McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 4 Dec 1919, p. 6.

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iHI ! Hie pale o( horse meat may put a crimp In the high cost of living In the SfCv 1 1 United States. The average American citizen may not be aware of the iMCt,. It ^ %ttt nevertheless it Is true, that congress has opened the way for daughter " - . tftnd sale of horses as food for human beings. t In the future, if the family pocketbook will not stand the strain or put* §p a beefsteak, the good housewife may step around to the corner grocery Ei , itod buv a chunk of horse meat and still keep within the family means, fej, . ' Horses are to be slaughtered and the meat sold under regulations care- ,s ftilly prepared by the department of agriculture so as to Insure at all times tne 'Mr""* A V%holesomeness of the product. 'I,*:" v i The following announcement on the subject Is made by the department of pEv;r ^ - K j^rioulture; 11 \4l .-r0 open Up the channels of trade for some of the Inferior horses In this «onntrv that do not pay for their keep, and to increase the meat supply in Wroe of the larger cities in the United States and abroad, where horse meat U used for human food, the department of agriculture Is authorised by congress to Inspect horse meat and horse meat products. The amendment to the regulations governing meat inspection by the department was passed by congress <Mi July 24, with an appropriation of $100,000 to carry on the work during e "fecal year ending June 30. 1920. • *' "While it is expected that as a result of this amendment Inferior horses throughout the country will be slaughtered for human food, It will open a Market especially for the small horses--many of them wild--on the western ;V*ifcngc. These animals are eating much of the limited supply of range feed Which is peeded by live stock that Is better able to pay for Its keep, t.1 imitation of the und'ersirable horses not only will save feed for more worthy CBttle and sheep, but will add hides to the leather supply and increase meat stocks.*1 Every establishment In which horses are slaughtered for the preparation if food products for transportation or sale in Interstate or foreign commerce »u«-t be federally inspected under the new regulations. The slaughter or Aorees and the preparation and handling of horse meat must be conducted \;jjl establishments separated from those In which other animals are killed and handled. . , . , . All horse meat or horse meat products must be conspicuously labeled or jktaoded "horse meat" or "horse meat product" and must bear the statement S. Inspected and passed by the U. S. department of agriculture. The l^gulatlons list a number of horse diseases which, if found in any animal ilaustitered. will cause it to be condemned as food. Briefly, in making possible the utilization of horses for meat, the regulator^ p'ace the matter under federal supervision, thereby insuring that the •roduct Is clean and wholesome. The regulations, it is explained, merely provide for the inspection. The number of horses used for meat will depend •a the extent to which horses are marketed for that purpose and likewise on demand for tht product. In some cities horse meat already has- a ready •ale. 4 Cherish friendship In your brcaat, • New is good, but old is . best. new friends, but keep the Old, YMp.' Those are silver, these are gold. . What to Have for Breakfast. If ,* If a woman be her own maid, as sta- • Jfistics tell us 85 per cent of us are, dainty satisfying breakfast is her ...f ^family's by a little preparation in ads; Vance. An alarm clock to insure the right time of rising will give ample ** C^v'time to arrange the meal unhurriedly. . t- who goes mornings from n quiet \§^. '.irouse, -comfortable and well ordered :,.i^|fls twice as capable as his neighbor ' jiP:'whose wife either leaves him to pre- "•* '^ .*.;pare his own meal or comes down with *; :C'K disordered hair and apparel, and 7: IS whines at him from across a miserable *>$ brenkfast §The "uniform b r e a k f a s t " advocated by some is a most convenient one as WjU-it saves brain fag; you know just what you are to prepare and the family knows Just what they will have: how- - the mo8t of us 1,ke an occasional .. break from fruit and cereal, egg* and j:'bacon, either or both, toast and coffee, v. with perhaps a doughnut or cookey to finish off with. . A pleasing variety in the dally menu ^ 1 is secured by having a variety of prepared cereals as well as those which need cooking. In this way there is r- no chance to tire of any one kind and f»tlH* favorites may be repeated more k# (<rfi often. Codfish bails, broiled or baked <" mackerel, finnan haddie and smoked |« * salmon are fish dishes which lire per- ||;i A missible for the first meal of the day. 'Mfl Of the meats the favorites are bacon, ham. chops, corn beef hash, frizzled ,'Jty beef and calf's brains. '4 • Eggs are universally used as a break- 1'fast dish and are served In so many E't-VV. ways that one never tires of them. Omelets form an especially desirable dish. Scrambled, fried, poached, cooked In the shell, cooked in ramekins with cream, end eggs in combination with rice and other foods too numertl' oas to mention are all desirable dishes. Noise Like Airplane Adds la "Movie" Plane Scenes All Tclnds of instruments are used behind the stage in theaters and picture houses to produce imitations of noises, such as the clattering of ! (orses* hoofs, the entrance of a train nto a station, and so on; and quite elaborate machines have been thought out to produce these noises. Flight has made it necessary to Invent still another one, and a new instrument has been produced to make a noise like an airplane. Two large' disks are fitted together with partitions like a waterwheel, and holes about four inches apart are arranged round the circumference. While one man turns the "wheel" quickly round, another man pours a Jet of compressed air against the holes? and the noise is exactly like that of the motor of an airplane in flight Chance is a dicer. . ^ Without labor there is atelther ease nor rest. Success corae* IS CUMt failures incan'ta. Who will not when he can. cannot when he WHL--•-Portuguese Proverb. A pond In front and a stream behind. (Between two evils.)-- M. Greek. A man diligent In business shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men. --Bible. Philatelists Swindled by German Stamp Speculator; Fake Esthonian Stickers "A German citizen, who knows how eager the world's collectors are to obtain the stamps of the countries of the new Europe, has succeeded In pulling the wool over the eyes of philatelists, many of whom have paid as high as $30 for a set of Esthonian stamps which have proven to be fakes,'" writes Kent B. Stiles In the stamp department of Boys' Life. "When the Esths proclaimed their land an Independent republic on the day on which the armistice was signed, last November, the German citizen was living at Reval, where the proclamation was issued. He hurried to a post office and purchased stocks of the stamps which the German occupation authorities had forced the people of this former section of old Russia to use during the days of the invasion by the German troops. These stamps are Germany's own 'woman In armor' designed labels, but with the surcharge 'Postbegiet Ob. Ost.' upon them. "These occupation stamps the German citizen took with him into Germany, and upon them he had overprinted the inscription 'Eestl.' meaning 'Esthonia.' These were then allowed to circulate among stamp dealers. It was supposed that they had been legitimately issued by the Esthonian government, and they were soon regarded as being amon^ the more valuable stamps of Europe's reconstruction period." Three Grades of Beef--Note Percentage of Meat to Bone Between "Prime" en Left and "Medium" en Right--(A) Front Ribs; (B) Back Ribs. Sunflowers for Profit. The sunflower grows readily in South Africa and is cultivated to a limited extent for poultry food. In the opinion of the British and South African Gazette, large quantities could be produced if there were a demand at a ro? munerative price. Snow Huts Are Warm. A temperature between 80 and 00 degrees Is malntalnedjn Eskimo snpw huts. Fruits and Vegetables Should Not Be Wasted A pantry well filled with homecanned and otherwise preserved fruits and vegetables means more varied, attractive and wholesome diet during the winter months, as well as cheaper living. Don't let any vegetables go to waste. It will be wise economy to store all you can, dry, pickle or brine. A well-ventilated cellar is a convenient storage place. If there Is no available space there an outdoor pit storage Is satisfactory. Select a welldrained spot, pile the vegetables In a shallow trench, covgr with straw, then a layer of dirt, etc., to protect from freezing, and provide ventilation at the top. ; Fly Grows Rapidly. Tifte common house fly becomes fail grown in about four weeks after birth. Daily Optimistic Thought ft is ourselves alone that make OUT days lucky or unlucky^ (Prepared by the United States Department of Agriculture.) When the retail meat dealer buys from the wholesaler, he does noli depend altogether on the wholesale firm's honesty and good faith to secure the grade of meat he wants for his trade. Instead, keeping in mind certain points and characteristics which determine grades of beef, the retailer, before he buys and pays for it, decides for himself whether he has been given what he ordered. The housekeeper should be quite as familiar as the butcher with the various grades of beef. Few housekeepers, however, have this knowledge. Even those women who pride themselves that "cotton mixed" Is not sold .them for linen, buy beef, week after week, year after year, and depend altogether on their butcher's honesty. Not until it is cooked and served do they know whether they have been given the "choice" meat they asked and paid the price for, or only that of "medium" or "common" quality. Linen buying is only occasional, but meat buying is dally, and every woman should be familiar with the different grades of meat. Toward this end the bureau of markets, United States department of agriculture, has defined the four grades of beef. How Beef Is Usually Graded. *he "choice" grade of beef denotes the best quality usually found in the markets. Only a limited amount of what is known as "prime" beef is offered in most markets. This grade Is usually offered in limited quantities during the Christmas or holiday seasons, and Immediately following- livestock shows. "Choice" beef has a moderately even covering of fat on the outer surfaces. This fat is smooth in appearance and white in color, but is not in excessive amounts. The color of the lean meat Is light red, with traces of fat distributed through the Q5 iS&k lean on all cuts, which are taken from the loins, ribs and some parts of the round. Choice meat is firm to the touch and of fine grain. There must be no watery appearance on the freshly cut surfaces. The "good" grade of beef is next in quality to "choice" and may differ slightly in all points or correspond in some points to "choice" and dlfTer materially in others. The covering of fat is not so smooth and uniform, but must be white in color and dry in appearance. The color of the lean meat in this grade also varies slightly and may be of darker hue than the "choice" grade, but It Is not dark. "Good" beef Is. of smooth grain and has traces of fat, which is white or creamy in color, distributed through the lean. Most Beef Is "Medium." The bulk of the beef offered for sale In most markets is of "medium" grade. In this there is usually very little and often no covering of outside fat except on the loin and rib cuts. The fat is not evenly distributed. During the summer and fall months "medium" grade beef has a watery appearance and the color of the lean meat varies considerably, but Is usually dark, even when freshly cut. "Medium" beef has a tendency to turn still darker very quickly after being cut. The grain Is coarse and not uniform, and there are no traces of fat distributed through the lean. The "common" grade is the lowest quality of beef offered for sale in a fresh condition to the trade. One of its prominent features Is the high percentage of bone in proportion to the meat. There is only a slight covering of outside fat on the rib and loin cuts. "Common" beef has a flabby appearance, is dark In color, and coarse in grain. A few traces of fat may be discerned, but they usually are of a yellow color and are unevenly dis- > tributed. They were talking about pies and discussing which was the best, and, what we gathered from the cheerful controversy, all were the best. The person who stood up for the good old apple pie was Just as eloquent In his references to the peach or pumpkin pie. In fact, ^ach person would hurry through the praise of one kind of pie in order to champion another, which convinced us that of all the varieties of food in this world the pie Is the blessedest Sometimes you will find a man who doesn't eat pie, but watch him. Pie is a remedy for many distempers. We one time cured a ferocious sick headache with a quarter of mince pie, and that, too, on the advice of a physician. One of the party never heard of a mulberry ftle, and what a barren life she mnst have led. We are through With the cherry pie era and with what Joy it has filled the world! We rme to the berry era, and first of all there Is the huckleberry pie, which berry has rescued from sunshine and soil all the grace of the earth. If a man does not like a huckleberry pie, it is because the pie or himself has not been well made. The black raspberry pie stands away ufc on the snowy peaks of perfection and for picnic purposes it is unparalleled. When we eat raspberry pie In the woods we feel that the Dryads are feeding us from their Illy white hands. There are other glorious pies, of course, but we must have room to say that the glory of a pie is In the grace and charm of the cook. The pastry depends upon her temper, and the pastry Is three-fourths of a pie. If we were going to get married again, we #ouId arrange a pastry-making contest, and the damsel that made the best pastry we would marry--if wo could.--Ohio State Journal. ' . - -£v>- UNABLE TO ANALYZE DRUG Too Much. ^ •Irfe"' De Sapp--Do you think that Miss / Clever was having fun with mot De Soft--Well, old chap, give ,me< the details. De Sapp--You see, I had my bull ' terrier with me. And I said to her.v^.-'^'Jg! "That dog knows as much as I do."'; v And she said, "Don't you think $4J»0 • " was too much to pay for himr'fssv^*?^^;^« -- j Pure Fiction Mostly, s - "l see Sellem, the traveling salea-^ V^ man, has written a novel." "I didn't know he had imagination^ enough for that!" ). Tut-tut. He's been making out «>4 lease accounts for 15 years.1 0 WIuu *» SELECTION AND CARE OF USEFUL UTENSILS First Decide if Device Will Pay for Itself in Long Run. Often They Are Cumbersome and Difficult to Clean--Few Drops of Water •prlnkled on Duster Take* Up the Dirt Easily. Doesn't Wait for Him to Offer It "I sometimes wish you'd give mo a little money without my having to ask for it," said she. "I sometimes wish you'd give me the chance," said be. TheVjMale. i' t A Bweet Omelet. " ^'Separate, the whites and yoilts of the eggs using four, six or eight, the ' number suitable to the family appt tite. Beat well, season with salt and a dash of cayenne, add as many tablespoonfuls of cold water as there are eggs, adding it to the yolks when beating them. Turn the yolks into the stiffly beaten whites: pour Into a hot well-buttered, smooth omelet pan to which has been added a half capful of blanched almonds. Cook as usual, fold and serve with hot maple sirup. "T'ttlJUc •Ton My the fight was suspended. Di«1 the defendant go home in the interim?" "No. sir, he went to the hospital la an ambulance." Still Popular. - \ "Tea, I manufacture candhML** "Dear me, do people -ise c&ndles still?" "Oh" yes. I sell a good many lor birthday cakes.4* A Royal One. "What a pretty flush Miss Bertha hud In her cheeks the other evening." "Not half as pretty a one as I had In my hand." Encouragement. "Can you find room for this little poem I dashed off today?" "Certainly; plenty of room. There Isn't a thing in the waste-basket Just now." -- The Great Constructor. "What we want is constructive criticism," said the artist. "What is your idea of constructive criticism?" ( •The kind our press agent writes.' Holding It Over KJm. "That fellow can't pay you. Why don't you call his account square?" "Wouldn't do," said :he merchant. "He'd Immediately want to open up another line of credit." Frank About It. "So you are engaged?" "Yes." "How romantic! Is he your ideal?" "No," said the girl candidly, "merely the best offer T f-ould get."--l^r ville Courier-Journal. British Maidens Sigh in Vain for Husbands While Living Cost Grows Higher ; Shortage of men and the high cost jSf loving are responsible for the husbandless plight of at least 2,000,000 British maidens. The swain finds that diamonds have Advanced 75 per cent. Wedding rings have Increased in price on almost the same ratio as engagement rings. What IS still more ominous for the man who IS "Inclined to become a husband is the fact that the average British maiden «*ts more than she did before the war. jy War work encouraged large appe- •' tttes, but long endurance of bully-beef hashes and stews and enforced acquaintance with Irish and other varieties of stews have made those formerly delectable dishes somewhat unpalatable to the maiden who. during the tbue the Germans were being whipped. • was stimulating her energies with plain "grub." i v : ^ bo* of good chocolates that used eost 50 cents now fetches $1.25 to $1.50 a pound. In the frowsiest movie theater they get 60 cents for a fairly good seat that formerly was sold for 25 cents. When It comes to after-marriage expenses the intended husband finds that household furniture has gone up at least 800 per cent. A piano costs $300 or $600. A respectable baby carriage sells for $40 to 8*50. Shoes are $12 to $15 a pair. As to rent, if a man cannot buy furniture at its present exorbitant price he must pay $40 to $60 a week for a sujall furnished flat. The Future. **Of course, we must think about thr' future." "Yes," agreed Senator Sorghum "But each man should honestly try to do his own thinking. Too many of us are satisfied to consult a fortune teller." (Prepared by the United States Departmerit of Agriculture.) Before buying any household device, decide whether it will pay for itself In the long run by saving time and jstrength or wear and tear, or if it will jmake some especially disagreeable task ; less unpleasant. Devices which can be used for many purposes are seldom employed by the housekeeper for more than one, and often they are more cumbersome to handle and less easily cleaned. ^ Long handles on brooms, brushes, and dustpans save the back, the office of home economics kitchen of the department of agriculture suggests. • cleaning cloth should be soft and loosely woven, so that It will take up dirt easily and itself be easy to clean. A duster takes up dirt better if few drops of water or oil are sprinkled on it. Beware of too much moisture or oil, for it leaves streaks. For wiping very dirty places use soft paper, cotton waste, or rags, which may be thrown away. Keep the cleaning things together in a convenient place. Put them away clean. Hang brushes, mops and brooms when not in use. Clean string mops by shaking over a diamp newspaper or a can. Never shake in the open air unless you are sure the dirt will not trouble you or your neighbors. Wash occasionally In hot water with washing soda or soap and dry quickly. Sprinkle a few drops of oil on the oil mops after cleaning. Clean carpet sweepers frequently. Empty the box on damp newspaper and use old scissors and buttonhook or coarse comb, to remove the hairs and dirt on the brushes. Keep the beaiv ings oiled. HOUSE CLEANING SIMPLIFIED Easier to Keep Dirt From Walks, Steps and Porches Than to Clean Rugs and Carpets. (Prepared by the United States Department of Agriculture.) Keeping the dirt out of the house as far as possible is the first step in simplifying house cleaning. It is easier to keep walks, steps, porches, and sills clean than to remove the dirt from rugs and floors after it has been tracked inside the house. Clean shoes and rubbers mean less dirt for the housekeeper to combat. When cleaning, remove the dust thoroughly. Bight methods mean removing, not scattering the dust about to settle again. Do the heavy cleaning a little at a time and avoid the spring and fall house cleaning. Use water and cleaning agents sparingly. Too much of either Injures wood and all finishes as well as weakening glue, paste, and cement Always nib until dry the surface which has been dampened. Train the family to leave things in place and in good condition. Good habits are worth cultivating, and this one also simplifies the work of the housekeeper. Intoxicating Principles of Powerful Nareotic, "Cohoba," Remain < Mystery to Chemists. 4 When Columbus arrived at the island of Haiti he and his followers were Interested to observe a curious practice of the natives, who were accustomed on ceremonial occasions to make usfe of a narcotic snuff productive of a sort of hypnotic state, with vision supposed to be supernatural. The tribal wizards, or priests, while under the influence of the drug, were accustomed to hold communication with unseen powers, and their mutterlngs were construed as prophecies and revelations of hidden things. The snulf was called "cohoba." and, in the form of a fine powder, was Inhaled through a forked wooden tube, the forks being Inserted in the nostrils and the lower end of the tube buried in a little heap of the snuff, which was held on a tray of carved wood. Sometimes large snail shells were used for snuff boxes. The mimosa-like tree from which the snuff is obtained Is plentiful along the banks of the Orinoco and the Amazon. It grows In Haiti, Porto Rico and other islands of the Antilles. The seeds yielded by Its pods are dried, roasted and ground to powder, which is sometimes mixed with lime from calcined snail shell. Only recently has this tree been Identified by Dr. W. E. Safford of the government plant bureau ap the source of the snuff, the origin of which has hitherto been a puzzle. The chemical properties of the drug are still unknown and so its intoxicating principle remains a mystery. r' ,, SHE WAS TROUBLED, Mrs. A.--Are you troubled muoh is your neighborhood with borrow* tag, Mrs. T.--Yes, a rood deal. Mjr neighbors never seem to have a^tWa* T A',." 4f- Robust. Cupid 1« a healthy pet, < -w * As rugged aa of old. I v He wears no clothea whatever. He never catches cold. A Profitable Benefit. L First Actor--How did your, benedjt come out, old map? ,; Second Actor--F^rst rate. Alter I'lfe paid the expenses I found I wai three laurel wreaths to the good. Light on a Dark Subject. Ooansel--It was pitch dark, you ad« mlt. Then- how could you see the prisoner, I would like to know? Witness--Oh, very easily. Don't yo# Observe that he is lantern-jawod. / Record Was Known. "I have something I want to say t$|f7 you alone." t*r "How can you say it to me alon* " when you've said It to every girl yot know already?" A, Guess. School Teacher--Tommy, what tstha feminine corresponding to the masculine "stag"? ; Tommy (whose mother is a society leader)--Afternoon tea, ma'am. DCMfc Sat Down Hard, Too. The Englishman--The sun sets on British territory, The American--No; but the God* af Columbia did it twice, though. rnousE Smoke as They Worship. A recent visitor to Peru records that in the Church of La Merced Lima, he noticed one of the congrega tion smoking a cigar, while the service was going on. and through the open door of the sanctuary he caught a glim put* of a bishop who was about to preach indulging In the same luxury. The preacher was attired In full episcopal robes, and had tuckeo his handkerchief under hiR chin to prevent these being soiled by ashes. Offering the Proof. Ton tread very heavily, old chap. Sometimes you fairly shake the celling of my flat." "Oh. say. I can hardly believe ?hat." "Well, come down sometime , and listen to yourself walking about overhead." B&:- /,• -"MMf "-• * • nL-' : J' Many Rubber Stamps. . It has been estimated that lOO.OOO.W*1 rubber stamps are in use in the United ' Whale Slow But Sure. The ordinary speed of a whale is about live miles an hoflr. Hardpressed. n speed of 15 has been rs corded, but not ivevond that. Useful Vacuum Cleaner. A carpet sweeper or a vacuum cleaner should be used in the daily cleaning of the carpets and rugs. A vacuum cleaner operated by hand or electric power removes practically all the dust and dirt from carpets and nigs In du&tless manner. Ginger Helps Doughnuta. Donghnuts will not absorb the fat If you put a quarter teaspoonful of ginger into the dough. The spice will not effect the taste. Avoid Unpleasant OdMV' Do not put the cover on the Sfitlcepan when boiling cabbage and you will avoid the unpleasant odor in cooking. Value of Milk In Diet Some questions nbout food may be debatable, but the value at milk in the diet is not one of them. Slices of fresh cucuuiU# very good tonic for the skin. • • • Always eihpty the water fit if a kettle before refilling It. • • • Potato salad should be made of cold boiled, not baked, potatoes. • • • Iced tea Is Improved by some slices of orange as well as lemon. * * * The pantry shelves are best covered with white oilcloth, cut to fit. * • • The stove will keep its polish If It Is rubbed dally with a newspaper. • * • Use borax in tepid water for washing silk handkerchiefs. Iron dry. • * • A paint brash is excellent in ignoring dust from carvings on furniture. , » • • Pour melted lard between the frame and of a window that sticks. • • * If huckleberries are tough skinned they should be cooked before eating. * * • Whenever possible lettuce should be dressed with lemon Instead of vinegar. • • • One chicken, boned and made Into a gelatin, is enough for twelve helpings. Frightful ExperleftO»i "What was my most thrilling experience?" mused the ex-pllot. "Ah! I could never forget it It was a bright Starlight night, but the lurid flashes around us obscured all else as we sped through the air. The advancing enemy was hard upon us, while all around we heard the weird, savage music so terribly familiar, and the thud as of a thousand falling meteors. We dived, looped, corkscrewed till our senses were numbed. I felt a sharp pain in my right foot a dull weight in my side--I was falling, falling-- and knew no more till I found myself lying on the ground badly smashed some hours later." "And that was really your .record aerial engagement?"* "No," he replied; "It was my first experiment with the jazz."--Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. Paying the War Cost Referring to the cost of th« war. Secretary of War Baker told the finance committee of the senate and house that the total outgo In round numbers would be $30,000,000,000; but $9,000,000,000 of this was loans to our allies. Nearly a third of the net cost1 has already been paid out of money raised by taxation. The other twothirds was obtained from the five Liberty loans. If we pay a billion a year, besides Interest, we can clear off the war cost In about twenty-one years. Big Contribution to War. One of the most striking contributions of the United States to the war was the enormous quantity of smokeless powder high explosives produced, says the Scientific American. From April 1, 1917, to November 11, 1918, we produced 632 million pounds of smokeless powder, which was almost exactly equal to the combined output of Prance and Great Britain. Annapolis Uniform. ' <Phe Annapolis graduation uniforms cost $720, and this amount, at the rate of $180 a year, Is taken from the $600 a year which the United States pays to the youth from the moment ho outers the naval academy. "C'Est la Guerre." Wells--Just as I expected. Since G'Abley returned from his visit to the war zone he has had a great deal to Had No Voice First Vocal Teacher--Are you cultivating Miss Gotrox's volot? Second Vocal Teacher--No* Imagination. y | No Need for Anxiety. "Jack says if I don't marry him he Will blow his brains out" "Don't worry. That would be a physical impossibility." Naturally. v s "Why don't you make a fierce ply to that man's impudent question f? "I am afraid a reply In thii cai» wouldn't answer."1 Her Hit. First Hobo--The woman- of house made a big hit with me. Second Hobo--By her personality? First H.--No; with her rolling pin. Cruel Comment ?*My husband says I am as youaf and beautiful to him now as when WO were first married." "Then why doesn't he go In time to Bee a good oculist?" The Reason. "There is a great deal of phere about dear Gwendoline'* ters." "Why. Is she sending them fef air route?" > . ^ If food threatens to sour In muggy j any. weather It can sometimes bo saved by I Delli reheating. ||» ermlous. he was prett* tftt&ifiaMli&iAii* Other People's Money. "I knew that man when he dldgfl have a dollar he could call his own.** "Yes. He has gotten more nerve about calling things his own than he used tp htive." Great Idea. Ernest" • • Fve got a splendid for preventing these numerous fatal sccldents caused by deer hunters shooting each other. ' Edith--What is It? ^ Ernest--«Let only one ifian' huat )|i a tiapa. ; ; ; •?'*' She'd Be 111.' "What' is the meaning of lhe Verb to purchase'?" • * "Don't know, ma'am." , "Well, now, if your papa gave your mamma $50 to buy a new hat and dress what would she do?" • "Send me after the doctor, ma'am." ,1' •."'•'jSSHis Rival. . Friend--You have been engaged fat ' th* last two years, and can well afford to marry. Why don't you do It? Mr. Kissem (gloomily): I ' teg for her pet dog to die.

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