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*irteeple met her ,r \i When Ella Needed f.. |j \_4r:' rv Hr R. KAY BAKER ^ 0 0 0 0 0 0 • 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 l»ilr 11 IfaCtaM N«w»pa»er 8r»Slc*te.) Walter Creston accepted one of Mr. Qare's cigars, bit off the mouth end, lighted the other and settled himself la a chair. I Ton wished to tee me 7" he Inquired rather listlessly. There was a dreamy, discouraged look In his pale gray eyes. Mr. Clare's mouth was curved in a beneficent smile. "Yes," returned Mr. Clare as a wreath of smoke from his cigar merged with one from Clare's. He cleared his throat. "It's about Ella." Walter appeared suddenly to lose aome Of his listlessness,' and his eyes Showed interest. For a moment he •eemed fired with a now interest in life, and he opened his mouth as if to speak only to sink back again In the grasp of lethargy, the blaze burned Mt "Tea, It's about Ella," said Mr. Clare. "You wish, to marry her, I under' stand." "I do," Walter affirmed, "but what's the use? Last night I asked her for the fifth time this year and she turned me down again. Said, as she has said before, that she felt no need of a man. Sh£\was getting along very well, she tol<l ^ne, without any masculine person to look after her. and she could see no reason for accepting added responsibilities to her cares in the form of me. Furthermore, she informed me that I was Ineligible, because I had no fixed purpose in life, and lacked thoroughness in everything I undertook. I guess It's because I've led a rather easy life, not being obliged to dig for a living, and as a consequence I've had a fling at several different businesses and professions and never got anywhere with any of them. I've got to go to work now, though, for the money left'by my father is about played out. Td be thorough and make a success of myself, too, If only I had Ella lor an Incentive." "Did she torn yon down cold 7^ asked Mr. Clare. "You know, I've rather favored yon for a son-in-law. and frankly I'd like to see you win out. That's why I asked you up here this afternoon--to give you some advice." "No; she didn't turn me down cold. She said, in fact, that she'd probably marry me when the time came, provided I didn't find some one else in the meantime, but just now she didn't want to be bothered with a husband." "Ella's a queer girl," remarked her father, knocking a knob of ashes Into a tray. "She's what you might call whimsical. The stage has to be set Just right before she makes up her mind tovlnythlng, then she makes it up quickly, does the thing under contemplatiokjisd- Tamains satisfied witl^ her decis^n. "5*ow here's a pointer for youv sing Ella with me on a / trip tor my mines in Montana. We're leavtrfg next Monday by automobile. there are plenty of chances for psychological moments in the foothills of the Kockies. You need a trip for your health, Walter, and you have a nice big touring car and several friends who would make jolly companions. One in particular I think of--that young minister who was recently ordained. I would suggest him for such a trip. Please don't think I'm meddling and that I am trying to marry off my daughter, but I like you. Waiter, and I'd like to see you win out. This is merely a suggestion, of course. You will not hurt my feelings by refusing." i With Mr. Clare and his daughter went two men. They carried a com piefie camping paraphernalia, including a tent, but when opportunity offered they made use of deserted shacks along the route of travel. As soon as the party entered the foothills of the mountains some longhidden chord in Ella's nature began to respond to some strange call sent out by the peaks of the Rockies that loomed against the sky. The constant talk of business by her father and his companions bored her almost to dis traction, and she communed with her self and nature whenever a chance arose. This constant discourse on money matters seemed to her to be profaning the sanctity of the wilds. One night Ella left the shack In which the party was quartered and made her way down the rather rough mountain road, stopping now and then to gaze pensively at a multitude of stars that shone from a clear sky, Down the road she remembered passing that day a quaint little tumbledown church, and she made this edifice the goal of her night ramJle. Her father had cautioned her to remain dose to camp and she had intended to obey; but the church was farther than she had thought, and, besides, she was in a pensive mood which took no count of time or distance. Finally a* tiny cross on a decaying against the sky, and she made for ft. She wanted to enter, but the silence of the Interior repelled her, so she seated herself on a stone nearby and let her mind wander. How long Ella sat there ruminating she did not know, but suddenly she came to herself with a start. A strange feeling of foreboding seemed to grip her. She glanced at the sky and saw that the stars had withdrawn behind a black spread. Only the half-moon stared down coldly. Its face pale behind a shroud of clouds. It was not cold, but Ella shivered and drew her light shawl tightly about Her neck. Far beneath her, in the canyon that began a few paces from her feet, a wild wail rent the air, the cry of some prowling animal. Then absolute stillness prevailed, a weird, ominous stillness. Ella became afraid, although what there was to be afraid of she could not say. She wished her father was there to put a protecting arm around her, to make her feel secure against the unseen peril. The solitude was terrible, and she arose from the rock, Intending to flee to camp. But she seemed paralysed. It was simply the grip of the big outdoors night that had fastened on her, but she felt an unfathomable terror, and she wanted to scream. ' If only her father were there--or some one else to break the solitude. Yes, If Walter Creston only would appear on the scene with one of his everlasting proposals, she would welcome him. Walter Avas a pretty good sort, even If he did lack thoroughness, and probably she would marry him some day. Anyhow, she needed some one now. Of a sudden she realized that she needed a man! . Down the mountain road she heard a humming sound. At first it increased her terror until she realized It was the motor of an automobile. Presently around a curve flashed a pair of electric eyes, and up. the road rolled a Twentieth century chariot. Ella forced her feet to carry her into the center of the road, and there she stood and held up a trembling hand. The car stopped. Its lights resting on her. Out of the machine clambered four male figures. Hello--It's Ella!" exclaimed the foremost, and as he entered the light she recognized Walter. Without preliminary words she threw herself Into his arms. Presently khe withdrew from the embrace and stammered an explanation. I was just wishing you were here," she said in Concluding. •Good!" he ejaculated. "At last you feel the need of a man.' There is no lime like the present. Will you marry me?" She hesitated. Glancing aloft she saw the pale moon looking down, not quite so coldly now. In the distance high peaks loomed, not so forebodingly now. The restless motor was keeping the silence broken. Solitude was shattered by the four motorists. But still there was; that strange grip of the outdoors, of wide distances, and in her breast her heart was pounding, but not now with, fear. "Yes," she whispered, "whenever you say."^^ ° ^ "Very well," said Walter, "let's make It right now." "You foolish boy," she laughed. "Don't you know we need a minister and a license--and I've always wanted a church wedding." "That's easy," he returned. "There's a minister in my party, and I've brought a license with me from the East; and what's that ruined building over there? It looks as if it might have been a church once." "You win, Walter," she admitted. "It's a church all right. No one can say are not thorough now." Country Is Never Far Away! The question is often asked, how can a man In a city write of a country far away that he has not seen for years. But that country is never far away and the man looks over into it unceasingly. He has but to lift his eyes to see it--as clearly as he sees the people in the streets. Such pictures of outdoor life are for any one a freat possession, a divine indestructible wealth; and it is for the simple sake of trying to spread the love 'of nature--of scattering broadcast such wealth--that he has written down these words with a certain childish figure so much in evidence; but this boy was the only one that he had the right to use as an Illustration.--James Lane Allen. World Would Be Better If Mors of % Ms Him the Ideas of That jf*- • • r Uttte Newsboy. brtght-eyed, barefooted, shabby little fellow was working his way through a crowded car, offering his papers In every direction, in a way that showed him well used to the business and of a temperament not easily daunted. The train started while ho was making change and the conductor, passing him, laughed. "Caught this time, Joe!" he said, "You'll have to run to Fourteenth St" "Don't care," laughed Joe In return. *1 can sell all the way back again." A white-haired old gentleman seemed interested In the boy and questioned him concerning his way of ^living and his earnings. There was a younger brother to be supported, it appeared. "Jimmy" was lame and "could not earn much himself." . "Ah, I see. That makes it hard; JOti could do better alone." The shabby little figure was erect In a moment and the denial was prompt and somewhat indignant. "No, I couldn't! Jim's somebody to go home to; he's lots of help. What would be the good of bavin' luck if nobody was glad? Or of gettln' things If there was nobody to divide with?" "Fourteenth street!" called the conductor, and as the newsboy jumped out into the gathering dusk the old gentleman remarked to nobody in particular: "I've heard many a poorer sermon than that."--Forward Magazine. SOHO MAY BE SWEPT AWAY Picturesque Part of London Sched- 1 ; *M to Yield to the DenM f • • of Comn\eroe. *;•' '* : £0'-; Two picturesque slices of okj Lon. don, known to tens of thousands of- Amcricans, may soon be scooped aw$jr to satisfy the demands of commerce. Soho and the parish of St Giles--or Sei^MADials, as it is better known-- are Sbout to begin their passage into history and be converted into the most modem business district of the metropolis, possibly a second city of London. Soho, which probably derived Its name from the duke of Monmouth's famous battle-cry "Soho" at Sedgmoor, has experienced many vicissitudes of fortune. In the olden days regarded as one of the fashionable quarters of London, it gradually became the home of bohemianism and the haunt of Sam Pepys and Goldsmith. Today Its dingy and uninviting streets are lined with French, Italian and Swiss restaurants, where Londoners and visitors 'may ^Ife^irn what the much-praised foreign cookVjg really is. The whole district is nbw almost entirely inhabited by foreigners and is the favorite meeting place of the anarchists of the "tame" variety. For long It was looked upon as the equivalent of the Montmartre, but never at any time has it attained the attractiveness or liveliness of the gay Part* lan quarter. "Spirit Message" by Radio. A true story, well known in scientific Circles, records the first use of radio-telephone during the war in France. Professor W of Yale university, then In the reserve corps, was asked to witness a voice-controlled flight near Romarankln, France, Standing In a hangar on the ground, he pJacfd the receiving Instrument to his ear. The voice of an unseen person from the clouds spoke a message. The professor turned pale as he dropped the receiver. "My .God," he exclaimed, "that's Prof. Peters 1 He died nine years ago!" The professor was told that the man speaking was one .of the pilots of the 69th squadron. Soon the pilot came to earth, and walked into the hangar. He proved to be Prof. Peters' son.--Horace Green In' Leslie's. I ( v' V Lacked Beauty, T#§v; '. "Wlial was the play?" " ' " v " 'Macbeth,' " said Mr. Gawker. ; \ "How were the witches?" "I didn't think much of their interpretative dancing." * A Long Waiting List. Calgary Paper--"The entire estate totaling nearly $300,000, has been left for the purpose of building a v home for indignant people." ^ Indignant because they can't find any other home, we suppose.--Boston Transcript CITY IS BUILT ON HILLSIDE 1 bay> and on this made land are cramped the principal business houses .Valparaiso a Picturesque If Not Always a Comfortable Place in Which to Live. * Valparaiso, the greatest fMKt not of Chile, but of the west coast of South America, is the Vale. Of Paradise only comparatively. It is built la layers or strata up the steep sides Of the barren shale coast hills, stretch- Ibg for miles over the amphitheater of low mountains that surround a large aemlclrcular bay, behind which one can see jumbled masses of houses Sprawling away over th^tfiBny^ridges Until these have climbed out of sight. Wiere Is so little shore at Valparaiso that there is room in most ph*cesl»nly for two or three narrow streets following the curve of the bay, and for only one street, the entire length of ^ the town, under the edge of the cliffs, much of It occupied by the dingy, twoitory, female-"conducted" street cars, to the central part of to\vn a small •pace of flat ground has been filled la across one of the scallops of the and the central plaza, Arturo Prat. It #is here that the earthquakes do their most appalling damage. The rest of the city climbs steeply up the shale hills overhanging the business region In a jumbled riot of buildings which give the town its only picturesque and unique feature. "Mlraele R«gJp4Mlt* Simple ion, * ' Bean Understood., ___ * Oft* of the most curiously ftjt#Pest» lng of microbes Is the "miracle bacillus"--known to science as B. prodlglosus. la lis time It has boon responsible for a whole lot of excitement In former days It used ta happen once in a while that cOtasoon Ion bread developed on its surface stains of what looked like blood. The superstitious took It to be really blood, attributing the phenomenon to miracle. Today It Is known that such stains, which sometimes appear on eggs or In milk, are produced by a colormaklng bacterium, incidentally to the process of feeding upon the substance. They merely Indicate the presence of colonies of a species of bacillus that Is now identified, "cultures" of which can easily be made. When stains of the kind were found* on food in former times,' they were commonly attributed to witches or some other supernatural agency. The bacillus In question, feeding on decomposing material scattered over the ground, has been responsible for many tales of "bloody rains," which were regarded as portents of evil happenings to come. People in earlier days were Jess addicted to the habit of bathing than .Is now customary, and sometimes crimson spots appeared on parts of their persons where perspiration and dirt had accumulated. These were very alarming, being suggestive of "bloody sweats," but what the sufferer really needed was a good scrub.--Philadelphia Ledger. Hard to Bay the World Would of Aeld BIRDS ATTACK COMMON E0EMY Feathered Creatures Gather In Flock to Drive Away and Punish^--^ Marauding Squirrel. approaching casually a small copse, being attracted by the chatter of many birds. I got as near as I could without disturbing them and saw a squirrel being attacked by six missel thrushes and two jackdaws. Every time it climbed a few feet two or more birds would swoop down and flap their wings at the terrified animal. This continued for about three minutes. As I got closer the commotion ceased and the exhausted squirrel scrambled up to a fork In the tree, where It lay motionless, apparently completely out of breath. A careful search revealed no thrushes' nests, but twenty yards sway the jackdaws had a nest in an old tree. I wonder If any of your readers could give an expiration of this attack on an Inoffensive little animal.-- G. Fox Rules, Osborne, Isle of Wight. The little animal is not quite so Inoffensive as supposed, and the birds know It Squirrels whenever they have $ a chance will help themselves both to eggs and young birds, so that naturally when detected^ thejr get "mobbed."--Ed.--From, the Field.' Dollar Sign In Brazil. The monetary unit In Brazil is the Portuguese real, though in theory only, for no such coin exists; heiice In practice only the plural rels Is used and the unit is really the milfeis, or one thousand rels. For some years the milreis had remained at the fixed value of 15 to the English pound, or about 3,250 rels to the American dollar. In larger transactions the unit is the conto, one million rels. Gold Is never seen In circulation in Brazil. From the milreis to the conto there are paper notes, silver coins from five hundred to twp thousand rels and nickel pieces of four, two and one hundred, the last the tostao of popular parlance. The Brazilian places his dollar sign after the milreis and before the rels, so that 3$250 means the equivalent of a whole dollar and the man who pays $500 for a newspaper or a small glrfsg of iced cane juice does not feel that he has been unusually extravagant, at least If he has lived enough in Brazil to get the local point of view. 'Life's Various Stages. Youth scorns the Indecisions of Age and gambles deeply with life. Youth hiu& all to gain and naught but iife to lose. He learns the white hot hi$t of anger when but a child; lateivHhe suffocating hopes and godlike quality of love. Come still later many stout Jthrowbacks into reallties^-and buffetlngs which temper judgment, but the -forward march continues unabated. Zeal to live Is paramount and always must Youjh bow to Age's indecisions*, slow movements, and paralyzing fears which are grouped with Age's uncertainties. go is a man molded and the wine of - life aged.-- "Ursutf' in Chicago Tribune. Got It Straight. Israel Zangwill occasionally likes U} slip among the crowd so that he cari find out what they are thinking about his worlt, and he has never forgotten an occasion on a certain evening when he did so. It was on the first night of one of his earlier plays. Filled with all a young author's anxiety, he ventured lntp the gallery In the hope of hearing .some compliments. But there was "nothing doing," so he asked one man straight out what ho thought of the production. "Well, guv*nor," replied the man, "the leading actor ain't bad"--• i, . "Ah, yes." "; "And the leadlSg lydy, she'll "Yes, yes." "But, jftov'nor, what a play!" : Valuable Snakes. A best of snakes, 15 in number, hat heen given an asylum on a doctor's estate In Woodbury, N. J. The doctor has found that all kinds of crop-destroying injggcts^are eaten by the reptiles. The snakes are alrbut early in the morning, hide at midday and are astir again in the evening. They are of a harmless species, brown in color and are difficult to distinguish unless seen on the move. The snakes prefer to loiter around tomato and cucutnber plants, where many grub woWns are to be found. Plants over which the snakes have assumed a protectorate are standing unscathed by worms. The snakes have grown several inches since first seen.--Exchange. Prescribing for The Druggist--Sorry, son, but we're just out of castor oil. I can let you have something else that will do just as well. Bobble--Don't you think chocolate nut bars would do me as much good? . Street Crossings in Scarlet, The employment of red bands to indicate street crossings, the advantages of which were demonstrated In recent experiments, Is still under discussion. An early proposal for painting the crossings with red lead has, however, been abandoned because of the Insufficient wearing qualities of the mixture, and the municipal administration has ordered red sandstone for crossings In Alsace which will provide durable safety zones showing where pedestrians may venture without risk. It is suggested that It would be advisable to follow the example of America in drawing up strict regulations which would make the drivers of vehicles responsible in all cases for accidents occurring on the red band --From Le Petit Parlsien. " The American constitution nf ntm In a fair way to become saturated with carbonic acid gas. Reference Is not made to the document signed by the forefathers, but to the constitution that gets run down every spring and has to be perked up with cod liver oil. Well, it won't be as bad as It sounds. Carbonic acid gas Is quite harmless. It's made from coke, and it is probably the most versatile servant that mankind has. It's like those medicines that the almanacs say are good for everything. It can put a kick In your ice-cream soda, or your lemon phosphate. It's in all fire extinguishers. It's used to harden steel. It's used in making sugar, to remove the lime from the juice of the cane. Ifs a refrigerating agent and also is used in making bicarbonate of soda, the substance one takes for heartburn. And it forms one of the chief curative agents used In the baths at such resorts as Neaheim In Europe and Saratoga In this country. Manufacturers of carbonic gas In this country report that they have doubled their output In the last year because of the increased demand for carbonated beverages, or "soft drinks." At present, in round numbers, carbonic acid gas enters into 375,000,000 gallons of beverages In the United States. Figuring on sixteen drinks from a gallon, you have B,000,000,000 soft drinks as the approximate consumption a year. Sixty sodas apiece.--Chicago Journal. NEVER AGAIN FOR PLUMLEY Victim of Unkind Suspicions Will Carry No More Stuff Home to Oblige the Wife. Mrl Plumley was embarrassed and well might he be. For the suitcase he was carrymg had sprung a leak! And as he walked swiftly through the crowd on the street it seemed that everyone glanced down at the leather bag, and saw that something was wrong. Curses on that prohibition law! Ever since It had been ^ssed people noticed any one who carried a package--especially a suitcase. A policeman eyed him suspiciously and Plumlev hurried faster than ever, almost breaking into a run. He boarded a street car and placed the bag on the floor in f^ont of him, trying to cover it with his feet as, much as possible. It was useless. The stuff continued to trickle out and soon formed a miniature pool. Some of the rednosed male passengers looked envious; straphangers saw it and smiled; even the Ignorant-appearing wop in the next seat looked wise! But all Plumley could do was to turn several colors and wish them all in hades! In something like a year the car arrived at his suburbah home. "Were nxfbable to get any?!' asked his wl#c at once. "Yes," said Plumley, throwing the suitcase to the floor with a bang, "plague take 'em! Those are the last oysters I'll ever carry home!". * •'Fuel for Nothing.* : ease of a motor ffiNfr'^hat trades between Europe and America wlthqpt having to pay for fuel is mentioned by Motor Ship. The Buenos Aires, running between San Francisco and Scandinavia, loads up with 1,500 tons of fuel oil at San Frajtdseiv^sells tons at Stockholm, d returns^to America with some oil lleft In her tanks, having used 600 tons out of the l,5w tons of her supply in her engines. She pays 7,500 pounds for her oil In San Francisco and sells 800 tons of it at Stockholm for 8,000 pounds. The fuel Is carried mostly in the double bottom, and therefore does not detract from the ship's cargo- carrying capacity. , Autoists Blame Potato Bugs. Potato bugs are speed foes in South Jersey, say the motor drivers who have Investigated the reason for the skidding of automobiles on apparently dry roads. They declare that the trouble has been caused by potato bugs migrating from one field to another and crossing the roads in the paths" of their machines. Automobiles are exterminating about as many of the pests as the usual application of poison sprays, as tffe latter have washed off nearly as fast as they have been applied during the rainy weather. One farmer is said to have placed a motor horn in his spraying outfit. As he had previously trained his flock of. geese to gobble up the potato beetles, he claims that the huuking of the horn' is quite effective in frightening the pests away. :,:.;V';";mware Yellow Butterfly#'"/,;-' yellow butterflies which tonft harmless enotygh when flying around the garden are really danger signals to the cabbage grower, for these butterflies lay the eggs from which cabbage worms are hatched. To keep the worms away, begin dusting the cabbage plants when they are very small with air-slaked lime to which a little parts green has been added, or, better still, spray them with arsenate of lead, one pound to a gallon of water. There Is absolutely no' danger in using poison on young cabbages, as the heads grow from the inside, and the outer leaves on which the poison falls will later be removed. Intrusion of .,-iAxaltenMHit ' " ' hut Ofiisrwise • A lstpard--but let m beglnalng. Last year sa Dr. Chalmers Mitchell, Bow- from Cairo to Capetoara by pla«& -AO^Ong other places he landed at a tittle settlement in a British ptotectosate In Central Africa and spent a day and a night there. The Jungle was right at the doors of the white men's houses. So numerous were the wild beasts that the village seemed to be In the midst of a vast menagerie, and so bold sad dangerous that men and women went armed even by day. At night they kept Indoors. While Doctor Mitchell and his hostess, a young English ipatron, wars having a game of tennis two frightened bucks plunged Into the court and s leopard followed them. "My hostess dropped her racket caught her skirts in both hands and bolted for the house," says Doctor Mitchell. "I followed without a second look." The next-door neighbor, however, caught up his gun and got a shot at the leopard before It could spring on either of the bucks. The wounded cat turned tall and leaped back Into the jungle behind the tennis court The bucks, however, could not stop but went careering across the street, crashed through a garden and a pergola and disappeared Into the bush beyond. 'Tve had lots worse things happen to me here," hia hostess told Doctor Mltchel nonchalantly. Then she picked up her tennis racket and prepat-ed to go on with the game.--Youth's Companion. ( Let Fortune Get Aswfc;'4 All that glitters Is not goto, but lack of glitter is not a certain test for worthlessnes8, it was found by gold diggers along a river In Papua, British New Guinea, recently. While searching for gold the men encountered a bluish-gray, flaklsh substance which they cast aside as worthless. Two months ago two pounds of this substance was bought In London by an American firm for approximately $6,000, or eight times the value of the same amount of gold. It was osmirldlum, a member of one of the hardest metals known and used for the tipping of fountain pens and for delicate beamings of fine machinery. It Is worth $200 an ounce. When the prospectors learned the value of the substance they hurried back to the river and learned that tropical rains had washed away most of the precious stuff. By careful work tliey raked together what was left, had It refined and sent to.London. , Intentions Good, Methods Poor. The Pullman porter's Intentions were good, but his methods poor. Two sisters, near the sixty mark, were en route from Kansas to Indiana. The younger, weighing about 80 pounds, was convalescing from a long illness and needed assistance in moving about The porter frequently was called for help. One morning he met the older sister, who weighed near the 1^0 mark, and remarked: "Why, your mother Just walked down the. aisle. She must be much better." I - And wlien the porter was told of the "social error" he had made, he spent the greater part of the remainder of the journey pleading with the older talcer'. sister not to tell of his mis- The Explanation. ^-^4^ Returning home from the p&Vk a man was jubilant because he had won prizes at several of the stands. "I got four boxes of candy, two kewple dolls, seven stickpins and a chicken," he told his wife. "Did you wear your sporty hat?" "'"Yes." "And that suit with the btg^ checks?" "Why, certainly." " "And that loud tlir v i "Yes, but what's the dlfWr^tM*n' "That accounts for the winning of all those prizes. I'll bet a cookie the stand keepers thought you were a capper connected with the outfit1* Uninterrupted Business. <4i dhall continue to direct 08f aiV fairs from the jail," said the convicted grafter. "All right," replied the trusted lieutenant; "maybe in the course of time we can get enough prison reform to remodel jails so that they'll have elevators and telephone exchanges and all the conveniences of regular office buildings." ;;' 'Theory and Praetl#fc, f, - * "Are you a politician or a statesman?" "Both," replied 8enator Sorghum. "What's the good of being a stutesttan if you are not politician enough to stay in the game and put your ideas across?" o ^ Sufficient Reason. * } Drtggs 'I've been teaching, a/gtrl how to play golf all the morning. Griggs--Why do you want to ruin your game? Briggs--You'd know It you saw the girl.--Montreal Star. Nothing In It. v. Father--What's this wild story 1 bear about your bank account being flat? Son--Tut.xtut dadt lfs overdraws. --Cornell Widow. , \ Religiona of the Future. "Don't you think we should let posterity pay our war debts?" "Possibly," replied Miss Cayenne. "It will at least prevent posterity from falling Into any abject fallacy of ancestor worship." Boston Chamber Largest With a membership of 7,8(HV the Boston chamber of commerce has become the largest commercial organisation |n the world. N ; --% . : . :K . Defined. •:' r \ "What* Is the meaning isf tlEfe WOT •fan,' which I see so often In the accounts of your sporting events?" asked the Englishman. "A fan," explained his American cousin, "In a man who swears by the home team when It ta winning and at It when it Is losing." Salt Rising Bread. A cooking class is being organized in Houston to revive the lost art of making "salt rising" light bread. If the good old bread of the daddies and mammies Is to come back all such latter-day contrivances as gas rangea and oil stoves will have to be set aside. The Signal serves notice on the Houstonlans that salt-raising bread can only be cooked In fireplace ovens, and loaves that are not as big as a' lialf-bushel measure or a full else cheese do not count--Honey Qfove Signal. Suez Canal to Be TunniM The great military bflSe at Kantara, from which the British built a military railway through the desert to Palestine, is being dismantled. The line, of course, is permanent. During the war the SOez canal was crossed by a large swing bridge, which la now to be dismantled. Connection between the Egyptian railways and the new Inline to Palestine will be maintained 'by means of a tunnel which will be buflt below the Suez canal. The Utmost, "Fair-minded, isn't he1* "Very. He. even admits the utapfoe'S ledsion against the homo tea in may a right" S./: < i. •€i':. • ft' • : Japan to Honor First Emperor. Japan is preparing) to build a pyramid for the first emperor, Jlmmu Tenno. somewhere in the suburbs of Tokio, and for this purpose a committee of prominent men will collect a stone from every subject of the empire says the Argonaut. It is the intention iu umk« inis the highest structure In the Far East The Order of His GeiitV. The Sign Painter--I getchfc. *TH fix up a nice sign reading, "Vicious Sull! Beware!" In big letters, so he ho runs may read. The Land Owner--And set It up in this corner so he who reads may run, y.±£,-S'-r* Her Trouble. > "Do you hsVe any trouble breaking In your new shoes?" v •Not at all. tay trouble comes in getting my hasbaaf to p*a*lda them." < t 'V " RARE GRATITUDE. ifctteat--I am very gratefti!" to you, doctor, for only charging half * • ' • your usual fee. The operation you performed on me was of a most delicate nature. I am indebted to you both financially and probably for my Doctor--And I, air, am Indebted to you. Most of my patients are rich people with imaginary aliments. Iwaa glad of the chance to practice aome* thing besides deception. y" - • '•' ' Learning Fast-- ' > . y long has he been1»<tMi try?" .- • * \)y "About two years."." J v' .l "Does he give Any ttodieattifti of bo* coming a good American citizen?" "I should say so! He hadn't been ft | In America more than twelve months ^ before he was • ptfwer in ward pol- ; .. •) itlcs." ?./. | Glad of It. r "Aren't the mails dreadfully slow?** "Yes, but that's an advantage iome> ' times." "Why, this morning I received the . Dulmores' card for yesterday's recep* s tlon." "8o did I. It gave me ^ rsallf 4*»,; cent excuse for not going" Complying With the Conditions. The Lawyer--Your aunt's will provided that her dog should die a natural death before you could succeed to Ita inheritance. I trust you can prove the animal's death was natural. Mr. Nexkin--Sure can. I fed the mutt a few- grains of strychnine and death naturally ensued. THEY CAN LIVE CHEAP "George is a regular cave man!" "Oh! How lucky! Especially with renta ao high." V Hopeless. fTfllon't expect •To live to Bee- All things the Why - They ought td-(Mk Must Cultivate Good Manner* . Smiier--Do jrep eoa tfeat Titrk.®***-- there? ^ r* Tyler--Yea. • ' "Well, he has six consequently he can never open his mouth without Interrupting one of them." i V Intellectual Accomplishment; ; ' ; "Women have better equippe® Intellects than men." , "In some respects," replied Miss Cayenne., "Most of the people I have met who knew offhand and with pre- Sj ' cislon how to score the latest couj- \ ; plication In whist are women*" , ' 1 ' " .--V Found Out. "Would!you like to hear a secret In-' volvlng Mrs. Nexdpre in a dreadful scandal?" ^ "Goodness, yes. Tell it to me." "I don't know any such secret. But I must say you have t: very mean disposition." \ Encouraging. ^ • Kathryn--I Intend to marry Billy Bullion in spite of all opposition. Kytte--If Billy sees you're real determined I don't thl^k he'll oj^poee you so very long. ^... Kitchen Ssrvloe. "What caused BlbbleS to quit making 4home bfew'?" "Mrs. Blbbles suggested that ho might dry the dishes while waiting developments." ' , « Wont Be Dleturtpfc gv "Natuse ^works many remarkable cures." / "Yes, but the trouble with nature la that you can't wake her up In the middle of ti- night and get her to come over u» .he house evei^ time the baby has colic." ^ ' > -- Bad Cass. ,v "Half a dosen doctors have given Mabel up I" "liealiy I What la the matter with herT "She Simply woswiil pay her billa." Men--the Mean Things. Mi* Smart--My husband has Just rung «P to say he won't be home to ^ dinner tonight Mrs. Knagg--Aren't men brutes 1 Mine has stuck st hbme every night for over a week. h^raMho It. mi order ft* "Husband 1" ^ "Yes." "Did you ptit lh ton of coal?" "Order? I put in a supplication, vy; 'M" :iv: •i:, iis. Pi - • t t'#e ft. 'Or* "^y