McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 9 Apr 1879, p. 6

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"•T'V * , M -w r) -V# A ' . / k^K \ • . •' - V '̂J iFUZ. *» - !<•••» ' , tjNMwad, of tO» nnbonsd; « n the sussbine re*t« saErass^- iidiiiiMMi,tMtuiir«iii • -vy^. In «b*» UtMnl A»t,*f»*areptis«dot*«M*U ilHl tBlifll WlHttli IB TTlHWf t*Pi W; -*r Of oettla, aleak i Who, rutntnattog. hag adhfcfr WlthtesyltfvffcMae, ak*t : j:® .1̂ i%m btnqrud p»th their ranka protons. ThsVedrbreaat seeks the fame** door And Alls Ms nop with stolen stote;* , The btestrfM from 8©otti| | . , Brings •wtsto-jswste Hi hia «ottth,^v And Stipes them 0*6? the waking wartd, WMchaudtas reply with flowers of gold. Theblackbird on bit alter twig v; , >, Pratenlike*11 mMermantc pttg, , And the red flame upon his wings 11 Of ramaw heat a promise bring*.* "! • lli» smrlMmideneet builds on hl^ WliM*1frea£t*s the hemloflfc'B fragnnt sigh, And fromthe hazel covert come Tkis Oubbtfin^ of the pheasant's drum. ' 7?. £ " ̂ * *<• * •> , •>' °*,>* \"c« >4» • * •> , with his rod and hook, ; Aafka for trout along the brook, • And with apatience rare,and akill^ t •/•*' Gtalding his allm redwfcere he will, •*•-'•' 33urougft tbicketedense he makes his W*y, like a lithe serpent to Its pfey, I/vrtngvrtiti ?howof te&ptingbait - - His watchful victims to their fate, She plowman drives his teaum afield^ Wbei« health the fresh-turned farrows yield; Dm odor bom &e broken sal brth gives as incense to he* God. Hope broods o'er dl; in every nook? S We feel the sweet, expectant look ^ Of nature, in whose silent bowers : We pause to see bar smile with flo*Mi.; Baft, April! month when life rene^hf Its lease of time, wbm nan pursues. . With double strength Ills projects planned While winter rated flttfiMptog land! Month ot awakening, month when faith Takes larger sway o'er change and death; When love applies her subtlest arts To win ft* homage of our hearts-- *. Wis love thee in. returning years, *_« 'tgt»"s April, bright month of smiles and fiwi. JTMHT WITH A ±>f *' -<< U . .'"VS..;' V it*v 1 < IS MANIA*?. * . - w: • By • Tmmg Iwiyws. The maniac wm a giant. He had iMPOken Ids heavy chains as Samson tebka the withes--had torn open the door of the cell--torn the keeper liter­ ally In pieces--burst open the door-- killed the watchman with a heavy iron bar he wrenched from the door--and «M&ped with his formidable weapon into the city. The whole place was ftghast at the news, and we students at the hospital and dissecting-room, who wire connected with the asylnm, had Id nerve ourselves to capture the es- «ped wild beast. I had gone to the dissecting-room alone, and was about to oommenoe us­ ing the knife on a subject. There was a storm rising, andg with a low Bob, the Hind flwdled through the long aisle of forest trees, and flashed with the gath­ ered force of an ocean wave against the dead-house. Simultaneously a hand •truck the light door, and the yell of a maniac rang through and through my Above the door, through the ventilator, the face of the mad- *ad the ararderer peeped dowq at * JN* w?v. t"X #11* f-s-^ _ ft - , « •.'W' t" ' ̂ k * : -^ X* I'v.'.'mm t ' f . f c . - ' »*j{'} *? r » r--: p,-y "* ;•?" • •' ' J S*V Ai ^ 'K' . v*4 * t.i' * ~Anin *n • . fa \. **i - imts'i ' n 'i -\- ^ CV v\. I i -ii-'"" [ ^ ** 4.' * A. *Ab, ha! J have caught you at last $ -there--and alone. I have been wait­ ing for you. Ton took me onoe, didn't yon? Ha, ha! Let me in." - The coolnees of itixminent peril brought my powers to action. I held his eye an instant; but it was evident he was too wild for that; his blood was up, and it roved with eager ferocity through the zoom and over the frail -walls. "With the light bound of a leopard I gained the door and shot . "•he double bolt. 4 gleam of rage dart­ ed from hi® eye; but he laughed, " Ha, 'hftl You think that will keep me out V v .->He leaped to the grounds ' Im an |n- iiint the light was out. ** Wait!" I cried; MI have a, weapon 4n my hand keen as a razor. It has iMm poisoned by the dead body 1 have %0em working on. Burst the door, and Ml plunge it into your heart. If it but touah you, yon are a dead man. You wjnay kill me, but 111 kill you as certain 1» there is a God." The swarthy giant shook the door until its lunges creaked aad groaned Iwneath his hand. Then, laugMn •gain low to himself, he muttered, "Fool, ni outwit you yet," and stole off -v4r the darkness. V;1 heard him, for an Snstant, pmwlim egiiinsl the wall of tike buildiisg, and it «wayed and bent inward with the weight. Then silence. The din of my Ijfelaes made thunder in my ears as I feied to hear his stealing tread, and the •fobbing wind nee anew with a weird •briek, making my efforts fraiUeas. \[/2 A. thousand times I heard his low, J|evilish, murderous laugh. A thou- ' ewsd times I felt his brawny strength j j|gainst the door, and saw his mid face look down at me through the gloom but stiil be did not come. I tried to liink he had abandoned the design •lank off discouraged; but I knew it was Sot so--I knew he was crouching in •ome corner, on the watch to spring on * me when I passed. *«- { Could I stay there all night? Ho ^ . |̂artainly not. An hour or more, and Starry I«eigh (my young wife's brother) ^ would come to seek me^--unconscious " « the %B|igir* until a bloodhound at his we«jii elioke the brave young down %e®s forever. - • r • ; I listened, in the intenraUs ̂ tiie now fitful storm, to hear U he was breathing near me. I waited for the next lull. It came--that deep hush that follows the gusty wind. I put my soul in the sense of taMlng, but no human shadow el When the storm swelled again, I drew the bolt and looked into the night; a black paU hung over the earth and aky. I had as good a chance to pass falfK in tfplobaaurity as he to witch me. With Sfkxdte in my teeth, and the massive 'thigh-bone of a negro ̂ loU him with, if I must»Idrew off my shoes andatepped out into the darkness. A sudden whirl of the tempest almost took me off my feet, and a brick, dislodged from one of the ohim- neys, grazed my head on its passage, and broke in half on the pavement. With bated breath, and a step like the tread of a panther scenting his prey, I parted the thick darkness and turned my face toward the hospital. He might be either here--at any step along the passage--or hid in the angle of the Wall at the door through which I must en­ ter. This seemed mast probable; but there was another doox known only to the doctors. I thought I would elude him. With infinite caution 1 began to scale the high wall, dreading horribly lest some sudden break in the sky might reveal me to the-mid eyes that watched for me--but no. Safely passing the sum­ mit, I threw my leg over for the de­ scent, and felt my foot seised. It was but the climbing tendril of a wild vine skirting the wall. Grasping my knife in my right hand, I crept along the bashes for fifty yards, then struck •cross the lawn for the side entrance. The darkness perplexed me, but I thought I was steering straight. Sud­ denly my foot struck bricks. What was this? I tried to recollect. There tots no pavement round that part of the hospital. I pushed on nneertainly; end, lading a weight in the air, put out my hand to grope for some clew to my whereabouts. I was in an alley--flanked with stone walls far above my head. I gave a sud­ den turn. In an instant I knew I was in the subterranean passages of the asylum. Turning to retrace my steps, the opaque density of some heavy body crouched between me aad the outer air. I heard its stifled breath--its stealthy tread approaching. Just heavens! A struggle for life with a madman in these narrow, gloomy vaults--to lie in a pool of one's own heart's blood in this un­ discovered tomb--and my young wife Oonstance!--was maddening! : For an instant my brain was on fire. Then I thought there might be an eadt --other devious windings in which I could elude my deadly pursuer. Going deftly backward, I turned the angle in the wall, and then plunged at the utmost speed of a young and active man along the back passage. Instantly I knew I was pursued. Meeting another crossed path, I struck into it in the opposite di­ rection. The maniac instantly followed me. What a race through those cavern­ ous depths of the madhouse! What tragic pitfalls might lurk at every step! What black and stagnant pool lie wait­ ing to ingulf me! What deeper depths of icy blackness ihte whiah to fall--and fall forever! , The passage grewnacrower. We were, perhaps, under the very center of the building, and furthest from the outer air. I had tried to breathe noiselessly; the effort exhausted me. I knew noth­ ing of the labyrinths; eould only guess at our position by the distance from the entrance. I had counted the turnings we had made. I thought I eould re­ trace them. My strength was failing. I was fleetest, bat he was most endur- ing. Presently he Irsuld run me down. It would be a terrible venture, but the necessity -was imminent. I would try it. Gathering all my force, I darted like an arrow on into the darkness. The sud­ denness or my increased speed baffled him. I succeeded in putting fifty yards between us, gained and turned the next angle; then, drawing myself against the wall, with every nerve and muscle strained iato preternatural tension, with the mighty heaving of my spent chest crushed into silence by an effort of des­ pairing will, I waited for him to pass mo. I heard him come rushing on with new strength through the blackness, reach an angle, turn it, striking his massive body against the jutting stones. I heard him spring like an animal on •long the track. I felt his hot breath like steam--the foam of |us set Jaws flung across my face--and he stopped. I felt that he was feeling for me--that he was crouching on the stone*. I saw the red of his eyeballs glare up at me through the darkness. I felt the touch of Ms icy flesh on my hand. Like light­ ning he raised himself, and throwing his vast weight against me, pinioned me to the stones. And the mad rage of a m»n at bay surged upon my brain. I clasped my knife convulsively, and seized by the throat, resolved to die hard. It was hair--it was shaggy. The hands' against my chest had a thick coat of fur. I clasped him to my breast, It was "Lion"--my dog, "Lion!" you the wh^le night in that cursed dead house? It is near day; the door has been open this two hours, and Derby and King have been asleep. I was get­ ting on my boots to look for yon." "Why in the name of common sense diAyim lfll lids dog oat af^ Will yon taU me that?" "Why, he howled like amaniao, and clawed at the door till I thought you were in some danger, and I eopld not keep htm in." . "Danger! Well, we can't talk now. Bouse yourself; I have had an inter­ view with your maniac, and he is prowl­ ing round the place after me now. Call up the men. I must go after Philip i m m e d i a t e l y . " , ; , . - v " You don't say ®o?* >v "Yes; don*t waste a In five minutes the whole force of the hospital was out in the grounds. We took him in an angle of the great d6or, crouched behind the jutting wall, wait­ ing for me. He drew his lips baok over his teeth in the dumb ferocity of a mad brute, as he saw me, and his eyes set- tied into a dull* lurid glare, impossible to describe, as he hissed out, " Ha! this is twice--twice you triumph; wait till the. third time!" Around the biasing grate, in the clos­ ing hour of the tempest-tossed night, we shook hands over the gladness of our reunion, and after the story was over, and the horror first, and the laughter after (at the close of my adventure), and Derby and King had left, and Har­ ry Leigh and I stood at the window watching the young winter day rise over the hills, there was something very like tears over the bold, bright blue eyes as he pointed to the granite walls of the madhouse, and said, " Constance would have gone there, Keene, or died, and mine would have been a heavy, heavy life after." •jfft'" '• --p----------^ F"',' THE TOWER Of BABXZ. % or Baalbel, was a lofty temple built at Babylon, by Belus, both as an observatory and a temple of the sun. It remains still in existence, under the name of Birs Nimrod, and has been amply described by Bich and Porter. It was formed of eight square towers, one on the other, 660 feet high, and the same at each side of its base. Lately its height was 160 feet, and the reeds, between every three or four lay­ ers of brick, were perfectly fresh, while the brick seems to be calcined by fire. Babylon continued, for 2,000 years af­ ter, to be the most splendid city in the world, and so Alexander found it as late as 325 B. 0. It decayed on the building of Bagdad by the Caliphs, as better situated lor intercourse, in 760 A. D. According to the Jewish annals, it was built 2234 B. G., beautified and enlarged in 2160, by Semiraxms, who led from it her armies of all nations. The Euphrates passed through it. It was a square, fifteen miles on each side, with 100 brass gates. It was composed of twenty-five streets each way, fifteen miles long, and 160 feet broad, crossing each other at right angles, besides four half streets, 200 feet wide, facing the walla, in detached houses, with gardens and pleasure-grounds. The walls were 87 ieet thkkand 370 feet high. SB. RABELAIS' JOVlkltRifc' The learned and famous Frenchman, Dr. Rabelais, once found himself in Marseilles without money. He wished to travel to Paris, but could not oon- trive a way to do so. At last, however, he hit upon a plan. He started, one first of April, cany- ing with him some full vials labeled "Poison for the King and the Royal Family." At the oity gates, according to the custom in those days, the trav­ eler was searched, and these suspicious- looking bottles were found, as he in­ tended. The officials were horrified, and they promptly arrested him, and hurried him off as a state prisoner to Paris, there to be tried for treason* Not long after his arrival, Babelais and his bottles were taken before the Judges. Then the doctor, who was very well known as a wit, made a little explanation, showed that the vials contained nothing but brick-dust, and was at onoe released--the Court, the accusers, the lookers-on, and all Paris, convulsed with laughter at the joke.-- St. Nicholas for April *GMet Hearrea, Kaifeef what bpt JMAMN9 WOB zn M&OTMK At the recent Blind Congress at Paris a lively discussion ensued among the members as to whether, among the many systems of embossed characters, there was any that deserved to be recommended for universal adoption. The decision was nearly unanimous in favor of the Braille system. Attention was drawn to the great advance made within the last few years by the British and Foreign Blind Association, who have constructed frames for writing on both sides of tire paper, the lines on one oedupying the intervals of the other. It was stated that printing is now also done on both sides of the paper by means of stereotype plates, prepared in a simple way by the blind themselves. Wtfr is a corner peanut-seller like an " tonmm OF pmbasesI BT OLA EKKD M'OHEISTES. S t Mind YounPs and Q«.--The ogl* is said to have been a oalt of attention in the old Ifrigltsh ale houses to thft pints .and quarts being •eored down against the unoonscious and reckless beer-bibbers. Hobson'a Choice.--Thomas Hobson was a celebrated carrier at Cambridge, Eng., who, to his employment in that capacity, added the profession of sup­ plying the students with horses. In doing this he made it an unalterable rule that every hone should have an equal proportionate length of time in which to rest, as Well as labor, and he always refused to let a horse out of his turn. Hence the saying, MHobson's choice," this or none. Fool'8 Cap.--When Oliver Cromwell became Protector, after the execution of Charles I., he caused the stamp of the cap of liberty to be placed on the paper used by the Government. Soon after the restoration of Charles H, having occasion to use some paper for dis­ patches, Cromwell's Government paper was brought to him. On looking at it fc, and discovering the stamp, he inquired the meaning of it. On being told, he exclaimed, "Take it away; 111 have nothing to do with the fool's cap!" Bobbing Peter to Pay Paul.--In the time of Edward YL much of the lands of St. Peter, at Westminster, were seized by his Majesty's Ministers and courtiers: but, in order to reconcile the people to that robbery, they allowed a portion of the lands to be appropriated toward the repairs of St. Paul's church. Henoe the above phrase. Halcyon Days.--The seven days pre­ ceding and tiie seven days following the shortest day, or winter solstice, were called by the ancientjs the halcyon day 8. This phrase is derived from a fable that during the period alluded to above, while the halcyon bird or king­ fisher was breeding, the sea was always calm and might be navigated in perfect security. Halcyon is derived from two Greek words--alnT the sea, and kno, to conceive--and accordingly the bird was represented as hatching her eggs on a floating nest in the middle of the waters. Dryden makes this allusion: Amid our arms as qnlet yott shall be, . halcyons brooding on a quiet sua. XTnder the Rose.--Tins phrase, which implies secrecy, had its origin in the year B. C. 477, at which time Pausanias, the commander of the confederate fleet, was engaged with an intrigue with Xerxes for the marriage of his daugh­ ter and the subjection of Greece to the Median rule. Their negotiations were carried on in a building attached to the Temple of Minerva, called the Brazen House, the roof of which was a garden, forming a bower of roses, so that the plot, which was oondueted with the ut­ most secrecy, was literally matured "under the rose." It was discovered, however, by a slave, and, as the sanctity of the place forbade the Athenians to force Pausanias out or to kill him there, they finally walled him in, and left him to die of starvation. It finally grew to be a custom among the Athenians to wear roses in their hair whenever they wished to communicate a secret which they -wished to be kept inviolate. Hence the saying sub-rosa among them, and now among almost all other na­ tions. Good-by,--The phrase in French was "a Dieu "--to God--angelic adieu-- and used by thousands without a knowl­ edge of its meaning. The old English form of expression, " God be with you," has given place to the good-by of oar times. , Caxpkh, Ohio. «n*i % f-* . :% 5; . p ' ' ./ . ?*"'• ^ f * mMuouotra -DAILY MOVTIWX. Writing in Scribner for April of the wOrk of John Ericssoh> the engineer, who is now 76 yean of age, CoL W. O. Church says: One day with him is like another, so far as its routine is concerned, and this is the routine: He is called at 20 min­ utes before 7, summer and winter, and rises punctually at 7. On rising, he rubs his skin thoroughly with dry tow­ els, previous to a vigorous soouring with cold water, crushed iee being added to the water in summer. Gymnastic exer­ cises follow before dressing. At 9 o'clock a frugal breakfast is taken, oonr sisting of eggs, tea and ooarse brown bread. At half past 4 he dines, the din­ ner never varying from chops or steak, a few vegetables, and browu bread and tea again. With the exception of tea, Ms only beverage is ice-water, and this partaken of without stint. Tobaooo is never touched in any form, and no dis­ sipation whatever in the way of eating and drinking is allowed under any cir- oumstanoea to vary this anchorite routine. The homes from dinner-time until 10 at night are usually devoted to work, and from 10 until 12 Capt. Ericsson seeks exercise in the open air. During working hours his time is divided ir­ regularly between the drawing-table and writing-desk. The day's labors eon- elude with a reeord of its events in a diary, which has one page devoted to each day, never more and never leas. This ditty if/written chiefly in Swedish, •'t t- 'J,' „S?-* \*~;J 1 . • ' "r ' - J# • and has now volume, amoun 14,000 pages, about thirty-nine yeen. been omitted in this im venth; •d over: a period of Not a day has excepting about twenty daysdoubig the latter part of 1856, when CaptJBrieisaa met witkaA accident which deprived lilm of a finger on his right hand, crushed by machine­ ry. It may be added that his bedroom windows are never wholly closed, evfeit1 during the severest weather, he having mathematically demonstrated for him­ self that direct communication should exist between the inner and the outer air, * to the extent of a sectional areflr of fifty square inches." The hall win- dows of his house are open, too, winter and summer, and none but open grate fires are allowed. Insomnia never troubles him, for he Mis asleep as soon as his head touches the pillow. Hia appetite and digestion sure always good, and he has not lost a meal in ten yeara. What an example to, the men who im­ agine that it is hard work that is killing them is this career of unremitting^!)* dustry! QUICKSNBD COMS€IElTCBS»- ?•*' Georgia has a stringent pistol law* The penalty is forfeiture of the pistol, and a fine of $60, and, at the discretion of the court, imprisonment for thirty days. A short time after this law went into effect, Judge Lester was holding court in one of the mountain counties of North Georgia, and, right in the midst of thfc trial of a cause, he asked the attorneys to suspend a few moments, and told thq Sheriff to lock the Court House dcor and let no man pass out without permission from him. Then said the Judge in his firm, decided way: "Gentlemen, I saw a pistol on a man in this room a few mo-, ments ago, and I cannot reooncile it to my sense of duty as a peace offioerto let such a violation of the law pass un­ noticed. It may be that it is my duty to go before the Grand Jury and indict him, but if that man will walk up to this stand and lay his pistol and a fine of $1 down here I will let him off this time, otherwise I will go before the Grand Jury and testify against him." The Judge paused, and an attorney who was sitting down just before the stand got up, slipped his hand in his hip-pocket, drew out a neat ivory- handled Smith & Wesson six-shooter, and laid $1 down before the Judge. "This is all right," remarked the Jndge, "but you are not the man that I saw with the pistoL" At this another attorney, sitting im­ mediately in front of the Judge, got up and, drawing out a small Colt's revolver, laid it and a $1 bill upon the stand. "This is right again," said the Judge, "but you are not the man I speak of." Thereupon a large man just outside of the bar walked around, ran his hand into his bosom and, drawing out a huge old army pistol, laid it and $1 on the stand. "I declare," exclaimed the Judge, "if this don't beat all; you have dor e right, my friend, but you are not the man that I saw with the pistol." This process went on until nineteen pistols and $19 were lying on the Judge's stand. Then there was a pause, and it appeared as if the crowd were pretty well disarmed; at least, if there were any more pistols in the house their owners did not seem disposed to give them up. • " Gentlemen," resumed the Judge, " here are nineteen persons who have acted like men in this business, but m man that I saw with the pistol has not come up yet, and now," continued he, pulling out his watch and looking toward the far side of the Court House, "I will give him one minute to ac­ cept my proposition, and, if he does not do it in that time, I will point him out to the Sheriff and order him to take him into custody.1* Immediately two men from the back part of the house began to move toward the Judge's stand. Onoe they stopped, and looked at each other, and then, coming slowly forward, laid down their pistols and their dollars. As they turned to leave, the judge said: " This man with? the black whisken is the one that I saw with the pistoL" Then Judge Lester gave • short lecture upon the cowardly, foolish and wicked habit of carrying concealed weapons, and assured his audience that in the future the law would be strictly enforced. The oourt proceeded with its regular business, and it is needless to add that in that oounty the habit of carrying pistols was broken np. Bread forms one of the most import­ ant parts of the ration of the German soldier. In time of peace, while he re­ ceives only five and one-quarter ounces of uncooked meat daily, the private soldier is supplied day by day with one pound and nine ounces of bread; when fighting for the Fatherland every officer and man with the mobilized army is en­ titled to a free ration of over two pounds of bread, and field-bakery trains and steam ovens for providing the laxge amount of bread required form a recog­ nized part of the equipment of an army Pabdonkd Communists are Ibegiii^ ning to arrive in Paris in oonaidemU# numben from New Oaiedonii. ST M. I* MOCUUS, AM arflwrart,! •' ^VL •* Or arvpraysm Xgn* Isnndyiac; like Phosntx dying •' Treat bbMdnc pyik. Wfcssilevels pus ' ;- it wttl eadu*, ji larnwirli Ifrft Ifcabdi my sighing, • im, in dying, ' • . >LL * And e'en then lot* wfil eaMn, '-T' •' - willeodoM^ ^ Parting rare one, , •<. , • ,«<• v, . v.: What some onsfcesedti-;v -1 •' • <r». Slfcy thon knowest:-" : fffe -f®»at true love g-Mst. » E'en like a bird ^ % 0 . 1' ksH s§ 'JIN mate la seeking. When love is speaking -^•7. B»r® oomes a trust ^Khleh lives will keep Embraoe the dnat. Itove age renewest, s ' ( r ' • : And seems truest Jt dssth's long alsep. ™ - W , i \ 1 .! tre, my dearest, , , , -thenexrest * ^ To joys In heaW*. Jfhere it takes as; i^litia love makes ns: if? Of Godforgivsa. 1 * u"l:- igaaish my sigMbgt ' K 3*. % ' 7. ;;|joon Ml be flying: • lf» *_ * To thy fond bnastl weary heart, - _ would never part » From such swsettsslf" '*> ^ 'iantBh my sighiag, ^ V; flU, in dying, ,„'/• • '#e,slaB! sometime, mmf Sometime," most part. • • " •A obov*, dl ' •4^..,. ^•• ^IsEASANTBIES. . , TO % t The pancake is like the orb of day, because it rises in the yeast and sets in the vest. The Boston Transcript has disco?* / ered that a hen with dipped wings hap a defective flew. ON leaving a room make your best salaam to persons present, and retire without salaming the door. Why are your nose and chin con­ stantly at variance? Because words are continually passing between them. Young swell: "I should like to have my mustache dyed." Polite bar­ ber: "Certainly; did yon bring it with you? " Thk individual who called tight boots oomfortable defended his position by saying they made a man forget all his other miseries. These are said to be several men ai the present time whose memories only reach to their knees, and, therefore, they never pay for their boots. We never knew but one man who had absolute faith in humanity, and he ad­ vertised for a lost umbrella in this paper last week.--Camden Post, / An old bachelor says that he's been so often deceived by the chicken of these restaurants and boarding-houses that he calls it the "mocking-bitd." * : "Wx don't know everything," marked the professor," and we don't find many that claim to, except now and then one Nor two in the Sopbamote class." f A clock having struck the hour of 1, a tender-hearted woman exclaimed, " Oh! what a crael dock 1" " Why so?" asked a friend. " Because Hdfcraek its little one!" A book-agent was knocked down by a street-car the other day, and two wheels passed over his cheek. The car is laid up -pending, repairs.--5aw Fran­ cisco Wasp. Some clothing was stolen recently from the office ot the New London Tel­ egram. The editor must have been taking a bath at the time.---Danielson- | ville Sentinel. • ' XABT'S xxpEBmnrr. * Mary had a little lamp, ' • Filled full of kerosene; She took it onoe to light a firs, Aad has not since benzine,, --dnhetrp 9tmttt». Jeems--"I see,Bobin, that the paper says we're tae hae anither storm next Monday." Bobin--"Man, it's terriblef Since the Yankees hae gotten the weather intae their keepin' weVe ft storm every ither day." v w The war-song of the Zulus rufff: Yuml Yamt Yam! Yum! Yam! Ynml Tub! Yam! Yam! , Yum! Yam! Yaoit When they want to vary the monoto­ ny they sing it backward. A JUVENILE CONtrKDBCm. With taos plump up to wimbw-pntj latently watching the falling'sasw : (That turned to slush in the after-rain), ..«• Young Toir let this conundrum go: ̂ v "Do you know what that white stuff la, wfuia* That's comin' down from the sky up thsrsf 1 Do yon give It np? WeU, I guess it at* 3%e dandruff out ot the easels'feaSr.* -rfiitin Omttu. af is oom*~ Oho! Wtotseis gonei* -. Ahaf^: Xest.oomes8ai|U Mar, then Autumn, And go. ; l •stoat " T"" Dras they haw alwajra Ooaa, By gut •WPW, - '4 *,iu. jissj.4, -JftW IM .* r? '/* I'-i'? "f •J"**'!:"' - i j&i." T •' ' J ' * J

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