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-3#"- NO FUN IN HISt One of the members of the Method diet Conference. recently held here, Was out for a walk at an earl}' hour ©ne tn«rning, and while on HowaFd street h« encountered a strapping big tellow* who was drawing a wagon to * Mack- ftmith shop. "Catch hold here, and help me down to the shop with this wagon, and I'll buy the whisky!" called the big fel­ low. "I nerer drink,'* solemnly replied the good ina.it ' u Well, you can take a cigar." - - 4 "I never smoke." The man dropped the wagon tongne, looked hard at the member, and said; "Dou,t you chew ?" "Xo, sir,*" was the decided reply. "You jnust get mighty lonesome," mnsed the teamster. "I guess I'm all right--I f«»l flrst- rate." "I'll bet you even that"! can lay you your back," remarked the teamster. "Come now let's wariu up a little." "I never bet." "Well, let's take each other down fun then, You are as big as 1 am, ancl I'll give you the under-hold." ? - "1 never have fuu," solemnly au«wer- •d the member. "Well I'm going to tackle you any­ way. Here we go!" • The teamster slid up and endeavored to get a neck hold, but he had only just commenced to fool about when he was lifted clear off the grass and slammed against a tree box with such force that he gasped half a dozen times before he could get his breath. « . ^ "New you keep away from me!" ex-' claimed the minister, picking up hie cane. • * "Bust me if I don't" replied the team- ster as he edged oft. "What's the use in lying and saying that you didn't have any fun in you, when you're chuck full of it! Blame it! you wanted to break my back didn't you! You just . hang around here about five minutes, you old Texan you, and I'll bring on a feller who'll cave in you head!" "I never hang," said the minister, as he sauntered on, and the teamster leaned on the wagon and mused.--De troit Free Press. Trade in all CASES. j3WiM whew you can <lo your BEST! 10 . ' and in that WAY feather yoiir NEST! fbut first care- *.•>!* • tef . " f-.S'iffl' uitifMS, fuller • nd* jatW i .jJfeE AD -^alhe new . .*•S^AUt ^ Vj;<r; . • ! \ - a n ( J . . . . . « r * WINTER price LIST. Riohmond and Dundee Cosh Stores of O. JSP, Kail. Best Prints.. , Best Bleached Cotton Best Unbleached... VII Cambric*.,, Dress braids... Coats Thread..., Spool Silk 100 yards.......... Good Corsets." No. I black Alpacas......-- No. 1 black Cashmere........ No. 1 all wool Cashmere..... Mens suits...:... Bovs suit Overcoats Best Young Hvson Tea...... Best Gunpowder Tea..,...... Best Japan Tea -- -- 12 IBs. Rice..., 5 lbs. Good Coffee •25 l«rs Soap . 12 Cakes Fancy Soap 6 boxes dime Matches . j. 7 10 9, 6 6 r> 10 fto 38 80 .#7 to $28 te.8o to $io ib to $20 ' 80 No. 1 Syrup. ;. 1 lb "Castile" Soap. * 1 BoxM.ayer Kaistm sV.... .7. 12 '.hs. Pared Peaches Saleratus v Sih er G1 >ss Starch.'.'.'.'.'.'.* Corn Starch , 20 lbs. Cod -Fisii ,........ V.*. 10 Tbs. R.'Usens J. , *' 15 lbs. Prune* 12 1bs. Zante Currants. 50 Good Cigars Stove Polish.................. Axle Grease .7.7." Ladies Shoes stood........... LOO Best J\ip lioots. fA ' i i*:' T. . . 70 1.00 1.00 LOO 25 25 Good Ki;» TJoot Good kip Boots ... " Boys Hoots No. 10 to 13.. Bovs boot.- No. 1 to 5 Furs.and Robes. 66 ............. 15 8.00 .... J.oo • v. 8 * in 10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.00 . .loo .............. 100 • too LCO ....... 5 ...... j,...' 8 • 1.00 • ••», tr. too ...... 8.00 $2.50 *2.00 2.50 to 2.80 All Prices. I am prepared to sell yon Goods cheaper than any RTOUE in the NORTHWEST. WHY NOT? I buy and sell fo ~ * • = -«-. « list, ALL my immense ONE price to'all and that see me. C. F. HALL, for cash,--make no bad debts, and light running expenses completes the se stock of men and boys' clothing is manufactured Expressly for ME. that the LOWEST. A cordial invitation is extended to YOU to call and N E W S T O R E ! A New Hair Tonic Worth Having. It Is the best. Wood's Improved Hair Restorative is unlike any other, and has no equal. The Improved has new vegetable tonic properties; re­ store grey hair to a glossy, natural color; restores faded, dry, harsh and falling hair; restores, dresses, gives vigor to the hair; restores hair to pre­ maturely bald heads; removes dandruff, humors,scaly eruptions; removes irri­ tation, itching and scaly dryness. No article produces such wonderful efteots. Try it, call for Wood's Improved Ilair Restorative, and don't be put off with any other article. Sold by all drug­ gists in this place and dealers every­ where. Trade supplied at manufact­ urers prices by C. A. Cook & Co., Chi­ cago, Sole Agents for the United States and Canada, and all Wholesale Drug­ gists, J O H N M . S M I T H Having removed to his New Store, near the De­ pot, is better prepared than ever to supply his cus­ tomers with New ffapn and S H O P ! McHENRY, ILLUVOIS. E. PERKINS Would respectfully inform his friends and the public generally that he is now prepared^ at his Shop, West of the Public Sijuare, to do all kinds of Carpenter Work or work in wood of auv kind, such as the wo<><l-work of Biipr- gies, Wagons, making Boats, &?., and in short anything ever made in a firs Uc lass Carpenter Shop. From a long experience in the business and using none but the best of Luniber I can la all cases Guaraiitee Satislnction l Stoves, Tinware, See., And at prices that DEFY COMPETITION. His stock of Stoves, both COOK and HEATING, cannot be excelled in the County. QUICK SALES & SMALL PROFITS Is his mottp, CaU and see for yourselves. JGS Sra M. SMITH. McHenry, Ills., No?. IT» 1876, PERRY & MARTIN. Baring entered into an arrangement witti Hr. Phillip Hauperihs! Who will do the IRON WORK, we are prepar­ ed to get up Buggies and Wagons to Order on the most Reasonable Terms and Warrant as represented. MR. HAUPERJHS' SHOP is one Block Sonth of my Shop, where all those wishing Jobs in the Blacksmith line should oalL GENERAL JOBBING Promptly attended to. Give Me a Call! E. PERKINS. McHenry, 111., Nov. 29th, 1876. NEW BLACKSMITH AND Headquarters for all Kinds of Dry Goods Clothing, Boots and Shoes, Hats and Caps Groceries of all Kinds, Crockery Glass-Ware, FRUIT CANS, CARPETS, TRUNKS, And in short, a First Class Stock of General Merchandize. THE UNDERSIGNED HAVING ^UILT A new Shop North of Perry & Martin's Store near the Brick Church, is now prepared to-do anything in the line of Blaoksmithing or Wagon Making, on short notice, and guaran- tee satisfaction. . Having entered Into an arrangement with Mr. E. PERKINS, wh« will do the Wood Work, we are prepared to get up Buggies and Wagons to order on the most reasonable terms and Warrant afi repre­ sented. Horse Shoeing & General JoWisii promptly attended to, 9STA good Shed for the accommodation of Customer* * Give Me a Call! MteHenry, PHILMP HAU?E8IHS. or. 28tb, 1376, We are constantly receiving new Goods of all kinds, and buying them for Cash Down are thereby enabled to offer special bargains in all classes of goods, We know that talk is cheap, but the party or parties who can undersell us don't live in this neck of the woods. Our LARGE AND CONSTANTLY IN­ CREASING TRADE testifies better than anything we can say that OUR CLAIMS ARE NOT UNFOUNDED. We always guarantee our goods to be what they are represented to be and are always ready to make good our word. Wc are here to get a livelihood andhenoe eannot afford to.be undersold or to deceive thfi public, nor to ask enormous profits on our goods. We intend to " Live and Let Live!" And while we are grateful to a generous public for their patronage in time past, we hope to merit the same in the future. m*-GIVE US A CALL and We will chow you our Good# and use you well whether you buy of us or not, PERRY &. MARTIN. McHenry, IU., July 27th, 1876. ..At ^ °W 8t,",d 0W,," * BTOlhM' Eatablished 1B6S. GILMORE & CO., Attorneys at Law, 8aec«Mur* to Cblpmiut, Hoam«r 4k C*., 629 F Street, Washington, D. OL American and Foreign Patents. ] Patents procured iu'all countries No FKKS IN VANCK. No charge milee* the patent it granted. No fee* for niakinjr preliminary exami­ nations. No additional fees for obtaining and conducting a rehuiiriiijr. Special attention (riven to lm«rf«rt>n<'e (toces before the Patent Office ExU'imtuii* hflore Cohki***, Infringement. Suits lu ditferent Stales^ ami all litiKitUuit appertain- in* 10 Invention* wr I'ruelilH. &KNM STAMP ItHt FAMI'III.KI OK SIXTY 1'AUh.K. United States Courts and Departments. -.Claims prtwuwiupil in (lie Supreme Court of the Uniied suitwf, < 'ouri of Claims, Court of Commia- eioneis of A lati.inia Cl.-iiins, Southern (Maims OommioHion, ;iinl all cl.-tswes of war claiiUK before the ExeiMitivi. |te|>:iunieiils. Arrears of Pay and Boonty. OFruaus, NOI .i>IKII .S , and S A I I .OKKof the late war, or their lu-im, ; • ie in uiimy ciinhs end tied to money from ilietJovenmieiit. of which they have no knowletiRe, Write lull lii»iory of service, and •tale amount of pay and i>oi»niy received. En­ close stamp, ami a full reply, after «xamiuatioa, Will be given yoti free. Pensions. All Ofricitiitt, MH.iHKK.s, :• n«l MAII.OKK wounded mptureU, or iujured in the late war, however slightly, can obtain a pension, maiiy now receiv­ ing pensions are entitled to :iu hirrense. Send stamp aud informal ion will lie furnished free. United Staten General Land Office. Contested I.i:ind (l/ws, I'rivale l.aud (Maims, Mining Pre-emption :iml llome*te;td (,'ase.s, i>rose- CUted before the (ieneral i.and OIQce and l>epai't- mentof the Interior. Old Bounty Land Warrants. The last lieport of t lie <!oniiiiis»ioner of the General Land Olllce shows?,89T,.r>0Macres of Boun­ ty Land Warrant* oiiimaiMliiig These were is­ sued under net of lSf).", nnd acts. We pay cash for them. Heutl liy reyu'emJ letter. Where assignments are imperfect we give instructions to perfect them. , Eael> department of our business is conducted la a separate bureau, under the charge of expe­ rienced lawyers and clerks. By reason of error or fraud many attorneys are suspended from practice before the Pension and oilier offices* each year. Claimants, whose attorneys have been thus su»|>eii(ied. will be gratuitously furnished with full information and proper papers on application to 113 As we charge no fee.unb**s successful, stampp for return poeiaye should be sen t us.1 Liberal :irranjreinents made with attorneys in all classes of business Address GILMORE & CO., P. O. Box 44. Wonhington. V. ft WASHINGTON, 1». C., lf»ver(ib*r 24,1870. I take pleasure m; expressing my entire confi­ dence ill the re.xiionxibility and jidelitu of the Law, Patent aud Collection House of GILHOR* k Co, of this city. GEO. 11. 11. WHITE, [Ctuhier nftUr. Sutiuntil Metropolitan Bank) L. FRANCISCO, WAGON AND Shop opposite the Parker House, McHENRY -ILLINOIS. Persons contemplating purchasing a new Buggy shouM call at my Shop, I can give you agouti upon IJuggy. »vii|y of the best material and finisher] in iiv.st clan* tattle for |t)0. Am now proparing to put tip a line lot of Cutters, which will be sold at Hard Pan Prices lor Cash. I am also Agout for all load­ ing Farm Machinery. H o r s e S h o e i i i f f A SPECIALITY. R E P A I R I N G Of ail kinds promptly attended to. QtvH and see for ypurgelf. L. FRANCISCO. MoIIpnry, 111,, Nov. 14th, 1876. FOUNDRY AND YOLO, ILXj, WARD B. GALE, Propter. The undersigned liavo just started a Foun­ dry and Machine Shop, and are now prepared to "do all kinds oi Casting for Machinery, on short notice and iy the l>est of manner. We also mauufacUire the celebrated Gale Wind Mill. Repairing of all kinds done promptly and satisfaction Guaranteed. Threshing Machines repaired an short no­ tice, Orders solicited. WARD B. GALE. Volo, 111., July 6th 1876. BAYLIES. GREAT Mercantile College, Keokuk, Towa, on the Mississippi. Prof. Wm. II. Miller General Manager. Nineteenth year. About sixty dollars pay all expenses, for Membership Board and Stationery. Bookkeepers, Penman, Reporters. Operators, Architects, Surveyors and Teachers thoroughly lifted. Knglish branches free. Free Lectures by eminent Orators, Free Festivals with -Brass Band in College Hall. Free furnished rooms for self lK>arding, Telegraphing free. Short hand writing free. GIKMI boarding clubs and family lxmrd. Railroad fare deducted. Immense business in Keokuk. No vacation. Address Baylies College, Keokuk, Iowa. State where you saw this advertisement, WESTERN HOMES! THB LARK CITY JOUUNAT, is a local news paper published in the midst of the Garden of the West, where lands May be procured at $3 to per acre. The man of whatever age, pro­ fession or capital, can here make his fortune. Those contemplating a western home and competency, may be thoroughly informed by becoming subscribers to the JOI KNAI.. TEitMg: One year, $2 00; Six months, $100; Three months, Q0 cents ; postage paid. Address " T. 11. IIOTriiKlSS, Lake City, Iowa. SPECIAL NOTICE* WE WILD! «L08E OUT OUR ENTIRE STOCK L'S-it --TTSWr bis is no Ilumbuo'. Ca!l aud convince yourselves that we are <roiiiff to sell ottt ouif ehtire Stock of Gloves. Mittens, Hosiery, LAWKS AND GENTS* Underwear, At what they Cost lis at'the lead- Fng factories in the country. Corner Main Street and Public Square, WOODSTOCK, - - * - ILLINOIS Dated Sept. 20th. 1876. LAUER & BECKER, Near the Depot, McHENRY, - - ILLINOIS The subscribers are now prepared, with a Stock of , Fine Cloths of a!! Kinds, To make to order Coats, Pants, VesMnr en- tiro Suits, on short notice and on the most Reasonable Terms*- *»-Oood pus Guaranteed and all Work WARVINIWD, We also Keep a Full Llnejpf Ready - Made Clothing, GENTS FURNISHING GOODS, Hats, Qapsi &c.7 Whlell will be sold as Low as at any estab­ lishment ill the County. Wo haveenme here to stay, and respectfully a«tk a share of public.-patronage, pledging our­ selves to do our l»est to please all Ayhp i^ny gi^e us a call. ^ Clothes Cleaned in tUe he&t <>f ^nd on short notice, LAUER & KtTCKER, McHenry, July 25th, 1876. NEW FIRM. BLAKE & BENTFIELD. Having Removed to their New Store, Comer of Owens' Old stand, have just filled \ip with a large an<i well selected Stook of GLOVES and MITTENS, GROCERIES, CROCKERY & OLASS-WA^E And are now prepared to sell all Goods in their line AT THK toWEST J4Vl*iG rRIC|CS Our Gwds are a^l new and selected with especial reference to the wants of the people of this community, trouble to show Goods, (livll and examine onr Goods and Prices before purchasing, •^"The Highest Market Price Paid for But­ ter, JCggs, and all kinds of Country Produce. Shoe Shop. Our Shoe Shop is in full Running Order and we are prepared to uuike Boots and Shoes to Order or do Repairing on short notice. Weare Agents lx>r thp celebrated Patent Ileel-Stiffe- ner, which is warranted to prevent Boots and Shoes frctni Running Over. tti'All warrant­ ed^ BLAKE A BENTFIELD. McHenry, 111., Oct. 27th 1876. Errors of Youth.' A GENTLEMAN who Buffered for year* trom Nervous Debility, Premature J)e. cav, and all the effects of youthful indiscre. tion wi(l, fitr the sake of suffering humanity, send free to all who need it, the recipe and direction for making the simple remedy }>y which he was cured. Sufferers wishing to lirolit by the adviser's experience can dQ sq by a«ldressmg in iierfect conlldence JOHN B. OGDEN, 42 Cedar St., New York, To Consumptives. THH advertiser, having been permanently cured of that dread.disease, Consumption bv qsimple remedy, is anxious to make known to his fellow sufferers the means of cure. To all who desire it, he will'send a copy of the prescription used, (Free of Charge), with tha directions for preparing apd using the same, which thev will find a aure cure for Consump­ tion, Asthma, Bronchitis, &c. Parties wishing the prescription will please address Rev. K. A. WILSON, 194 Penn St., WilliamsUurgli, New York. . V«.))S : I . ' . ; ' • ^ THE CHICAGO & KOBTH WE8TKBN BAIL WAT Embraces under one management the Great Trunk Railway Lines of the WEST and NORTH-WEST, atid, with Rs numerous Branches and connections, forms the shortest and quickest route between Chicago and all points in Illinois, Wisconsin, Northern Michi­ gan, Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska, California aud the W extern territories. Its Omaha and California Lino Is the shortest and best route between Chlcft go and all points in Northern Illinois, Iowa. Nebraska, Dakota. Wyoming, Coolrado, Utah, Nevada, California, Oregon, China, Japan and Australia. Its Chicago, St Paul A Minneapolis Line- is the short line between Chicago and All points in Northern Wisconsin and Minnesota, aud for Madison, St. Paul, Minneapolis, Dn- luth, aud all points in the Great Northwest. Its faCroaae, Winona ft St. PMer Line Is the best route between Chicago and La­ crosse, Winona, 'Rochester, Owatbnna, Man- kato, si. Peter, New Ulm and all points In Sonthern and Central Minnesota. Its Green Bay & Harquette Line Is the only line between Chicago and Jan$s- ville, Watertown, Fon du lac, Oshkosh, Ap- pleton. Greeu Itov, Escanaba, Negaunee, Marijuette, Houghton, Hancock and the Lake Superior Country. Its Freeport & Dubuque Line Is the only route between Chicago and Elgin. Roekford, Preeport and all points via Free- port. Its Chicago & Milwaukee Line Is the old Lake Shore Route, and is the onljr" one passing between Chicago and Kvanston, Lake Forest, lliglilnml Park, Waukegan, Racine, Kenosha and Milwaukee. Pullman PalacaDrawing Room Cars arc run on all through trains on tfvt* road. This is tlie ONLY LINE running tlisse ear» between Chicago and St. Paul and Minne­ apolis, Chicago and Milwaukee, Chicago and Winona, or Chioitgo and Green Ba v. Close connections are made at Chicago with the Lake Shore and Michigan Southern, Mich­ igan Central, Baltimore ami Ohio, Pittsbtn*. Ft. Wilyne, & Chicago. Kankakee Line anil Pan Handle Routes, for all points EAST and SOUTH-EAST, and with the Chicago and Al­ ton and Illinois Central for ail points SOUTH. Close connections are also made with the Union Pacific R. R., at Omaha for all far Week points. * Close connections made at junction points with trains of all cross pmnts. Tickets over this rout«; are sold bv all Cou- n ticket agents in the United States and anada. Rememlier you ask for your tickets via the Chicago & Northwestern Railway and take none others. New York-Office, No. 415 Broadway; Boston Office, No, 5 State Street; Omaha Office, 245 , Farnham Street; San Francisco Office, 121 Montgomery Street; Chicago Ticket Offices. 62 Clark Street, under Sherman House; 75 Canal, corner Madison Street; Kinzie Street Depot, corner W. Kinzie and Canal Streets; Wells Street Depot, corner Wells and Kinzie Streets. For rates or information not attainable from vonr hoine ticketagents,apply to MARVIN HTJGHITT W. H. 3TI JfHETT, General Supt. Gen'l Passe: .ger Agent r. 11 Say! Mrs. S. A. REID, East Side Public Square. WOODSTOCK, -ESS x.LIJfOIS, Ifa^ the Largest Stock of Ever brought to McHenry County, and caq sell you a Fashionable aud hondsomer Hat or Bonnet for LESS MONEY than any other, establishment in the North wast. Tins is f^afapd £o discount • HER STOOK Hats, Flowers, Ribbons, Lacesi NECK - TIES, COLLARS AND CXJFFS, IB complete ip erery paticular. Call and bQ oanyipced, Mrs. 8. A. REID. WoodBtook, Nov. 16th, 187ft. jr. S TORY. -^DEALER IN-- 8helf and Heavy Hardware , STOVES TINWARE. MECHANICS' TOOLS\ IAUMING IMPLEMENTS, I CLOTHES WHINGERS (fee., &c., &c,, &c., WJHOH WILL,. BE SOLD L O W E R T H A N U & U A I , P R I C K S ! Now is the time to purchase, and save mon ey. I believe that I can furnish good goods a{ as low prices, as anyone in the county. Also keep on hand a full Stock o< BUILDING PAPKR, such as Plain Board, Water Prooi, Iron Coated and Tarred Felt. AJsp Moth Proof Carpet; Liping. KAWL. AND SEP I Ilepairinjf Promptly attended to. J..STCRY. Opposite Owenp ^1)1), %