, when I had a few lizards or small birds for dinner I never weighed them and charged myself great suns of money; no, I never did that." Improved Rivet Cutter. A pneumatic rivet cutter for use in structural steel work and In repair shops consists of a long barrel, with compressed air connection at one end and a chisel at the other, the stem of the chisel being held by a coiled spring, which draws it back after each stroke. A plunger travels freely in the barrel or tube, and a small bypass pipe connects the ends of this tube. Two men are employed, the one at the rear operating the valve and the one at the front keeping the chisel against the rivet head. The force of the blow can be regulated by the valve. Air pressure of 30 to 90 pounds may be used, the higher pressure being the more effective. A punch can be inserted in place of the chisel for backing out the rivets. In the larger slse the stroke is 40 Inches, and the weight of the machine complete is only 65 pounds. A smaller slse will eut rivets up to three-eighths of an inch in diameter. * *• , Poetic Justice. ' "What do you think ought dohe with these bootleggers?" "They ought to be left with a lot of their own licker on their hands," replied Uncle Bill Bottletop, "an' be compelled to drink It an' take tbe consequences." , • The Woman 8coreeu She--I hate a fool! He--I should never have supposed It She--Ah, you say that because have been so patient with you. *&•' % X: ,Li. • ; f Check Qave Him Nightmare. (• ' •©!> you think that the things yoo eat influence your dreams?" "Undoubtedly! I ate a slrloan , steak the other evening and dreamed 1 about bankruptcy sllflight*:.:! Not Too Much, but Too Many. -Few people attempt too much. A great multitude attempt too many things. Moderate ability concentrated accomplishes more than gtenius scattered. We may work till we drop, but If we work along too m&ny lines, we are bound Met with failure.--curls' Companion. When Bitten by a Mad Dog. When bitten by an animal that la suspected as mad, the best thing to do, according to Drs. J. C. Regan and A. Silkman of New York, who describe a recent case in Archives of Diagnosis, Is to squeeze the wound to encourage bleeding, wash It with a solution of mercuric chloride (1 In 1,000), cauterize It with fuming nitric acid, and apply a wet dressing of the mercuric chloride solution. The wound should never be sewn up; if a deep punctured wound, it should be cut open with a scalpel. The Sooner this treatment is applied the more likely it is to be successful. Afterward the routine Pasteur treatment should be taken. In the Future. .Recently several alrplanet moving over the Circle, and the usual crowd had stopped to watch them. An old woman in the crowd began counting. "One, two, three, four, five," she counted. "Five of those things." Then she turned to the man nearest her. "Did you ever see the like?" she asked. "Five of those things. Why, pretty soon the atmosphere will be Just lousy with them."--Indianapolis News. The Tummy of Tommy. Teacher--Tommy, spell "stomach." Tommy (who had Just recovered from an overdose Of gre«A apples)*- S-t-o-m-a-c-h-e I--•Cartoons. •J . V-'.> Immaterial to Him. "Going to buy any nefw clothes this year?" "Of course." >; "But the price Is ao high " "What difference does that make? I'd just as soon owe the tailor $100 as $50." Difficult Definition. "Bxactly what is bolshevlstT* fv "I wouldn't undertake to say. ] looks as if the bolshevlsts themselves were be^lRping ajiarrssl OQ tb« ] tot,- 1 mmmmm MiMmm By LOUISE HOFFMAN Gertrude Fraser was sealing th#i,*. ,* last jar of pineapple when she hean§|~ > t timid ring at the front door. Througlf • the glass panel she caught a giimpsf ^..1, of a dainty little woman in a cool whit# • \ • voile gown. She opened the door an4 found herself gazing into a pair of th^ v » loftest velvety brown eyes she had eve* «een. J? Scarcely had a word of introduction, been spoken before these comparative itrangers. Instinctively, felt a mutua^ * , Eunicf 8OMBTHING LEARNED EVERT DAY. Frank--Poor Jones! He has lost all his monjBy in a wild-cat mining company. Ethel--Mercy! I didn't know yon A te mine for wild cats. At Rehearsal. "What alls the sailors' chorus, vrmf For ther* was quit* a hitch. Th® manager replied: "Why, air,- Dw Urg can't set the pitch! --Cartoon* then He Said Good Night. Mr. Cholly Bore (11:45 p. m.)--Don't you know I could sit by your side forever. Miss Cutting Hints--Well, at the present sitting It looks as though yon intended to. «!>• Hew Mean of Her. . , Mr. Shallowpate--Which do yon think counts for most in life--money or brains? Miss Caustique--I see so many people getting along with so little of drither that it's hard to say. Poor Companjife Joax--You shouldn't judge that nan by the company that he keeps. Hoax--Why? Joax--He's the warden of the penitentiary. Very Likely. Jinks--The paper states that Bllsoq died from a complication of diseases^ Blinks--That's wrong. He died from a complication of doctors. He had six. j t TACT OF WIVES. Mrs. W.--A tactful wife keeps many little household secrets from her husband. Mrs. B.--Yes; even the fact thit she has all the brains. Epitaph, Here Ilea a miser Who would not repeM? " He died lamenting Hia breath must be spent Running No Chances. Wlfey--You knew I had friends coming to the house this evening. What do you mean by coming home an hour after they've all gone? •11 lubbyle# May Be So Miss Knowsitt--He's very rich now, but I hear he started in life as a grave digger. Miss Kuttlng--I guess that's the reason why the daughter Is so anxious to twts$.the past buried. attraction. The little Woman, Miss Eunlc^ ^ a>. '^ Sprague, was carrying an exquisite joucjuet of sweat peas, which she silen^» ' ^ ly placed In her hostess' hands. • "How lovely I" exclaimed Gertrud%4 ecstatically, "They are my favorlt^ flowers, inseparably linked with mf dearest and sweetest association^.; Why, here Is my old friend, Markjl ley," drawing forth a dusky bicclogv; , hjc ^ of huge size, "and here is Dobbielt' Cream and Wedgwood Blue and beat*. tlful Blanche Ferry with blush-whit* r wings," she rambled on, naming e#c|M In turn. . The little woman's velvet brown eyef „ glistened. "I'm sure you love them J" she murmured, sinking Into a comfort^ '• ble winged chair which Gertrude dre^- . forward. "Do you grow them?" "We planted some, but unfortunately.1 they are a liftle late." ' * Gertrude buried her flushed face tttthe delicate fragrance and drew gre^pv \ drafts of inspiration from their depth|r , She was so tired. Housework discon£» -T aged and fretted her so. There wai#: Buch an Infintte amount of detail. On# f > was never done. She could direct A * staff of servants in hotel management with comparative ease. But she foun# it quite another matter when her tw* hands must do tbe work of cook, wait. ress, chambermaid and searustresar . even if the establishment was smaB, Her Idea of rest and relaxation in i » small house, to which she had fled r : r this quiet little hamlet, had proved ft ^ . delusion. Yet here was this little woni» * an from the narrow confines of farih "• life, who had probably been a ecu#; tomed to this drudgery all her Ufl!K fairly radiating peace and quiet. They chatted away like old friends on various subjects for a few minutes, but Gertrude went back to the flower*, "Come and see my sweet pea trellis?' invited Gertrude. " "Why." exclaimed Gertrude in rap- . tures, as they entered the gardes* , "Here is a King of the Whites in blossom. They were my bridal flowers, yo» know," she explained happily remind . cent as she picked the glistening lit*'- maculate white blossom. 'i* - The little woman's velvet brown eyiA. glowed with a strange sympathy. "Hofr... i strange," she murmured. Then In a scarcely audible tone she confided "They were to have been mine, tqfc But your love story ended bapplli^i^ with a yearning wistfujness. V - Gertrude Fraser glanced up quicklg^r -4 * In a flash she saw the little woman was yearning for the prise every woman longs for. And here she was mal^ ing herself miserable because she couldn't attain an impossible Ideal In housekeeping. Suddenly, she came to a realization of her priceless blessing. "No, no, don't say It's ended happi yet," she begged, leading the way to secluded garden seat. Tbe little woman looked troubled aaNI the sadness In her eyes deepened. H was. such a shock to have this new* found friend ruthlessly dash her cher» Ished dream on the rocks. "I meant," continued Gertrude •of*; radiant as she caught the fleeting expression, "my love story is going en happily. I'm happier now than I was on my wedding day." Tbe little woman leaned forwaftt eagerly. "I'm so happy to hear yon say tbnfe" she breathed. "I knew yon ust be happy. How could you beotherwise in a dear little home like this? You know," she explained, "this: was my old home, and I've alwaysloved It. 1 was born here." Robert and 1 were to. have bee® married the year before we moved. We bad planned to have oceans of sweet peas for our wedding, and Robert bad helped me plant them. A month before our wedding Robert was obliged to make a trip to Paris, and while there war was declared." She paused a moment. "It Is five years this summer klnce 1 saw him last gaily waving bis cap as the steamer disappeared from view. Then one awful day early In the war I received official notice that be was lost In action." A motor whirled Into the drlvewsf* A young man", with tbe assured air of A welcome visitor, painfully alighted and walked over to the sweet pea trellis. As be tiUned to go to the door, the little woman caught a glimpse of his scarred features. She started forward. "B-ob," she gasped. "Is--it--really --you?" Mrs. Fraser and Bob sprang to catch tbe little woman. After a few moments. Mrs. Fraser discreetly slipped away, leaving the lovers In their first rapturous moments of reunion. A great wave of happiness engulfed her. The little woman's yearning look bad magically disappeared. She wonld bave her heart's desire--husband and Political Qoselp. -1 spoke in favor of good roods." "And what did your opponent say to that?" "He immediately spoke in favor of better roads. That fellow Is a shrewd, dangerous man." *- Explaining the Obliquity, ;4*B>w very cross-eyed Fred la getting?" "Yes ; he's dead tn love with old Kicker's daughter, you know, and when he calls on her he Invariably keeps one eye on the clock and the other^o^ the door of tl^qjd man's •v;a M$ A few weeks later. Gertrude significantly whispered Into the bride's en#, oxer a huge shower of King of the Whites. "May your love story continue happily." ' ;.fj: (Copyright, WS. McClure NewsfSper 8nfj?^ dicate.) room," sfev- " The Kind. * "I want a man who can make good speeches about natural gas." "I suppose, then, you want one can make illuminating speeches." Backwoods Currency. Into the general store of a village tn Virginia there came one day not long ago a diminutive darky who laid upon the counter a single egg and eald: "Boss, my tnudder ssys please ber a needle for dis alg." " The storekeeper smiled. "Why," he< " said, "you can get two needles for an ' v ssti. J: .wytfil' £: ••No. boss." continued the darky, "my mudder don't want no two needlea Sebe saya please give me '* g h e a a n • ' . - ^ { ^ - 5 % : ; ; / '-is??.

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