McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 27 Dec 1876, p. 6

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MAK'S OLD BT TSOMAS DTJHN EXOUSB 3#$* *M1 * Kdfc. . !-'sl^ **:*&*• :i%h • ' •••. 'j•„••:• ':. :••• :.,:• CHRISTMAS. let «M wind whistle--who oMMt let ft iikom. t?r;-.'--••"•'0 ̂*,nd thither the flake* of the now. • 64-® wretches without, ae «hey shivwrtna pass, L^fr -1?T-- wtth envy and hatred at me through the *. tsmMfeVrma the storm, with *11 meneonMd* of dainties, a hickory fire. Sri* t* tarr round me; ill cheerful andbrigM: a*4t pay sixtieth Christmas Is with me to-nlgML < ijrbeat ttkft chair around, William; the cloth • *>• assay. -!n |Sh** «*« c-urfatst, and then light the toper--bat, <fcj «h« ry In reach; put cigars there at haw aone of them save this pearl," re-1 perhaps scarcely discriminatingly, for he plied the olerk; "and oh! my master, I insisted on giving the shabbiest and would give it to the most beautiful, the most poorly-olad of the passers by his chastest girl in Venice, thr daughter." Ihand-bills. "If," fhougnt John, "I " Takethem both," cried the merchant. {only had the faith of the Buddhists who "ASK! I have seen," added .loha Austin, distribute pictures of PRANCING' k«sesto take i or iso of my favorite brand. row raw po. should I need von, the bell-rope will _ \ .^Qbedfaec tmmtooiia the slave of the ring. ; W« fcBTiu «Vm; but not lonely; unseen by this light, "X%Mse are gueats (mm ihs past who are with me to- •fgfat. ' 3Knst te Albert, my brother, the golden-haired one, 71m pei of his mother, tne youngpgt-bora son. -- oieo •?•; Cue ocuan--the- *?1hc, awcl'ln* nave, k«os« of hit choice, at the last was hie gray®. • 'Mm MBi«a 16 he went, with a frank, earnest gase, Aw<f b« warms his wet frame In the bright, cheerful bUtxe. .0 . Ihwl nw twenty yea«, but his eyes are as bright-- ' X# matt*?--you're welcome, dear toother, to-night. , There is Milton on whom I could ever depend - V .ffaat less than a brother, and more than a friend-- S'n &bmt Milton, who died notatwelvemonth sgo, tPrvwi his home is the churchyard wades hen through the snow. , He>comes t<i upend Christmas, as often before; But 1MS briskly toan -wont seems to enter the door. ' WbM nukes him so pulseless and pallid and frhitej Oteer up; well be jolly together to-night. with an astounding amount of convic­ tion, as he finished his crnst, " at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, on free days, when it is open, and when I go there to keep warm, the very pieoe of old majolica that shipping-clerk had made to present to his mistress as a dedicatory offering expressive of his love. Yes, the absolute plate in which he put the hiff pearl." The man's breakfast was over, and buttoning on his threadbare overcoat he hurried down the dirty stairs of his tene­ ment-house, stopping just a moment to > girl who loitered on the TV* Afei Amy, my darting! ten years since we laid ' Spar hody to rest its the cypress's shade, JL ((:i And now yon return to the husband who pressed --TPfcRt mxA >n»(Tht in anguish your form to hi* breast. Cone tmck on a vieit? No ! come to remaifi, Vor I srwear nothing ever shall part us again. . ' Thirty jnacs since your eyes cheered my life with tfceur light; • Ant ywt you look younger than ever to-night. u 2« tl SyMI, my daughter, have yon too returned tbe father whose heart for you erermore jsaraedt Mtewlffo whom you chose at the risk of my curse Sent jwu back here to open the strings of my purwT Wlgu you died through neglect of the husband who wwrwl IMertab and lore--died, despairing and proud. Onsthe gciwe give yon holiday T Would Out it Hrigtit, Mmi ym, v-em but living to alt here to-night. Ml wil-dessired guests for the revel are near-- Wif#3 daughter, friend, brother--all risen and here. "¥«t It Mass to my Judgment the sherry lacks taste, Xh« dgar has no flavor--it all fanrne to w#ste; • tHjp<hpeg empires, and the gas-light sinks tow; i Hbtw falls to embers--what troubles me sot 4Ktoere, no one missing--the list is not right; «3*negatmt, aad.the greatest, is i»«irii«g to-night. Ke enters at last. *Tis a stranger to me, Sta|de»f«d. wifh d!s* shadows, so gaunt--who is he? Ank deep are his "yes, there is ice in his breath-- Agaeet most unwelcome! I know him--tis Death. STlHsefccMEef Not s®! • Most desired of them all. Shi skeleton foot ties a mnpical fall; WOm Aadows Ifire cbmerd to a halo of lignt-- 0#*t friend and deliverer, welcome to-night. ^OHV ATO1WS COBI9TMA8*. •'(i M% -j, has • i f . • J. t Tbs ^irertisement r^d as follows : w«.«ria^--A ttliipi/iug cleat, to receive tmigM, and load vewelB; reference* required. Annfr batween 10 and 12 at . The man who cut this from a new* puer on the morning of fee 24th of •member was an idiot at the age of 50 tohav© said: "There are no Brothers t, , <5heerybles nowadays. The very last of * . ttwee good souls died when I was a boy. Am to the Cheery We fortune, what was left of it--'very little, in fact, for the twotfeers were not thrifty--went to dis- „Hf<5 -.jg relaMvee wno are reported to me to I ; been of a Bingulsily miserly and uaahgritable disposition. Wanted a vr 8fatpptng clerk." Here John Austin put tl»#crap of paper into a lank wallet, •nd. tried quite deaidedly to prevent it ffm blooming and flowering there. ot ;i4iI fl«»ow or other every advertisement -9^, li • ifiR had put in his pocket--and they had t»ee« innumerable -- regnlariy passed tteiwgh some horticultural forcing prr>- lic, ,N , «WW before they shriveled up and went 4,,;, 2nte impalpable fragments. "Like air plufci,' the man added, " drawing their iMKirirfiBQent from nothing in particular, • mad blossoming quite in vacuo." ! ^Rwagli «Tohn had a decided tendency toward gushing, even allowing that it -. """e simply internal, it nevertheless was to be deprecated. A good deal of mis- < , </ trouble had hardened the man imtm aUy' Like water 111 4116 lock, his 1 jfaasncB trickled feebly inside of him, in > * decidedly useless kind of way, but I vv •>'SS5 forttL^atsly so unobtrusive as Bammfy to be ever visible. Very possi- »4'"" k&p fcaS ««m« utilitarian hydraulic mor- : v aSMs \jw.zz. into John Austin, and Vid >9 la&tfea pipes and mainc, with the most j^lmsiAble desire of benefiting a pivrched »nd 'thirsty public, it would all have re- , anlled in a most miserable failure. wi shipping clerk!" the "man said as im took from off the shelf a fragment of tweftd. " A windy berth on the wharves ! -and what under the heavens do I know aboKfc it l What I do know, is that my . Gnuft bare is old, hard, and stale, and not iti large quantity, and that I have 25 cents left, or three 8-cent of bread, just sufficient to carry me over until Monday next; three whole days, when, if I do not earn a •dollar, this room of mine will have to be wealed. If snow would only fall, I pick up some trifle that way by *Anweling it off the sidewalks. In fact, I aucy be at this-moment just skirmish- Kim' with that terrible wolf, starvation. J®ie leae bowl may be supposed to be in my ears, and I ought vw* to be eating this bit of bread with angular zest and appetite, but should •sfaed tears over it, only that at 50 the lachrymal ducts, if not dried up, arc r. w.i , •gpgyofeed to be frozen over. A shipping . * Probability of chances against • oae» 50,000 to one. Nothing in the ,;icart preposBessing about me--neither •mirth, sprightliness, nor good looks. Rat yet, ' here John Austin picked a wumb off his sleeve, '4 there was we a young man, it was in Venice, "ho unloaded a chip coming from Crete ® C'andia, and ont of a coarse package #jast-off clothing there tumbled a rowed, white pearl, wliich flashed a dainty 5. Mpkteire of lustrous opalescence in the ; gutter. It was within an ace of falling £>fcuxifi into the canal. That evening, ^^ribea die galloon was unloaded, the *ysmr*r -man carried the pearl to his mas- 4*ar, who, of course, embraced his ship- jsjmug'-cSerk for joy. That old bale of tgoeda, it seemed, by some strange luck cootoined treasures which bad belonged ' j, i "to the commander of the Dardanelles, Z*in ^M'^iHoldlowaiigi Bassa by name, who, of i under the circumstances, was an , *) ^ ^•eeredited foe of the republic, and his K * ' % ^ «oode and chattels wore, tberefore, con- -?• pnze«» I do not think C«uacil. ot Ten or the Doge were f... f/'a' .-,.|p«rtieaiar]y informed about it. When * ' M»|rae package .waa opened, riches untold •- !%prere discovered, untarnisned gems blaz- amid a mass of filthy rags. " One- lMjonrV said the master. "I will j)"i. fi fv.i4 ,. / f t - torn ,• r-rf i inI- • caress a little landing, , "See," said the child, showing a bit of faded silk, and holding up a needle in her small, blue fingers, for it was bitterly cold and gusty in the passage, " mother bra given me a pieoe of an old dress she was turning. If J only had some beads to trim it with! I am gokig to make myself a doll's dress for Christmas. If only I had a doll to dress!" " No doll ? That is hard, little sister. And is to-morrow positively Christmas?" inquired John Austin, as if with some vague idea, for the child's sake, at least, that there was some possibility of mak­ ing Christmas a movable holiday. "Mother had saved some money to buy me a doll, but father is worse, and the money bad to be spent for cough mixture." "You do not say so!" The man's and was in his pocket. Had his twenty- five cents by any chance been divided up then, there might have been twenty cents between him and nothing. Now John Austin was in the streets, and the stupid fellow was wondering over a story he had picked up some­ where, all about a great Russian Prince, in the time of Peter the Great, who happened to have been born just about that time. How a peasant of the Ukraine, who never before in his life had done anything else but chop down fir trees with hie hatchet, as if by inspir­ ation, in anticipation of the happy event, under imperial command, of course, had made a complete set of au­ tomatic soldiers, an army in fact, with mpsic and Generals in front, and cavalry and artillery, and how it all worked, the soldiers presenting arms, the cavalry charging, the artillery cannonading, and the trumpets blowing. John Austin saw it all, and had become even for the moment godfather to some possible Czar, when into one oorner of his pict­ ure there was protruded a little wan face that had not even a doll, and the fancy was gone. Mechanically walking along, John Austin now found himself quite suddenly amid an assemblage of men and boys, all wanting to be ship­ ping clerks, in the act of besieging a business house. "There are people enough here," thought John, "to fur­ nish two men per package for every lot of goods to be shipped out of the port of New York for the next month. I wonder whether, in the present dearth of work, an advertisement headed, ' Hands wanted,1 might not bring oat Briareus in person ?" Presently John had his innings. The faintest appreciation of the postulant's presence on the part of a stripling in office, who cast a rapid side-glance on John Austin, assured the supplicant that at least his chances of filling the position were in the highest degree problemat­ ical. " Perhaps that clerk," thought John Austin, " has been bred up in the house for this particular line of duty, selecting shipping clerks, and exercises his calling with seme fine shadings of discrimina­ tion, which I can neither understand nor appreciate." "You are too old," said the clerk. " How too old?" "We want a young man. Can't you understand ?" "Here is my name with good refer­ ences. May I call again?" " Perfectly useless," replied the .young man. But John had pushed in to the olerk his rather dingy letter of recom­ mendation, which told how the bearer had really been confidential clerk for twenty years in a respectable house, and how by their failure, John Austin at the age of 50 had been turned adrift. " I say--no use at all for this," cried the clerk, as he picked up John's thumb- marked paper, and tried to shove it back through the pigeon-hole. But John Austin had gone. His rude reception as the possible incumbent of the position advertised for had not disturbed him a particle. His experience for the 1AW». year had been pretty much of the same character. John Austin went up Broadway with a brisk step. He would go to the Cooper Institute or the Astor Library, and would pass some three hours there. The temperature there was always pleas­ ant--he might read a book. Then there was a baker on Fourth avenue who sold a very superior loaf of bread for 8 cents, John Austin knew that, for he was criti­ cal in regard to the staff of life. He passed a hack-stand by the City HRII, and remembered when cab-drivers al­ ways said to him, " Hack, sir ?" " That inquiry," thought John Austin, "de­ pends solely upon how a man is dressed. Once they used to apostrophize me." John now pondered about clothes, and gazed at a large poster pasted against the front of a store, which announced " that for only thirty days and ' no more,' the entire stock of clothing would be disposed of at retail." John Austin loitered for. a moment, when two men came out of the door, evidently Hebrew priests, intent on a clothing sacrifice. "It's no use, Reuben, nobody is coming in as long as the hand-bills are not dis­ tributed," said one of the men. " Bring out a stuck of thtiii arcall bills and get some man to distribute them. It ought to have been done two hours ago." " I should be only too glad to take the job, sir. I even think I have capabili­ ties for that kind of thing," said John, stepping to the front. " Well you as anybody else," replied the olerk; "here, take hold," and John had some reams of papers stuck into his arms. "It's 15 cents an hour until 4 o'clock. Now, work your passage and deal 'em out lively. When all your bills are out come in for more." Fifteen cents an hour! Sixty cents; that was bread for another week. John Austin went to work cheerfully, though weary travelers, or gayiy-paiated boats to those foundering at sea, every one of these peor flimsy bits of paper, with probably specious announcements of shoddy coats printed on them, would be­ stow in an actual way on shivering hu­ manity the heaviest kinds of ulsters and the warmest of pea jackets." What harvest John Austin sowed out- iride to be garnered inside will never be known. At 4 o'clock 60 cents was handed him, and he was discharged. Sixty cents would I my him a hot meal, and the man had not had one for a week. He knew where 15 cents would get a coarse but satisfactory dinner. It was thriftless on his part, but he dived down a narrow street leading to the North river in quest of food. Just a block from Broadway a street-vender pushed a doll into his face. It was a ooarse, vulgar, rubicund doll, of primitive type,. decidedJy archaic in character. It had gorgon eyes, with flat plastered hair, with no possible regard to proportion, sawdust perhaps refusing to mold iteelf into anything symmetrical Had he bar­ gained an instant for the doll or exam­ ined it critically, he would have per-' ceived that the doll was minus a leg. " But 10 cents was very cheap," John Austin thought, " for even an ugly doll with a squeak in it." He had quite a de­ cided idea that somebody warned a doll, and vaguely now that somebody else wanted a dinner. He bought the doll with the same airy grace that would have shown a young millionaire disdain­ ing to chaffer with a jeweler as to the price of a solitaire diamond which was to deck the hand of his betrothed on Christmas day. It was a foolish thing for a man with 85 oents in the world. He pushed the doll, now done up in a piece of coarse paper, into his pocket. " Don't," said the vender; " don't ram her in your pocket that way, or you will bust her, and then your little 'un would be disappointed." " Oh, thank you," said Austin, as he extricated the doll and carried it in his hand. It was naif-past 4 when John Austin, still hungry, remembered that he had better go to that office where a shipping- clerk was wanted, and get back Ms papers. He knew that he had not even the ghost of a chance. The office was empty now. " Back again! Well, now, I closed up that annoying advertisement busi­ ness sotre three hours ago," said the olerk. " Didn't I tell you you wouldn't suit ? We are just shutting up. Don't bother. The place is filled." " Would you kindly return me my letter of recommendation V' "Your papers I Oh, yon are the partv that shoved papers on me f In­ deed! Just as if my life wasn't worn out by everybody in the world shoving papers on me. Do you suppose I am going to hunt them up now ? Just as likely they are in the waste-basket. Bee here, you are a regular nuisance hanging around. All you fellows answering ad­ vertisements are just the same. Pa­ pers I Stuff I Get somebody else to write you up a brand-new lot of pa­ pers." " But," gasped out John. The slide before the pigeon-hole was pushed to with a snap, and a voice cried out from behind the partition, "Clear out. I didn't tell you to leave your papers, did I?" John was dismayed. His poor, use­ less old letter he felt was the barest shred of a seeming respectability which was left him. He had been treated most discourteously. There was a table near. John dropped his package on the table, and rapped vigorously with both hands on the glass partition.* "If you are going to make a row," said the voice, " if I can't put yon out the porter must." John Austin was on his mettle now, and felt prepared for any emergency, when a gentleman of about John's age entered, " What is this most unseemly disturbance? What is the matter? What do you want t This is my office, sir." Saying this the gentleman, who had several bundles under his arm, placed them on the table. "Simply this, sir," said John Austin; " I answered in person an advertisement for a shipping clerk--reference required. I left a letter of recommendation with your olerk. He refuses to return it to me, and has been, if not uncommonly sude, at least singularly abusive. These papers are all I have in the world." _" But, sir," said the olerk, addressing his principal, " I told this party not to leave his papers, and the party foroed them on me. I might find them, of course. If the patty will call to-morrow --no, that is Christmas--on Mondav next"-- "You will be good enough to find them for tliis person at onoe, if lie re­ quires them. It is optional with biw> whether Monday next will do," and say­ ing this in an imperative way the gen­ tleman picked up his parcels and left. There was some grumbling behind the screen. " I want them now," said John Austin, " if you and I have to stay here all night" In about fifteen' minutes ' afterward, when the young gentleman had blacked his boots in the most care­ ful manner and washed his hands, in sign of a capitulation a broom-handle was protruded over the partition, on the end of which broom-stick there was a letter, and both were pitched over on to Uie floor. Indifferent as to the further insult, John picked up his letter, took his doll package from the table, and went homeward. In a moment he had re­ gained his equanimity. " You will coiae into my room for a moment, little .sister," said John as he met the child, "always providing your dress is done. But how shall I ever tell w h e t h e r i t w i l l f i t ? ' "You have not a real, true doll for me t" cried out the child, bounding up the stairs after him. " I have such grave doubts whether your dress will become her," said John, exhibiting the package. " It wouldn't matter," exclaimed the child. " Well, then." John untied the string, glanced at the contents, but amaze­ ment ! It was not his doll. What he held concealed, for he bad run now into a corner ol the room, was tho personifi­ cation of bt auty. a French doll--one of those only the most elegant children deign to play with. A. doll of Pans make, in all the supple grace of a kid epidermis and with a colmire of elabo­ rate character. A doll rfoch as finds its way to South America, which, droned in silk and decked with gems, TIUBMH MUU «6gTG6S wnisliip »t their fssiswi, John even dare;! to exert a gentle pres­ sure on the bosom and back of the doll, but no rough sound came. It struck him that such superlative dolls must be necessarily soulless images, mere tulips, in fact, wanting perfume. They were mitde daintily pretty, but dumb and voioeless. There was no room in them for anything more. All had to be sacri­ ficed to outward appearances. Fortu­ nately the child knew nothing of what was passing in the man s mind. " My little girl," said he, "you know now, at least, that I have something for yen. You must be satisfied with an outside look now. Go finish your dress, and, if in­ deed to-morrow is Christmas, I think you may count on some kind of a doll." "All right. I am so glad. Please kiss me. May I tell mother f" " Yes--now clear otit.-'f John Aiwfa'n passed his Bonds through his short gray hair, and was dazed for a moment, then looked at the paper which enveloped th e doll. It bore an addr^s, somewhere up one of the avenues. 'e It's a longish walk for a man who has only breakfast­ ed---but think of the disappointment in store for that gentleman's daughter;" and with this John hurried out, Dent on the interchange. Of course it was a fine house in the vestibule of which John Austin stood in about an hour and a half afterward. .p "All right," said the man-servant. " Leave your bundle." • " But it nin't all right. Your mister took my package and left his in its plaoe. I do not want to trouble him) but only ask him to give me back my ownT Be will understand all about it. John Austin may not have been said to have been foroed to oool his heels very long in th© vestibule, for, tired out with his long walk, he sank into a hall chair, and the surroundings were so warm and oomfortable that he awoke from a doee when a voiee said: "Quite curious, indeed. My fault entirely, gee here, my good man, I must positively have made away with your package, but exactly how or under what circumstanoes I am completely in the dark about. Would you Kindly inform me ? Yes, I think this is my doll. I am quite decided on this point, and this ought to be yours. My wife laughed in quite an astounding way when I dis­ played what, if I may be allowed to des­ ignate it, not being familiar with the subject, is rather a substantial and solid piece of work in the doll way--quite lasting, in faot. But, notwithstanding its comparative excellence, I are, rather inclined to think my little- girl Eoiglii not have cherished your doll as it deserved." Here the master of the house put on a pair of eve-glasses and looked at both dolls critically, and then at John Austin. "I am exceedingly obliged to you for your kindness and the trouble you must nave taken about this trifle, for we were in the very act of sending out for another doll--more dolb, in fact. But, as I was saying, might I request some cine as to how this quite ludicrous, may I say ridiculous, interchange was accom­ plished ? My curiosity is quite aroused." John Austin was on the point of tell­ ing him the prettiest of Perrault's stories, and would have embroidered into the theme the "Arabian Nights," for he felt he might have an audience; but he checked himself and only said, " I was a disappointed shipping-olerk to­ day; I was one of tho unlucky, not wanted. You must have put your doll on the table, and, as you left first, you took mine." "Bless met It must be exactly as you statei it. You will excuse the ab­ surd blunder on my part. I have not the faintest recollection of ever* having seen you before. Ah! indeed f we wanted a shipping olerk, did we ? " " I suppose so," said John bluntly. " You lcok tired,'will you not take a glass of wine? Would you allow me to offer you some slight pecuniary re--" John oovered his face with his hands-- perhaps an empty stomach had made him weak--for th^re was a tear there. He had never been so poor and wrotch- ed before; but yet he never could re­ ceive a penny he had not bravely earned. "I am sorry, my good man. I meant no offense. Was this doll for your own child ? " "No, sir; I have no children." " You do not seem very well off in the way this world goes. Was the situa­ tion you sought for e necessity ?" John Austin, had lie a grain of sense, would have stated that for him it was a plaoe at once or starvation. But he did no such thing; he simply took the prof­ fered glass of wine, bowed to the master of the house, and kept his peace. He was about going when the gentleman said, "You are sure you have the right doll--" " Certain of it. My doll is done up in coarse s*raW paper--yours in beet Manila," replied John, rather gruffly. "Pray, write your address, then, on something--here on the paper of my doll- Thanks," and the servant showed John Austin the door. En route home­ ward the hungry man bought his bread and ate it with thankfulness. It was after 9 o'clock when the girl got her doll. " I give it to you now," said John Austin ; " hold it fast to your bosom all night, or it might be changed before morning." Though there are no postmen of a Christmas day in New York, Joflfti Aus­ tin received a note, however, on that day, requesting his presence on Monday morning, the 28th of December, at a certain office where a shipping clerk was wanted. " It seems that you are the lucky man, after all," said ^he young olerk in the office, looking still quite defiantly at John Austin. "God bless me I you don't say so!" exclaimed John. " Yes ; the head of the house, who never does interfere, has taken on him­ self to mix things up dreadfully- Over­ slaughed even?body. Now, I beg you to think that I have had no hand in it. I even fancy you do not imagine that you are indebted to me for the position," "What a rude little jackanapes you must be," replied John Austin. " Still, though you annoyed me on the 24th, I can't bear you much ot a grudge to-day, alter Christmas, for, if you had not been impertinent, why your ohief would never have interfered, and so made way with my dolL* "Doll! See bore, my old party, if you ain't quite oraacy, you are likely soon to become a lunatic. A precious ship- ping-«l«rk you will make, and the lots of papers that will be stuck at me when I have to hunt for your lost goods. Here, don't bother me. Report to the manager -- that man there, biting his nails." And the slide was snapped to with «, spiteful jerk, t John Austin was regularly installed as shipping-clerk. When he horl held the position for a day he chanced to meat the head of the hoti«ec shin-- ping-clerk,as he saluted his ohiefjx>litefy, might have then been inclined to gush the least possible bit, but the master gazed at him in a vacant kind of way, for John Austin had eatirely passed out of his mind. Perhaps the duties im­ posed on Austin are the only ones the man can fill now. The aggressive clerk's prophecy about packages going astray may in time become true. When spring Bets in it is quite likely John Aus­ tin, reclining against a wharf timber, his eyes half closed, may be freighting "his fancies like argosies with ail kinds of useless and perishable goods, and will be forwarding impossible packages to those drifting clouds which float in the summer skies. Strange to say, like many men's feeble romances, which ac­ cidentally oenter around themselves, the causes of which ore ignored, John Aus­ tin will always think he owed his place, and relief from misery and starvation, to his famous letter of recommendation. As to bis Christinas doll, he antmdy ignored it. ©HR18TMA* am Bt KHF.I, I.TJTW. I COJUKTMAS. Ihe American Way of Observing the Day. Something About Holiday Present*. [From the Chicago Times.] The custom of giving presents on Christmas was imported to this country from England and Germany. like a good many other imported customs, we never exactly know what to do with it, and it is A question it* the custom h*"« not resulted in mote harm than good. We have not yet learned how to keep Christ­ mas in this country, and it is verv doubt­ ful if we ever will. In New'Englan d the day is hardly celebrated at all by the oomp«,mtively few Catholics and Episcopalians. In the Southern States the day is mt apart for coon-hunting, horse-racing, and playing whiakj-poker. It is reported that an Indian onoe aame into a Southern frontier town on a Christmas morning with some fun which he wished to exchange for fire-water. Seeing all the places of business closed except the taverns and dram-shops, he inquired the c&xise, and learned that it was the birthday of ihn Savior «£ ihe world. After surveying the field for some time, he expressed the opinion that the aforesaid Bavior must hanre been a very fast fellow who owned a large number of fast horses and who was mighty fond of hunting ooona. In the West a good many people try to oele- brate Christmas, but make a ridiculous failure of it. They read in one of Wal­ ter Scott's poems or novels how the thing is done in the old country, and foolishly think they can do it here. They succeed no better than the board- ing-school girl does who undertakes to make an English Christmas plum pud­ ding by the aid of the information she deriyes from a oook-book. The truth is, neither she nor her elders are educated up to keeping Christmas. Everything is against its observance. Our trees don't provide mistletoe; our cattle won't kneel in the stable, and even young children have no f%ith in Santa Clans. We are more successful in copying the German observances of Christmas than were the English. In truths the only German custom we ever took very kindly to is that of drinking lager beer. It was reported at the close of the war that a colporteur of the Young Men's Christian Association presented gome one-legged soldier in a hospital • with copies of tracts on the evils of dancing. Christmas presents are generally selected with about the same degree of appro­ priateness ; cigar caseSjare given to peo­ ple who never smoke, while elaborately embroidered shaving leaves s«r© present­ ed to men who habitually wear fell beard. Sometimes an article of wearing apparel is sent to some poor female who has a scanty wardrobe. If this is done it is very certain to be of a character to her olothjng look the worse for the ad­ dition. It is customary in some coun­ try towns to present the minister's wife 'with an opera cloak on Christmas. It is as much use to her as a hand-sled is to a boy living in the West Indies. As a rule, Christmas presents seem to be selected with an eye single to making the recipient of them as uncomfortable as circumstanoes will allow. If the pres­ ent comes in the form of clothing it is commonly some article that will make the remainder of one's dress look shabby. Young ministers always come in for slippers, while the thing they need by way of foot-gear is walking shoes. The chief effect of making Christmas pres­ ents is that those who receive them seem to think they are in strict duty bound to make returns on New Year's day, or on the succeeding Christmas, and they set to studying maliciously what Aap propziate thing can be made or bought to fire back to the person who put them under " obligations " to him. Theatrical Disasters. The disaster which Brooklyn and the whole country mourns has never been exceeded in this country in respect to loss of life; but 800 people were killed at the burning of an Amsterdam play­ house in 1772, »md 1,000 perished in the Saragossa Theater in Spain the same year ; nearly 500 died when the Palais Royal, at Paris, was burned, in 1781, and 1,000 men and women were crushed and burned to death when the Cafe d'Istria Theater in Italy fell and took fire in 1794. tirorer. Gov. Lafayette Grover, of Oregon, is a native of Bethel, Me., and over 50 years old. Gen. Cuvier Grover, of the regular army, is his brother. He is a graduate of Bowdoin College, and has lived in Ossgon since 1850. He has held all sorts of Territorial and State offices, and was the first Representative of the State in Congress. " WE can breed horses, but not men," says an English paper. JSS14 •inrar. i"2«st"ftimer Blow by Ua fireside set with hie pipe »ught, Ae hejrateked how daylight nmd ' I n t h * - * i i < m , i e f f e <>n the other aide, in the old ' >•*»««*• Buddy firelight ahoae on the silver hair srv. -« Apart, with her face to the window-Mae. Looking out, adownf, and beyond the *• Stood a girlish figure, so round and trim/ < While her white hands circled a ehadeda&m, Close about her face to the darkneen bent ~ With the breathless gaze of a thought intent. Looking outward lone, till the rathlM« •- Showed naught but the firelight's fitful spas&^j.j Then she turned at last, with a weary pae& " And crept to her chair in ita wonted plaoe? 'r \ But her tittle face glimmered, plnohed and vH|l In the crimson glow of the gay firelight. She answered soft to theto lightest irord. And cared no whit for the sounding <*1"^ ^ , 1 That told of the ooming Christmas time. i t Then turned, with her taper afresh aHgii^ '££. To kiss them softly, and say " Oood-nifhaf Then the old wife spake, and her voiop kofi^ 41 Little Maudie'c cheeks--they ATB wbSe ig snow, And her step is weak. Should the angels Can we answer them through a pittoned pall Koger, I was young when I wedded yon ; - * i And Bob aa an honest lad enough; Shall W8 path zough 1" « * • • • • f4*t Tie Christmas mora. The bells are Oh! waken Maud, the day is bringing A jeift to you. Father sent to-day Just to bring it home. Guess it now, I You will find it safe in the parlor sear; It will suit, I hope; it has cost us dea*. You will keep it, maybe. Should yon < To send it back, why, we won't refuse. Handle's Christmas gift! It was six fee* And an arm reached out as the cuid drew . But to draw her head to a bosom broad. As he whispered low, " Will you take me, Maade ?r Slowly, hand in hand., came the plighted palrj Till they, mailing, stood by the old manfe cfcqir. " Bleee me, oh, my father!" the echoes CeH With the silver sound of the Ohristmaa Ml Adown the vale. I have never learned That the Christmas gift has been returned.. . Pitta and Point. . •: " HOBSB doctoring and singing aufcbol" is practiced by a Miohq|ande?. ~ IF a man is determined t* preach oil grumbling he oan„ always fiiuf «ooa- sions Rud texts. A MISSOUBI paper, speakine «t the oold winter of 1827, says : 48 Hogs and cattle and turkeys roostmg on the trees were frozen to death." BUFFALO Express : The «ma^ boys are said to be inoculated with a feverish desire to distinguish themselves in their Sunday-school classes. This is said to be a good, indication that the Christmas season is at hand. t SCKHK at a Connecticut postoffloe : Lady--"Is the^e a letter for me?" 01erk-- "No'm." Lady--"Why?" Language fails the olerk, and the lady goes off growling about "sassy clerks," and howling lor a change in the administration. TMJhi Gruphid islktM iiw aW Lad puns. Here is an instance : The sea­ son of base-ball now glides sileatty into the era of buckwheat cakes. The bat­ ter escapes from the pitcher and syrup- titiously assumes forms in whiett the hqngriddleight. A YOFNG New Yorker at a party asked and received the consent of a young lady to accompany her home. He wait­ ed in astonishment while the company slowly departed, and finally hinted that it was time for them to go. said she, demurely, "i am boarding here." ONCE upon a time, sagely remarks the San Francisco Stock Exchange, when a popular favorite started down grade and brought up at the poor-house or pau­ per's grave, his friends would say : "Poor fellow! he took to drink, and you know the rest." Now they say : " The dajjoed fool took to stocks and got bustbd." Stocks and wMsky are oftentimes con­ vertible terms and inalienable friends. AN inebriated Jerseyman in New York, ed by flaming post^s advertising the play of " The Forty Thieves " at Niblo's, went to the box-office and called for a ticket--at the same time throwing down a five-dollar greenback. On receiving in return three dollars and a ticket (he had expected to pay about fifty cents), the astonished countryman, looking first at the money and then at the ticket, ex­ claimed : 61 H-h-how much- d*w ask to (hie) see these ' Forty Thieves ?'" The ticket-seller informed him that the price was two dollars. " Well^" M ' Jersey, throwing back the ticket; and looking sharply at the official, M may k-k-keep yer ticket--I don't cave about seeing the other thirty-nine." A BUBAL SANTA CLAWS, • One night, when the ground was all coveted with snow. Old Santa Olaus saddled hia reindeer to go-- For the hills were so covered with sleet and with frost That he knew if be went in his sleigh he'd be lost. Bo he saddled his reindeer and pus ®a his pack And then he sprang up on the animal's back ; (1 will tell just here what I found out at aofcool-- fhat the gentleman's reindeer, translated, mratin mt t i e ) . The night was a oold one--uncommonly dactc The steed was unbroken, and kept crying " Hark!" And Santa kept telling himself, all along. That he never found matters BO dreadfully wrong.' Afar on a hill, through the comfortless night, Some broad parlor windows burst, gi a suing and bright; Then Santa's kind bosom beat warm with content, For right to that dwelling of oourse he was bent. He brushed with his mitten the frost from hie chin, Then pushed the door open and softly stole in ; The little folks sprang from their corners--ha, ha ! And caught the old fellow, and be wsse--papal War Claims. Following is the joint resolution intro­ duced into the House of Representa­ tives by Mr. Baker, of Indiana, propos­ ing an amendment to the constitu­ tion forbidding the assumption or pay­ ment of any claim for loss or damage growing out ftf the taking, use, or destruction of property during the late war of the rebellion ; Hesolved, by the Seiiaie and House of Repre­ sentative* of the United States of America, in Congress assembled (two-thirds of each house, concurring therein), That , the iollowisig be proposed as au amenamont to the const] nation of the Unil«d States, which, when ratified by the Legislatorof three-fourths of llie Sev­ eral States, shall be valid, to all inttthts and purposes, as a part thereof, to mt: ART1C1JE , Neither the United States nor any State thereof shall ever aeeume or pay any vuuai or demand for lose or damage arising out of the taking, uae, or destruction of any property by Any person ongsgtxi iu Iu6 uulitar y aaval service of the united States, or under its authority, during the late war of the rebellion, if tho owner of euch properly ever gave any aid, conntenauoe, counsel, or encouragement to t-eoeemon or rebellion, or to any pretended Government or authority inimical to the Gov­ ernment of the United States. How MANY children die from Croup, Diphtheria, &c. Thie naw principle, Dr. J. H. McLean's Cough and Lung Healing Globules, will cure Croup and Tiuroat diseases. Consump­ tion, Coughing. Hoarseness. Trial Itoxes, 35 cts. by mail. Dr. J. H. Meiti&a's office* 814 Chestnut, St. Leois, J&o, •

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