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I , 4 n 4'.' ^4 >*** r r-\ •.*«**• ,- .:: ' :_,, >, « •' \ . . ••.•>' t " • ': * 1 \ 4. a " : K f t t o 9TTM£UUJLM ..,<1MMk •* STJflft, ,JUU^SX^^ f,-,. i vix;*qm ffUMKnr <r mat. The Queen o' May. she comes this w«(f, , , With *11 things fresh and GfMfe-- '•• vrf By grace of fate a potentate: "" _ " ^' I every inch a Queen! ,( 4. . She taken her stand, she rnlfMi'ttM1 ^ Mie milefi this house and m#;, ,. '*» «&• **r J j'/ * My very purse rules ske. "y «*•£& Make mom! make room! het*lrtuy Waves in the baleful air; ' * • A. da sting brash her scepter la. Her throne is everywhere. ^ She rubbeth well, she ocrubbeth She scrapes., and pokes, and pries hidden haunt* of dust, beware The flaahing of her eyes! •"4< T?- The Queui o' May works by the #$ Her forces, how th*y rush; ' ; .-TU' The household gods bo* down and Before tflbr busy brash. j > JRtiwtjr Where'er yon roam thrtajfh borne, sweet %om», You tread, on soap and tacks; *"* AnA when you'd sit, your wounds to gttiM, ,jl The chairs loom up in stacks. ^ „ .1&>flr boots, rear traps, your bonds and iUf«, 1 - y<»ar co*ts, your d®e$» gi arog*, , . lie massed with carpeta newly rsLni, : ^ : ,«v < "i'» ' AH smothering in duat. \ V'. *f f. Toft moan, " Keep cool," your ml tt MtOcl; <n* Puss in your 5»eaver lies; ; T,\ •m'*f Tour rarer as a household tool JEs.uaod before your eyes. 7# Ah, woman's will is blessed ^ We'll let her have her way, '*• ' v'/Jl But, in heaven's dastlesa mansions, '•*,$ This sort of thing wont pay. , *. Well need no whitewashing up +>• ?7' Shere'U be no pails upon the atair; - I4*s||'; |̂ And no sueb thing as moving day-- No, sir. Nor any Quean o' MV <JBaear. captain** DZirmmM. ^No," said I, "yon sha'n't have him." fOh, pa!" said she, "but I lore him , I love him so dearly.* . j"*! don't car®," said I. "A common :>#»lor like him!" and then she bellowed |$d piped her eye, as might have been expected of a girl. . My girl was a beauty, and she was the : illy one I had--the only one I ever ' lttd--and I owned a boat, and I was known everywhere as Capt. Parker, of the Saucy Jane, and all I had Jennie would have some day; and was it likely . "JTd give her to Jack Blaze, as he was V j^fore themastf No!' ^ MvWell, I set my foot down, and sup­ posed the girl wonld obey. But, lo and behold! what should I see one day •"OJien I came home from the river but : -* oonple of people swinging on my gate? " ; J " " • It was Jack Blaze and JenhieJ and asm wes around her waist! > "I bolted in between 'em like a shell, "' itnd I ordered Jennie to her room, and I ordered Jack away, , and I told him *rhat wonld happen to him if I saw him >|irfwinging on my gate again. "If yoa weren't her father, tSac* said Jack, "JTd not bear saoh words from . < ypOt bn^ as it is, and as you're an old l i a t f -- ' - , u • • With that I fined a flower pot at him 'and called iim a confounded mutineer, and he sheered oflf. Jennie," says I; "I've done well by ylou--your old father has done well by and what have you done by him? i*t;yoa to play the pianner, or hid you taught.wMcii is the same thing, 'totl you've got one. Ton dress in silks, j&d I keep a servant for you, and I've •got you down in my will fear all I shall leave, and how do you use me? While i)$a away following the water you muti­ ny. Now, F^i sorry to punish you. I 4aren^t leave you alone, and I'll look up the house and take you along with me on my trips. The cabin is comfortable •and youll not suffer, and if you don't like it you shall lump it. Keeping com- jpmy with a fellow like that!' Ugh I * " Dont be cross, papa," said Jennie, like to go, I'm sure. As for Jack, jba's the best fellow I know, and 111 keep 4fbmjfanywith noi^ne eiae; btkf if you don't like it yet well wait." ^"WtftPspysX - WaiM Why,if I * ( Ranted you to many, Jennie, there's the ~ - K €bpta£n of a steaiaer told me last week Td the prettiest daughter qf any w«.r> he knew, and that he was tiled of single •• .Tmw v»pl>4#of a steamer, Jennie; >^unk of that!" *r-rN *1 don't beliere he's as nice as Jack," ., t ^ , J|ud Jennie; * and I love Jack." ' Then I shook her. I'm sorry to say % •>' I shook her, and the next day I had her trunk sent down to the boat and took her under my arm to the same The e«i$ar^ ir»» good enop^h for a .eeii. and the little state-room a pict- •n- ^ and she seemed to like it. ^f' You'd hare thought I was giving her • iT' *•" (tit treat instead of punishing her. to f^t rat on deck all the i|ig and sewifig, or %ime eviAinga. !t/give'Up; not even when Captain--six feet three; a picture. T k to Jack, and I stuck out as sti|T as she, and so we down the river and sum- autumn came, and winter ', but my girl was obstinate 1 teip- the river waa frosen, lay at the dock. a good, obedMnt girl,' I'thave lopked^jrou np, •--I was glad to re- I kissed hear-- the door and put and off I went. I ha4 to go a distance otit of town, and there, when I settled my business, I" dined, and it was ^evening before I got b«ck to the Saucy Jane, or, rather, .to Poplar town, whew she lay. } I thought to myself, as I came down, l^at I had never seen the place so busy, but, as I neared the dock, I saw that something had happened. * There was a crowd there, and'peo- ple were talking and shaking their heads, and somehow I couldn't see the smoke stack of the Saucy Jane peer through the shadows as I might, nor the red and green lights at her head, nor any sign of ner, and a great fear crept into my heart, and I began to shake and shiver. " It's only the fog," said I, but there was ne fog. ; " It's dark," said I, but the darker it was the brighter the lights would have ahdwn out. Then, all trembling and shaking like an old man--like my old grandfather, who had the palsy, used to do, I remem­ ber thinking--I caught hold of * man Who was passing, and I said: 5 "Look here, man, what's the matter? What's the crowd about? What's hap­ pened V Q " It's the little steamboat down there," said the man, " the Saucy Jane. She's been run into and sunk by a coal-boat. She went down in thirty minutes. The Captain was away, they say, and the men went on a spree. Only the cabin boy was there; they picked him up. Ton can just see her smoke-stack above the water. The coal-boat was hurt a bit, too. She's lying out there." * Oh, my God! "said X "My daugh­ ter I" ' Then I didn't know wha+< happened, but I found myself in the doctor's shop pretty soon, and a crowd about me, and heard someone saying, softly: 1 "His daughter was aboard. She went down with the boat " "I locked her in!" said L "Wretched 6ld brute that I am! I locked her in that cabin; I murdered her--I, her father! The door was locked and the windows small, and I locked her in to drown like a rat!" Then I went off again, and it was all a horrible dream, until I awoke to find that it was night, and I was alone in bed, and I saw a man sitting beside me. : "Who is this?" said I, in a kind of fright, as I thought I recognized the fatee. •: V . "It's Jack Blaze, Captain," said the man. "Do you find yourself better?"" ' "Do you think I want to be better?" said I. "All I want is to die and go to Jennie. I murdered her, Jack!" "No, no, Captain," said Jack, softly. "Ton locked her up from her true love as loved her, but you didn't know what was coming.*17 "Oh, if 1 could die this minute!" said If "Jack, if you've got a pistol put it to my head! My little girl!" "Well, sloe's safe from marrying me: Captain,"4said Jack. , "I suppose thatls a < omfort to you.9 i s, , Oh, Jack!" said L "Oh, Jack Blaze, if my Jennie could come to life again, there's nothing I'd deny her! She might marry a chimney-sweep, and I'd give her my blessing, let alone a good sailor like you, as I know nothing against, but that he's what I was thirty years ago. Oh," Jack, if Jennie could come back to life I'd give her to you and be happy; but it's tto use, shefa drowned." - "Captain," said Jack Blaze, bending over me, "I don't feel sure of that." "fih!" said L "To be sure," said he, "if she was in the cabin, locked np as you Jielt her, she'd have drowned certain sure, but she mayn't have been." "Eh!" shrieked I again. "Indeed," raid Jack, "I know die warn't." "Oh, Lord, help me! Dont torture me;"saidL "Speak out!" "She warnt, Captain," said Jack, "for fifteen minutes after you left I went aboard, burst open the door-- there was no one there but the cabin boy--and took her out. We went to the circus togeih^r and we had a lovely day. The Saucy Jane's cabin was stove in; the coal-boat walked straight into the cabin, Captain, pod it's God's mercy I tookhero^, . Thenlheavd a.fep^ •*«* vaioecry­ ing out i , i, "Jack, open the dootj let meoome to Dana." 1 • I hadnt cried before sinoe I was flogged at school, but I cried like a baby then, and how could I help it? For Jennie had come out of the grave, as it seemed to me, and was holding my head in her arms, and kissing me and calling me her darling. I was so happy I thought I should die, and I never remembered that I had lost the Saucy Jane until the next morn­ ing, though the boat was the very apple of my eye. I own another now, and Jack pod I take her up and down t&e river. : Jennie goes with us very pften, jfor was married to Jack Blaze last Christmas, and I like the lad--yea, I I think, for if Pd Ween left to myself, and he hadh't set himself against me that dreadful day, I should have bo daughter now, and ! should be her mur­ dered. ' «St| » ' i , - t . . ; ! > ( • : ̂ s t s s i n r ^ r r i f m m ^ r m ^ i r W ) m > j • PrngjOSOPHK ' ^ Showing Jtou> There Are Atway$ 1W: TT«y of X,ooMng at Thtngn. Two boys went to hunt grapes. One was happy because they found grapes. The other was unhappy because the grapes had seeds in them, Two men, being convalescent, were asked how they were. One said: "I am better to-day." The ot^er said: "I was worse yesterday." When it rains, one man says: "This will make mud." Another: "Thiswill lay the dust.". Two children looking through colored glasses, one said: "The world is blue." And the other said'. "It is bright."; , Two boys eating their dinner; on« said: "I would rather have something better than this." The Other said : "This is better than nothing." A servant thinks a man's house is principally kitchc|L. A gneet that it is principally parlor '̂ 7 ; "I am glad that 1 live," says one man. "I am sorry that I must die," says another. "I am glad," says one, "that it .is no worse." "I am sorry," says another, "that it is no bettor." One man counts everything that he has a gain. Another counts everything else that he conceives a loss. One man spoils a good repast by thinking of a better repast of another. Anothor enjoys a poor repast by con­ trasting it with none at all. • 1 '. One tnan is thankful for his bless­ ings. Another is morose for his mis­ fortunes. ' ; One man thinks he is 'entitled to a better world, and is dissatisfted because he hasn't got it. Another thinks he is not justly entitled to any, and is satis­ fied with this. One man makes up his aocounts from his wants. Another from his assets. CAVALRY AGAINST INFANTRY. Col. Dakin, commanding one of the six volunteer regiments which were raised in Louisiana to serve during the war with Mexico, was a strict and capa­ ble disciplinarian, and in a short time his regiment excited the admiration of even veteran officers, by the ease and precision with which it drilled and maneuvered. One morning the regiment was drawn np and the men were standing at ease, after a variety of inarches, and charges, and evolutions, when the Colonel took it into his head to put their discipline -to a stronger test. The regiment was thrown into a square to receive cavalry. The commander rode off a few yards, and then, wheeling Ms horse, came down, sword in hand, at a fierce gallop, straight at his men. He and his steed formed an imposing object, for he was a big man and his steed a big horse, and neither appeared to fear the glistening and bristling bayonets against which they were rushing. The men stood the charge very well until tlie horse and rider were within a few feet; then they broke right and left in confusion, and opened a broad passage for the "cavalry" into their ranks. Of course the Colonel was wroth, and the way the officers and men caught it for a few minutes was by no means agreeable to their feelings. * You' repel cavalry! Why, what would ydu have done if 1,000 dragoons had dhttrged upon you as I did?- * "Well, juist try us again/Colonel, and see if we don't hurt your feel­ ings, cried a number of discomfited volunteers. ' ' v The same again formed. Off rode the Colonel, round he wheeled, and down again he came again at full speed, dashing straight at the bayonets, and looking as if he would crush the line into powder under his charger's heels. The bayonets wavered not, though the horse came faster and faster, and final­ ly, with a terrible bound, sprung at the square. The square stood the shock, and the next moment the horse was stretched on the ground, with a broken bayonet in his side, and his limbs quiv­ ering in the death agony, while the stout rider lay with his foot and knee caught, and himself unable to rise. Not a man moved, the square "#&s silent, steady, and unbroken. In another Wo- ment the Colonel was on his feet. He replaced his sword in the scabbard, looked gravely and coolly at the dead horse, then at the firm array of soldiers, and said, in his quiet way ; "Very well done, boys; both the horse and square did their duty. Now you are ready for the lancers," The.men gave three oheerf, and a Louisiana" tiger."; * JTTDGK MASK W. DKLABAY, whose death lately occurred at Leavenworth, Kan., was one of the pioneer editors of that State. He was the publisher of the Territorial Enterprise, the first •Free Soil paper established in Kansas, the office of which was destroyed by a mofcial8K*. , A BAJHJ-UP affair--A powder-mill f*> BY PAtifc MHiLEB. > I Was 12 yeara old when I caught my first bull-head; I have caught .hundreds of them since, but none of them af­ forded me one-half the genuine satisfac­ tion that the first prize did. How well I remember the day, and every incident connected with it. The maple stump on which I stood, and threw my hook out on the tranquil bosom of the bayou, is as distinctly re­ membered. as though it were but yes­ terday. ! The very thrill that went through me as I saw my floater "bob" for the first time is felt again, and I doubt not but the impression of my brite feet could be seen to this day, in that old waters soaked stump--could it be found--made there ss I settled myself to land the bull-head the moment he put himself outside the angleworm that cunningly concealed my hook. It is useless to try to describe the feeling that I experienced as my oork "bobbed" out of sight and I felt my line begin to tighten. I knew it was a fish of some kind--perhaps % whale or a shark-- and just as soon as the lightning, or something, that had struck me had passed off at my heels, I settled down to business. I felt of him gently at first to make sure he was fast, and then gave him line to play with, expecting to see some exciting work. *But my line was so quiet that it frightened me, and I concluded to land him at once, and, with one mighty, backward movement of my body, I succeeded in landing him about forty feet back from the bank. He was a beauty and no mistake--or at least he looked to me to be all a man could reasonably expect in a fish--as he lay there on the grass. He was about four inches long and as well pro­ portioned a fish- as I have ever seen since. Jonah's whale could not have pre­ sented any better proportions as a whale than my bull-head did^ as a bull­ head. But he used me worse than Jonah's whale did him. He did not swallow me exactly, but he looked as though he would like to, and to my ex­ cited eyes he possessed size enoqgh to swallow a horse. But I found that getting a bull-head back some forty feet from the bank was only the skirmish line driven in; the whole brunt of the battle was to be fought yet. ; I had read in my Sunday-school books that bull-heads were supplied with horns on each side of their head, but-- while they spoke feelingly of/these, a*jd drew many illustrations of the similar­ ity between the Puritan bull-head and Hindoo alligator, that feeds upon the infants thrown to it by idolitrous moth­ ers--they were excusably silent about the ten or twelve horns that are scat­ tered around over the person of every well-dressed bull-head. N I first picked him up by the back, but finding that his back was red-hot I laid him down again. This did not take over fifteen sec­ onds. Fourteen of these were spent in pioking him up, and the rest of the time was lost looking for a good place to lay him down--where it was dean and shady so as to oool him off Next I. attempted to poke the hook out Of him with a stick, but this was slow work and I abandoned it and tried to flank him. I have never tried to flank a live bull-head since, and I am an old man. If I am ever tempted to do so, I look at a scar that I have car­ ried on one of my hands ever since that memorable day, and the temptation gets behind me af thpugh i^were ashamed of itself. : ! • I confess that after my flank move­ ment failed I became angry--young blood is easily stirred--and jumped on him with my bare feet, intending to stamp the life out of him. Of course this was not a very pro­ longed effort, for I noticed at once that there were uq weak points in his armor, and besides I wanted to. go and seek some shady nook- where I could bury my bleeding feet in the mud, and rest, and plan. I found just suoh a nook, and the shade was so tempting, and the cool wind so soothing, that I fell asleep, and a freckle-faced, ragged-backed boy from the "Corners," had carried off my fish, taokle and all, by the time I was awakened by falling off the logon which* I had seated myself. <' Of course I found nut that it was stolen long afterward At the time, I supposed I was the victim of a miracle, and that I had lost my fish through a direct dispensation of PrtJYidence.-- Pock's Milwaukee Sun. •i 8KBLKTGST IX TUB CLOHKV* A prominent physician, who lived in Sheffield, England, kept a skeleton in a closet, which, by an ingenious piece of mechanism, would, on opening the door, spring from a recess and raise its long, bony arms. One evening the doctor and his lady went to a party, leaving theliouse in the meantime in charge of two female servants. The disoiple of Esculapius always kept the closet locked, but at this time the key was lost. Thinking that the girls might vimt the room, he warned doing so. Like Fatima, the wife of Bluebeard, «uKk>sity» however, prompt­ ed them to visit the forbidden spot, and the door opened, when lo! the ghastly bones stalked toward them. Terror* stricken they fled from the apartment* One of the girls received such a fihoo% to her nervous system that it was weeks before she recovered from the effects of the terrible fright.--Cyicago Ledger, JMMOM* BONAPARTE'S AMBMIVAJBt MARRIAGE. Jerome Bonaparte, afterward King of Westphalia, during the Napoleonic as­ cendency, was undoubtedly sincerely attached- to his wife. But Napoleon, who was in the eyes of court circles in Europe a parvenu Emperor, although the only really imposing royal figure of his time, was naturally careful of all the proprieties of sovereignty, and one of the first of these is that the head of thit reigning house must approve the mar­ riage of the members. He consequent- ly condemned Jerome's marriage; and, after a little contest with his brother's imperial will, Jerome yielded and aban doned his wife, and was rewarded with military and naval commands, and the throne of Westphalia. Madame Patter­ son herself sought a divorce, and heir action has been alwavs thonght strange, as she was a lawful wife of unsullied character, and the Pope had refnsed to annul her marriage, which was strictly canonical. It is not impossible, how*; ever, that her admiration of Napoleon, and her consciousness of the impossi­ bility of shaking his will, joined with an indomitable pride which made her scorn to be a deserted but passive wife, may have determined her resolution. It was better to be wholly and lawfully free-- better, even if she had no other coun­ sellor than ambition. When Jerome complained that die was willing to re­ ceive aid from his brother Napoleon but not from him, she is said to have replied that she preferred shelter be­ neath the wing of an eagle to suspen­ sion from the pinion of a goose. Once, after the separation, she met Jerome. It was in the gallery of the Pitti Pal­ ace, in Florence, and his royal wife was with him. Jerome said to the Princess, "That lady was my former wife. Madame Patterson said only, "It is Jerome."--"Editor's Easy Chair," in Harper'srMagazine for June. * BE GENTLEMEN AT HOME. There are few families, we imagine, anywhere, in which love is not abused as furnishing a license for impoliteness. A husband, or father, or brother, will speak harsh words to those he loves the best, and to those who love • him the best, simply because the security of love and family pride keeps him from getting his head broken. It is a shame that man will speak more impolitely at times to his wife or sister than he would dare tp any other female except a low and vicious one. It is thus that the holiest affections of a man's nature prove to be a weaker protection to wonmn in the family circle than the re­ straints of society, and that a woman is usually indebted for the kindest polite­ ness of life to those not belonging to her own household, ought not to be so. The man whoSecause it will not be resented, inflicts^nis spleen and bad temper upon those W his hearth stone, is a small coward and a very mean man. Kind words are the circu­ lating medium between true gentlemen and true ladies, at home, and no polish exhibited in society can atone for the harsh language and disrespectful treat­ ment too often indulged in between those bound together by God's own ties of blood, and the still more sa&ed bonds of conjugal love. COMMON SENSE. Common sense may be cultivated, a very common notion to the contrary notwithstanding. For, though some* men are born with mdre than others, it may be developed like any other intel­ lectual quality. A Judge who has been on the bench for many years is sup­ posed to be more conversant with the law, and to know somewhat more of what is meant in or by the term ^jus­ tice," than one who has been elevated to such a position. A blacksmith who has been pounding iron for half a life­ time has a brawnier arm than his young apprentice. Let a man begin at 21, de­ ciding carefully on little things, and what was first a labor will soon become an instinct, till at last he who started with comparatively no common sense at all, will end with a well-deserved repu­ tation for it. It would be well for the prosperity and happiness of individu­ als, as well as for society at large, if common sense was cultivated more; for to a greater degree than anything else it enters into the composition of good citizens, good members of the family, good ipen and good women.--Chicago Ledger. : •. A CHINAMAN in New York has invent­ ed an improvement upon emotional in­ sanity as an excuse for crime. Being arrested for theft, he denies all respon­ sibility for the offense because he Was under the influence of opium, when he committed it. If the > excuse is held good before a j$iry, the consumption of opium boom." Ani Wi A bandar climbed into an tditort malaS- Needy and poor was he-- • id he saw in the dim uncertain gio itb legs as long as the stem of a broom, A pair of trousers. "I'll just freeze to «aMI;" fie chuckled with fiendish v SOABP. v .,:•$£ Si He lifted them np from the Ibaek of the'ohair; Lightly they hung on his arm; ' They were the editor's only pair, ^ Thinner than gossamer everywhere; -• Oh, but the knees were worn and bars. Good clothes--when the weathet ; » S| COUNTEBSCARP. - AU orer the room he searched in There was no more to find; t j{. There was no sign of sordid gain, No passing drops from a golden rain,' Quty tfce wealth of the rfeeperfs hnUH||||f. ""TS FAKAPKT. ' • He turned his back on that happy home. - • v i Thoughtfully hefting those pants; ry. _ > * Out'of the window be cautiously clome; ' ' „ He emptied the pockets--a broken comb, T -•! . . A stub of a pencil, a manuscript poem, y.%r *3 Answered his searching glanoe. - -y He started; thetesu-s flashed into his «y«i; He leaned up agninst the fences, A look of pitying, mute surprise . Softened his face; he stifled his czltts; He looked at his swag and measured its Slat, Value--about nine oents. • ' . TEnEEPLEIK. k • A. ' Into his pockets his own he went, ,, And he dragged out a ten-dollar / And he hastily crammed it, evej Into the editor's pockets, and bent The trousers into a wad and seat Them over the window-sill. t SLOPX. Then oh to a wealthier house he sped. " Twas a charity well bestowed,™ He said to himself; and, when night had fled And the editor rose from his virtuous bed, And found the money, he whistled and said: " WeH, I am e-sentially blowed 1 ^ --BvrUnffton Bowk-Eye, April 27.. PLEASANTRIES. CAN'T be beet--A parsnip. THE watchword of Life--Tick. AN auctioneer is a man of mofad-hid tastes. SOMETHING to be looked INFA^A mirror. GREEN ' turtles--Those,. who qllow themselves to be caught. , THE boys are shocked at the report that Edison has invented "a lighting rod for schools." THE HE is one kind of canned goods that goes off quicker than any other- Gunpowder. THE elephant is the first traveler of the season to have his trnnk covered with canvas. WARM, comfortable slippers for per­ sons with long feet may be said to sup­ ply a long felt want. " WE'VE moved into our own house now," said Spilkins, " and have quit the pa-rent-al roof forever." A BOY with his elbows out was asked the cause and replied, "I laughed in my sleeves until I burst them." GEN. DIX'S dying request was that there be no pomp at his obsequies, and not a single colored individual was pres­ ent thereat. Two MEN passed down the avenue. One slipped and fell, and the other en­ tered an eating-house. One got shaked bad, and the other got baked shad. ^ A WESTERN editor thus kindly |§* ludes to a contemporary: "He is young yet; but he can sit* at his desk and brush cobwebs from the ceiling with Ms ears." Punch: Mamma (to Hamilton, who has been put in the corner because he would not say "please")--"Yoij may oome out now." Hamilton--"Not till you say 'please,' mother." AN Irishman adorned with a<blue rib­ bon went into an apothecary stttfp and said to the clerk: " If ye plaze, Bir, Pm a timperance man, but, if ye have any soda-water of the strength and quality of whisky, I'll trouble ye for a little." "DON'T be an editor!" shrieks the Boston Transcript. It's all very well to say "don't be an editor," but when a mah iff too honest for a preacher or a member of Congress, what is he to do? --San Jose {Cat) Mercury. IAGO was an undertaker, for did he not induce Boderigo to attempt Casaio's life, and then say: Now whether be Ulls Caasio, Or Cassio him, or each do kill the Every way mikes my gain. BOB INGERSOLL has' been converted. He stopped over-night lately at a house where there were two heartless fiends practicing on the accordion. He takes back all he ever said about there being a place of infinite tot turn Tonkers Gazette. *' SMITH, who had always " tough one," has just died. The phy­ sician is met coming from the house by Brown, who asks: " Doctor, how is Smith? Is he out of danger?" Phy­ sician--"No; he is dead, poor falloi|. but he is far from being out of dwpj& I fear."--Boston Transcript. " DOCTOR, I feel sig all over, und de peeples dell' me I better take your fissicks." Drug Clerk--"All right, six. Will you have a dose of some salts or purgative pills?" "Yell, v»t it coats for saulds? " " Ten cents, sir." "And how mooch for dem fi-sicking pills? " , "Til ̂ ) give you a dose for the same priee. " Tootor, you don't got no seeoad-hand fl-jnoking pills, ain't you