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" ifei" HKB CUOICK. •nr M. c. a, CHEKWXLL. me lovers sweet Carlotta had: >: The one a banker, rich and grand, a,.- - Th« next held court* at bis c • ffiTh" third wu but s farmir lad , ,-.4 ".--"life* «*»ltfay banker #»«d bar long--& ; ,, Butfd her -aith gold and diamonds orient; iy- ICtae learnra Judge was • man of might, With sapient mind he righted wrong. . Tin; firti.,-. !<..! had !>"t bis land. Whereon ho toiled oft wearily j And v<»t an honest heart had he-- An humble heart at he r coiiiuiasid. '. The banker daily pressed his unit; The brave Judge, with his coursers gay, Dtove her through parka »n hia cov§${t4 Xt eve youug Eugene proffered fruit. The maid anpeared by none impress^-- Sttll smiled her sweet, angelic Miiilfc And seemed unconsciona all the wlfiti W:'. Kone knew the secret of her breast. At length the farmer lad fell ill; He ne'er had breathed hie pa»*:on ilf (f Smothered and hid he tried to keep The flaiue that burned unerasing *tia. " 111 irnlo death!" Carlotta's heart Was stirred as ne'er twas moved before; Her light feet strayed to Eugene1* doac ," Great Father, let him not depart!" v She clasped his hand, she kissed his brow; He turned his ^hite !»« from the wall, ** The humble heart 8 the best of all! My darling! wilt thou love me now?" STORY OF A. WILL. *k".i "Thrown off his horse and killed!" I read, in the city weekly paper just issued, as I sat in my law office one morning in Wellingtou, the county seat of a certain Franklin county. It was on Thursday morning, in Sep­ tember ; and the paragraph went on to say that on Wednesday morning, Stephen Edwards, a wealthy old fanner, who had lived near a place called the Cross Roads, three or four miles from Welling­ ton, was found dead on the road, within half a mile of his house, and that appear­ ances indicated that he was thrown from his horse and killed on Tuesday night on his way home from the latter place. "Why, I declare!" I said to myself, "It was only the day before yesterday tlmt I wrote his will, and it was signed and witnessed here in my office. How singular! Killed that very night ?" Mr. Edwards was a somewhat singular man. I knew that he changed his mind often, for I had drawn several wills for him. lii tills last one, which I now very emphatically declared should be the last, he had bequeathed the bulk of his •wealth to a dissipated nephew, lloss Ed­ wards, reserving barely enough for his only daughter to make the will valid. He did not tell me why and it was no part of my business to ask him, although, knowing the family well, I had wondered at it. I had scarcely finished reading tbe paragraph relating to the accident, when Mr. Brash, the constable, stepped in. He was not a very learned man, was very excitable, and entertained a keen sense of the solemnity of his duties as an -rffBoejiv- ,. • -7-"'" "Have you heard about Edward??" he asked. "I have just read of it,"I replied. " It is a sad thing." ^ " Well, there is a suspicion of some­ thing wrong about it." " Ah! How so ?" I asked. "You drew his will, didn't you?" " In favor of Ross ?" "Yes." , " I did. What's wrong about it?" " Why, his daughter Lucy has come into town this morning, and got a war­ rant out to arrest her cousin Ross, on suspicion of murder. She says he knew that the will was to be made m his favor that day, and as the old man had changed his mind so often, and might do it again, she believes that he waylaid and mur­ dered him, so as to make sure of the property. You know Ross is called a hard case. It's suspicious?' "It looks bad," I replied. " It does so. Well, I have the warrant for his arrest, and I am going to ride out to Cross-Roads and get him. Will you go along? You are a lawyer, and I would like you to go along. You might notice things that 1 wouldn't." " Yes, I'll go with you," I said. " Wait just a minute." I had a horse, which I soon saddled and bridled," and in a few minutes Mr. Brush and I were galloping away over the country toward the Cross-Roads, a place that aspired to be a village on ac- -count of its having a postoffiue, grocery • store, and three or four dwelling houses. " By the way," said the Constable, aa tie rode along, "did Edwards leave his "will in your care ?" " No; he took it with him. Wits it found in his pocket ?" " I didn't ask the girl, but we'll know when we get there. He won't be buried until an investigation is made. The Coroner is coming out to-day." * We learned ou the way that Ross Ed­ wards made his quarters at the Cross- Roads tavern, and when we arrived in front of the little two-story building, we saw him sitting on the porch reading the country newspaper. He did not seem to notice us dismounting, and we had secured our In-rses at the hitcliing-post and stepped upon the piazza before lie was aware of our presence. " Ross Edwards," said Mr. Brush, in * very impressive tone, as he laid his hand on the startled man's shoulder, " I ;arrcst you for the murder of your uncle, Stephen Edwards, whom you waylaid on Tuesday night, and knocked from hi« horse with a club, to secure the immedi­ ate benefit of his will." Grave as the bceasion was, I could scarcely keep from smiling at this pomp­ ous speech, which I think Mr. Brush had mentally prepared and committed to memory on the way. It was the first time that he had ever been called upon to arrest a man on a charge of murder, and ho evidently intended to make the most of it. Ross Edwards looked up into the Constable's face, then at me with ap­ parent surprise; after which he turned ifrery pale, and seemed trying to speak, though unable to utter a word. " I'm sorry," said Mr. Brash, in A less official tone, "and I hope the charge may p" ovc false, but I must do my duty. Your cousin Lucy has made the com­ plaint, and got the warrant out. Here it is." And he began to read--'"Com­ monwealth of---" "Never mind reading it," interrupted Ross Edwards, recovering his self-pos session, aud speaking very calmly. «' ] know what a warrant is, and I kn.>w you are the Constabl -. I will go with you at once; but rest assured that there is some mistake about this." He arose and put on his hat as he apoke. "I hope it will turn out so," said Mr. Brush. " Ross," said I--for I had often ad­ dressed him by his first name---" do you happen to know that your uncle made a •ill in your favor ?" • T~ ' *1' ' - " No," he replied, ooo%« + " ce Ygu don't«" ' * " No, I don't know that he did so. He told me a few days ago that he would, fie had a quarrel with Lticy; who has a violent temper, and he said that I should be his heir. He told me that' she did not treat him with either affection or re- pect, and was determined that she should not become wealthy at his death --that she did not deserve it. That's all I know about it." " Then you don't know that he made a will?" < " No, I never saw him alive after that --Tuesday morning, I think." When the Coroner arrived wo proceed­ ed to Edwards' house where the usual inquest was held. The country pliysidan testified that death had resulted from a fracture of the skull with some blunt instrument. A neighbor--one of two men who found the bouy-- testified that he found nf ar by a round stoue, of three potinds weight, stained with blood. I testified concerning the will. Ross Edwards again admitted that his micle had told him he would make such a will; that he knew he often changed his mind; yet denied that he had any knowledge of the murder. "Where were you during the early part of Tuesday night V' asked the Coro­ ner, eying him sharply. "Let me see, I took a walk across the fields to the river and had a swim. I got back by 9, I think." "Did you meet any one on your way to the river or coming back." " Not a soid." The verdict of the Coroner's jury was unfavorable to Ross Edwards, and he was taken to Wellington, briefly exam­ ined by a magistrate, and committed to jail. I remained behind to see if any new facts could be learned, and it is singular that the Constable and Coroner, with their prisoner, had been gone half an hour before I thought of the will. Then I sought the two countrymen who had discovered the body of Mr. Edwards, and asked: "Were there any indications that he had been robbed i" "Yes," they both replied. "The pockets were turned wrong side out." " What! Was the inside pocket of his coat turned wrong side out?" " Yes, and a little memorandum book lay on the ground, nearly covered with dust." "Did you see anything that looked like a will-- a good-sized paper ?" " No, nothing but the memorandum- book. It had a little money inside. We handed it over to Lucy, just as we found :£ > Here was a new and singular feature of the case. Where was the will ? Had Ross Edwards been so stupid as to take it with him after committing murder, to make sure of it ? If so, it could prob­ ably be found in the room he occupied in the tavern, or even on his person, and that would be a piece of evidence that would establish his guilt beyond a doubt. "Ah, how short-sighted men are when they commit crime," I mused. " Even the shrewdest of criminals are sure to leave some clue." I hastened back to Wellington, and found Mr. Brush. " Did yoji search him ?" I asked. " Yes, he replied, " I took all his effects--knife, pipe, tobacco and a pock­ et-book with fifteen dollars and twenty cents in it.$' "Nothing in thoffaape a will ?" "No." "Had he any opportunity to Chrow anything away after his arrest ?" " No, I'm certain of that. I watched him like a cat." " Then get out a search-warrant and we will go1 to the Cross-Roads and take a look at his room in the tavern." ! This was done at once, and we went to the Cross-Roads that afternoon, when we made a careful examination of Ross Ed­ wards' room, and everything in it. No will was found, nor did any of his clothes show marks of blood. " He must have more cunning than I gave him credit for," I remarked to Mr. Brush, as we mounted our horses to ride back to Wellington. " Where can that will be ?" Within a month the County Court was in session, and Ross E Iwards was tried for murder. Yes, and to the astonish­ ment and indignation of everybody, he was acquitted. Not because the jury be­ lieved him innocent, but because the evidence against him was not conclu­ sive. " He is the luckiest murderer I ever heard of," I said to several brother attor­ neys, and they all with me. Not long after Ross Edwards was set at liberty, the daughter of the murdered man called on me and said she desired to contest the will, and would placo the cuse in my hands. She stated that her father was probably not in his right mind when he made his will; that he of­ ten had peevish spells ; that he frequent­ ly flew into a passion about nothing; and that she had done nothing whatever to offend him on the morning that he started for Wellington with the avowed intention of making a will that would disinherit her. Lucy was a rather handsome young lady, not over 22, with black eyes and a clear complexion. Her manner was can­ did and earnest, and I was soon con­ vinced that if her father had not been deranged she at least believed him to be so, and I readily agreed to take the case. We were in consultation half an hour in reference to what witnesses might be summoned to testify to tho old man's eccentricities of character, and she had risen to go, when I said:. "Why, how forgetful I have been! Unless the will is produced, there is no use contesting it." "Why, I have it!" she replied. To my astonishment, she deliberately drew from her pocket and handed me a legal paper, which I immediately recog­ nized as the missing wi'L " Where did you get this ?" I asked, almost with vehemence. A puzzled look came over her faoe<--a flush--then she turned deathly pale. " Where did you get this/" I again demanded, as a fearful thought across my brain. I She tottered a few steps, sank trem- the bling into a chair, and covering hfer livid 1 ice with her hands, ejaculated: " Merciful heaven! What have I done ?" "What have you 'done?" I echoed, with some severity. "I'll tell you, girl. You have murdered your father!" • " No, no, I haven't!" she said, fran­ tically, while she clasped her hands and looked up imploringly into my face. "Oh^I didn't kill him! Spare me! Save me!" ; Spare ydu! Save you! Why ?" She dropped her face UpCu her h&w.-lg, and was silent. "Answer me, girl!" I said, sternly. " Did your cousin Boss kill your father ? Speath the truth." " No," she replied, beginning to cry. "Then you did!" "No, no, no!" she wailed piteohsly. "At least you know who did ?" ' " No one aid; he was thrown from his horse." " How do you know?" .. i"?: r "I saw it." " Yon saw him thrown and killed?" ^ , "Yes." What mystery was here girl crazy ? No, that could not be, for why was she so frightened ? and, above all, how came die in possession of the will? .. " •; " Why did you try to have Ross hanged for murder Vp I asked. " Because I hated him." "How camevyou to see you father thrown from his horse?" Here she burst into a perfect convul­ sion of sobs and tears, and after a few seconds regained control of her voice so as to eay: "Oh, I'll tell you all! I might as well now. But they won't hnnp me ft>r that, will they ?" ' " For what ?" I asked, unable to sur­ mise what was coming. ^ " I know I'm as bad as if I'd commit­ ted a murder," she replied, " but I did not kill him with my own hands. I knew that he had gone to town to make a will that would disinherit me, and it made me hate him and Ross both. He rode a fiery horse, and I made up my mind to frighten it, hoping, I confess, that it woidd throw him off, and I didn't care if it killed him. So I went out on the road in the evening to wait for him. I knew he generally got home about 9 o'clock, when he went to town, and I knew what time to go. I took a white sheet with me, and when I heard him coming I wrapped it around me, and as he rode near I ran suddenly across the road, directly in front of the horse. The animal was frightened as I had expected, and instantly whirled and ran away, while my father was thrown violently to the ground, his head striking the loose round stone that was found near by. He did not move afterward, and I took the will from his pocket and hurried home. I was foolish enough to think I ought > - -~ :- d - > -tv JVAOCSt/J. V At) uuu J.U AACM3 UiJ crime. It looks like a judgment." Justice to the innocent compelled me to have Lucy Edwards taken into custo­ dy so soon as I had heard her astound­ ing story. She repeated the confession she had made to me, and the people were a sec­ ond time amazed. Ross' neighbors, who had refused to recognize him since his release from prison, and who had even talked of or­ dering him to leave the community, now Lwkudd to take iiim by the liouu and say that they never believed him guilty, and had constantly predicted thm*tlm6 would bring his vindication. Ross was soon placed in possession of his fortune, but he was so generous as to make every effort to obtain the re­ lease of his unnatural cousin, saying he was determined to provide so liberally for her that she shoidd not miss tho es­ tate she had so justly forfeited. The singular girl, however, who seemed a strange mixture of cunning and stupidity, once more astonished everybody by escaping from jail one night, after which she set fire to the old homestead--but it was happily extin­ guished in good time--then disappeared from the neighborhood, and was never heard from again. tilme Water for Burns. A correspondent writes that the readi­ est and most useful remedy for scalds and bums is an embrocation of lime water and linseed oil. These simple agents combined form a thick, cream­ like substance, which effectually excludes the air from the injured parts and allays the irflammation almost instantly. He mentions a case where a child fell back­ ward into a bath-tub of boiling water, and was nearly flayed from her neck to below her hips. Her agonies wore inde­ scribable; but her clothing being gently removed, and the lime and oil prepara­ tion thickly spread over the injured sur­ face, she was sound asleep in five min­ utes. Subsequently, the parts were carefully washed with warm milk and water three times a day, the oil dressing renewed, and the little patient rapidly recovered. Though all the scalded skin came off, she did not have a scar. This remedy leaves no hard coat to dry on the sores, but softens the parts, and aids nature to repair the injury in the readi­ est and most expeditious manner. This mixture may be procured in the drug stores; but if not thus accessible, slack a lump of quick lime in water, and as soon iw the water is clear, mix it with the oil and shake it well. If the case is urgent, use boiling water over the lime, and it will become clear in five minutes. The preparation may be kept ready bottled in the house, and it will be as good six months old as when first made:-- can Farm Journal Life on the Farm and |n the City. Thousands Of young men, discon­ tented with the farm work of their fath­ ers, have an ideal city life in their minds, where the young man, gaily trig­ ged out with fashionably cut clothes and jewelry, makes a stunning appearance and seems to be free from ordinary hu­ man cares. A recent letter from Chica­ go gives a picture of clerical life which uas a valuable hint in it to those who long for such employment, to enable them to escape the more laborious work of the farm. ! A short extract is given to show how thoroughly the individuality and the manhood must be crushed out to give place to the mechanical obsequi­ ousness of the clerk: " It is estimated there are 20,000 in Chicago. The salaries of these animated automatons range from $6 to $15, seldom as high as $18 per week; and how under heaven they make the legendary ' two ends * meet is one of the mysteries. The salaries of those who gain their livelihood by their ' shape ' rather than by brains and brawn, have been cut down since the fire fully 100 per cent. There has been no reduction in living expenses conse­ quent upon high rents, which have been very generally maintained. These clerks are compelled to lose their individuality completely, and have become, in conse­ quence of their virtual slavery, veritable puppets. Supposing there was not the 1 constant terror of loss of wtuation--and there is, for an advertisement in the Tribune for any manner of a clerk will bring from 500 to 1,000 applicants--each able to bring 1 the very best references,' and we may say the clerk receives the munificent pittance of $12 per week, which is certainly the average Balary. To get board at as low a price as $6 per week, and this will only procure the vilest of hash, he must live from two to four miles from his place of business. As he must be behind his gorgeous counter --money is put in furnishings, not salaries, in Chicago-- at 7:30 o'clock promptly, it necessitates the expenditure of 60 cents a week for car fare. His lunch is not often includ­ ed in this dyspepsia-producing board- ing-house regime, and $1.50 at least must be expended during the week for restaurant dinners. His washing will cost $1 more, for his linen must be spotr less, and his absolutely necessary inci­ dental expenses will swell this total to $10, leaving $2 per week with which to array himself in costly apparal, for he must be faultlessly dressed. When it is tue that more clerks receive $10 than .$12 per week, and the fact that many have families to support is consid­ ered, a picture of exquisite misery is fur­ nished that should prompt some artist to achieve renown by portraying these miseries and making the clerk their em-j bodied type. ' 'But these are not all his miseries. The ' floor-walker' or foreman has an eagle eye for delinquents, and the slightest dereliction is visited witii a stinging rep­ rimand, a hissed curse, or thai consum­ mation of all horrors, dismissal; and, so fearful of this do these clerks become, and so groveling are they obliged to be in consequence, that I have stood by in disgust and seen them chew ^prints in proof of their * fast color' at the sugges­ tion of ladies. (?) Manliness, sentiment, consideration, are all evolved. Labor is value*I in ttie^e huge establishments at just what it will bring, and five hundred employes are morally so much machinery. The caprices of women with time on their hands to kill; the petulance of women who carry their shrewishness in­ to their inquiries for tape and tarletan; the whimsicalities of grandmothers and the virulence of spinsters; the torment of women who want forty dozen samples ' to send to a sick cousin in the country,' but who are really making patch-work and quilts; the thoughtlessness of girls who end a raid on a department with the remark, ' Guess ina'll liave to come;' snickering women, terrible women; handsome women, ugly women; holy women, thieving women; and all the countless contemptible little exhibitions of snobbishness on the part of all women who mistake them for evidences of womanhood and caste--all have to be overcome and smoothed away bv the despairing clerk, or judgment day comes." fighting for Their Lives. A letter from Slohold, Pa., thus de­ scribes what befell three young women who went a-berrying: They were obliged to cross the pond to reach the woods. Before entering the boat they saw some­ thing in the distance swimming in the water. Tuiiikmg ii, was a dog, paid no further attention to it, but started on their way across the pond, which is about two miles wide. After rowing for several hundred yards, the girl who WHS piloting the boat saw that what they first thought to be a dog swimming m the water was a buck, which was coming di­ rectly toward them. Having a clumsy pair of oars, it was some time before the boat could be turned, and then the deer had reached to within a few yards of them. The girls became greatly terri­ fied, for the deer was fast gaining on them, and from the way it snorted and plunged, thev were satisfied it meant mischief. While the one rowed with all her might the other two paddled, thus somewhat increasing their speed; but the deer was slowly gaining on them, and knowing they coidd not reach the shore before being overtaken, they ceased rowing to prepare for the inevi­ table battle. When ther deer, snorting and plunging, had reached to within a few feet of the boat, it stopped for a moment. Then it made a sudden plunge, and as its head struck the side of the boat, the brave girls brought down their raised paddles upon it with such force as to drive it underwater. The girls again raised their only weapons, add as the head rose to the surface they again brought their paddles to bear upon it with the same reeult. When the deer again raised from the water it seemed to realize that this was to be the death struggle, and its eyes gleamed like balls of fire. It made a lunge, and threw its forefeet over the side of the boat near the oar locks. This nearly capsized the clumsy craft, and threw Maggie Jordan, the oldest of the three, into the water; but as she fell she caught the edge of the boat, and was hauled in by one of her companions. Then the heroine at the oars, as she felt the animal's breath in her face, raised a paddle and struck for her life, and as tlie blow fell across the deer's head the blood started from its nostrils, and it sank back helpless and seemingly dead, but really only stunned. The girls then started for the shore, leaving the deer struggling- beiween life and death in the water. ? Reaching the shore, one of the girls ran to a small log cabin, an eighth of a mile distant, in which lived a family by the name of Berger, and told what had occurred. Mr. Berger seized his rifle and went to the pond, where he found the wounded deer yet struggling in the water a few rods from the shore. He rowed out to it, and seizing it by the antlers, cut its throat, and then towed its body to the shore. The deer was the largest ever killed in the neighborhood, weighing 227 pounds. Early Musical tienius. Rubcnstein gave his first piano concert at Moscow when ho was nine years old ; Liszt appeared as a pianist when nine before a company of noblemen, who sub­ sequently paid the expense of his educa­ tion ; Gounod took the grand prize for musical composition awarded by the French Institute when twenty-one ; Wag­ ner composed four operas when twenty, and his Rienai was brought out in Paris when he was twenty-four ; Verdi became organist in the old Church of Busseto when seventeen, and his first opera was put on the stage at La Scala, Milan, when he was twenty-five ; Offenbach be­ came leader of the band at the Theater Prancais when twenty-six, and composed his first opera at that age; and Theodore Thomas began playing au the violin in i public when only six^ A Queer fathering. At Birmingham, Eng., a tea party was recently given to some invited guests wlio were till known, nay, self-confessed drunkards. At the time and place ap­ pointed 300 persons assembled. With the exception of two women, who came in cabs, and are said to have given proof that they had not been invited by mis­ take, the drunkards behaved in a most respectable manner, tho very babies-- admitted, we conclude, by favor of drunken mothers--joining, after their manner, in the temperance songs of the hosts of this strange party. The inebri­ ate guests even looked tolerably well, for though some were ragged, a good many appeared to have washed their faces and combed their hair. Their neat­ ness was, however,, nothing to their tem­ per, which seems to liave been perfect, for they sat drinking their tea and eat­ ing bread and butter while addressed by one of their entertainers on the subject of their degraded condition. " Outcast, besotted, terribly depraved, and almost hopeless," were the adjectives applied to their fallen, but for the time being, com­ fortable selves,, as they drank the harm­ less Congou for a change; and not a few, having turned down their cups, signed the pledge, thus giving the stamp of success to (Mae of the queerest social gatherings of the day. Rat's Sagacity. Whilst Mr. Joseph Terrell was sitting in his back porch, about dusk, the other evening, he noticed two rates coming from under some wood close by. No-* ticing something peculiar about them, he paid close attention, and discovered that they had a straw in their mouths, one rat at each end. The rats went down to a little pond in the yard, laid the straw down,, took a drink of water, picked up the straw, and marched back in the same -way they went down. Just before reaching the wood Mr. Terrell killed both ratd, and upon examination found the largest and oldest rat had been totally blind. Mr. Terrell sayfe the old , rat was veiy fat, aud is satisfied that the other rata have been feeding him on young chiokens and turkeys, as well as watering bin:. Mr. Terrell vouches for the truth of the above.--liallard (Ky. \ Netv%% American Swindlers Abroad. Says the Paris correspondent of the London Telegraph: There is excite­ ment among the jewelers of Paris over a robbery, of which two Americans are heroes. I am sorry to notice that our trans-Atlantic brethren are rapidly earn­ ing a discreditable fame in tbe depart­ ment of high-class swindling. Some days since two past masters of this busi­ ness called upon a wealthy tradesman of the Paris Royal and invited him to send good chains for approval to the Hotel Yiollet. Here, as in other cases of fraud by Americans, there was evidence of thought, of cautious boldness and of cunning to which we are little used in the proceedings of theii European kindred. - The jeweler went, but no business was done on the first occasion. He found the gentlemen comfortably in­ stalled and in no hurry for negotiation. They passed as representatives of Messrs. J. D. Conover & Co., of Philadelphia, and no suspicion could be aroused by their manner. The next day the jeweler brought seventy-two gold chains, all of which were approved and purchased. The Americans sorted them with appar­ ent intelligence, and arranged them by groups in a tin box. f The vender looked on, and when all was finished he put the box beside him and wrote out his bill. The stranger^ moved about and talked, but without any suspicious action. The account complete in duplicate, they asked to have the box tied up and sealed. This also was <|one leisurely, the bill discussed and discount settled. It came to nearly £400. Then the Americans gave back the parcel of chains, request­ ing the jeweler to take it at a certain date to Messrs. Munroe, bankers, Rue Scribe, when his bill would be dis­ charged. Thereupon he left. It was mere chance that led Mm, some hours after, to call upon Messrs. Munroe, where he learned that no such persons as those described were known to the bankers. Filled with sudden alarm, be reopened the tin box, and found in it rolls ol lead. On going to the Hotel YioUet the Ameri­ cans had vanished, leaving their bag­ gage, which contained many more boxes of the sort, wax, ribbons, and other paraphernalia, the use of which liad just been demonstrated. ' THE EDITOR'S TABLB. No tale ever told, <I»F^And no l>ook, bought Mr MMI Whether history or fable, ' tif - > . ;®8n match or compare •With the contents BO jjflNfc "• • the mystified air . ,»v&s* Of aa editor's table. * 1 - • ; HHiblime J . Wlukt mountains of rhyme, Shading billow on billow ^ other men's woes ' ita»«wUuieu in prose, .; 'T*Written. fiVery Q2£ VvtQWSe • AvvUil. H VHrlf <1TI v m | ^ | '* * '.Neath the droop of the w y safest' Dull eaftay and Terse, And, what is far wo Love's veriest dribi In stacks and in pilpi Words strctchinjf for m On Cupid's sad wileB-- for loven wiH seribUj, ii Oil, editor sad V Oh, editor mad ! - mma In Whet -.rith reading and run ^ ith writing aiui uunning, With Reeking and shunning, So need# the world's pity. Pith and Point. FOB flies--Ceiling whacks. THE place for infants--Baby-loa. "DAYS of absence"--Vacation days. SPIRITS over proof--Printers' devils. PEBC will pay off her debt with guatKT --scent for cent. How TO let oat e tight dress easily^ Charge nothing for the hire of it. To MANY, the path of life is all tnnnele. This is what makes it such a bore. IT may seem hard to some, and yet K'S 'neezy thing to have the hay fever. A PATTPEB'S son ought to make a good balloonist, for he is an heir 'o naught. DON'T fail to read the advertisement headed " Agents! Good News! " in an­ other column of this paper. JOSHUA was the first man to stop a newspaper. He stopped the daily sun. It was because the war news didn't suit him. "WHJT should we celebrate Washing­ ton's birthday more than mine?" asked a teacher. *' Because he neyer told a lie," shouted a little boy. CHILD--" I couldn't live if I should have the fever." Mother--" Why so ?" Child--"Because I'm so little there wouldn't be room for the fever to turn." THE London Lancet says that no per­ son should sit for more than half an hour. S'posin' a fellow is sitting on the sofa with his girl, is he going to be particular to a minute ? THE man that hails you Tom or Jack, And proves by thumping on your back , How he esteems your merit, It such a friend that one hadneed Bo very much his frieud indeed To pardon or to bear it. WHEN a Missouri engineer ditched his train he faintiy asked : " Did it kill any one who parted -*'s hair in middle? ' They answered that three such were lying dead. "Then I die happy!" he sighed, and was soon no more.--Detroit Free Press. A CONSCIENTIOUS English mother has withdrawn her son from school because he had been required to learn a pas­ sage from " John Gilpin." She was a Good Templar," and objected to his learning anything about a wmn who " loved liquor." SAYS a Frenchman who has lived in America for some years : " When they build a railroad the first thing they do is to break ground. This is done with great ceremony^ Then they break the stockholders. This is done without ceremony." IT was an old bachieior who declared that the conventional representation of a cherub was his idea of a model infant. " No nasty little lungs to scream with, no dirty little hands to meddle with, no horrid little legs to run about on--just a dear little pair of fluffy wings and a head." IF you haven't anything on your mind, and your ears are open to catch sounds of morning life, you will see his wife follow him down to the gate and hear her call after him : Don't forget to bring up half a bushel of peaches t And can't, you get the plums, too? And there's the sugar--get ten pounds. Oh, yes ? I want a gallon of vinegar, and some brandy. You may bring up two melons, and the cloves, cinnamon and nutmeg. Hold on, Henry! Don't for­ get the half-bushel of pears. I must have 'em to-day. And, while you are at the market, why not bring up the Si­ berian crab-apples ?" He gets half a block away, and she raises her voice and calls : " Oh, Henry ! ̂ don't forget to bring up three doeen quart cans as you come!"--Detroit Free Pres*. ^ What is tke Smn. ^Prof. Rudolph, in a lengthy paper on the sun says : A molton oar white hot mass, 856,000 miles in diameter, equal­ ing in bulk 1,260,00© worlds like our own, having a surrounding ocean of gas on fire, 50,000 miles deep, tongues of flame darting upward more than 50,000 miles, volcanic force that hurl into the solar atmosphere luminous matter to the height of 160 miles ; drawing to itself all tho worlds belonging to our family of planets, and holding them all in their proper places ; attracting witli^ such superior force the millions of solid and stray masses that are wandering in the fathomless abyss that they rush hopeless­ ly toward him, and. fall into his liery em­ brace. And thus he continues his sub­ lime and restless march through his mighty orbit, having a .period of more than 18,000,000 years. THOUSANDS of people in Arkansas, says the Helena (Ark.) World, will be out of debt this fall, who haven't been in a similar condition of freedom for many years. AT Duluth city lots once selling at $800 can new be had at $50 cash and the promise of $25 more sometime or other. ^ Decline of Immigration. The montldy arrivals of immigrants at New York for the last four years from Jan. 1 exhibit some interesting figures. The following is the statement: MONTHLY ABBXVALS FOB 1872. 1873. 4.663 5,869 13,392 20,{HE) 56,054 46,307 January... February.. March April May June July 26,069 August 22,226 September .. 25^162 October 29\142 November... 2U|665 December... 13,768 7,474 4,980 10,695 41,925 45,165 45,487 24,396 18,754 22.381 20,591 17.881 7,635 FOUR YBABS. 1874. 1875. 3,995 2,749 5,032 12,502 38,895 21,994 16.366 11,868 11,252 10.673 7.877 5,034 1,643 2,461 5,1211 10,536 14,470 13,683 9.098 7,640 gFotals 296,674 267,354 137,357 64,054 From the foregoing statement it will be seen that immigration has this year fallen one-third below that of the corresponding period <cef last year. This is caused by the bad accounts of the times se&t home to laboring classes by their friends already in our midst. The Irish and Germans have been deterred to a great extent from coming here. Italian immigration is at a stand-still. On the other hand, there is a fair influx of Ru&ians of the substantial class. One party of these alone exchanged roubles at Castle Garden the other day for $100,- 000. As prices stand in the West this sum will purchase a great deal of land. " I TELL you, Brown," said Smith, " you are going straight to the bad. You, are drinking too much whisky ; you ought to know it." VI do, I do,'* paid Brown earnes'ly, "I know I do. But the hard-pan truth is, I can't-- afford brandy." Friends, will youstahd idly by while there is such a cause for drunkenness stalkiDg abroad in the land? Bear the brandy market, and eave y6urt felkra men!--Inier-Occan.